Vincent Tan

I'm a mathematician, programmer and YouTuber. I like telling stories.

[orcasquall]

Circles of Lost Belongings

I dreamt I was trapped in a hospital full of zombies. I met up with Hayden Panettiere (don't ask me how the cheerleader got there), another survivor. She held on to the handgun while I just punched my way through zombies (because I'm badass that way). We eventually broke out of the hospital and a bunch of people rescued us. They brought us to their base, which was originally a country club. Something about their demeanor spooked us, and Hayden had cautiously hidden her gun in her bag. They were having a party that night and told Hayden and I to go dress up. Hayden had to lie about something and a woman took her to the country club proper while the rest of us stayed in the fields (presumably where lacrosse was played). The rest of us were under big umbrellas with seats underneath. Lots of belongings were scattered here and there, presumably belonging to other survivors. Before Hayden left, she looked at me and tilted her head towards her bag. I gave her a small nod in acknowledgement. When the woman brought Hayden back, they were dressed for a masquerade party, the woman dressed in red gown and Hayden dressed in cream colored gown. Hayden said something about getting her bag and the woman shushed her and whisked her off. Hayden looked desperately at me and I mimed "go". I talked to the man beside me and when I turned around, I saw the woman flying through the air dragging Hayden along. I, for whatever reason, was looking for shoes. And my left foot was bare and my right foot had a shoe on. It was then, that the zombies poured out of country club. I stood up and because my left foot was bare, I hopped instead. Another man was shouting at me to hurry and I hopped furiously across the vast fields where Hayden's bag was, and where the gun lay hidden. I was almost near the big umbrellas and a giant ditch appeared out of nowhere. I turned round and saw the zombies closing in fast. Then I made a big jump across the ditch (still one legged hop) and landed on the other side. Then I realized how silly hopping on one leg was in the current situation and placed my left foot on the cool grass. I gripped a shoe on my right hand (was that my left shoe I've been holding all along?!?!) and started bashing zombies with it. Slap this one, backhand that one. All the while slowly moving towards Hayden's bag. Then I realized the zombies weren't really attacking me. They fell onto the circles of belongings and searched them. The zombies were victims of our so called rescuers? Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

The Matrix dice game

I dreamt that I was competing with other people in a game where you roll dice and try to fulfill conditions of cards placed in front of all players. After your roll, you get projected into a game world (I will call this Matrix world) where you act on the results of that roll. I was to start first and as usual, rolled terribly. I suffered damage, as in real bodily harm, and then I experienced the Matrix world. I was in a Chinese restaurant where they were some triad members having dinner. The leader came up to me and I managed to calm him down, that I was not a threat. I remembered to eat the vegetable before the meat, which apparently was their secret code. I felt another player beam in nearby and I went to hide. Then I was out of Matrix to roll dice again. This time I rolled 4 ones. Matching one of the cards, the special ability of the card triggered and I could decide the result of my two other dice. And I chose them to be ones too. This gave me a huge point lead and I got transported into the Matrix world again. This time, I was in the city area. The sky rapidly grew dark and I saw city lights turning on. I went to hide behind a building and took photos of the tall buildings. For they were reddish orange glows not of illumination but hinting of armory forges. I was an agent from a secret organization sent to infiltrate this game. I took those photos and was about to send them when another player appeared near me. Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

Puzzle Skyscraper

I dreamt that I just came out of the elevator to a a new floor in a skyscraper. In this skyscraper, in order to get to the next floor, you have to solve the puzzle in the current floor. I wandered around and saw small model rooms and buildings displayed around this floor. All were made with a white plaster material. I went past a wall and saw a model room about a man's shoulder's width. I bent down and peered in. And found that if I moved my perspective, false walls disappeared and new parts appeared. Then I moved to a different wall and found another model room. I moved my head to get a better view and a small sign flashed by. I couldn't catch much of the words, but I did sense it was a warning sign. Then I noticed movement. There were model people in the room and as I looked closely, their faces were contorted in pain, their mouths open and their eyes wide. Then I got a flashback. In a previous floor, there was a puzzle with a wooden board and wooden wall panels on it. Colourful balls the size of billiard balls were in it. Some had symbols on it, some had numbers. If I solved the puzzle on the ball, it shifts position or disappears, allowing movement for the other balls. The flashback ended, and I realized I hadn't solved that billiard ball puzzle properly. Because if I did, I would have released the trapped people in that model room. A shiver ran down my entire body. Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

Junior College Infiltration

I dreamt that I was an undercover agent sent to infiltrate a junior college. The target was a male student, and I was to report on his activities. My cover was a teacher of his class. So I brought the whole class on a field camp trip. We arrived at a three storey building. Meals and activities on first floor, bunks on second and miscellaneous rooms on third. I got a room on the third floor. Through the first day, I supervised the camping events, while surreptitiously recording the activities of my target on my camera. My cover story was to keep a record of the class activities. First day came and went. The next morning, I heard knocking on my door. I woke up and found a female student outside. She told me several students had gone missing, one of whom was my target. I went to the second floor to investigate. I happened to glance out the window and I saw about ten male students line up in a row out in the field, their white shirt hiked up and dark blue trousers down, urinating into the drain. I sent a few male students out to get them, and set the rest to work on breakfast. Then I checked on my camera. "Check the rabbit." a deep male voice said. I whirled about but didn't see anyone near me. I checked the video footage again and found a rabbit graffiti on the wall. As I zoomed in, the rabbit changed poses. And continued to change poses as I zoomed further in, until it changed back to its original pose. Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

Team trap race

I dreamt that I was with three other people in an aquatic tourist attraction. The four of us were a team pitted against other teams of four. The first test was to move across a pool on stepping stones. But there was a circular symbol on the stone. If you touched any part of the stone that's not the symbol, the stone starts sinking. And the stones were placed just far enough apart that you'd need a running start and jump quickly to retain your momentum. An opposing team member started running and jumped. But he failed to land properly and the stone started sinking. He jumped for the next stone but fumbled and fell into the pool. My team had already started across the pool. And one of my members fell into the waters. I jumped right in. Underwater, I found the opposing team member become chased by a torpedo shaped shark. I gathered my own team member behind me and we hid behind a pillar, playing hide and seek with the shark. On a hunch when the shark couldn't see me, I launched myself towards the edge of the pool, pulling my team member along. The shark gave chase and then attacked the opposing team member. When I was reaching the edge of the pool, I sensed the torpedo shark behind me. I launched myself clear off the water, did a forward flip, and hooked my foot right where the shark was clamping down its jaws on my foot. With my forward flip momentum, and the shark's momentum, I hooked the shark up and over and out of the pool. I lay on the edge of the pool, panting for breath. Flash memory: I was standing in a quiet part of the park. In front of me was a small hill, with a concave hole cut into it to conceal a maintenance room. Just then, three black crows the size of giant swans flew and crashed into the walls beside me. They shook their feathers and looked at me. Then the wind picked up and storm clouds gathered, as I raised my face to the sky and shouted, "This was not what I asked for!" End flash memory. I was going to the cafeteria to meet my team members to discuss strategy. They had bought tons of groceries. There was a green apple on my seat. I took it and placed it into the bag of apples, amidst the other bags of nuts and fruits. We prepared ourselves and the next leg of the race started. I was on the road with my team. Another team had already started running. I jogged for a bit and then dropped down on all fours, running in a form that's a mix between a cheetah, monkey and spider. When I reached a big junction on the road, the other team split off to the right and I carried on straight ahead. I saw a shortcut and veered left. As I did so, the world slowed down as if I did something unexpected and the world was trying to keep up. Then everything righted itself and time flowed normally again. I loped up a sloping road and then had to stand up, for there was a narrow opening blocked by foliage. I pushed aside the branches and there was a smell of spice and incense in the air. On my right was an immense temple. In front of me, was a stone catwalk with no hand rails and a long drop to the ground below. I started walking across with my arms out for balance. I stepped on a stone symbol and it gave way and I fell... Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

The Future History Machine

I dreamt that I was an orphan and I was raised by a bar owner. He was kind and treated me well. I was cleaning the wall section near the ceiling, and somehow it got dirtier the more I scrubbed with my wet cloth. The bar owner came in and I was afraid he'd think I was dirtying his bar. He just smiled. I was also bullied by both boys my age and by the bar patrons. The bar owner would comfort me and say, "Ignore them. They're snakes." Fast forward years ahead. I was walking down a pathway, with a gentle hill on my right. Soldiers were languishing around on the ground and on the hillside. "Fall in!" I shouted. Nobody moved. "Fall iiiiiiiiinn!" I shouted. And everyone sprang into action. There was a military band and I thought it would be cool if there was a flame guitarist. The mission was to recover something called the Future History Machine. Any event you put into it becomes true. But once your life is entered this way, any event that happens to you must be recorded by the machine. Otherwise the machine makes up events that will happen to you, and they are never pleasant. Men and women had been destroyed by this machine. We stormed the enemy building and found the machine. It looked like a giant typewriter, about the size of a basketball court. Before we could move it, snakes appeared and attacked my troops. One snake slithered towards me and sprang at my crotch. I caught it near the head with my right hand and squeezed hard. Using both my hands I proceeded to strangle the snake. After a while, the snake started to shake and jerk. Then my alarm clock rang.

[orcasquall]

Exploder vs Regenerator

I dreamt that I was in a military training base on an island. I was in a training shack and opened the wooden door and arrows pierced through the door. I retreated into the shack. I was wondering what to do next when I heard voices from the other exit. Hiding behind a pillar, I saw a man and a teenager girl outside. Then the man motioned the girl in. I took cover behind a low staircase and to my dismay, the girl headed straight for me. I readied my umbrella gun to tranquilizer mode (Kingsmen anyone?). When the girl appeared before me, I shot her. The man has gone upstairs to explore, and after a while came back down. When he appeared before me, he was just a little too far (I was hoping he'd be closer so I don't have to shoot him). I threw my umbrella gun at him, the sharp end plunging into his heart. He was shocked. I took the opportunity to rush up and fire another tranquilizer dart into him. He fell. I was there on the island to fight my nemesis. He explodes things. I regenerate. Just then I heard another man's voice outside the shack, and moving closer. I rolled under a table and aimed my umbrella gun at the exit. When the man appeared near the girl, I shot him. Before I could investigate who the girl was, my alarm clock rang.

[orcasquall]

Escape from arctic military base

I dreamt that I was part of a recon team sent to an enemy arctic military base camp to collect intel. Upon arrival, the captain ordered me to go to the archives located elsewhere while he and another four members head towards the HQ. I went to the archives and found the doors to be unlocked. I unhooked the lock and fitted in the keys I was suppose to use. Holding the key-lock improvised weapon, I opened the doors and entered. Moving through the shelves, I heard a scuffle of boots and hid down below a table. A young woman passed by and then knelt down and saw me. I stood up. "Who are you? Are you authorized to be here?" I improvised. The woman didn't answer, but I heard a scuffle of boots beside me and saw two men charging towards me. I slashed the key part of my weapon across the face of one of them, and in the same motion jerked my hand back to hit the other side of his face with the lock end. Then I stamped my heel into the foot of the other man. Then I punched the woman unconscious. I gathered the intel I was looking for and left the archives to look for my captain. Upon reaching the HQ, two of my team members rushed up. "The captain and two others are dead! There's a monster in there. We're the only ones left." Oh great, I'm the ranking officer. We needed to sneak into the HQ to call for help and to release the doors to the transport facility so we could get an escape vehicle. While in the HQ, I motioned one of my members to go into one of the offices to call for help. The other guy would be a lookout and I would make a distraction. The first time was a failure. One of enemy officers saw me and raised the alarm. Then I spawned back to just before this part of the mission started. (I was in a freaking game!) After a couple of tries, we got our message out and there will be a pickup. We just needed to get to the pickup spot. I managed to get hold of a white pickup truck (really, dream? Puns within yourself?). I was to follow a military car without being spotted. I drove carefully and then the car sped up. I rammed the accelerator and we rushed forwards. There was a scream and Felicia Day fell into our pickup truck (don't ask...). I was then to race against time and pushed past through a massive traffic jam of vehicles before our pursuers caught us (HQ got alerted). After a few tries (the game respawned us), I finally got us through. But the enemy military car was waiting for us. Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

Advisor for love

I dreamt that I was hired by a young man with his love problem. Romeo (as I'll call him) liked this young woman, Juliet (as I'll call her), but another man was also wooing her. Fitch (as I'll call the love rival) was older, wealthier and had been pursuing Juliet in earnest with flowers and gifts. So I told Romeo to meet with Juliet at her house. Romeo and I were waiting at the porch, and I was calming his nerves. I told him to keep talking with Juliet. I would be close by. Just then, I felt a chill run through my body. And in the distance, I saw Fitch walking down the path towards us. I told Romeo to get Juliet to sit with him at the patio, which was in plain sight so that Fitch could see them. Then I ran to behind a nearby wall to hide. There was a small hole in the wall, and I could just see Romeo and Juliet talking with each other. Then I saw Fitch walk by. And he continued walking. Then he walked past the wall I was hiding behind. I held my breath and hugged the wall. He turned his head slowly and there were a few seconds where he pretended he didn't see me and I pretended that he didn't see me. He walked past another wall and as he was going to disappear from view, I ran up towards him. But Fitch was gone. In his place stood an old woman with grey hair and black robes. I narrowed my eyes and said, "Witch." I backed up towards Romeo and Juliet and told them to go into the house. The witch appeared from behind the wall and threw a cackling ball of energy at me. I brought up an energy shield with my hands and swiped the ball away. And in the same motion brought a bolt of lightning down on the witch. The battle continued with crackling fire, freezing ice and unseen forces flying around. Then the witch brought both her hands together and flung a stream of purple sickly wave of energy towards me. I pointed my right hand at the witch and a stream of coruscating colours flew out and met the purple wave. Then I woke up.

[orcasquall]

A demon's board game

I dreamt that I was in a game shop. I wandered over to a table where two young men were talking with the shop owner. There was a board game already opened and I wasn't sure if it was played or just had pieces laid out. The two men left and the shop owner looked at me. He had short blond hair and a day's shadow of mustache and beard. He squinted his eyes at me and smiled. "I'm closing the shop." he said. As he packed the board game, one of the red dice fell on the table and rolled. And rolled around. And rolled around. It seemed like it was fighting the laws of physics and defying forces and momentum. I left the shop with the owner and was wearing my shoes (why did I take off my shoes?) and the owner gave me another smile. "Wait, I met you at the other party! I'm sorry I don't remember your name." I said. "It's ok. I remember you. And a lot of people don't remember my name. It's Ray." he said. I followed Ray through the streets while he carried the box containing the board game pieces. Then he entered a shophouse and I followed him up to the second floor. "What is this place?" I asked. "It was owned by a weird man. He formed this company and did some weird research into the occult." Ray said. "This was one of the results." Ray pointed at the board game box he placed on the table. I was sifting through some papers on the table and found the word "demon" used repeatedly. There was a chug-chug noise and I looked up. Ray was switching on a machine that looked like a mash between a lawn mower and a life support machine with an exposed car engine. Then a red viscous liquid bubbled into a transparent tube attached to the top of the machine. "Ray! Does it say 'Do Not Touch' on the machine?" Just then, we heard the shophouse shutters slamming down and my alarm clock rang.

[fuiru]

“One of my favourite Steve Jobs stories was the time the engineers working on the iPod brought their finished prototype to him in his office. He said it was too big, they needed to make it smaller. They said it was as small as they could make it, it couldn’t be made any smaller. So he took the prototype over to his aquarium and dropped it in. The iPod sank to the bottom, and as it did, tiny little bubbles came out. ‘See those bubbles,’ he asked. ‘They’re air inside the iPod. Make it smaller.’

“Another story about Steve Jobs was when they brought the prototype for the iPad 2 to his office. The engineers told him it was faster than the first iPad. He took it over to his aquarium and dropped it in. ‘Look how slowly it sank,’ he told them. ‘Make it faster.’

“One time a newly hired intern had been sent out to get Steve a sandwich. When she brought it to him, he looked at it. ‘I thought I ordered the beef on rye,’ he asked. She told him it was indeed beef on rye. He took it over to his fish tank and dropped it in. ‘Does that look like beef on rye?’

“He was always dropping things in that fish tank. We couldn’t stop him. We told him he had to stop, he wouldn’t listen. It was full of stuff that shouldn’t be in an aquarium.

“The fish had all died years ago. One had been crushed under an early generation iMac. The others were all poisoned. He didn’t care.

“It got to the point where there was no room for anything in the fish tank. When we emptied it after he died, we found a body in there. We never found out who it was.”

[orcasquall]

Escape through Egyptian tomb of fire and ice

I dreamt that I was running past walls of Egyptian hieroglyphics and then stood panting at an opening into a rocky cavern. There were sounds of running footsteps behind me and I ran into the cavern.

On my left, a slowly flowing river of lava gave off waves of heat. The cavern had no visible source of illumination yet there was a reddish hue of ambient light.

I snuck behind some rock pillars just as two black hooded ninjas ran past my hiding spot. Then I had a vision of a young Egyptian pharaoh running for his life, who kept looking back at his pursuers. He was also running past the same walls of Egyptian hieroglyphics I did.

He wore a gold pendant encasing a blue jewel, which bounced off his bare chest as he ran. The scene sped up and the pharaoh stood before a circular opening just large enough for a man to squeeze through. He went in head first.

The pharaoh slipped and slid downwards. The tunnel resembled the esophagus of some giant, and I was watching a cross section of the tunnel with him sliding down. Then the gold pendant caught on the tunnel roof and it snapped apart and the blue jewel burst into light…

And I came back to myself in the cavern. I went further in and then heard sounds of footsteps from another part of the cavern. “It’s us!” a woman said.

I moved some rock plates away and they squeezed through. A party of five women stood before me.

“We came to look for you and help you. The rest of us are making our way in.” she said.

The “rest of us” comprised entirely of women and children. They were weary and I told them to make camp.

“Mister! Watch this!” A little girl skated on a vein of ice on the cavern floor (don’t ask me where the ice came from…) and then shifted into a spin that was so fast she blurred. Then she slowed down into a ballet pirouette and then stopped. I laughed and clapped and she bowed and then ran off to join her friends.

I joined two other women at a fire pit. “What use are you to us?” One of the women said, unhappy that I’m (seemingly) the leader. “I can do this.”

Then she conjured a small sphere of fire floating on her palm. She narrowed her eyes at me. Then I raised my right hand and conjured up a bigger fire sphere. Then I conjured an even bigger fire sphere with molten lava floating inside the fire sphere. Then I froze that into a hovering ball of ice with mist spilling over it.

Her eyebrows went up. Then she narrowed her eyes. “You are welcome to join me in my tent.” she invited. “I think I’m better off sleeping alone.” I replied. She shrugged and left.

The other woman at the fire pit then said, “You should tell all of them to wash their clothes and turn them inside out. Then we won’t smell.”

“Why don’t you tell them?” I asked. “I’m not even one of you. They’d listen to you.” She shrugged.

Then the sound of a woman screaming pierced the cavern air just as my alarm clock rang.

[orcasquall]

Tax-abiding Amazons and their meat spider problem

I dreamt that I was standing in front of an apartment door along a long corridor. I knocked on the door and a woman with shoulder length blonde hair and piercing blue eyes opened the door. She was also dressed in chain mail and hefting a battle axe on her shoulder. I glanced at my brother with a raised eyebrow. The call centre received a help request about the software and dispatched my brother and me to resolve it. I would be the technical guy and my brother would be the management guy. Another Amazon warrior joined her fellow sister warrior at the door, looking menacingly at me. "I'm from the call centre. You have a software problem?" I gulped. They opened the door and let us in. My brother went to settle the paperwork with one of the Amazons while I settled myself in front of their computer. The Amazons were filing their taxes but the numbers don't seem to add up and some of the details were missing. After some time, I found the solution. I just needed to add a database table to store the detail transaction records and then sum them up and store that in another table. That makes it easier to spot the missing transaction records (which I'm surprised you're still following along my technical explanation). The Amazons were ecstatic that their problem was solved. Then another Amazon warrior (brunette, long sword) came in and informed that the beast was back. They asked us to accompany them further into their home and a great battle pit loomed in front of me. The pit was circular and about 30 stories high. Hundreds of Amazon warriors crowded each other at every floor (their apartments apparently were all linked to this). We were at perhaps ten stories above the pit's ground floor. In the centre of the pit was a giant ladder. It was about 15 stories high and wide enough to fit in 2 cars lengthwise. "Please help us," the blonde Amazon warrior asked. My brother and I went to the ladder structure. Then a high pitched bellow sounded from one of the entrances and a giant spider barged in. I call it a spider but only because it had eight legs and was scuttling along on all of them. But the body resembled something more like a Resident Evil boss: grotesque, slimy, pus-filled and exposed flesh. My brother and I scrambled up the ladder. Then I came up with the strategy of luring the spider to charge and at the last second, dodge to one side. I would climb the ladder rungs, wait for the spider to charge up, then move to the side. While the spider was stabilising itself, I would slide down the ladder to the ground and lure it there, thereby doing a lure-up-lure-down move. But this wouldn't kill it. And on the third cycle of this lure tactic, two 4-pointed shurikens lay at the bottom of the ladder. I looked to the side and the blonde Amazon smiled and gave me a wink. I grabbed one of the shurikens and threw it unerringly at the spider and struck. A bestial cry erupted from its maw and it scuttled back down towards me. I scrambled up the ladder to evade. When I came down again, there were another two shurikens, one on the ground and one lying on top of one of the ladder rungs. After another few cycles of this lure slash shuriken throw move, I was tired (you try climbing a 15 story high ladder a few times). My brother was still hanging at the top of the ladder trying to lure and evade the spider. This time I moved quickly to the bottom and before the spider could turn around and chase me, I threw the first shuriken. Then I threw the second shuriken in succession. The spider gave a final bloodcurdling monstrous cry, just as my alarm clock rang.

[best-of-memes]

[orcasquall]

A puzzling housewarming party

I dreamt that I just came out of the elevator into a long grey corridor. At the end of that corridor, my friend was busy sawing planks. When he saw me, he smiled and motioned me to enter his house on my right. As I walked through the door, I saw pieces of planks still covered in sawdust scattered at the entrance. "Leave it!" he said. "Go have fun! I'll be right there." I looked around in what was supposed to be the living room. But it resembled a kitchen and a war zone. My friend's wife was sitting on the sofa making cupcake batter, her face smudged with flour. She smiled at me and motioned me to go further into the house. Their house appeared to be just a series of rooms joined together in a long line. Then I had a déjà vu moment where I remembered being in a similarly structured house but it was a crime scene. In the next room, there was a cake caterer. I looked at the display and my eyes locked onto a piece of chocolate cake. "I'll have two of that," I said, taking out two pieces of glowing gold coins. "That's actually 50 shins." the man replied. I put the glowing gold coins back into my wallet and took out a $50 note. "That's too much," he said, taking the dollar note. "I'll be right back." So I went into the next room. My friend Gandalf was staring at a small protrusion on the right wall. It was about a basketball higher than where a basketball hoop would have been. And it is a small spherical nub at the end of a stick. The stick was about the diameter of a wrist and about a handspan long. I patted Gandalf on his shoulder. Then I took out a $10 note and ran towards the wall. Then I jumped up and ran up the wall. At the height of my ascent, time slowed down and I draped the $10 note over the stick. Then I dropped down. Nothing happened. I tried again with a $5 note. Still nothing happened. Then I took out a 50 cent coin and did the move again, balancing the coin precariously near the spherical nub. This time when I looked at the profusion, it became the left arm of a statue. A piece of checkered cloth was covering the entire arm, exposing only the hand. I ran up the wall and examined the arm. I heard a crinkling sound when I touched the cloth near the arm pit. Then I grabbed the cloth and pulled it away. And five circular discs fell out. "The [somethingimportant]!", Gandalf cried out. I didn't hear what he said, but it had something to do with the sun, the moon and the stars. He grabbed the discs and went to another wall where a grotesque face mask was hung. Below the mask were five circular slots, arranged in a vertical line. Gandalf inserted the discs in an order that I couldn't understand. Then a hidden door opened, and Gandalf and I went in another room. This time there were children playing. The television was switched on and a puzzle show was going to be aired. The children sat down in front of the television. I moved to in front of the children and Gandalf moved to sit beside me on my right. Then I motioned him to come closer because he was blocking the view to the children. The show started, and the show host pointed at me, "Use your teleporter." If Gandalf couldn't solve the puzzle, I was to use the teleporter to teleport the children, one by one, till he solved it. It was to teach him to value human beings or something. He failed to answer correctly. I was going to to use my teleporter when my alarm clock rang.

[orcasquall]

True fighting is not about knocking an opponent down. It's about getting back up, every single time.

Eddy Khidzer

[orcasquall]

"I put the 'awe' in 'author'."

Mamrie Hart