My pseudo is Aki and as of 07.11.22 I am opening my first blog along with a few other social platforms which are all linked in my carrd.
Please read my rules !
Masterlist will be updated as I go ♡ [leads to my tumblr app list, not my tumblr cite list]
I have a café theme with both a pastel yet dark aesthetic. My theme may change from time to time but I'll be doing my best to stick to one for while.
Few things to know about me:
I love different aesthetics and minimalism, which may show across all my platforms. I may post more on a different platform than others. This depends on how comfortable I am with said platform and how much access I have to it through out the day. I am nowhere near consistent when it comes to posting and creating a schedule. If you wish to no more feel free to ask.
If you would like to check out my other platforms, feel free to do so here:
Bang Chan x Male Reader
≫ Synopsis: Being a trainee wasn't easy, but his promise held you and brought you the motivation to keep going. But why was his promise the exact thing that shattered your heart?
≫ Notice: Angsty? Brief mentions of suicide.
≫ Note: Please reblog + like, it'll help a lot ! Commenting also helps, thank you =) Part 1
It didn't take long for me to debut after transferring to Hybe. Being placed into a group and getting to know my new mates was something I didn't think I could do without you by my side. I always visioned you right here, next to me, yet you're so far. I was assigned as the leader to my group which is known as Eclipse. It's been almost 2 years and now these boys are what we used to be, family.
Promotions, fan meets, practice, and so much work to do but it's not enough. Not enough for me to feel okay again. Why? Isn't it selfish? You moved on so why can't I? The person who my reflection shows seems so happy. He's beautiful and is living out his dream. Yet why is my heart so numb? I want to be him. I want to feel happy. I want this numbing sensation to go away. Maybe one day.
⟪ time skip - during an interview ⟫
"Ah, well you boys have been working hard, how does it feel to finally catch a break?" The mc asked and I noticed how Chanyeol, our maknae, was quick to answer. A small smile made its way on my face as I couldn't help but admire the four boys seated besides me. Haneul was quick to step in and tease Chanyeol, as he went on a mini tangent, yet it was all white noise to me.
"..M/n?"
"...M/n?"
A tap on my arm brought me back to reality as I quickly bowed and let out a string of apologies. Jiwon shot me a worried glance but I gently held Minjun's hand to let him know I was fine. I knew the boys just wanted to make sure I was okay but I didn't want to worry them further.
"Sorry, could you repeat the question again?" I softly asked the mc as she blushed lightly and nodded. ``of course! You used to be a trainee at JYP before transferring to Hybe. Was there a specific reason you transferred or was there something else?" I couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the irony of this situation. You and the rest of Stray Kids sitting by a corner watching the interview on the sidelines, as your group had to record an interview right after our group.
"I'll share briefly, though I do ask for you all to leave the situation at ease after this. Leaving JYP was my choice and in the end that choice is why I'm standing here today. Well sitting, but you know what I mean." I softly chuckle as I let go of Minjun's hand. "When I was a trainee at JYP, there was someone special to me. They stopped me from giving up and in the moments when I couldn't get up, they held me until I regained strength to do so. So me being here is thanks to them as well."
Clearing my throat, I made eye contact with you. Bang Chan. Why can't I ever escape you? "They were my pillar. When I had nothing, I at least had them...and that was enough. Enough for me because they made me feel normal. Made me feel safe. Secure. Happy. Life happens. Promises are broken. And I couldn't live knowing that I was a mere memory of theirs. So I left. Left who I was with them. Because no matter how much I tried to be the same, I knew who I was back then and just wanted to stay by their side. And I'm at peace with that. Because at least I know m/n, the trainee of JYP, is safe with them."
Looking back at the mc, I noticed how somber she looked. Yet all I could do was smile. Smile because I didn't want the pity. I didn't want the resentment. The guilt. The numbness. I just wanted to move on.
⟪ time skip - a month later ⟫
How unfair could life be? How mean and suffocating could it be? All we want, could it be too much? The sacrifices one makes, would it ever be able to be enough or would one need to do the unthinkable. News outlets, dispatch, articles, and more were all over it.
"BREAKING NEWS: L/N M/N TOOK HIS OWN LIFE"
"L/N M/N of Eclipse committed suicide"
"KPOP IDOL TOOK HIS OWN LIFE"
"ECLIPSE AND LUNARS GRIEVING GROUPS LEADER M/N DEATH"
It was everywhere. Chan couldn't escape it. It couldn't be real right? You HAD to be fine. You couldn't be gone. You and him. Him and you. Together. He was there, he promised to always be there. Even if you were miles apart, he was there, right? Why? Why did you have to be gone. Hybe released a statement and all of Hybe artists are still trying to wrap their heads around the news. You were fine. You were fine so why aren't you here anymore? Chan wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. To hug you. He just wanted you back and Stray Kids could only watch as he slowly broke down.
"I'll never leave you behind," he whispered as he stared at a photo of you, "but I think we both broke that promise differently. I'm so sorry, m/n" he cried out. "I'm so sorry" Chan couldn't bear this pain. The pain of losing someone he loved forever. The thought of never being able to see you broke him. Life is unfair. Life is mean. It's cruel. But maybe, I was too.
Bang Chan x Male Reader
≫ Synopsis: Being a trainee wasn't easy, but his promise held you and brought you the motivation to keep going. But why was his promise the exact thing that shattered your heart?
≫ Notice: N/A
≫ Note: Please reblog + like, it'll help a lot ! Part 2
Stopping your education and chasing your dream wasn't easy. Fights, disagreements, tears, and more obstacles to go through yet you have to stay strong. Find something to keep you motivated and strong because chasing your dreams is never an easy path. Giving up? It's always an option but one you never want to choose unless you're in desperate need of saving because the journey to make your dream a reality was drowning you and quitting was the only way you could have a breath of air.
He was your anchor. He kept you from drowning and allowed you to get as much air as you needed. He knew how hard it was as he also continued to stay afloat. He kept you at ease and when you showed signs of struggle he was quick to aid you. And in return you would always aid him.
"No matter how hard this may be, I'll be here with you. Together we will debut and I'll never leave you behind. "
"Do you promise? "
"I promise"
Your words linger in my mind, your voice, a mere whisper that is lost with the wind. I held onto your words so dearly. It was the antidote to the toxins that all these obstacles contaminated me with. I wanted so desperately for it to heal me but I realized too late that it was never an antidote but poison in disguise. Poison. You poisoned me without trying to. Without realizing you did. And that's what hurts most.
There you stood with your new group. They're the ones you debuted with. They're the ones you'll never leave. The radiant smile you wear keeps me thinking if I'll ever be on the receiving end of it again. Will you ever turn my way? Will you ever see me? Need me? Will you ever remember me? Or have you forgotten me that easily?
" ...Together we will debut.." the words slipped through my lips and yet I couldn't hear myself. Maybe it was because you finally looked at me. After weeks of my presence not being noticed, you finally see me. "..And I'll never leave you behind." The last bit of words I breathed out as I looked into your eyes. Your group standing next and behind you. They don't know me the way you used to. The confusion in their eyes as the world around me continues to move on and yet here I stand in front of you, stuck in the past. "Chan, Do you know him?" "What's he talking about, Chan?" A dark haired boy asks along with a light haired boy with freckles decorating his cheeks.
Ah, what are their names again? Helix? Bunny? Ah, right. Changbin and Felix. Do you know me? So much has changed since the last time you stood by me. Do you know me? Or do you know who I used to be? Do you know me? Or only me from your memories? I want to know and yet I already know, don't I?
"Ah-.." hesitance in your voice. You no longer were in JYP Ent. You transferred to Hybe Corp. as you couldn't achieve your dreams when he continues to haunt you involuntarily. You wanted to say a proper goodbye. You wanted closure but somehow it felt so far. You're about to speak again but before a sound can make its way out, my new manager says, "m/n, it's time to go. Make sure to mask up before we exit the building." His voice rang out and brought me back to reality.
"I see, thank you for coming to get me. Give me a quick minute, please." I looked at my manager for a response and turned back towards you once he gave me a simple nod. I can see the confusion and hesitance spiraling in your eyes. I had so many things to say but all the words bundled up in my throat. Swallowing the bundle of nerves, all I could do was bow in respect to you. And to keep myself from crying, knowing if I continued to look at you, the tears would fall with no end.
"Thank you and congratulations. I'll continue to support you but this time it won't be from beside you. It'll be from afar." Slowly taking a breath to stabilize myself as I can feel the shakiness to my voice. "You deserve this more than anyone and.." my voice cracked as tears slowly started to fall. "...even if you left me behind, I'll always be your biggest stay. I wish you nothing but the best so please, never give up and remember that you already are and will continue to be the best leader I know. Goodbye....Christopher..." without a second further I stood up straight and quickly turned and walked down the hall. And yet all I could see as I turned the corner, was you standing there with your group mates.
That was the last day I saw you face to face. The last time we spoke. The last of who I once was. The silly boy who would joke around with you. The boy who would reach out to you. A fragment of who I was is still with me but most of who I was, stayed with you. The antidote I thought I drank was nothing but poison and it killed who I was. Now, I'm someone new. Someone who I couldn't recognize in the mirror. It took a while getting used to but slowly I came to live as the person who my reflection showed. This is now who I am.
Updating as I write 🌸
This list is linked in my tumblr introduction, on my other cites, my tumblr website master list is linked instead.
M - mature / nsfw content
A - angst content
E - sfw content
Bang Chan x Male Reader
≫ Synopsis: After a long day of practice, Bang Chan starts a V-Live to spend some time with stays. An hour into the V-Live, you walk in and as time progresses you notice how tired and tensed Chan is. Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you end the V-Live and get to work.
≫ Notice: sub-bottom Chan/ dom-top reader, pet names, dry humping, safe and soft sex, stomach bulge, slight mentions of a handjob
Practice. Practice. Practice. It seemed to be the only thing on his mind the whole day but nearing such a late end to his day, exhaustion filled his body. Still no ounce of sleep filled his mind, so he took out his camera and started a V-Live. Stays have a place in Chan’s heart and spending some time with them is something he needed.
⟪ time skip - Reader's POV ⟫
Making my way to Chan, I slip into the room quietly and can’t help but smile as he is happily talking to stays. “Hey Channie” I say and sit next to him, ruffling his hair and he lays his head on my shoulder. “Hi m/n” he says and continues to interact with stays. Throughout the V-Live I pitch in every once in a while but mainly focus on the soft music that is being played in the background.
As time progresses, I notice how Chan is slightly slurring his words and how every once in a while he jolts up a bit. Taking this in, I gently massage his hands and wrists to take off some of the tension built up from practice. “Mmm..thank you…” mumbled Chan. Letting out a soft chuckle I smile up to the camera, “hey guys, I’m going to end the V-Live here for Chan. Sorry for cutting it short but we’ll see you soon. Bye stays and stay safe” I state as I sign off.
⟪ time skip - 3rd POV ⟫
In your room, you watched as Chan laid on your bed as you went in after him, gently wrapping your arms around his waist. “Love, you shouldn’t overwork yourself” you say as you softly place a kiss on his neck. He quietly mumbled but none of it reached your ears properly as he buried his face into your pillows. “I'm taking care of you tonight, letting out all the tension from your body, alright?” you said as you undid his pants. Hearing him sigh, a chuckle escaped your lips and you wrapped your hand around his dick. Slowly moving your hand down his shaft, you feel Chan start to rut his hips against yours. Soft moans escaping his lips as you make your way to his hole. “That’s right, baby boy. Let it all out” you whisper into his ear.
⟪ small time skip ⟫
Whimpers and moans were heard around the room. Chan was withering under you as he continue to move his hips against yours for more pleasure. Your hands continued to move against his member as you whisper sweet nothings into his ear. Moving your hand to his throbbing hole, teasing his entrance you wasted no time in adding one finger. "mmm...don't tease me please.." Chan whined. "Just want you prepped properly so you don't get hurt" you whispered back.
Moving your finger, you add another and slightly graze them on a bundle of nerves causing a small squeal to escape Chan's lips. Scissoring a bit and then adding one more finger and using your other hand to gently tease his tip and spread more of his pre-cum even more. "I'm ready..no more just...please" Chan whined, wanting you to fuck him already. Needing the pleasure you give him and the warmth you provide. "Of course, love. Everything for you." you said as you gently take your member out and instead of teasing his entrance as you normally would, you opted to slowly push your member into his throbbing hole.
Pushing past the rim of muscle, a groan escapes your lips. "Damn, still so tight after all the prep work." A high pitched moan pushed passed Chan's lips as he instantly gripped onto your wrist. Feeling you bottom out, all he wanted was for more of you. Chan quivered as he felt your slow thrusts, his mind blanking from how full he feels. "m/n, ah.. you're so d-deep..ngh... i can feel you in my stomach..hah"
Squelching noises, moans, squeals every once in a while were heard in the room. You didn't mind doing all the work, after all, you wanted to take care of him. Not wasting any time, you pressed your hand gently on the bulge that is showing with every thrust you take. Pushing Chan over the edge as he came and a loud moan came out of him. "MNGH.! ah.. m/n..crap please...in me.." gibberish came out of his mouth but you understood exactly what he wanted. He squeezed around you tightly as you bit his neck softly and released inside him. A muffled moan came from you as you continued to ride out both your highs.
"gosh, i love you so much pretty boy" you whispered to his ear and gently took your member out. not wanting to over stimulate him any more. "m/n, i love you too....thank you, love" Chan slurred his words as sleep slowly started to wash over him. "love you so much" he slurred again causing you to chuckle and peck his lips. "Sleep, I've got you baby boy. you deserve it" you reassured him. Cleaning and changing both, Chan and yourself, you covered both of you with the comforter and kissed the top of his head lovingly. Chan fell asleep cuddled close to you and slowly you followed suit.
