ouma is a gai agendercute boy fight me

👑 gore/ouma 👑 33 👑 it/faun/vae/🦄/they 👑 good faith inclus 👑 mogai/identities/labels hyperfix blog, includes kin, disability/mental illness, neurodivergent/plural and any other identity or label spaces, not just queer 👑 i sometimes miss tags if i have brainfog or no energy but ur free to shoot me a message to remind me or ask to tag a certain post! 👑 sometimes reblog discourse posts but i rarely engage w it 👑 follow from cremo 👑 flag by colresstheticflags, icon by lusaminepridecons 👑

[ravioliet]

hello allo tumblr user, just out of curiosity why are you always saying "aroace people can still choose to date and have sex!" and never "allo people can still choose not to date or have sex!" just out of curiosity of course! come closer! i just wanna talk! come closer!

[ravioliet]

hello allo tumblr user why is it that whenever discussing aspec people you always feel the need to bring up that asexuals can be perverts and make the best smut fics or nsfw art? or that aromantics can participate in fandom shipping and write really good romance? why is that? can we reflect on the implications that aspec people have to prove their worth to you by conforming in a way that entertains you? can we talk about this? come closer! come closer!

[ravioliet]

hi not to put you on blast or anything but this is also something i've thought about before because it's really not fair to you and other people with similar experiences either! it really sucks for both ends of the spectrum because in the end they really don't care about any of us no matter if we're favorable or repulsed and it's so exhausting like we can really never win unfortunately

[rockandrollforinitiative]

[renthony]

As a nonbinary intersex person, I feel like I'm always trying to balance on the knife's edge between "I believe that anyone should get whatever hormones and surgery they want, no questions asked, with no shitty barriers" and "...but some of y'all are really edging into truscum/transmedicalist territory, I really need people to stop equating the term 'transition' with 'HRT, surgery, and nothing else,' and I am begging other trans people to do way more work in deconstructing their binary view of gender, because if one more trans person says something exorsexist and/or intersexist to me about my body, I AM going to fucking snap. Stop gendering my body and trying to dictate what transition should mean for anyone who isn't your own damn self."

[renthony]

I really wish it was easier to say, "hey, transmedicalists have put a shitty amount of pressure on me and several of my other nonbinary friends to transition in a way that doesn't suit us, and the emphasis a lot of trans spaces put on HRT and surgery can be super uncomfortable as an intersex person who has had doctors try to tell me I should get hormone treatments to 'fix' my body."

But people get touchy and reactive about that conversation, because of how many bigots are doing the "omg trans people are FORCING their DIRTY HORMONES on our CHILDREN!" narrative.

I never want to accidentally contribute to that moral panic. But at the same time, as a nonbinary intersex person, some trans people really fucking do pull the "oh my god you have to get HRT and surgery in order to be VALID and REAL like ME!" shit.

And it's hard to navigate sometimes, y'know?

[renthony]

These thoughts are on my mind today because I'm reading an anthology of trans-focused comics. A significant number of them are "how I got my surgery/HRT and started feeling like a Real Trans Person" narratives.

The authors haven't done anything shitty in telling their stories. These stories are important to share. But it's hard not to notice that I've yet to see a story like mine, where the journey of self-love comes through learning that body parts have no gender, that my body does not determine my identity, and that I don't have to alter it in order to fit binarist, truscum, intersexist ideas of what I should look like. My body can just exist without intervention. I don't need to do anything to it unless I want to, and the fact that I don't want to does not make me any less trans, nonbinary, or intersex.

It just gets kind of exhausting and alienating to see endless "trans empowerment is through SURGERY and HORMONES!!!!" stories, without much variation.

I wasn't born in the wrong body. I don't feel trapped in my body. My body is already nonbinary, because I am nonbinary.

[crabussy]

trans women and trans men and nonbinary people and everyone else being friends and holding each other close and falling in love and thinking of each other. I'm making this my future. let's all be okay together

[homoidiotic]

Trans activist Jamison Green's passport photos before and after HRT. Left he's age 32 (1980) Right age 41 (1989) after being on testosterone for one year (x)

(read his autobiography here for free)

[homoidiotic]

updated the link to his autobiography because it was broken! here's some more pictures of him (first is mid 90s, second 2013 and last 2024)

there's an interview with him from 2017 along with some information about his life and activism. and he was interviewed on a podcast here. he's not super well known but has been a really important trans activist for decades

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[scribefindegil]

Yeah, exactly! There are many different forms of intimacy, physical and emotional, and we need to stop viewing non-sexual forms of intimacy as inherently lesser.

And also you're right that while this post is specifically about the asexual experience, these problems affect everyone; desire gaps, whether temporary/circumstantial or ongoing, affect many if not most long-term relationships. And the solution needs to reaffirm bodily autonomy and compassion for everyone, not just carve out a specific exception for ace people. Too frequently I see people and institutions that, even when they're attempting to be affirming, essentially say "Well this is what a committed relationship Needs To Look Like . . . unless you already id as ace I guess" instead of allowing their general idea of what relationships can look like to expand and become less prescriptive.

No one should be pressured into sex they don't want. This should be a basic and non-negotiable tenet of feminism. But it goes out the window as soon as it's in the context of a committed relationship that isn't otherwise abusive.

[genderarryire]

Cumberhellenic:  a gender that feels cumbersome and related to hell, fire, light, or heat mostly Cumberseanic: a gender that feels cumbersome and related to the ocean, corals, deep trenches, and water.

[teathattast]

[galacticjonah]

Fix your hearts or die.

You know how many of us joke that Pride month should be followed by Wrath? Well, this year I feel a deep, burning fury towards all who use transgender lives as political propaganda, bargaining chip or something to be debated and decided on without any of us in the room.

We are human beings. You cannot erase us.

Happy Pride. Trans liberation at any cost.

[en8y]

[IMAGE ID: NUMBER rectangular flags with seven evenly-sized horizontal stripes each. each of them have these top three stripes: dark olive green, bright green, and warm grey. the first flag has these bottom four stripes: peach, neon pink-purple, dark blue, and black. the second flag has these bottom four stripes: dull yellow, dull blue, dull purple, and hot pink. the third flag has these bottom four stripes: light yellow, light grey, light blue, and warm pink. END ID.]

extinclyfluid: a gender that is both extinclypse and genderfluid. being both a cataclyst/endling and genderfluid; being a genderfluid cataclyst/endling.

extinclyfluix: a gender that is both extinclypse and genderfluix/fluidflux. being both a cataclyst/endling and genderfluix/fluidflux; being a genderfluix/fluidflux cataclyst/endling.

extinclyflux: a gender that is both extinclypse and genderflux. being both a cataclyst/endling and genderflux; being a genderflux cataclyst/endling.

@radiomogai @liom-archive @obscurian @dragonpride17 @birdlistening2music

[en8y]

extinclypse - from extinc(tion), (cata)clys(m), and (apoca)lypse

an umbrella term for identities centered around the apocalypse, destruction of nature or creatures, the end of the human race, radiation, remains of junk, pollution, man-made objects or catastrophes, technology, codes and coding, lines of numbers, and The Extinction from The Magnus Archives! can be connected to the umbrella term mislypec, but isn't inherently related to it.

extinclysphy - equivalent of masculinity/femininity extinclysine - equivalent of masculine/feminine cataclyst/endling - an extinclypse person CATASTIN - extinclypse-in-nature extintic - gender alignment affextinca - (extinclypse4extinclypse; cataclyst4cataclyst) an extinclypse person being attracted to another extinclypse person. transtinclyst - transitioning into extinclysphy extaclyst - an extintic gender

inspired by @radiomogai's umbrellas; occunous, imosril, and chokrypt!

@buntress @electrosaccharine @3clipse-eats-deodorant @browzerhistory @harts-hoard @petramaeic @absc-hoard @honey-makes-mogai @yay-im-a-catgirl @plutobie @liom-archive @madly-motley @in-nature-archive

[balaclava-trismegistus]

I cannot produce the words to describe how deeply I am disgusted by the way a lot of people talk about being nonbinary as a temporary stepping stone to becoming "full-trans."

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It's "he says he's bisexual, which is what people say six months before they come out as gay" all over again.

[earhartsease]

fortunately at least there's a good percentage of trans people who "detransition" to then transition properly as nonbinary later

but yes we bloody hate this thing in both those guises, having come out as bi in the 80s

[fenmere]

We didn't even detransition. Trans girl was a stepping stone to coming out as trigender six months later, and we kept going with everything. Just added more pronouns. We didn't get any of our surgeries until after we declared ourselves enby.

Treating nonbinary as a phase is just bullshitted bigotry.

[spirgender]

🌠↦ hestiveniir:

a spiritine-in-nature [SPXIN] identity directly connected to being a devotee/worshipper of Hestia. this could include gender, presentation, or any other part[s] of one’s identity, but can only be understood in the context of venerating Hestia.

requested by: nobody :)

coined by: quinn (ze/they) 🕯️

tags: @radiomogai @liomangel @theangeliclibrarian @goregender @religious-archive @spiritine-archive

[punkitt-is-here]

Hello person having transgender thoughts but convinced they aren't trans because they don't have the requisite amount of dysphoria they think they need

Hi I transitioned without even thinking I had dysphoria. Like later in hindsight I can go "oh that's probably what it was" but for the first year of my transition I was straight up like "I like being a guy but I like being a girl WAY more" and you can do that!! There is no prerequisite amount of suffering needed to make yourself happier.

[punkitt-is-here]

Gonna include these tags cuz they're good

[slightlymodifiedprideflags]

Asexual 💫

These are pride flag redesigns! Our flags are permanently completely free-to-use, always! This includes a brown chevron for people of color.

Asexuality is a spectrum / umbrella term in which a person requires certain criteria be met to experience sexual attraction, or generally experiences limited sexual attraction / none at all. Asexuality is independent from Aromantic, but many identify with both at the same time.

[spirgender]

🌠↦ heraveniir:

a spiritine-in-nature [SPXIN] identity directly connected to being a devotee/worshipper of Hera. this could include gender, presentation, or any other part[s] of one’s identity, but can only be understood in the context of venerating Hera.

requested by: nobody :)

coined by: quinn (ze/they) 🕯️

tags: @radiomogai @liomangel @theangeliclibrarian @goregender @religious-archive @spiritine-archive

[trangoldin]