Once upon a time, several months ago, OUAT had its series finale...and I basically let it pass without incident because I was dealing with graduating and the bar and such. So I decided to make a post on the anniversary of the first episode premiere.
Once upon a time, several hours ago, I got an email from the NY Bar association saying that I passed the bar exam.
I always said I would end up being released from my OUAT obligations once my school stuff was over like some kind of twinned curse and here we are, down to the day.
I wanna say thank you to everyone who sent in asks, and convos, and generally made running this blog fun, even when the show didn't. Special shout out to fullcirclecrazy who joined up later and made herself indispensable.
I feel like I should make some kind of happily ever after quip, but I don't think that's a concept people usually associate with being a lawyer (barring Robert in Enchanted I guess). So I hope life is treating y'all well. Hit me up at jq37 for strong opinions on non-OUAT things. And, you know. Be a good main character. Make some wild choices. Take a bus to Maine. Or whatever the non-crazy equivalent in your life is.
Yeah, the ending was a rushed mess. Then again, this whole season was a rushed mess, it was almost 3 whole seasons mushed into one, with a ton of plot lines, multiple villains (some more interesting that made we wish that we didn't waste time with the Tremaines) and no resolution to a lot of stuff (Ella and her family and Henry with Jack for example). And good lord time is broken in this show. Anyway, its over. Congrats on your graduation! Have a happy adventure!
I had a whole response to this typed up and then it got deleted and I got sucked into bar prep.Â
Anyway, to boil it down into two statements: You’re totally right and thanks!
*The finale was yesterday so here’s the obligatory essay I (JQ) wrote about it, as usual, for the last time.Â
So here's my problem with the finale--or specifically the last seven minutes or so of the finale because we'll be here all day if I start breaking everything down: there's a version of this show where this is a finale that (sorta) makes sense, but that's not the version of the show we've been watching.
To recap, here's how the OUAT finale ended: Regina got Wish!Henry to stop hating her through a heartfelt speech, Regina unites the realms and drops them all in Maine,Regina is voted in Queen of the United Realms of Storybrooke and coronated by Snow, Regina gives a last speech.
I'm going to break down my problems with this ending*:
*While doing my best to keep my personal beef out of this because I try to keep that on my main blog.
(1) First, and most glaringly in the way that I wrote that, it's such a Regina-centric ending. And, sure, Regina is a main character. A reasonable portion of the finale should have been hers. But almost the entire 7ish minutes? Really? Most finales spend the last few minutes popcorning around to shine the spotlight on every character one last time before maybe settling on one character or couple (like the Bones finale for example). OUAT instead spent almost all of the time on one character which felt super narratively unsatisfying considering there were so many other characters who were barely in this episode, especially the new characters they spent all season trying to make us care about.* What was the point if they weren't even going to tie up their stories? It's like they gave up on trying to make them relevant and fell back on Regina, like she’s the *only* main character in the show when it’s supposed to be an ensemble.Â
*And, I mean, I *don't* care about them that much, but they wanted us to, which is the point here.
(2) The idea that wish!Henry gave up his completely legitimate grievance against Regina just because she gave a nice speech and then stopped fighting him is ridiculous to me. Because, if it had been prime!Henry who'd been corrupted and then Regina got through to him, fine. Because he has a connection to Regina. But all Wish!Henry knows about Regina is that she tried to kill his grandparents in the past, killed his grandparents not so long ago*, and kidnapped his mom.
I might buy that he wavered on killing her at that moment, but that he would go in for a hug with the woman he only knows as a murderer is absurd. Also, I feel like that moment would have made a lot more sense if, in that scene, Regina had just taken a bullet (or magic blast or sword attack, etc) for Emma or Snow or Charming or anyone that wish!Henry would have recognized/cared about. I think his turn would have made more sense that way.
*Sidenote, I still hate everything about the Wishverse and the implication that you can just create fully formed life with a wish. Or maybe what I actually hate is the fact that you can do that and no one thinks about what that means ethically. Like, Regina is never like, "Oh God. When I killed wish!Snowing, I thought they were wish figments who were basically robots. I didn't realize they were actually sentient. That's horrifying." She never thinks about that. No one cares except for wish!Henry, which he totally should. He was in the wrong about some things, but not that.
(3) The idea of a United Storybrooke isn't a problem to me.* In fact, I think it's a cool idea that I would bet almost anything a fanfic writer already came up with at some point. The problem is, there was no buildup and no reason for it. What we saw was Regina making a unilateral decision to do that, apropos of nothing. What do any of these realms have to gain from moving to Maine? I mean, OK, indoor plumbing and wifi. Which are pretty big sells. But if aliens contacted us and were like, "Hey, do you want us to move your planet to the other side of the galaxy? We have some pretty cool stuff." I feel like a lot of people would be rightfully apprehensive about that. I really hope they asked before they just smashed all the realms together.**
And what really annoys me is that, even without a build up to it, it's such an easy fix. "Oh no. The stuff wish!Rumple and wish!Henry were doing with the Author powers destabilized all the realms. The only way to stabilize them is to bind them together because we're stronger together." Done. And it also gives everyone a good reason to elect Regina queen. Which, speaking of--
*Though, it raises the question to me of what a realm is exactly. Because all of planet Earth and the surrounding universe is the Land Without Magic, right? But it seems like they only grabbed kingdoms from the other realms because it would impossible to put a whole other universe in Storybrooke. So I'm just curious on what definition of realm we're using here.
**Also, it's going to be a logistical nightmare. Like, isn't the punishment for theft in Agrabah cutting off your hands or something like that? Whereas in Arendelle, if you try to commit regicide, the queen's sister just punches you off a boat and you get extradited. Â
(4) The idea that everyone elected Regina queen by a landslide makes my eye rolls into oblivion. Who else was running? (Sidenote: I was listening to the Mean Girls musical soundtracks yesterday and there's a line that goes, "She gets everything. Regina, Regina, Regina." Which felt...apt)
I know we're way past this but I just don't believe in a world where someone like her gets a full character rehabilitation over the course of 7 years when she spent 3.5 of them being actively antagonistic, never actually trying to make up for it at all except to specific people, sometimes. I mean, I know people who are still legit mad at Aaron Burr for shooting Hamilton and that happened 214 years ago in a voluntary duel that had nothing to do with them.
It's not like Regina went through this multi-season journey where she realized the error of her ways and the depth of the pan she caused, really internalized it, and strove to make it right. She just kind of stopped being actively evil, then started doing good things--sometimes for selfish reasons, sometimes not--and not addressing her past actions. And that somehow made her the most beloved person in all the realms? Wack. They could not actively hate her I guess but that they LOVE her is a hard pill for me to swallow.Â
(5) And, honestly, I get that they were trying to parallel the first episode but there was a much better way to end the episode that solves almost all of my problems with it. Just have the closing event be Robin and Alice's wedding! Closing with a wedding is classic! It's Shakespearean even! And it would make a lot of sense to start with the wedding of the original main couple and end with the wedding of the new main couple. It makes sense thematically because this is a show about love (ostensibly at least and among other things). It lets two other characters get a chance to shine (plus wish!Hook). And Regina can still be involved. She's the aunt of one of the brides. She could have had the, "Sorry I'm late" line, but this time in the context of a wedding that she's invited to and doesn't want to ruin.* Character development!
*Which would have made more sense that giving the line to Emma imo. Like, it was kind of funny, but that's not how I imagine Emma would enter a wedding she was late for (especially since she's got more discreet poofing magic) and it's not a straight reversal like if Snow(ing) had done it to Regina. Giving the line to Regina in a benign context would make more sense for the arc they want for her to close.
(6) Also, this is more petty but Once had such a softball with Arthur PenDRAGON when the origins of Lily's dad came up and they instead went with a throwaway line about Zorro being a dragon? Wack.*
*Every time I type wack, I hope you read it as Hannibal Buress. Â
In conclusion, I'm graduating from law school tomorrow so I'm glad I graduated from OUAT last night because I will not have the time to write these essays once I have an actual job.
Did they pick from a hat full of loose plot threads and grab “Who is Lily’s Dad?” and then pick from another hat full of characters and come up with “Zorro, who is also a dragon”?Â
Also, did they think they were going to get away with that as an aside?Â
OK, at a certain point, aren’t you just doing magic and not casting a curse? You keep calling these things curses when you’re using them for time travel and realm travel and it doesn’t really fit anymore.
We spent HALF A SEASON in the underworld. The place where souls with unfinished business go. And they stick Belle and Rumple in a high school black box theater?
You can’t even claim they ran out of money for a set, because the set was the Storybrooke set
This whole episode is fully ridiculous but the Skin Deep love theme is still pretty and Emilie de Ravin looks great so I guess that’s what’s really important here.Â
I don’t understand the logic Alice is using. Hook is dying from holding her hand/contact, so she’s sitting and shaking his shoulders to try and make him better.
