gotta kiss myself im so pretty

im just a rich person who doesnt have any money

[wydelvana]

O-Okay, sorry, I jus’ ————- Talk a lot.

[ouchjoey]

I've noticed. If you're going to talk, make it dirty.

[admirxbles]

Then I guess you better get off of your ass and find the next girl who’s willing to fuck you.

[ouchjoey]

Who said it had to be a girl?

[sxurwxlf-deactivated20150309]

"I never said you were hiding from me, but now I know you were. And that’s what I want you to answer—- -why would you be hiding from me?”

[ouchjoey]

"Is this some sick hobby of yours? Making adorable, handsome young men wish the ground would swallow them up?"

[anacharm]

”Then you’re not getting a blowjob. You’ll see, Joey. Now shut up.

[ouchjoey]

"If I'm about to be lead to my death, I would like my last memory to be of an orgasm. So please, please tell me why I have to follow you"

[scmebdyelse]

Well I guess you’re just going to have to prove that to me, aren’t you? Really, you rescue helpless women? That’s something I’ve got to see. Wow, that was pretty smooth. But how many girls have you used that line on?

[ouchjoey]

Of course. I'll turn on my bat signal, and anytime you need help, bam, I'll be there. Of course I do princess, because I am a gentleman. Wha-- I haven't used that line on any other girls. That was the test drive. 

[mvmories-blog]

"You really underestimate my stubbornness, don’t you? The first condition sounds fine with me, I’ve always been a fan of drive-through. As for the second ones…fine, you know I simply can’t resist those lips of yours. Feel free to plant one on me after.”

[ouchjoey]

"I prefer to think of it as optimism, princess. Drive through it is, but don't expect me to take you somewhere romantic. We're parking in the parking lot like the peasants we are. See, that would be great, but...I like to be paid in advance, so I'm just going to...yeah."

[wydelvana]

What do you me———- Oh.

[ouchjoey]

Please stop talking.

[scmebdyelse]

You’re strong and manly? You seem more the adorable and cuddly type to me, babe. Spiders do fucking suck, but I wouldn’t know anything about the pretty girls part.

[ouchjoey]

I'm offended. Completely, totally offended. I could totally be strong and manly. For all you know, I spend my nights rescuing helpless women from dangerous situations. Hey, no, you know tons about the pretty girls part. After all, you seem like someone who knows herself pretty well.

[mvmories-blog]

"Wow, you truly are so damn selfless. But sorry, no can do. No deal. The truth is I’m way to hungry not to have that meal right now. You can still tag along, if you’d like. I’m sure I’ll find some place to eat at.”

[ouchjoey]

"Fine, fine, you broke me. I'll buy you Mcdonalds, right now. But I have two conditions, okay? One, you let me get drive through and we eat in the car. Two, you kiss me."

[regalhq]

Wasn’t it easier to just, y’know, call some nice chick than to come over here? Also, you suck at keeping promises. 

[ouchjoey]

What's the fun in 'easy'? Hey, you could've turned me away. So you suck at keeping promises too.

[sxurwxlf-deactivated20150309]

"Because I want to. And because you were hiding.”

[ouchjoey]

"I wasn't hiding.Why would I be hiding from you? Pff."

[admirxbles]

Why don’t you do something about it? I’ve come to learn that to most people, that’s one of the many uses of a hand.

[ouchjoey]

I'll admit, I'm pretty good with my hands. But nothing compares to a nice warm body, princess.

[scmebdyelse]

Oh wow, you’re scared of spiders? That’s actually adorable, not many guys would admit to that. There’s nothing wrong with being scared of them.

[ouchjoey]

I'm not adorable. I'm strong and brave and manly. Spiders are my only weakness. Well, spiders and pretty girls.

[alex-pape]

"How did you know? Me and you, together forever."

[ouchjoey]

"Obviously. We're gonna be 80 years old and cuddled up under a blanket on the porch, probably somewhere cliche like Long Island."

[anacharm]

”Won’t you, at least, ask me on a date first?” 

[ouchjoey]

"I don't do dates. I also don't follow psychotic women to mystery locations, so mind telling me where we're going?"

[wydelvana]

Well, uh ——- How would you pay me back?

[ouchjoey]

How about you just let me show you?

[mvmories-blog]

"Ain’t that always the way? — Listen, you and I both know that I’m not high maintanence. I’ll even settle for a couple of things off the dollar menu at McDonalds."

[ouchjoey]

"Let's make a deal. I take you home, eat you out until you cry, totally unselfish of me, let you fall asleep in my bed, and then I'll treat you to a McDonalds breakfast."