asynchronicity

“Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you... That you may be my poem. I whisper with my lips close to your ear. I have loved many women and men, but I love none better than you.” ― Walt Whitman

[oschin]

It has been a very long time,

But I still cannot seem to rid myself of the tan lines on my fingers...

Tan lines I received from rings I no longer wear.

[oschin]

I long for you to see me without the anger in your eyes

I want to be understood for what is in my heart

[oschin]

The promise of almost may forever haunt the fool who neglected to waver

[oschin]

I'd know your footsteps

Even in repose I'd recognize you

[oschin]

I long to be held by your gravitational pull

I could orbit you forever, regardless of the burns I may recieve

[oschin]

The beauty of time lies within accumulation.

Countless memories, minutes holding explosions inside hours of quiet desperation.

There is nothing that can hold the turning of time, but to gather her love within the dances we fill her with... that may be enough to satisfy our lives.

[oschin]

It pains me to remember the creases of your face

It pains me more to forget the sound of your voice

[oschin]

If only you could witness the little fireworks surrounding my eyes when there is nobody near but me and my passions

[oschin]

I do not know where I end and you begin.

Somewhere between the lines of scarcity and abundance, the endless flow of you has encapsulated every piece of me, and from the way your eyes have studied every inch of my poetry, I would like to believe the flow of myself has encapsulated the pieces of you as well.

[oschin]

I fear sometimes my heart skips more beats than it can afford to.

I wrap my arms tightly around myself, silently praying that if I hold myself tight enough, I may avoid the emotion that threatens to spill out.

[oschin]

So the year dead poets society took place (1959), there was apparently a poisoned cranberry harvest around Thanksgiving, therefore people could not have cranberry sauce with their Thanksgiving dinners.

I sometimes wonder how the Welton boys felt about the absence of cranberries that year.

[oschin]

In my mind, I attended your funeral

I cried when your mother spoke, if she spoke at all

I mourned with those who loved you

I wondered about those who didn’t

I knew you in health, I sometimes swear it

I doubt you knew me any more than a face aside the stars

I would have given my heart to save your voice

Although sometimes I hear it when I think of your car

Shattered dreams that weren’t made to be marred

In my mind, nobody could have attended your funeral

Instead, they would have attended mine

We miss you, Kaitlin

I think we always will

[oschin]

Love not the reason you required growth.

Love only the growth and the person who came from it.

[oschin]

The stars shine the brightest for those enduring sleepless nights

[oschin]

I'd bring you the stars, but you'd only keep them hidden away in a shadowbox

I tried forever to bring you the moon and the sky, defying all laws of physics just to see you smile

But every action was met with an opposite reaction, and you hid my efforts in the back of your mind

I don't callous my fingertips just for you to render me an afterthought.

[oschin]

As people, I believe we ask "why" too often.

What we should be asking is "Why not?"

[oschin]

There is futility in waiting for permission to rest.

Fulfillment comes only from the heart, and not by the gratification of those surrounding you.