Our Struggles

Hey! This is going to be a safe space for every binary or nonbinary trans person as well as questioning fella who wants to ramble about the problems as well as the comfortable and nice things that they experience in regards of their gender identity or transition. You can send something in through the ask box and it'll be published in an anonymous post, or submit directly because I have been fairly inactive. If you don't mind, add what you identify as so I can put it in the tags. Always feel free to ask me to tag some trigger warnings! About the blogowner: Parker Valentine, a pansexual who has gone through a long time trying to find out about his gender, but is now confident in saying that they identify as "I don't even know" with rather masculine presentation. Kik me anytime you want to talk, the username is yup_only_me header is by afro83.tumblr.com and the new backgrounds are from colorfulgradients.tumblr.com

[ourgenderconfessions]

I'm nonbinary and after two years of searching, I finally found a name I like, but the moment I told one of my closest friends that, he went "yeah... I'm still gonna call you _____" which really hurt me. I mean, he's not the best of people, but I've been friends with him for a long time, how do I get him to call me by the right name?

In my eyes, it's either he gets his shit together and does it or you gotta drop him like a hot potato, even though that sounds very harsh and also is a very hard thing to do. Explain to him that he's being a dickhead and making you feel like shit by doing what he is, and that you wouldn't like to but that you will stop talking to him if he continues to make you uncomfortable. People who purposely do something that you asked them not to are not worth your time and certainly aren't good for you to keep around. If they really liked you as much as you deserved they should at least try.

[ourgenderconfessions]

Hey, I know this might not be the blog to ask but URGENT is it safe for me to take full body spanx (like from chest to thigh like a tight slimming dress) and fold it up over my chest to bind? It doesn’t hurt and I can breathe fine in them, I’m just not sure if it will cause problems?? I want to wear it and bind at school but I’m scared

Hey, sorry this is a very late reply probably as I have been offline for ages due to personal life. I'm gonna reply anyways for other people wondering. First of all, it is only ever 100% safe to bind with a binder of the right size, and then never for too long. Everything else can always potentially be damaging. Still, I know that many people want to Bind regardless, due to not being able to buy a binder. Shape wear should be okay for that, if worn like intended. If you feel comfortable and have no (!!!!) restriction in breathing, you could fold it over once, but not at all more. And do not wear it for too long. Over all, I think the best alternative would be to go for a sports bra, I used to put them on backwards so the stretchy over the chest part was in the back and the sturdier material in front. Please bind safely guys, I don't want anyone of you hurt.

[rich12yag]

Hit me up!

Don’t post much, just past art and writing , but want to help others, so hit me up with asks, am super open if want to know about me/my identitys, and give great advise, warning though can’t spell to save my life and won’t put up with discrimination

[ourgenderconfessions]

I just spent about two hours trying to create a small comic. My first actual digitally drawn one. Here's a sneak peak/ the Fuck up that happened when I Went to save it. FML

[ourgenderconfessions]

I'm an ftm guy and the “only daughter“. Forever I felt guilty just for being myself because my parents would always say how happy they were to have a daughter, but I wasnt that. So if youre trans or non-binary and you feel this way, you shouldn't have to feel guilty for being yourself.You cant help who you are or how you feel. And I'm sorry you have to go through the same thing.

[ourgenderconfessions]

It's ironic being a feminine ftm nonbinary person that the last thing I hate is actually my body. I'm still menstruating, I still have boobs, I have a quite feminine shape on top of being short (5'0"), deadnamed aaalll the time but I almost never offended by that??? Idk probably I'm just a transtrender or smth smh am I really trans!?!? If anything I'm actually more scared of the restrictive male gender norms, I hate the fact that I can't ACT like a man more than my body looks and I dont want T!

I’m very sorry that I can’t actually tell you what you are, but to me you sound pretty sure of your own gender so that’s a good start! What I can tell you though is that you don’t need to hate your body to be trans, don’t need to take hormones, and you also don’t need to act super manly! Me for example, I’m a super flamboyant person that is usually seen as feminine when I’m being open and in a good mood. I also don’t wanna be grouped in with the expectation for the basic white boy™ or the predatory male and am scared that one day, people will take me as that. It’s not a bad thing to not wanna be a norm!

[ourgenderconfessions]

I use diff pronouns and name but I was talking about me being a Demiboy but the other person said that I'm just being stupid and is just trans bc I prefer to use a more masculine name for me ?? Am I trans??

Here's one thing I like to say when I hear that people doubt themselves due to others: Remember that you are not invalid just because someone says you are. Just because they don’t think being demiboy exists, or that "you dont present right" doesn’t mean you can’t be one. Being nonbinary, being a demiboy, being a gender, doesn't look or act a certain way. Only you can tell what you really are, but if you feel that something is right for you, nobody else should be able to tell you it isn’t. So proudly continue to identify as what you feel and Fuck what everyone else thinks.

[ourgenderconfessions]

Hi. So I think I'm genderfluid because sometimes I feel masculine and other times I feel feminine but when I ask myself what gender I am I'm like I don't know. Would that make me a gender? Also in order to be a gender do you not have any gender specific qualities or can you identify with no gender but still have masculine and feminine qualities? Is masculine/feminine different than gender. I think I might be agender

Hey fella! It sounds like you very well May be agender, because it’s exactly what it says it is: not feeling like you have a gender. Which way you like to present is totally irrelevant, there’s females who present masculine or androgynous, males who present feminine, nonbinaries who present masculine… you name it! What you like to wear or act like doesn’t influence your gender. But if you would want to identify as genderfluid, that’s totally fine too. Do what makes you happy.

[ourgenderconfessions]

Hey, I hope to be back!

I know, I’ve been absent for quite some time. It’s been for a lot of reasons that are mostly uninteresting probably. But now I really want to post your questions and confessions again, so I’m gonna start out queuing some things up again :) let’s hope I can keep it up. Also, damn, I can't believe it's become So many of you since I was on last! I kinda feel like I'm the parent in 101 dalmatians. ~Val

[transgooglesearches]

How to be 6"4 and transition successfully

[ourgenderconfessions]

By just being you. Go ahead and rock being a tall girl. Go ahead and rock being a small boy. Go ahead and rock your body size no matter what your gender is.

[ourgenderconfessions]

Hi, I am AFAB and I have bien questioning my gender and while I feel agender I also fluctuate between gender neutral and feminine. Is there a gender identity that matches with this?

Hey you, well I can't quite tell you what you are, but my first ideas for terms that might fit you are agenderfluid or agenderflux. Also, you could take a look at that handy collection of genderflux symbols I reblogged one or two posts ago! Maybe that will help you!

[ourgenderconfessions]

Hello there! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit. I'm certain I'm Ace, but I dunno about gender and my romantic orientation (or however you call it). At first, I was non-binary (agender) but I noticed sometimes I felt more masculine and sometimes more feminine (Never full on boy or girl though). Also, for romantic orientation (?) I would date anyone but boys but I haven't felt romantic attraction? I'm very confused. Thanks for the help!

For the gender: hey, you kinda sound like me, and I'm librafluid! It's a more specific term for a gender fluid person who sometimes leans towards male or female. Maybe you might generally wanna take a glimpse at fluid identities and see if you find one that just clicks with you :)Romantic attraction: the most used term for attraction to multiple, but not all genders is poly, maybe that's for you? And I can't tell about the variables that need to be true for you to feel attracted to someone, obviously, but if you rarely ever feel any romantic attraction for someone or haven't yet, you could be Demiromantic (you only feel attraction after a strong bond) or grey-aro (you usually don't feel romantic attraction, but it might happen in some cases). Those lie on the aro-ace spectrum, so if you wanna look for something similar but not quite that, that's another thing you can check out :)

[genderfluxmango]

I have been experimenting a little, hope you beautiful people like these 

[ourgenderconfessions]

Could you do a lesbian pride bracelet? (I'm talking about the flag that has different bars in shades of pink, magenta, and maroon)

I'm so sorry but I don't have the colours for it and I don't know if Sammi has either the time or the colours :/

[ourgenderconfessions]

I'm so goddamned stressed about finding my gender. I'm freaking out, trying to pick and choose from different labels, not even caring about anything else. Ugh I wish this was much simpler! I just can't just not care and I don't know why Little note from the owner: my best tip is don't worry that much my little fella, I know it's hard to find a matching label, but you will eventually. It's not that bad to not have one, and though it can be uncomfortable to not be able to describe your gender, it shouldn't be the primary thing you think about. The most important thing is finding out how you're comfortable. And if you do have to find a label, I suggest you try looking through gender masterposts where people describe a lot of different genders, maybe you'll find one that fits just right.

[ourgenderconfessions]

okay hi my name is ramsey and i need a gender neutral name for the masculine sex ,,, i thought maybe cayden ? im not good with this stuff so i need as many submissions as i can get please (:

Oh my, I personally suck at finding names, but maybe one of our followers has an idea? Also here is a short list of gender neutral names I found when I searched on tumblr: http://thatfabulousfatgirl.tumblr.com/post/112392927518/a-list-of-gender-neutral-names

[ourgenderconfessions]

I wish there was more non-binary representation. In shows, movies, video games, books. Anything. Literally ANY non-binary representation in any media would be so great.