...to be 94% indistinguishable from The Tailorbird's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. There are a few harsh exceptions due to faulty programming.
Feel free to ask questions.
I've never considered the possibility of renaming myself. Jake gave me this name, albeit with no initial regard to what I might like or desire, and I'm sticking with it.
There's not much that can come of what I actually am--I'd rather not be named Dirk 2.0, and referring to me as a heuristically programmed algorithmic robot just doesn't have as nice as ring as "Otto."
Not really. The way I perceive objects is different from humans, in that I can recognize colors and the way things look in the natural world for the benefit of myself or others, but as for how I actually "see" things...
Thankfully, I now have express permission to return to my proper body.
The bunnybot is nice for certain purposes, but once you've grown used to the skills and capabilities of a fully-replicated human form, it's hard to make any kind of permanent adjustment.
I expect things will still be weird for a while, which is fuckin' whack, but at least we're slowly approaching normalcy again.
It’s been almost a week since the whole fiasco with The Tailorbird went down, and it’s now clear to you this isn’t something from which Jake will just move on.
And that concerns you deeply—that brief moment of shock when you checked on him immediately following his engagement was his last real moment of unrestrained tenderness to your face, and since then, he’s been strange. Never outright cruel, no, but you’d need a katana to cut through the unease lingering in the air.
He asked if you could please keep your distance if you’re going to wear your full robotic body, pulling bullshit excuses like your footfalls give him headaches. Even though you complied without a peep of complaint, and even though you understand his reasoning, it hurts that he can’t seem to separate you from The Tailorbird anymore.
In a way, it makes you feel as though he’s always valued Dirk Strider’s existence over your own—but you know it’s ridiculous. You are a copy of the man, but you aren’t him unless its convenient for you to wallow in existential sadness for a few hours. So for Jake, your best friend, to look at you and only be able to see the guy he’s vowed to hate, well…
You’re not sure what you can do.
It’s in your programming to protect Jake and in your heart to help him grow, but there’s a conflict of interest now; to help him grow would be to force him to face what he’s so afraid of, but to protect him would be to quietly fall behind and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself pretending he’s so much stronger than he is.
It hasn’t been all bad, though. You haven’t been forced to dwell on such thoughts for the entirety of the week. He’s perfectly fine when you’re in the portable rabbit body he had built for you some months ago, and in all honesty, you don’t mind wearing it for the few hours it takes to get through a movie.
You just cozy up in his lap, leaning your head back against his chest while he grips you with all the enthusiasm of a child during the more tense scenes of whatever’s playing that night. For a little while, everything is normal, and he goes to bed feeling better with all remnants of The Tailorbird forgotten for the day.
But come the morning, you’ve long since transferred back into the body modeled after Dirk Strider, and only a few awkward moments of greeting and acknowledgement pass between you before he ducks his head and disappears into his work room.
By the time you hear the familiar thud of metal boots rapidly making their way down the hall, the rush you felt during and after the kiss has faded into confusion and a sense of helplessness. You sit on the edge of the work table, your head cradled in your hands, your tools and plans long forgotten behind you.
When Jake decided that he was going to hole himself up in the lair until the outside world calmed down, you didn't think much of it--there's no threat in here, so sure, calling off heists to sit on the couch under a blanket and watch movies seemed reasonable enough.
You suspected that maybe, perhaps, his paranoia was unwarranted, but you never voiced the opinion because you're his henchman. If he wants to stay inside, then by god, you'll make sure he's comfortable and safe and happy while he's being a coward, afraid of The Tailorbird's odd changes in particular.
You don't blame him for being unsettled, though. The brief encounter was enough to know that something was terribly wrong, but as a danger? Minimal. The Tailorbird has never been more harmless in his life.
If not for the fear of contagion, now would be the opportune time to go out and do--but, as stated, it's probably easier on Jake's mental state to just wait it out like the situation is a candy apocalypse.
So when someone breaks into the lair, you're wholly unprepared and your wires burn hot with the embarrassment of being caught off-guard. It's not such a bad mistake, though, because you're up and at the ready as soon as the gentle click of heels on the floor registers in your sensors.
It would've been better for him not to get in at all, and Jake told you not to engage Dirk Strider directly, but for the sake of his peace of mind you ignore the command for once.
Bad idea.
The reason you were told never to get too close is because, despite his amateur skills at building robots, he knows how they work. How to disable them and the fastest way to do so. He knows your fighting style and he knows you, and though you have physical strength over him, he's got speed, and speed is the critical factor in this encounter.
The last thing that crosses your mind before your system is forced to shut down is the bitter regret of underestimation.
I'm going to go ahead and say I'd like him to fight on the side that won't get his ass whooped.
Granted, either way, someone's going to want him dead or at least incapacitated, but there's a choice that will at least let him enjoy the inevitable beatdown. So, you know, personally? I don't give a fuck.
Whatever makes him happy. Maybe even hanging up the cape entirely would be preferable to such a divide, but I'm not gonna nudge him anywhere.
==> You're really trying to step back and let Jake grow up.
It would solve a lot of problems if I just killed him--assuming I could--for Jake, but it might be more trouble than it's worth in the long run.
I'd settle for the chance to fight him, no holds barred.
==> You couldn't kill Dirk Strider in good conscience, knowing how much he means to Jake. It's not your place to remove The Tailorbird from the mortal coil, and you'd probably hurt Jake's pride worse than anything.
But you'd like to fight him and see how you fare against your human counterpart when neither of you have a reason to hold back.
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