Kris Siwak @ourboatsdontfloat-blog - Tumblr Blog

How do you restart. Suicide. Disappear, rebuild.

Or just suck it up. Be a man and just stop being sad.

Alone again ..... Honestly I'm such a loser. I put myself into these positions and maybe it's time for this position to never happen again.

Will the pain and bad thoughts ever go away.

Might be time to just call it quits and restart.

The lonely era, or the throw away era. No one is perfect or will be.

The idea that if you are annoyed you can just throw it away or run away is insane to me. Tiktok, tinder, Instagram, Facebook. All a poison that will drain you from reality and allows you to live in your lala land and be delusional.

I definitely think I was born in the wrong era. 31 years old and facing the fact I will never get what I dreamed of. I work hard, I put energy into life daily. I pivot constantly to face adversities. But it doesn't matter anymore. You either have to fuck people over or be added into the circle by someone else.

Anyway that's my rant for today, see you next tiwm

#lonely

Are we just wasting time. You obviously hate me or at least are extremely annoyed of me. I do try and make a effort, bring you sweets, rub your feet, try to make physical touches that are loving not sexual. I try to be happy. I just want a cheerleader, someone to try and make me happy, someone who doesn't just complain.

I work hard to make our life work. I try so hard to make you happy. But I'm broken , completely destroyed. I don't want to live half the time.

Just a loser , forever sad, forever going to lose.

Why are you even with me, to use me. Is it cause you feel like it would too hard. Do I baby you that much. Do I allow for all of this to happen, am I not a asshole enough.

I just give up. I want to be stolen. I want to be.....

I finally realized, no one cares about you or what happens to you. You come into this world alone and you leave alone.