nothing is as it seems

cat - 31 - i will rise as the whole damn fire 🔥

[privatelydiscoveredmoments]

[geocaprican]

[sexhaver]

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

[fernthefanciful]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[fullmetalfisting]

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

[nymphoutofwater]

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

[sanctoinlitore]

[misophonie]

does anyone know how to stop the yearning and longing and lingering and the desire and obsession. please. please. please. please. please

[63]

Love when men order a "small black coffee." And I bet you wanna get fucked in the ass too huh

[ceebeelamb]

[1anonyymous1]

big fan of anything that shuts my brain off for a little while

[espixm]

you ever just want someone sooooooooo bad

[disgustinggf]

i need to get laid. laid to rest

[itsbetterthananal]

every time a coworker says “have you lost weight?” i look at them with a concerned face and say “not purposefully” so maybe it’ll get through to them that you shouldnt comment on someones body, really, ever. i actually have lost weight cause im feeling depressed and basically only eating handfuls of veggie straws. thats not healthy. you never know if weight loss or gain is unhealthy or healthy so maybe shut the fuck up?

[inked-up-gentleman]

Not to sound slutty but I would fold your laundry for you

[maisonmimosa]

[omtai]

they need to invent a running away & never coming back that doesn’t affect your life

[cardentist]

generally speaking when it comes to mental and physical health, if you're asked "do you struggle with this" and your answer is "no, Because I Have A System," then your answer is actually yes

[narliee]

don't ever leave me. i wasn't planning on it.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

being a writer is so wild. Like I could make Shrek and Captain America kiss if I wanted

[icannotgetoverbirds]

How many notes does this need until you write this crackfic, op?

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

If this reaches 10K I’ll write it

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Quick, somebody say something totally unhinged or make a haiku!

[icannotgetoverbirds]

also. followers. queue this up.

apologies if those aren't your pronouns op, I couldn't find any on your blog.

[willowplantcat]

@100percentevil do ya thang