𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂 ; at least , that’s what mary jane had learned through a painful sway into her young adulthood . harry had been mj’s first love , she let their relationship be founded on youthful hopes . hopes that if she had another man in her life , one that wasn’t her father — she’d find the validation she always begged for , but that was mary jane’s curse . a little mary jane would always be looking for that broken piece , even if it were toxic , even if it were bad for her ; it was comfortable , her normal . the only reason they’d played these games for so long was because when harry was good . everything was good . harry gave her his passion , the things they wrote movies about . there was a flicker of fire that would forever stay between them and mj wanted so badly to make it last . fought tooth and nail to keep the boy in her clutches , because she carried their hope that they’d figured it out eventually .
the looming death of their friend that was the inevitable close to their chapter , from the secret identities and double lives . mj had kept things to herself , bit the forbidden fruit and vowed herself to secrecy for harry’s sake . she knew better than anyone that harry wouldn’t be able to handle the truth of peter’s identity . the truth of gwen stacy’s death .
this was a good night , not one that had been ruined by bickering or their passion . they’re tucked tightly into the corner of harry’s pricey sectional , heels were kicked off at the end of the couch . mary jane could do this forever . crimson colored drink is swished in curved glass , empty hand had managed it’s way to harry’s thigh . they didn’t say anything , didn’t have to . a gentle touch would say any and everything ; you smell great , come closer . . . kiss me , please .
finally ! ❝ hey , stranger . ❞ , girl takes her chance , rearranging her position on the couch , glass hits the coffee table as she trudges closer to harry . his graze pulls her in , teases mary jane with what they could have . red head moves to her hands and knees , removing the space left between them . mj looked at harry as she knows he has the power here , plops down into the spot under harry’s shoulder as his hand cradles the other’s cheek . she digs into the touch , her gaze says one thing ; body another . lips are only a few inches away from the other’s , a hitch of breath stuck between her grin and harry’s lips .
we need to talk . it’s an instant buzzkill , drones out any thought she had before . talk ? about what ? why ? weren’t things going smoothly ? did her hair look bad ? mj pulls herself from the other , reaching for some kind of answer within harry . boy looks serious , upset about something she can’t quite pinpoint . mary jane doesn’t like this , doesn’t like unanswered questions ; doesn’t like feeling like she’s the problem .
❝ okay . . . we can talk — did i do something ? what’s up ? ❞
she’s looking at him with those big brown eyes, darkened by the low lighting of harry’s living room, yet glittering from their reflection of the city’s skyscrapers. wide and unassuming, he grows distracted by the way her under-eyes puff as she smiles, crinkled corners conveying that last bit of genuine contentment he wishes they could rest in. when she exhales, a huff of air will prick at his thumb, her face so close to his that their breath blends together.
even after all these years, mary jane still makes his heart race. she does it with ease, unmatched in her ability to allure him, and armed with a power over the boy no other person holds. she could bring him to his knees, and she almost does — he almost falls for the spell, a sudden yearning to backtrack, to say it was nothing and leave it be. to let it rest. to kiss her slowly, tenderly, tasting cherry lip gloss instead of betrayal ; sweetener instead of the sour bite of defeat. to let a night with mary jane stay untouched by his temper, unblemished by their passion. but he isn’t the nice guy — he isn’t her prince charming. he’ll never be the better man, and there’s no use in pretending to be something he’s not.
he drops his hand from her face, backing away on the couch as a form of restraint. harry removes himself from her entanglement, for if he doesn’t, he won’t go through with it. he’ll never confront her, and then he’ll fester in resentment for so long it’ll grow into hate, or blow up in their faces regardless of precaution. it’s better to do it now, whilst he still has some ounce of control over his frustration. “ it’s about peter ... spider-man, ” harry starts, the vigilante’s name cold on his tongue despite belonging to a man he’s always regarded as a brother. it’s a sniper shot in killing the mood, but harry can’t help himself. this is their fate. it doesn’t matter how many times he and mj have given this thing between them a fresh start — it would always circle back to peter parker.
he was a looming cloud in the sky long before the two got together, an innocent crush on the girl next door, wrecked by a friend who was seething with jealousy. peter had a family who loved him. he made perfect marks without trying, and he was everything harry worked so hard to resemble even a fraction of. but harry had his charm. he was rich, and confident, and as perfect as a ken doll. mary jane was someone peter wanted who harry could have, and so he did. of course, she became so much more than that. she’s harry’s one great love, the constant force of inconsistency he could rely on, through every cycle of make ups and break ups, good days and bad. though they exist in suspension — they’re passionate, but they aren’t good for each other. he loves her, but it isn’t in the right capacity. harry’s pretty to look at and fun to play with, but not much else. he can’t be the man she deserves — that’s where peter comes back in.
“ you knew for years, mj, you — ” you made me look stupid, you made me think we had something special. he shakes his head. “ why didn’t you tell me ? ” harry thinks he knows the answer ... she didn’t tell him, because her loyalty to peter couldn’t be wavered in the way her loyalty to harry could. peter held a different weight in her life — one of greater importance. if she could keep this from him for all these years, what else was he looking past ? he’s an ass for thinking he was anything more than a pastime amidst the months mary jane spent abstaining from peter ... for thinking their relationship could grow into anything more than it’s always been. for as long as peter’s alive, harry doesn’t stand a chance.
