she was a psychedelic mess @orange-spots - Tumblr Blog

I’m back

But I don’t think anyone remembers me.

It is probably better that way.

everythingfox

Fox Village in Zao Japan! 蔵王きつね村

lenbian-moved-deactivated202601

i like quizes i like clicking buttons i like results

bird-big

if i had the aladdin lamp i would ask for a genie blowjob and then a second genie blowjob immediately after. my third wish would be to increase world hunger

Man House has always hurt and it hasn’t really been a available in years to me but

Fuck. Cuddy and House after the amputation episode. When he says he is the most awful person he knows, and asks if he can fix himself.

That’s you looking at me in a hotel in Nashville. The first time you wanted me to come, you knew I cared and would do anything you asked, wanting to be better. You always did want that. You knew your demons. Maybe. It all.

Trust me in a different universe I didn’t fuck this up. As much as circumstances brought where we ended to fruition I talked to you up to the day you died. I know that even if you were mad at me, you would always love me. Even if we never got to a place where you could forgive me romantically you assured me you would always love me and wouldn’t leave my life and I am so grateful for that.

I’m just so sad and I don’t know where to pour this to, I made it such a mess and I hate myself for it.

Every single day of the week.

Is it the Monday morning and trying to cure Monday blues with a few extra minutes in bed? Is it you begging the universe to just let you stay cuddled?

Tuesdays, I had a double and late inventory easily the hardest day of my week. Is it the kindness in making sure everything was taken care of? Of even in the sleepiest of sleeps you still roll over to say “welcome home beautiful”,

Is it big friend dinner on a weekday? Watching you charm a room. Watching you take all the money in dice and loved creating all sorts of dishes. I loved sharing them with you but I also especially loved when we came together to share something with others. Is it walking the dogs in the twilight? Is it being in bed rubbing your chest or back.

Is it the weekend to find ourselves in crowds still able to see each other as the only person in the room?

But maybe

On a sunny new Sunday morning walking hugging each other all the way to Keller’s grateful gospel, your eyes filled with pure love. Looking at me, looking at you, telling me, “I love you sunshine.”

That’s where I want to always be with you.

Regardless of the end,

We saved each other. We both know it.

This hurts so much.

#this is my life jack

This is so hard. I never thought I could have three of my worst nightmares in the same five years. I am grateful for all I’ve learned and the growth I’ve had to harbor thst my grey hair proudly shows.

But I am done with the heartbreak lesson the universe has for me. What else do you want me to learn? I’m out of ideas and now it just hurts.

#this is my life jack

I’ve been saying for days it doesn’t seem real and it still doesn’t but it sinks a little further in my heart today. I feel you in the warmth outside, you live in all the things that are good. I wish we could have been Pokémon hunting and shrimp eating instead this weekend but it was your time. I have so many things to still say, we went through it all. I hope the roads in the afterlife have all the tight motorcycle curves. Everyone tells me you were too good to stay, and you were. You were a good man and I loved you.

#this is my life jack