Ouch that's my Cacti

Stories from the games I have played...

[ouch-cacti]

 —-SatDef Grid online…

—-SatDef Grid—- 2UFOs detected in orbit

—-SA9x-1UFO…ALERT

—-NA10x-1UFO…ALERT

—-AU5x-3UFO… ALERT..

—-Uploading data to Mission Control CA…

Central Officer:- Currently tracking 7 UFOs……. Emeny target descendin fast… energy sources detected…ETA 4 minutes an’ closing…

Commander:- Launch Interceptors! Target priority on all descending UFOs. Initiate satellite orbital defense pattern Delta Charlie…

Chief Scientist:- Ah tauld th’ commander thaur was jist nae enaw time, sae mony deid ends oan th’ trackin’ an’ stealth systems…. no… its aw th’ variables needin’ accoontin’ for… yeah most ay th’ team ur exhausted… thenk god Ah hae atleest some guid bark wi’ th’ revife kits finally hittin’ production… 

Commander:- God Dammit those aliens have chewed right through our entire Interceptor wing like it was a God Damn packet of party rings!

… XNEWS reporting from Perth…

… It was bloody hell down here… youse would have to have seen it to believe it! The bloody skies just opened… came straight down… wall to wall grid lock no f***ing way out at our end… Naa.. I’m not waiting to get my end fried… bloody panic is everywhere!

—-Intruder Alert… Intruder Alert… Base Perimeter breached at N4. 

Central Officer:- Heavy casualties reported… perimeter iz secure an’ narr damage taken… Aliun abductions in Australia as bin engaged but all feedbak from da mission has gone stiff, suspected soup sandwich, all reserves on alert!

Chief Scientist:- Damn satellite ainae workin’ again… gie aff yer far erse an’ gang an’ check th’ desk properly, probably a body ay those damn african swallows agin…

… XNEWS is reporting even more landings in RIO…

… So can you tell us what you think of XCOM’s funding being slashed again?

… Ay don’t care wa’ dee say dee tinnie do its ‘ell out e’yer and dee aren’t stopp’n dem.. yeah ay would slash all their fund’n, graft it ter territorial army ay-ay…

Squad Leader:- Ok… soh even though previous missiohn went belly up, hopefully… and were hoping here as we have no way of knowing what went wrong at the moment.. hopefully as the newly formed elite snipah unit you, one’s old bean, can cleaaar this dog’s dinnah up…

- Mission report. Engagement finally successfully, narr casualties, two aliun bodies takun as salvage, one floatin tin an’ a batty disc dig entity.

—-SA9x-7UFO… ALERT 

—-Intruder Alert… Intruder Alert… Base Perimeter breached at S2.

…Go Night vision… ok… radio silence… … … … There it is! Engage! Engage! ARGHHHHHhh… URrgh… dammit I can’t see… what the!… its transforming.. dammit… Blast it now! Grenades….. …. …. … …. …. … … … … …

Central Officer:- Critical damage to da forward base defenses sir… its holdin fe now… additionally dere iz wide spread panic across da continent sir… all military forces iz engaged… we as narr reserves westside side sir!

—-Sat Def Grid—- 4UFOs detected in orbit

… XNEWS… A recent report indicates that the XCOM interceptors have engaged fresh enemy forces both above in the skies and on the ground. Most football stadiums in America seem to be receiving visits from UFOs and there was also one that landed in Aldwark, Yorkshire….

… It seems their interceptors were again out matched… Now you say you saw them dogfighting above your farm?

…Ah av not gorreur clue wha’ theur are gonneur on-a-baar lad bur ah did seem ‘em i’ sky orl twistin ‘n then ‘a’ theear SCOM inter thin landed on uz barn!

… yes well thank you for that I’m sure!

SA10x-7UFO… ALERT

Commander:- God Dammit again! They are dominating the skies wherever they focus their efforts… Dammit not enough of anything left to but up a solid defence… 

—-Intruder Alert… Intruder Alert… Base Perimeter breached at N1

—-Intruder Alert… Intruder Alert… Base Perimeter breached at S3

—-Intruder Alert… Intruder Alert… Base Perimeter breached at E3 

…wait for it… wait for it.. don’t shoot till I give the…. URgh….

… FIRE!…

Squad Leader:- They’ve breached the innah defences… issue base evacuatiohn alert all station.. noh dammit!

Squad Leader:- Wait innah defences aaare holding…they’re falling back… keep that suppressing fire ohn them!

—-AS9x-10UFO… ALERT

Commander:-  All the interceptors are up.. but the essential arithmetic is that our interceptors will have to shoot down their UFOs at the rate of four to one, if we’re to keep pace at all…

Central Officer:- Asset recovery mission still holdin up sir… satellite help has enabled da first success in da mission but we only as one assault squad westside side on da ground.. requestin extracshun… maximum respect to da aliens but if we can take dis one… …ahhh naa…. we loses dem… assult squad as bin eliminated… shall I issue da evacuashun orda sir?

—-SA8x-2UFO… ALERT

—-NA9x-6UFO… ALERT

—-AU4x-2UFO… ALERT..

—-EU7x-2UFO… ALERT

—-AF8x-2UFO… ALERT

—-AS1x-10UFO… ALERT..

Aliens Win – XCOM lose

[ouch-cacti]

The concluding part of...

Mansions of Madness: The House of Fear

Scene 5. Take 10…

As Jenny led the maniac on a wild goose chase through the Mansion, I ranged back through the projector room in time to see some spectral partygoers running through the locked bathroom door next to the projection room. Shouting to Gloria, whose leg had just been broken by even more witches attacking her frail form, I tell her to check out the bathroom even as I rush back through the Mansion to try to help Jenny kill the Maniac before he kills her. 

Scene 6. Take 50… 

Through what means Gloria gained access to the bathroom I can’t recall but the sight of Marion Chapel’s dead body sprawled in the large bathtub was enough to unsettle her already shaken nerves. Shouting at us to get the lost reel Gloria turns just in time before another maniac plunges his machete at her blood drained face. As Gloria stumbles from the room agonizing over her broken leg, I turn to face the maniac as a ghastly hound of Tindalos seeps out of the projection screen lunging towards us. Bullets flying from Jenny’s and my .45s penetrate what heart the hound must have had to end its frightening form before it could even lay its claws upon us.

Scene 7. Take 2..

Jenny horrified face turns from the hounds body as she fires her guns point blank into my swirling coat her sanity broken as she takes anything moving as something to be killed. Shaking Jenny back to reality I push her stumbling from the room with the reel clutched in her arms as I turn to face the horrors spilling into the room to stop us succeeding at reaching our goal.

Scene 8. Take 1… 

Gloria slumps to the floor, her last breath spent on the effort of dying away from the horror that had tested her to her limit… Jenny’s fingers twitch wildly as she attempts to gain access to the broken electrical lock on the projection room door. Her fingers aligning half of the wires before her eyes lose focus on reality, her sanity wavering. I crash into her side as I connect the last wire to the room shoving Jenny in with the reel as even more witches and cultists run down the hall towards us… Jenny fumbles to click the reel into the projector and flicks the switch just before the last part of her retreats further in and loses itself in her sub consciousness, forever giving into the madness that has consumed her.

[ouch-cacti]

Mansions of Madness:  The House of Fear

Scene 1. Take 15..

Even before we had entered the Mansion the hairs on the back of our necks were raised as our thoughts returned to our agent’s verbal diarrhea suggesting they had used artifacts from our previous adventures as actual props in the movie. What madness had this director unleashed upon these unsuspecting actors was now ours to solve.

As we entered we could hear the muffled sounds of our movie playing from a distant room until Gloria Goldberg strode straight in on the premier only to find absolutely no one there… an empty room with the film flickering on the wall and  the sound track echoing all around hinting that we needed to find some where cool. Our first clue…

Although we were all sane when we made the decision, our best attempt at thinking of a cool place only made us think of the bathroom and taking a cool shower. This fateful decision to find the bathroom first would cost one  of us their life and bring another to the brink of insanity. 

Scene 2. Take 3… 

Gloria explored off the sides of the projection room finding only locked doors as Jenny and myself drove through the east wing to find the nearest shower room. A wave of darkness threw itself at Jenny shaking her already highly strung nerves and causing her to flee and stumble into me. With my .45s drawn I almost put a bullet through her distorted face as she tries to get away from the darkness. 

Scene 3. Take 5…

There was no time for fear as I smacked open door after door until panting and out of breath I reached a bedroom and an adjoining shower my hands clasping my knees for support in getting my breath back. Then it pierced the silence, Gloria’s high pitched shrieks for help cascading through the side doors of the bedroom as she was suddenly confronted with the lost soul of Vivian Davis, one of the two bit actresses playing out our lives on screen. The witches materialized out of the misted darkness surrounding Vivian’s lost soul even as a black robed cultist dived at Gloria’s throat. Without thought time seemed to stop as Gloria bent backwards almost in two as the two witches swiped and plunged for where her body had just been before her typewrite's front strikes caught the cultist’s out stretched out fingers only to crush them as she presses the carriage return key ripping his nails from their fingers causing spurting blood to mist in the air as the cultist disappears as quickly as he had come.  

 Scene 4. Take 37…

Clutching a silver key she had managed to pick up during her floundering moments at the beginning, Jenny strikes out for the freezer slamming the door open even as she shoots her .45s into the frozen air that spirals around her slim fashion cover frame. Everything is still for just a moment before a blood soaked meat cleaver splits Jenny’s split ends as her second round of shots manage to embed themselves in the skull of the maniac lunging at her from the depths of the freezer.

To be continued…

[ouch-cacti]

For centuries we had gazed out from our walled cities past lifeless deserts towards a ghostly image of trees, shimmering behind an impenetrable magical barrier... Only now that barrier was gone and our first maiden led explorers had reported on the ghost filled cities left by the once great Hyperboreans. 

Within days we had sent forward our best maiden warriors and channeled all of our races development towards developing new the skills needed for moving more rapidly through the forests to secure our new borders. However, the Corralists and Emerald Kingdom had similar designs on taking the forest that hid the ancient Hyperborean cities just waiting to be plundered. 

Although it seemed incongruous that ghosts could even be fought let alone defeated our maiden warriors found a way and through their legendary achievements encouraged even more maidens to swell their ranks in the new outposts they had created. Securing one of these Hyperborean cities gave new life to our scientific skills, enabling future technological developments we had only dreamt of previously.

With the whispers on the wind reporting that the Red Duchy had laid siege to the Emerald Kingdoms forces in the east and that the Barony tribes were now descending south towards the Corralists there was even hushed talk that the Matriarchy might form an alliance with the Corralists forces for mutal protection. Givers of life the Matriarchy maybe, but they can also take life when it servers their purpose and so a second mighty Hyperborean city extending out of the eastern forest was to tempting a prize to allow any sort of alliance get in the way. Draining the life from the single Corralist force before them proved as simple as it was quick, for a single charge straight towards their ranks destroyed them utterly so that their corpses could be collected as trophies to adorn the purple walls of the capital city.

Fortresses were quickly chucked down to defend against any counter attack, however, none was forthcoming as the Barony tribes of the north started to be a more attractive draw for the Corralists deep laid plans to achieve dominance. This left two of the greatest Hyperborean cities in our hands which we systematically explored and plunder to aid the development of powerful diplomatic and technological improvements. 

Even after diplomatic overtures were made to repair the damage made by turning on the Corralist forces it would prove to be too little too late as the once powerful Red Duchy forces had by now started to flounder and where one races recedes another takes its place. The Emerald Kingdom had taken the centre of Hyperborea, dispelling the ghosts without any real visible effort. 

We had tried to raise our race above all the others through a constant drive for development and acquisition of newly discovered technologies. Even as the dust settled and the last of the ghosts was banished from Hyperborea it was clear that the Matriarchy had not done enough and that a bright green emerald held final dominance over Hyperborea.

[ouch-cacti]

Avric Albright burst in upon Four brutal barghests who had their quarry, a lone villager, pinned up against the village gate. Smashing a howling barghest’s head with his mace Alvric charged straight through trying to draw their attention away from the villager. Following blows from Syndreal’s sword and Tomble’s knives managed to blunt the Bargest’s assault long enough for Leoric to light the first beacon and open the villages’ heavy wooden gate.

The barghests however, must have sensed the vulnerable villagers inside, and driven on by the scent of their quarry they rushed blindly past the heroes setting upon the throat of the retreating villager before bloodily ripping him limb from limb. Even before the villager’s scream had been swallowed into the night the heroes had counter charged into the feeding Barghests slaying them all. Quickly barring the gate they could now turn their attention to a strangled scream for help coming from Daerintown.

Pushing the two remaining villagers into the corners of the room Avric and Syndreal plunged for the other door. The ripe smell of putrid flesh caused the heroes to almost falter before Leoric once again rose Skeletor from the darkened shadows to confront what looked like zombies looming out of the darkness. While Tomble set about lighting the closest beacon Syndreal charged straight through the incorporeal body of Skeletor, slashing the closest zombies arm off. Quickly spinning to one side Syndreal looked back towards Leoric as he put into action his plan of driving Skeletor into the the group of Zombies to detonate its magical power. The rotting flesh of two zombies was soon scattered across the ground as the heroes sort to regroup for the next onslaught.

However, even as more zombies started to appear and the bargests managed to over run the defences of Tombell and Avric to slaughter another village, Leoric and Syndreal raced forward into the gloomy night. Very soon another bright beacon suddenly burned brightly up into the air and then a final flame roared its way to life signaling the heroic defeat of the minions once again as they quickly shrunk back towards the darkened base of Castle Daerion

[ouch-cacti]

The heroes’ journey towards Arhynn was forcibly interrupted by Mauler’s goblin minions taking the secret path into the city.  Before the heroes had confronted Mauler and his ettin guard or even blocked the secret path, two of the goblins had scrambled over their heads and through their legs and made it through to the other side. With Tomble Burrowell knives sticking out the back of one of them and the Goblin master stunned by Avric Albrights mace, things started to look like the heroes were gaining control of the situation. A skeleton horror summoned by Leoric the Book suddenly materialized out of the air to aid the heroes in trying to stem the goblin horde.

Even though the goblins were succeeding at getting past the heroes the ettins also wasted no time and drove forward into Syndreal and Avric, slamming the former soldier now heroic war cleric with a massive spiked club and almost knocking him off his feet. Mauler followed this up by impaling Avric on his club and driving him to ground, crushing the life from his human body.

Tomble’s swift intervention managed to stem the tide of goblins fleeing down the secret path as Leoric’s familiar, nicknamed ‘Skeletor’, managed to smash the newly emerging goblins attempting to cross the heroes’ path. Enraged with grief for her dying friend, Syndreal’s iron sword is unleashed on the smaller of the ettins, slashing across his bulging stomach bringing it to its knees and then embedding itself through the necks of the two headed giant. Even as Mauler stands and screams a challenge to the heroes Leoric managed to rush forward to help Avric to his feet.

Mauler stumbles forward to crush Avric a second time, but Avric’s healing powers start to flood through his body, shrugging of the fatigue and sweat he brings strength to his mace arm as he punches it upwards into the ettin’s throats, stunning the giant and stopping it in its tracks. Just as it looks like the heroes are gaining the upper hand, Tomble is pierced by several of the goblin’s poisoned arrows bringing a blood-curdling cry from his foaming lips.

Even though he should be dead Tomble screams back into life as the brackish swamp water drips from his rising frame, his eyes fixed upon the final battle now playing out before him. Blow after blow after blow now rain down upon Mauler’s stunned body as their sweat runs down their ettin blood soaked armour. The heroes claim their pounds of flesh from its blood drenched body until Tomble’s knives claim the killing shot. Mauler’s two heads garble some nonsense about his almighty overlord before he finally topples to the ground before the victorious heroes feet.

[lostminesofphandelver]

Chapter 2

The Goblin Caves 

With weapons still held ready, the over cautious group of heroes approach the dead horses only to find they had belonged to Gundren and Sildar, their patrons they were meant to be meeting in Phandalin. Silverglide’s groaning for the loss of his cousin Gundren breaks the groups silence as Silverglide begins looking around for any sign of where they had been taken, his anger welling up inside. Upon the horses there was also an empty map case, their patrons had obviously been up to something more than what they had revealed in the inn and had been attacked because of it. Silverglide starts to strongly assert the importance of a dwarf’s family links insisting that the group go down the forest path he had found to the side of where they had been ambushed. He would not be able to live with himself if he left his cousin to the torturous ways of the Goblin kind.

With the path being incredibly thin the group had to once again work out the best marching order as they were still getting used to each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  Silverglide deliberately cut the discussions short by barging through, taking the lead and shouting in rage for his cousin, ‘Gundren!’ Fortunately, Cora is able to quickly point out that she could scout ahead to ensure there are no more ambushes and therefore no more captured dwarves to be saved! With Gundren’s agreement she disappears down the path with the rest of the group following carefully behind.  A short while later a faint strangled cry is heard from the path ahead. Gundren barges forward not caring now what lay ahead but stumbles through the undergrowth till he is confronted by an upside down Cora swinging in the air. Quickly cutting her down he catches her and is about to recklessly charge forward again as Cora shouts for him to stop as his foot hovers over a large pit spiked pit trap. 

The heroes eventually come to a rocky outcrop with a stream trickling down from a cave mouth and on through to a clearing in front of them. There are some suspiciously large thickets to the side of the clearing, which everyone agrees need to be checked out as there is just too obvious an ambush here. Cora creeps up to the thickets and discovers two goblins talking quietly. Paelia’s decision to creep up to discern what the goblins were saying backfires as his noisy approach alerts the goblins to the heroes presence. With one of Coras arrows immediately imbedded in the back of a goblin’s throat only one goblin manages to charge forward through the thicket towards the group. Dorn’s arrow and Olga’s Javelin fail to stop his charge as a ray of frost freezes the goblin in his tracks so he falls forward and shatters into a thousand pieces. The heroes had gained entrance to the cave as they steal through the entrance with confidence in their natural night vision. All apart from Dorn, who blindly stumbles in after them to hoping to maintain some sense of surprise should they meet any more goblins. The initial cavern shows a set of artificial steps ascending to the right and another passage way to the west. With Paelias having the best natural vision he creeps up the steps and around a corner into another dark cavern. Savage snarls break the stillness in the air as Paelias comes face to face with two wolves chained to a rod driven in to a stalagmite. Their eyes pierce the darkness as they catch Paelias scent. Cora agrees to creep past them and on the the other side finds a 15ft deep fissure with a way up at the top. Suddenly impatient to move on, Silverglide tries to approach the wolves throwing them some food from his pack to stop the barks that had just started to echo through the chamber. ‘I’m coming for you Gundren!’ Silverglide shouts as he charges towards Cora at the fissure.

  Pushing past Cora, Silverglide climbs up the fissure focusing only on the light ahead, could it be this easy to find his Cousin? Suddenly realising the danger he might be in as he reaches the opening he carefully puts his head through to see what was making the light. Staring intently at the vision of goblins, wolves and a bugbear in front on him he tries to descend back down only to find he is stuck in the fissure at the top. Fortunately the rest of the companions had been focused on his ascent so upon seeing his dilemma they manage to pull him back down. The heroes decide to not attempt the death of the bugbear as in Silverglide’s view the beast could well be their death and there was no sign of Gundren, why risk your life when your goal is not there, right? In agreement the heroes carefully return to cave entrance to try the other western passage.

  A little way down the passage the outline of a bridge comes into view above their head, with a shadow moving on the side of the bridge. Although Dorn’s arrow clatters off the side of the cave alerting the shadow to their presence, Silverglide’s fiery magic and Paelias’ freeze spell manage to encase the shadow revealing the tortured outline of a soon to be dead goblin. Continuing down the passage to a T-junction Cora stealthy peeps round one of the corners only to see another large cave! Silverglide’s murmuring of ‘Why are there always more bloody caves!’ can be heard as Cora informs the heroes that 5 goblins seem to be guarding someone chained to a massive stalagmite in the middle of the cave. With everyone now feeling the need to shed some goblin blood the heroes decide to charge as one around the corner.  Arrows loosed slam into one of the goblins killing it outright as Silverglide’s warhammer smashes through the body of a second, his simmering anger at his cousins’ plight now finding a suitable outlet. Rays of frost flash over the goblins heads as more arrows slam into a third goblin. Disengaging from the goblin in front of him Silverglide pushes past another goblin to get to a slightly bigger goblin standing by the strung up prison on the stalagmite. Charging forward his overhead smash on the goblin’s shoulder is deflected off his armor. Olga charges in too, swinging her massive axe which bites deep into the goblin slicing off one of his arms and bringing him to his knees and also his death. Although one of the remaining goblins attempts to charge Olga’s exposed back Dorn’s long sword slashes through the goblin tearing his life away in less than a second, while Cora’s short word finds the heart of the last goblin as he attempts to run. With Sildar Hallwinter’s gruff but thankful voice echoing in their ears the heroes leave the caves carrying him with them as the make their way back to the path and from there on to Phandalin. 

[lostminesofphandelver]

Chapter 1

  The High Road

  To the heroes of this story it must have seemed like an age had pasted since they had met Gundren Rockseeker and Sildar Hallwinter one ominous evening in the Sunken Flagoon Inn of Neverwinter.  Although the events of that evening are definitely best left in the past, it is safe to say that by midday the five heroes could be found trying to drag two stubborn mules and a cartload of supplies (Cadburys chocolate éclair) down the High Road to Barthen’s Provisions in Phandalin with the assurance of ten gold pieces upon arrival.

  Conversation was pretty sparse as the heroes tried to remember who each of them was and what had brought them to be standing so close to two smelly mules and a god awful cart that looked like it had just be pushed together and might well come apart should even a small stone stand in its way (if we can get some glue for our cart model we could permanently swap out the chocolate éclair). Purposefully keeping one step ahead of the rest was Olga Stormwind who was hefting her great axe in both hands as her mind focused on how she could try and get Sildar to assist her in bringing law and order to Phandalin once she got there. At least one step behind Olga walked Silverglide, a once stalwart member of the Neverwinter city watch but whose thoughts were also a day away in Phandalin and the Redbrand thugs who were bullying the locals and needed teaching a lesson. Either side of the cart were Paelias Ilphelkiir, a High elf wizard and Cora Hilltopple a lightfoot halfing, both of whom stared straight ahead not talking to each other. Paelias was deep in thought trying to recall a recent vision his god, Oghma the all-seeing god of knowledge had given him. Although Cora Hilltopple also looked like she too was recovering, one look into her cold steel eyes would have revealed the revenge that drove her forward to Phandalin. Lastly, and looking a little bit the worst of the group came Dorn of Thundertree, holding his head and trying to remember anything that would help him understand why he was trailing behind everyone else and why he felt the need to slay a dragon some day.

  The open road slowly gave way to more vegetation until forest was flanking them on both sides and beginning to claw and scrape at the sun in the sky. As the cart rolled onwards Olga’s voice broke the silence as she called out that the road ahead was blocked by what looked like two dead horses pierced with black arrow shafts. Suddenly, Cora looked up as stillness took over the surrounding area. Slowly and one by the one the rest of the group also began to notice the eerie silence as they looked around trying to perceive what was wrong. Immediately upon lifting his head Dorn had drawn his bow with a piercing arrow nocked and ready to loose, his eyes blinking as he tried to shake the fog clouding his vision as he peered into the shadows amongst the trees. Before anyone noticed Cora disappearing into the shadows under the cart, Olga had loudly shouted, ‘We know you are there!’ Only a sullen silence responded to her voice as they each eased into a fighting stance. As Silverglide muttered an incantation under his breath, whisperings drifted out on the breeze around the heroes causing several birds to take flight and a slight cracking of the dried rotten forest breaking could be heard deeper in the forest on both sides.  With the long discussion that then ensued on how to approach the dead horses anyone would assume that they had experienced one too many surprised attacks. With hesitation at first and then a resigned murmuring under their breath the heroes slowly drew the mules and cart straight up to the two dead horses.

  Even as Olga took breath to shout again the air was pierced by two arrow shafts, one sucking the breath from her lips as it barely missed her face and a second scraping deep into the side of Silverglide’s head bringing forth an agonizing moment of stunned disbelief. Within a second two shrieking Goblins charged from the undergrowth towards the heroes and two more emerged from the shadows as they redrew their bows to shoot again. With Dorn’s focus still not clear his first shot clattered loudly through the branches missing completely. Luckily Cora’s arrow sang true, piercing the shadows to end the life of one of the Goblins. From under his now blood drenched beard Silverglide’s voice could be heard calling to his god to rain a fiery radiance down upon the other Goblin hiding in the undergrowth, toasting him and the surrounding forest to blackened cinders. Olga had now managed to catch her breath and unleashing her lungs she bellowed at the charging Goblin causing the creature to hesitate long enough to hear the deaths cries of the other Goblins around him.

  Dorn’s second arrow also scattered wide as he tried to bring full command to his drawn bow and shake off the effect of the previous night. As the second Goblin charged into Paelias he tried to grasp the Goblin with a bright electrical charge shimmering down the lengths of his arms, but the Goblin ducked under his reach and fumbled to find a target for the blackened short sword he swung wildly towards the wizard. Before the Goblin can bring the sword round to swing again his whole body ripples with flames, singeing Paelias eyebrows and causing him to jump back as the Goblin is cremated in front of his eyes. With Olga’s voice ringing in his ears and seeing more fire falling towards him the last Goblin turned and ran towards the shadows of the forest only to be brought down by one of Olga’s javelins and a final arrow from Dorn that manages to find its mark.

  Before the flames had died down around the forest floor the heroes had already braced themselves for another attack. It was only after several minutes and the pressing need for Silverglide to heal his wounds that the heroes relaxed a little and begin to search the dead Goblins and horses…

[ouch-cacti]

I

[ouch-cacti]

They said the galaxy would never be eclipsed again by an all consuming war, they even promised the Galactic Council would enforce this peace… They were wrong…

It all started with the Terran Directorate in the Procyon sector annexing several inner sector worlds and asteroid belts for extensive mining projects. Upon discovering fledging colonies of the Guardians of Magellan they ruthlessly destroyed all existence of colonies quickly replacing them with their own. Given the weakened state of the Galactic centre no decision was made on what should be done about this blatant aggression and the oldest Magellan faction was forced to sue for peace giving up all rights to their border sectors taken from them. This ended the first Procyon War. On this outcome the Guardians would ponder long and hard and their destiny would be set by their desire for vengeance.

However, the inability of the Galactic Centre to take action was no accident. All of the other races were secretly harbouring expansionist desires and had begun stretching out tendrils of influence towards both the centre of the Galaxy and their nearest neighbours. It was with the Planta that the alarm bells were first raised as what first seemed like an over zealous need for a defensive buffer zone was soon seen for what it actually was, blatant sector grabbing for wealth and power to influence the whole galaxy.

The Hegemony had placed their war machines in hibernation at the end of the Long War. However, upon receiving intelligence that both the Mechanema and the Planta were developing their own warships, they decided to act in the best interests of the Galaxy and retake the Galactic Centre and enforce peace on the war infested races surrounding them. Their first Dreadnought and Cruisers were quickly despatched towards the centre as their neighbours had ensured there was no direct access to intercede through the outer sectors. Crushing all ancient life before them the Orion Hegemony dominated the Galactic Centre within seconds of exiting the worm hole. The effect of this sudden attack rippled out from the centre shaking to the core all worlds within its sphere of influence.

As the Mechanema were between the Planta and the Orion Hegemony they quickly sent emmersaries to the Hegemony pleading with them to accept their allegiance. However the Hegemony had other plans and could not spare any ships to ensure the Mechanema decommissioned their warships. A mistake that would almost be Hegemony’s undoing as the galaxy is fully eclipsed by the coming of war. The Hegemony now had to defend the Galactic centre from an over aggressive Terran Directorate and over ambitious Guardians of Magellan who had developed Anti-matter cannons purposefully to circumvent the almost impregnable improved hulls of the Hegemony’s warships. With the realisation that they would not be given a quick exit from the coming wars, the Mechanema threw their allegiance with the Planta away and attempted a daring assault on their board sectors. Unfortunately, they hadn’t anticipated the additional targeting technology the Planta had on board their space stations which ensured that enough plasma cannon shots hit the hulls of the Mechanema’s dreadnought to bring utter ruin to any hope they had of breaking through the Planta’s defences.

An arms race quickly ensued with the Hegemony rapidly developing both plasma missile technology and additional computers to ensure they had the ultimate first strike capability. At first the Guardians of Magellan threatened to outflank the Planta which ensured they stopped expanding and started defending their own boarders. All the races were now at a deadlock as their weapons were all trained to cover every possible wormhole which might offer their opponent an easy battle. Then in a surprise move the Guardians of Magellan showed their true colours and broke the fragile alliance they had made with the Terran Directorate in favour of cutting deep into their core worlds with their lightning fast interceptors. The second Procyon wars had begun. Although the Terrans reacted swiftly and defended some sectors they also lost other crucial industrial and economic worlds to the ferocity of the Guardian’s assault. In a cry for the help the Hegemony agreed on an alliance with the Terran’s in the hope that this threat would stem their vengeful assault. Unfortunately for the Guardians they continued to push their attacks deeper towards the Terran home world.

The unbridled aggression of the Guardians of Magellan could not go unanswered and after several quick builds of their own faster interceptors armed with Gluon computers and Plasma missiles, the Hegemony drove forward into the Guardians massive fleet of Dreadnoughts, Cruisers and Interceptors. Within seconds of the missiles being fired the entire Guardians’ fleet was wiped out and their worlds neutron bombed into oblivion. Such was the devastation to their economy they would not take any further active part in the war, preferring to protect their last few worlds than risk complete annihilation.

With the second Procyon sector war now over it just remained for the Hegemony to hold on to their own core worlds and the centre. Unbeknownst to the Hegemony the Mechanema had made a traitorous alliance with the Planta and developed worm hole technology which would allow them to bridge the empty space between the Hegemony’s home plants and their own. As swarms of Mechanema Interceptors pouring through the worm holes, along with a massive Dreadnought it might well have been the end of the Hegemony. Fortunately, their economy was such that with their industrial might they built several missile Cruisers and a Dreadnought to protect the key sectors they risked losing. However, the threat was not nearly as potent as it looked. Upon taking the outer sectors of the Hegemony’s space they lacked the ability to bomb the planets into submission. This would give the Hegemony enough time in the future for heavy reprisals to be taken against the Mechanema, such that they would not live to see the destruction of their own home world.

Hegemony 34 pts, Planta 32 pts, Terran 28 pts, Mechanema 19 pts, Guardians 13pts.

[ouch-cacti]

15 July 1940: Luftwaffe Launches the Battle of Britain

It has started, Germany has taken on the Great British Empire and ordered the Luftwaffe to mount bombing raids along the coastline. Although our pilots were heavily outnumbered we put up a good show seeing off the enemy planes with little lose to our own. The Air Ministry says 20 enemy aircraft were shot down and even more damaged for the loss of only two British fighters.

27 August 1940:  RAF scramble to take on the enemy

Today the bombing raids began before dawn.  With Worth radar knocked out previously the enemy bombers pushed up through the gap in the radar and at 900 hours the bombs starting falling on Bath.  At 1100 hours another large force of over 130 enemy aircraft approached Canterbury in the east. It is hard to say exactly how many were shot down but it looks like at least 30 Me 110s and 109s were shot down along with several Heinkel bombers for the loss of only 12 British aircraft of which 5 of the pilots were rescued.

2 October 1940: London Blitzed by Luftwaffe Bombers

Towards evening today pilots saw several large formations of bombers approaching from the south. Estimates put the formation at over 200 bombers protected by more than 60 enemy fighters. At first it was not clear where they were heading which gave them a clear line to the capital where shortly after 2200 hours bombs rained down throughout the capital followed by a second wave at 2300. However, as their bombers turned for home our Spitfires and Hurricanes descended from above and a large air battle ensued.  One eye-witness said “It’s like nothing I ever saw before, great trails of smoke crisscrossed the sky and you could see some heading down to the ground!”  50 german bombers were shot down this evening for the lost of over 20 British planes, with 10 of those pilots rescued.

14 October 1940: British Cities Burning

Great swathes of Ipswich lie in ruins this morning as the Luftwaffe focus all their raids on our cities and towns. The British fighters, although fewer in number, managed to turn several other raids back over the course of the night but paid the price in the lose of many valuable pilots.

27 October 1940: Heavy RAF Loses

The British industrial might is working ever day to repair and renew the lost aircraft shot down by the Luftwaffe but it is not enough and several areas in the south are now less well defended. The defense of the Great Britain is now depending on squadrons being drawn down from further north.

03 November 1940:  Battles Rage Across the Southern Skies

People watching from Plymouth say a large formation of bombers crossed the channel at 700 hours yesterday heading towards the airfield of Roborough. On landing a Hurrican pilot said it was like shooting ducks at the fairground ride, there were so many of them all lined up it wasn’t possible to miss. 26 enemy bombers were shot down for the lost of 7 aircraft, but only 1 pilot was found by our costal search and rescue teams.

18 November 1940: Battle of Britain Lost 

Everything is lost as the intensity of each bombing run has drawn everything we have left up into the skies for our defense.  Cardiff and Weston were both hit today and despite our brave pilots efforts we paid dearly with their lives… The battle for the skies is lost but we shall make them pay dearly if there is any invasion attempts.

  The Luftwaffe achieved 9 missions within 7 game turns for a win.

[ouch-cacti]

And so it was during the time of King Arthur that a shadow fell over Camelot. It was a cruel darkness that was to reach even to the hearts of his closest knights, sowing the seed of dissent and mistrust that would ultimately bring chaos into the Kingdom of Britain.

The cold iron winter that had held the kingdom fast for so many months was starting to thaw and with it it would bring a new season of war to the borders of Britain. For King Arthur had many enemies from the northern Picts to the neighboring Saxon tribes, which would not stand idle during the spring months but do all they could to bring his Kindgom to its knees. However, alongside these common enemies a more sinister evil had risen up to plague our shores a blackness that would try to taint everyone’s hearts and bring despair to all.

Fortunately, in the castle of Camelot King Arthur’s bravest knights had gathered around the round table to heed his council on which quests needed to be completed first and foremost to help save the Kingdom. Firstly there was Sir Galahad the gallant and pure, Sir Gawain a defender of the poor, Sir Tristan the mighty and majestic and lastly myself, Sir Percival the brave. 

Although we had know each other now for many years and even been on many quests together our eyes betrayed a lingering doubt at the back of our minds. For even then reports had reached the castles walls of a possible traitor in our midst, someone who was working from within these very walls to hasten a victory for the forces of evil. Even before we had begun talking a sense of unease and distrust pervaded our talk. Even the unthinkable was there amongst our thoughts, could the words of our liege lord King Arthur himself be trusted? Let alone each other? I was sure of mine own loyalty but the tone of our initial discussions sent shivers down my spine as I realized that my first suggestion had been jumped upon with equal suspicion from my fellow knights, even I was considered a possible traitor.

After several days of preparing for each quest we were finally ready.  Sir Galahad was insistent on fighting a strange black knight that had appeared at the castles gates the previous week and would not leave until someone had bested him.  Did he know something we didn’t or was this just a rouse to maintain our trust in him, given what his father Sir Lancelot had done to the kingdom previously. However, King Arthur was relying on Sir Galahads loyalty as he decided to head off on a quest to find Sir Lancelot and finally defeat his traitorous soul. Sir Gawain pleaded with King Arthur not to make him take on the quest of the Grail for which he had only just returned from the previous season having been on it for the last 5 years! This boon was granted and instead he went off to fight the Picts and defeat them once and for all! I went forth to do battle with the Saxons as their scout ships had been spotted coming up the estuary and it was only a matter of time before they reached our walls. Sir Tristan took on Sir Gawains previous burden, that of the quest for the Holy Grail! Surely we would complete it this time? Surely? 

We all had uneventful journeys to our destinations this time, would that that luck would continue for our future journeys. Sir Galahad proved his loyalty by sending the Black Knight back to where he had come from and I defeated the mighty Saxons, setting light to their boats and ensuring they would not return, or so I thought at the time. Sir Gawain with the help of Merlin also defeated the armies of the Picts. This was enough for King Arthur to entrust him with the quest to find Excalibur, which at that very moment was in danger of being lost forever. Sir Tristan was also a true stalwart throughout and maintained his assault on despair, making several advances towards finding that illusive holy grail.

Even as we completed these quests we also learnt of a massive army of evil gathering together beyond the borders of our kingdom, its siege engines were said to be mighty beasts of war, with just twelve of them they could breach the outer walls of Camelot! But no matter what we did in the coming days, even when we went on specific raids to destroy them, the evil army continued to grow, it was like a ticking clock, slowly turning to bring about our eventual doom.

However, Sir Galahad kept getting visions of things to come,  events would unfold before him in his dreams and he would awake muttering and shouting them out loud. At first no one would believe him, of all the knights Sir Galahad had attracted the most suspicion as a possible traitor. But sure enough the events he laid out happened before our eyes and we started to trust to his visions even if they were overly cryptic as if he knew more but just couldn’t voice the full truth! Now, even as Sir Tristan battled through desolation and despair to try and find the Grail and King Arthur continued to track down Lancelot, Sir Gawain was in the thick of it desperately trying to find Excalibur. As Sir Galahads visions were known to us, we could use this to help Sir Gawain and the quest for Excalibur might yet be saved if we held true to our cause. Alas, it was not to be as King Arthur’s concentration was keenly towards his own quest to find Lancelot and keeping all else before him was too much. In a momentary lose of focus the evil forces else where in his Kingdom advanced forward towards the lake and Sir Gawain on his quest for Excalibur. Little did King Arthur know what the effects of this evil would be till Sir Gawain’s shattered screams echoed through the mists of Avalon and surrounded the King’s ears bringing him to his knees. Or was that just what he had planned all along? Was it true these rumors of our beloved King, that he himself had let evil into his heart and was working from within to bring death to us all? No one dared challenge him on it though; our own hearts could not bring ourselves to utter the words.

That we had failed at finding Excalibur only brought desolation and despair to Sir Gawain who could barely contain his emotions at such a lose given it could all…   However, some consolation was to be had as King Arthur’s resolve was strengthen allowing him to defeat Lancelot, banishing him from the fair Isle of Avalon and in so doing allowed him to gain Lancelot’s magnificent armor as a fitting reward. Back at Camelot the siege engines on our borders were mounting up, and although we were all on quests that were of the upmost importance, Sir Galahad felt compelled to send out messengers calling for a convocation to rally the knights to ensure Camelot was not defeated. Sir Tristan, Sir Galahad and myself answered these calls twice over, and twice over we pushed back the forces of evil, setting light to the beasts of war.

Now the end times were upon us and time slowed down, each beat of our hearts could be heard as the forces of evil and good played out before us. Accusations became more unbridled as the shadow present at the beginning of the game gained its hold upon the walls of Camelot. Our kingdom’s survival stood upon the two edges of a sword, one edge white and one edge black. King Arthur, by losing Excalibur, had driven himself onwards to the quest for the undefeated dragon of Angor and in his desperation to defeat it he looked to his knights and Merlin to help him. Now Sir Tristan was sure he held the key to its defeat but King Arthur’s concentration was only on needing the strongest knights to help him and other strategies were meaningless to him. Eventually, after several rounds of turning down Sir Tristans’s help, he finally accepted it and found the reinforcements he would need to be successful. Just then the long black shadow finally cast its darkness over almost half of the round table as the dark forces charged forward in one last desperate attempt to take Camelot. Our time was up, had we done enough through our quests to halt evil in its tracks? Slowly but surely we looked into each other’s hearts to see who was loyal and who was not, and with what can only amount to a stroke of luck no one was found wanting in this, we had all been pure of heart all along.  It had all just been a trick of the enemy to make us fight amongst ourselves rather than work together. King Arthur and his knights had finally won, the shadow was banished from Camelot… for a while at least.

croydongamers

badmeeple

[ouch-cacti]

It was the smallest of islands, a mere stepping stone from the great port of San Juan to the much greater promise of wealth to be found on the Spanish main. But there was also wealth to be had on Puerto Rico for those with ambition and a strong resolve to stay one step ahead of any rivals… of which there were two worthy to be mentioned. Firstly, there was Imaculada Acaudalado who owned the first corn plantations on the island and was know to have a heart for the people, she had even talked about building her own Hospice for the colonists. Secondly, there was Señor Estaban know as La Gran Muralla of Puerto Rico for his ability to see off any and all assaults on his territory. Lastly, there was myself, Juan del Valle, who owned the smallest of plantation estates and probably had the least knowledge on how to attend to my Fathers legacy that now lay at my feet.

Within the first year Señor Estaban had built an additional quarry to help expand his burgeoning indigo plantations and Imaculada was developing more corn with which to sell back to Spain to make her profit quickly. They both saw a chance to make some quick money selling to the local market places which not only brought the local trade to a standstill for the next few years, but this also meant I couldn’t sell anything at all! There is only so many barrels of indigo dye and corn that can be consumed by a small island population till we are all wearing Indigo and eating corn for breakfast everyday! Although I was not Governor to begin with, I saw a chance to maximise my Indigo production quickly, out stripping my rivals by a rate of 3 to 1. Soon my warehouses were full to bursting with barrels full of the much sort after dye and all I needed now was to ship them to Spain. This is exactly what I did next by filling the boats alongside Señor Estaban but ensuring that they were full to the seams with more or my Indigo barrels bearing the great seal of Juan del Valle. Through this I managed to get far more prestige for my endeavours when the boats reached Spains ports.

Although the political nature of the island ensured a strange rotation of its Governorship, it was through good timing and a lot of luck that I was able to use my rival’s governorships to my own advantage. I received more colonists to work in my plantations when Imaculada was Mayor, and through a well built hacienda I doubled my building of new plantations going me three each of tobacco and Indigo, and even a coffee and sugar as well! This was a good start towards my goal of building my very own Guild Hall.

Senor Estaban wasn’t to be outstripped by an upstart who not only didn’t know how to plant a mere coffee but also couldn’t tell the difference between a sugar cane and an Indidgo plant! It was also clear he was here to make the most money possible, developing his own massive sugar and coffee plantations and filling his warehouses with those good ready to ship. However, through a strange local custom know as Orden de Fasa Variables, when Señor Estaban decided to go into mass production of coffee beans I was also able to produce my own indigo and tobacco as well. Then, by some amazing buena suerte the Captain at San Juan port was still available to be called upon to take my goods back to Spain first. By filling the boats carefully, as none of the Captains would take more than one type of good, I had inadvertently stopped Señor Estaban from shipping any of his goods… No podia criers la mala suerte que tenia! I say inadvertently but it was certainly buena suerte for me as all of his precious coffee cargo was ruined and there was no storage space with which to keep it safe during the coming months. I believe the island was eating coffee beans for some times after that, no one slept..

Even as I won that small battle against Señor Estaban, Imaculada had managed to sell her coffee goods on the local market which had now become open again. In doing this she had become the wealthiest Governor the island had ever seen. She even built her own private wharf to ship her developing sugar and tobacco trade back to the Spain without the hassle of having to deal with the rules bound captains of San Juan. However, her new empire was not to be… before her golden age could be ushered in I had one final duty to perform as Mayor of Puerto Rico, and after that was played out it was discovered that there were not enough colonists available to continue settling the island. It was the end.

Juan del Valle - 28 something or other… for the win!

Senor Estaban - something less than that…

Imaculada Acaudalado - something like that or less again.. 

[ouch-cacti]

Day 1. Due to the deterioration of the situation, lack of equipment (especially rope) from our ship wreck, and also the lack off time left to find all the ancient treasure sites and then get off this volcanic island I decided to try and ensure our exploration was successful on our first day. Therefore, both myself and Friday went to explore the island further with our dog, Bowser, following behind. I found my way through some hills to a waterfall but there was nothing useful to make any new rope as yet!  Due to my exertions in this I was exhausted and my attempts at making a map of the surrounding area in the afternoon failed as I stupidly missed a step and tripped on some hidden tree roots and sprained my ankle! Day 2: Not the greatest of starts and sleeping rough by a water fall didn’t make me feel any less cranky in the morning given the spasms my back was going through just to sit up. However a good breakfast of ships biscuit helped me realize I was determined to succeed at looting the treasure island and getting off alive, no matter the cost to my health. That was until I saw heavy rain clouds on the horizon, no matter what I built today I was going to get wet! I planned better this day, both to build a shelter, go map making again and also explore further around the base of the volcano. Pleased to note I was successful in all endeavors today, even finding extra wood to help with future constructions and some long grass that looks like it will make a good sturdy rope, hallelujah!   Day 3: Soaked through to the bone and now have a chill and feeling totally terrible. Hoping this is just a temporary weakness and nothing serious! Morning light reveals a fine layer of ash over the camp, it’s even thicker to the south where the wind is blowing the a plume coming from the top of the volcano. Time is running out but there may still be enough time to do everything. Friday goes off again exploring west of the volcano and I stay at camp trying to make the rope we desperately need to help explore the temples.  While working I heard some abominable howling from the bushes which in a sudden state of fearing for my life I throw the spear I had been labouring on into the undergrowth thinking some animal was charging me. Nothing emerged through the undergrowth, but later on I couldn’t find the spear so I only had the rope to show for my effort today. Physically exhausted and my hands bleeding I had finished enough rope to help explore the temples more effectively. Luckily Friday had a better day exploring and came back with his hands full of coconuts and a small dead animal which we promptly skinned, barbecue tonight!  Day 4:  No sleep last night as the Volcano erupted last night sending rivers of molten rock down its east face to where we had been camping only days previously! A close call. To make matters even worse the blackest of rains clouds were approaching from the west across the sea… It was not going to be an easy day. Spent the morning fashioning the rope into a sturdy ladder and putting together a makeshift roof for our encampment to try survive some of the downpour. The storm hit mid morning, with a powerful wind raging through the camp, everything was blown away down along the beach. It took the whole afternoon to sort out the damage and retrieve everything, fortunately nothing was lost except more time and my failing energy! In the evening we decided to go down a small hill stone temple we had seen in the grass lands, which must be the first ancient treasure site on my treasure map. Despite breathing in the ghastly stale air we found nothing inside apart from a sealed pot of what looked like some herbal mixture / witch doctor remedy, god only knows what it was meant to do. On the way out I managed to step on some giant snake stretched out across the entrance, we all ran for our lives as it reared up in the entrance. I don’t think we will be back to search that temple any more. Day 5: What a night! The volcano exploded again sending volcanic lava flooding down the south side this time. Also the storm lashed at the camp and so we had to burn most of our store of wood just to stay warm. Yet still my clothes were soaked through by morning!! With the volcano cutting off access to half the island I was beginning to worry I was going to find no treasure before I had to leave the island!  The morning saw little improvement in the weather with even a burst of lightening starting a fire in the grass lands to the east, burning most of the foliage away with it! Maybe I won’t find the wood I need to build my boat to get off the island. In desperation we all starting searching north of the camp to find more wood and the treasure locations marked on my treasure map. Although I find a safe place which might even be far enough away from the volcano for us to make a permanent camp, it’s rocky outcrops look dangerous and strange beast like noises echoing down the mountain passes make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Gathering any sort of resources here might be dangerous. Even worse, Friday didn’t come back tonight and I fear the worst!  Day 6: For the first time since discovering the island I sleep more soundly as the roof holds fast during the night. Not only that but just as I finish breakfast Friday comes stumbling through the undergrowth with a rusty old rifle on his shoulder, he had made it, Lady Luck is certainly starting to veer our way! However, time was running out, I still needed to get enough wood to build a boat to get off this island and find the last two ancient treasure sites noted on my map before this volcano decides to blow up completely. Over breakfast I had had an epiphany, not only could I build a smaller boat, I didn’t need as much wood as I thought I did, I could do it quicker than I initially thought. What a handy man I am!  Friday would search the only undiscovered land north of the volcano in the hope of finding the last ancient treasure site and after building the boat I would search the ruined village he had found when looking for somewhere to take shelter in last night.  Exploring north Friday found the final ancient treasure site, a hidden cave on the coast. Just outside he also found an old satchel of another explorer who goes by the name of Indy and inside was his diary, hopefully it will help us get to the treasure. That afternoon after making a make shift jolly boat I searched through the ruined village with Bowser. Thank god I took him with me, as halfway through the village I was set upon by some shadowy gremlins, what kind of creature are they?? Bowser quickly barred his equally vicious teeth and lay into them before they could do more than just bite my arms a few times. Trouble is I don’t think these are the only ones living here as further into the village I finally found the treasure, a golden ceremonial dish, surrounded by the bones of hundreds I dead animals, more than would feed the few Gremlins that attacked me.  Fortunately I made it back to camp just before the sun went down… only there was no food left… and no wood… Tonight could be very interesting to say the least!  Day 7: After surviving a terrible night with the islands volcano erupting down the west side towards the camp sight and the rain lashing through the exposed shelter our moral was dropping fast… But I clung to the hope that with just one more site explored we could get off this accursed island!  Just as dawn broke through the ash stained sky a horrific howling tore through the camp as the beast I had heard earlier ripped it’s way through our shelter, I barely had time to lift my knife to protect myself before it had launched itself at my throat. Luckily for me the knife penetrated it’s chest and killed it instantly even as it sunk it’s teeth into my shoulder ripping out a chunk of flesh and sinew. It looked like a bigger version of the gremlins I had seen in the village. Even as I knocked the lifeless body off me, loud thunder shook the sky above and lightening struck the trees nearby showering the camp in flames and smoke. The fire quickly burned through the surrounding trees as we scrambles for safety in the upturned jolly boat. As the fires burned out quickly from the rain storm that followed I realized this was it. I had no good clothes left, no good shelter, I was utterly exhausted, hungry, cold and starting to think we wouldn’t make it. Friday snapped me out of it by shoving the boat off and dragging me north to find the final treasure in the coastal cave he had found. Crawling through the entrance of the cave I avoided the left-hand side where Indy’s diary had indicated poisonous spiders would be. Quickly we finding a central cavern where crushed on the side of the rocky wall were the remains of a pirate ship. Finding a gem encrusted rapier and several barrels of burgundy wine we quickly made our exit and ran for the jolly boat we had left on the islands only remaining accessible beach…. Day 8: Floating safely away from the volcanic island, the volcano erupts a final time spewing ash and molten rock high in the air covering the whole island in a thick black cloud. I could only sit and watch, thankful I had made it off alive… with all my treasure!

[ouch-cacti]

Wide on the Meeple City - - We are looking down on Meeple City as the morning sun pierces through the haze to cast two large shadows over several central office blocks…

Meeple City Security camera 361, Nine forty-two am.

She approaches her office block window, her mobile phone to her ear and a fresh morning coffee in hand, only to immediately scream, dropping her coffee and phone, and bringing her hands to her face, stumbling to the floor   —

Boom. Boom. Boom. BOOM. BOOM. The sound of monsters walking through the city. We can hear others in the office block beginning to shout as the whole building begins to shake.

Fear is embedded on her face —

SSSSCCREEEEEECH — the sound of cardboard being torturously broken off the building fills the air as the roof above her head disappears into a cloud of dust and rubble above. The buildings’ roof falls, tumbling through the air — it disappears from view as it hits the ground sending a cloud of dust up into the air, swirling around an imposing large blue shape moving towards the now exposed office floor.

The young military officer shakes her head and tries to feel around the floor for her mobile as fragments of glass and brick RAIN DOWN upon her.

We hear the monster’s roar echo through Meeple City, almost a deafening cheer for the destruction happening all around. CRACK. the side of the building is torn away and the floors start to rise up into the air.

Officer

        Get me the…  ARRrrrrghhhhhh!

She is screaming down her phone as she tumbles across the floor as it buckles and swings beneath her dragging her high up through the air..

Shrieks fill the air as two whole floors of the office block are dragged up through the air. RRrrrrraaaaaagh. The monsters roar rips through the air as its massive mouth extends up through the dust cloud surrounding it, the floors of the building disappear down into the monsters wide open mouth. CRASSSHH its mouth shuts down on the tangled cardboard girders as the Meeples’ shrieks are first muted, then silenced —

Meeple City Police Helicopter camera 2, Nine forty-five am.

3rd Avenue is in view. The remains of a second office block are strewn across the city, TENDRILS OF SMOKE swirl around the base as what seem like survivors are crawling through the debris, their screams echoing through the twisted cardboard. Around them more debris is falling, raining down in front of their eyes.

                    Officer 2

        They came out of nowhere… we need to use everything

        we have, I  don’t care what it takes, get it down here

        now!

He is shouting through his military phone as he takes cover near the base of the another building that has been destroyed.

BOOM. BOOM. Boom. Boom. The whole world shakes as the Meeples of Meeple City collectively scream for their lives. 

Undercover camera, Nine forty-seven am.

A local gangster boss is sitting in his chair, his whole crew with him loading every gun they poses, terror filling their eyes.

WHHAAAAAM! A large green bus flies through the air and slams into the side of the disused factory (home to the local gangster family), through the large windows and out the other side, destabilising it enough so that the whole building collapses leaving the first floor exposed.

A journalist who had infiltrated the gangs crew for a scoop is all that is left of the boss’s crew, and he is now cowering under the boss’s table, insanity has instantly taken hold of him as he screams for his life.

                        Undercover Journalist 1          

         ARrrrggghh, Arrrghhhh!!!  Arrrrrggghhhhhh!!!!

CRASSSHH. A second green bus slams into the build taking the blue journalist with it out the other side. BOOOM. The remains of the building descend into a cloud of DEBRIS flying up into the air.

Screams echo through the city as more vehicles are seen to fly through the air — SCCCREEEAAAACH — the sound rips through the air as a giant hulk of a yellow coach spins through the air at the central offices — followed by the sound of a massive explosion at the base of the building — a rumbling thunder fills the air as the entire office block disappears from view to be replaced with a mighty red monster screaming into the sky —

GGGGGGGTTTHHHIIISSSSONEEEEEEEISSSSMIINNNNEEE!!!!! 

After the guttural sound leaves the air an eerie silence takes hold of the remaining city. Suddenly panic and screams echo up from the last remaining building, the city cinema.

Meeple Cinema Security camera 2, Nine fifty-one .

                     Box Office attendant 

        What do we? What do we do? — There’s no where to

        go, we are all going to die, die! Die I tell you!

The attendant screams at the crowds of young Cinema goers sheltering in the foyer of the Cinema.

Boom. Boom. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.  It is so loud that the sound over takes the screams of the Meeples inside, a deafening shake of the ground as a Red Monster foot finally crashes down in front of the camera, shattering the windows as glass is flung over the crowds cowering inside. Covered in dust they all hold their ears with their hands.

                     Box Office attendant

        No… No.. NO… I won’t die… I won’t die.. not here…

The attendant runs through the foyer into the cinema and down the aisle, she trips on the stairs as the whole cinema slides away under her feet. She also slides down along the floor but just manages to grab a chair leg as the outside walls fall away leaving her dangling out the side of the cinema.

BOOM.  The cinema shakes a second time, so violently as it is ripped from its foundations high into the air.

The Box Office Attendant screams for her life as she clings to the leg of the chair flying through the dust storm and debris and then plummeting down and down into a darkness ringed by 6 enormous teeth.

                     Box Office attendant 

        AAARRRRRGGGGGGgggggghhhhhhh……

Meeple City Police Helicopter camera 2, Nine fifty-nine am.

CRUNCHHHHHH. The whole cinema floor is slowly eaten whole by the gigantic red monster — the Dust and Debris dissipate some what to leave a scene of two gigantic monsters standing over a demolished Meeple City.

KA-BOOM! We can see the back of the police helicopter explode in the air… a spinning view of destruction is all around, the cacophony of a damaged engine and rotor blades whining quickly reach a high pitched deafening scream until….

                                                       The End

Red Monster 39

Blue Monster 30.

[ouch-cacti]

During my Great Grandfathers time exploration had increased significantly to enable our family to exploit the new trade routes to Columbia, Brazil, Ceylon, not including the strengthening of our contacts in the east towards India and the Afghan mountain ranges. With these my family, the Tavernier family had risen quickly amongst the gem houses of Europe and now we were attracting even more Nobles and rich clients to our doors. Now it was well know that we had our rivals, other families that tried their hand at toppling our house from their top place amongst the most prestigious Joailliers. However, I had never thought that it would be my own son that would set out to try and do this, to bring both shame and ruin to my own doorsteps!!

Son: I could buy that couldn't I?

Why would I help my son start his own Gem House, our family had even supplied jewellery to Napoleon Bonaparte! And here he was asking for advice? I was incredulous!

Son: I can buy that, oh I need three blue! I have that don't I! 

Son: Ok I'll get a blue, white and green...

Even as our families trade expanded and our Colombian mines of Emerald, and Ruby mines in India allowed us to buy greater shipping, including the most Splendid Blue Sapphire merchant of Bohemia, my son was plotting our families down fall.

Son: Your go! no its mine! I just need one more green card!

He was even managing to attract some English Noble ladies to his wares but that would not last, most of Europe was in our pocket and he would get no business from the Nobles of France or the Papal States!

Son: Oh so I now need four black ones. If I just get seven red ones I can get that!

Like all sons who try to usurp their fathers place, he was finally put in his place, as our blue Saphires were being cut by Artisans into exquisite new shapes, there was little my son could do, he was out paced and out classed... or was he?

Final score, Father 16, Son 12

(with two more turns he would have got 3 more to get 15) 

[ouch-cacti]

The dust swirled around his mount as Namib Owami halted the camel train at the edge of the wasteland. For here was a good place to start… The sand was already creeping over the low wastelands turning the ground a rusty hue… Here was a good place to set their camp, a place to block the pernicious mermaids swamplands expanding ever further south and thus fulfill the Saharan prophecy of a land born from a single grain of sand and blown to every last corner of the world.

Although Namib was leading his troop he had been one of three Sand Kings at the start of the great exodus. He still hoped the other two had survived like him, for the Saharan prophecy to be fulfilled they would need at least two of the kingdoms to grow and join to become the eternal desert of the sun.

Even though he distrusted the Mermaids queen, trade with them was inevitable and would prove profitable as with each trade Namib’s nomadic shamans could syphon off a little power from the unsuspecting sirenian race. Soon the Namib’s power was on the rise and a mighty fortress of sand stone rose up out of the desert and cast a vast shadow of darkness across great swaths of the desert floor.

The Saharan prophecy was becoming a reality, as already Namib could feel the sand creeping further and further from the base of his stronghold, out across one horizon and on to the next as the sun rolled south through each turn of the tiles. But all was not well, as even though the Saharan sand was powerful more magic was at play here than just Namib’s destiny. To the east there were green witches who appeared over night with their trees rooting firm the sand as the Saharan wind’s grip blasted the ground in vain.

For Namib it was not going to be an easy task and doubt was beginning to creep into his sun soaked mind… was the prophecy a trick, their seer Asertu Sementu had vouched with certainly that in 6 turns of the tiles their land would be the largest and therefore unstoppable. Namib sort out his priest and set him the task of building a temple to the cult of the earth. At the top of the temple there would be three large purple bowls drenched in power, for it was power now that would ensure the prophecy came to pass.

In the deep pools power ebbed and flowed through the bowls as Namib’s priest started to see the future played out, the witches building a large magical bridge across the swollen water that twisted like a viperous snake swimming through the world, and now on the other side there were halflings’ hovels appearing from the north to connect to their lost brothers in the south.

Forewarned Namib set out to thwart both plans. Using the power his priests had collected to help with building, he ordered his own bridge to be created from the sand storms of magic, to connect his brother Sand Kings as they too had survived and were in need of help. The witches foul cry of frustration and anger rippled for hours through the bowls of power as their bridge failed to materialize sinking back into the magic from where it had come.

Even before Namib’s bridge had been travelled over the land to the south had started to dissolve, high mountains reduced to waste and ash as some debased magic of the ground rose up all around. But being forewarned meant Namib had saved the power of his stronghold’s sand drenching Saharan winds for exactly this moment and as the dust settled no wastelands could be seen, only sand dunes for miles around.

The fulfillment of the prophecy was within reach, it could all be his, Namib had but to open his harbors and ports to his brothers on the north too create the prophecy through sheer magical power! But suddenly the bowls of power a top the temple were emptied, the treasury doors flung open empty, all power and chances were gone as the sixth tile had turned and fallen… Nothing more could be done. The halflings despite being stopped in the centre had dug themselves in deep to the core and no surface sand could ever shift them, the land was theirs. Second place was Namib’s, his kingdoms now surrounded by witch infested forests and the swamps of the mermaids. The prophecy had failed, Namib’s power over his people broken… The last grain of sand of his life was spent.

95pts vs 113pts

croydongamers

[ouch-cacti]

Seven legions to rule them all, seven legions to find them, seven legions to bring them all and in the bingo hall bind them!

'All the swords, more swords! All the lords, have their swords!'

It was a dangerous place in Rome, with swords everywhere and at times not a shield in sight. Julius Caesar had already fallen to the back stabbing swords of his fellow Senators and now with the #RiseOfAugustus things were just starting to get hot in the Bingo Hall of Rome, the institution called The Senate!

Ave Caesar!

I Silius Lucretius Nero oppose all other Senators, you are making Rome into a den if Gamblers! Ave Caesar this Ave Caesar that!! Let me lead this Senate and I will clean up this place!… Just before we do clean this Senate up I forgot to mention I propose the annexation of Noricum and Prisidia, Ave Caesarrrrrgghhh…….

Word on the platea was that Silius’ neighbour, Quintin Cassius Eva the well known Roman singer, was responsible for the assassination, something strategical it was said…

It didn’t stop the legions marching though and they still annexed Noricum and Prisidia. However, without a sponsor, half the game, I mean half the battle… was already lost. Sadly the award of pink for bravely taking three pink countries was taken by the rallying cry of, ‘up the parriot, it’s a chariot!’, as Jupiter was not smiling on the 50/50 odds available but had his hand in the cardboard cookie bag… So even when Sophene was annexed and before the dust settled from the battle it was all over…

ouch-cacti 4th, 37 points. croydongamers 3rd, badmeeple 2nd,

Ave Caesar!

[croydongamers]

Yes, I assassinated your senator. I had word from an ally about your annexation which gravely vexed me. Your jingoistic expansionism was of maximus concernus to all of my green countries, and we rose up in action. Stealthily. We are not one for sending in the ground troops.

Still, all my plans were thwarted when my ally betrayed me! The prize for 5 best first-conquered countries was one I had my eye on from you, since I did not think horses were of particular interest to the empire as a tourist attraction. Caesar has commanded all steeds to be returned to Rome, to add to his magnificent warhorse chariot legions.

It is with full recognition of the irony of this situation that I admit defeat to my traitorous ally, when I found no available chariots to claim my 5th kingdom, and so-called ally usurped these same kingdoms from under my very nose.

Well, it was all for nought - I claimed victory over her in the end and she will forever rue the day she betrayed me. When Augustus hears of these petty squabbles at the expense of his grand and greater purpose he will be infinitely displeased.

[ouch-cacti]

Augustus Caesar doesn't give a Sestertius about the petty squabbles of his minor Senators as long as his Empire expands. All are as disposable as an unfilled Bingo card trampled beneath the feet of his many legions! Ave Caesar!