Our Aroace Experience

Share your aspec stories! mod uses they/them & any neopronouns

[our-aroace-experience]

welcome to our aroace experience!

this is inspired by @our-queer-experience and @our-sapphic-experience

This blog is specifically for anyone on either the asexual or aromantic spectrums or anyone questioning! feel free to send in asks or tag me in anything aspec related!

of course any hate or exclusion isn’t welcome here

[our-aroace-experience]

I'm here as a lil vent about feeling erased by the community I'm cupioaroace and honestly no one ever thinks that we exist in the aro and ace community everyone treats it like we all should be repulsed or we're not aroace it makes me feel like shit

you definitely belong in the community! not all aroaces are repulsed by romantic/sexual situations!

[our-aroace-experience]

attraction is difficult if you share a brain with others, their own identities clashing with your own.

i’m sure that can definitely make things confusing

[our-aroace-experience]

I wanted to know if it's aroace to get excited with suggestive videos or really love shipping even with little to no interaction but be like "ew i don't want any of that!!"

it sounds like you may want to look into the aegosexual/ aegoromantic labels!

[our-aroace-experience]

can you be bi and use aro flux? Idk what kind of aro I am and will randomly feel attraction that suddenly disappears

like between grey and demi?

yeah you can definitely do that! use whatever labels feel best!

[our-aroace-experience]

if I experience romantic and sexual attraction VERY rarely (but still do) do I fit into the aroaceflux label?

that sounds like you could be greyromantic and greysexual, but if aroaceflux feel best go with it!

[ninaheta]

Happy Pride!

[our-aroace-experience]

I always had this question hope you can help :), am I asexual if I do get turned on but I don't want to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone. For example, I love to read smut, but I don't want to have sex with anyone (and I never had that desire)

yeah that’s completely valid! you could look into aegosexual as well if you wanted!

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi! I just have a small question. I’ve been labeling myself a an aroace lesbian. for a while now, is that okay? every now and then I will have romantic feelings for someone (only ever girls). Like it’s very rare for me to actually develop crushes on people, but when I do it can be really confusing lol. Does this still mean I’m valid? And it’s not just like I’m demiromantic, the first crush I ever had, I barely knew the person. Just wanted to know.

you can use whatever labels you want, and however you want to use them!

that being said, you could look into greyromantic if you wanted, it might fit with your experiences, but being an aroace lesbian is 100% valid on its own!

[our-aroace-experience]

its sad because sometimes i envy my friends who like,,, have people attracted to them and who are in loving relationships.

at the same time though i get sick imagining having to be romantically or sexually intimate but like,, i dont think anyone would ever be interested in a qpr with me

its a bit lonely lol

i hope you’re able to find a qpr if that’s something you want!!

[our-aroace-experience]

I’m so proud to be aroace!

im so glad!

[our-aroace-experience]

If you don't take asks from people who aren't aroace feel free to ignore this.

I just wanted to say that I'm in a queerplatonic relationship with an aroace person and I'm so so happy about it! I love this guy so much and he loves me so much but it's not normal boring /lh romantic love, no, it's a special kind of nonromantic nonsexual love and isn't that the coolest thing ever. AroAce people, you are the coolest <3

i’m so happy for you! best wishes to you and your partner!

[our-aroace-experience]

Hey I'm just newly accepting and discovering myself and I found aro-ace flux describe me a lot but I just found the term off the internet and idk if it's an accepted term? Idk I don't know a lot about these stuff

thats definitely a term you can use!

[our-aroace-experience]

it really bugs me how i can't compliment anyone without some dumbass going "dO yOu hAvE a cRuSh oN tHeM?" i hate amatonormativity.... why can't i call my friends good-looking platonically😭

compliments are definitely not inherently romantic, sorry you’re dealing with people who think they are!

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Attraction, types and signs!

Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).

Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction.

Sensual or physical attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.

Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships.

Intellectual attraction: the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves. Can be known as Sapiosexual EDIT: I have been informed to not use sapiosexual as it has abelist history/intent, please check the reblogs for better names/terms!!

Source 1 source 2 Illustrations by Yaja’ Mulcare source 3

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

This is the newer addition that I did at the time folks- unfortunate haiku found the one that I hadn’t edited (as it was a reblog of the OG so I couldn’t) so here’s the one with full info intellectual attention

[our-aroace-experience]

This might seem weird, but I identify as bisexual, though lately I have been questioning being aroace (I have never been in a relationship or even felt a romantic/sexual attraction to anyone I know in real life it’s always people I can never be with like celebrities/fictional characters) so how do I know for sure?

unfortunately there is no perfect way to know for sure, but i’d say if the label feels good then try using it for a while and see if it sticks! you can also be bi and aroace if you want!

[our-aroace-experience]

I remember as a kid getting annoyed that there were so many love and breakup and lust songs out there, and turning to my mother one day and asking why was that the only thing the singers ever talked about, and if they couldn't sing about other things, like cars. My mother told me I was just too young to understand, but tbh, I think I should have realized then I was aroace lol

it is true that there are a lot of songs about romance though!