Prime Example of What Not To Do

21 | male | pan | 179.5 cm | SW: 230 lbs | CW: 146.2 lbs | LW: 109.4 lbs | GW:??? lbs | BMI: 20.2 | not pro | drug addict | sex worker | 18+

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

I beat the system lmao. Diet G&Ts. A lil xan + these = I don't hate myself that much lol.

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

So I was gone for a hot second. Soz :(. Hope everyone is okay.

I've been fucking up and binging a lot lately. I'm off drugs so it's really hard not leaning on drugs to regulate my emotions. Food is like the only thing that feels good at the moment. Even if it just makes me feel awful afterwards. I'm so fat right now and I hate it.

Intake: green tea (1), gum (8), diet coke and vodka cans (284), double gin and tonic (175 approx), gin and tonic (171 approx). Probably went over my estimate but fuck it, it's my friend's birthday.

On a mission to get skinny again. I feel like I can't go outside because I'm too fat.

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

I don't know how many calories I'll be eating today. My parents are making me eat home cooked food in front of them and stay with them after I've eaten it. Probably a good thing because I feel like shit but also a bad thing because I'll feel like shit. Gonna try and make up for it by fasting as long as I can.

I'm deferring uni until October to deal with drug recovery, mental health issues and my ED.

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

I actually feel hungry today.

Gross.

[sunflowersandhappycolours-deact]

In case you need this today

- you are not a failure - you are not a waste of space - you are loved - you are wanted - i believe in you - you can do it

[lostwinter-girl-deactivated2019]

I need some blogs to follow!💕

Reblog/like if 3 apply:

You’re an ED blog (required)

You follow me😜

You’re 18+

NOT PRO ANA (no tips, masterlists, meanspo, sweetspo)

You’ve had your ED for 5+ years

You have other mental illnesses (I’m bipolar)

You don’t post a lot of kpop

[forever-delicate]

#My Squad

[skintealol]

me: *binges on shit for 2 days*

my ed: >:(

me, laughing nervously: its good to fluctuate calories and eat more sometimes .. to help metabolism… right?

my ed, cocking a gun:

[spasticskeleton]

[nicotine-diet]

I made my first ED meme

[dyingforthekpopbody]

me:

eating disorder:

[ivsolutions]

Shoutout to all you guys and gals who have an eating disorder and are/were higher than 200 pounds.

YOU ARE VALID!

[dontcryjustlie]

my hand keeps slipping

[please-dont-eat-the-roses]

My stupid ass running into a blog that uses kg instead of lbs

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

Saturday 23d February.

Intake: 2 protein bars, 1 piece of gum and a sugar free Sprite since I'm going all out.

Had the worst heart pains etc this morning. Took a couple of Valium to try and slow my heart rate a bit and went back to sleep. Then I felt a little bit better but still decided to eat something which helped a lot.

And then I ended up doing speed again to get through the day because I'm a dumbass.

[ourquietlyscreeching-blog]

Breaking My Fast

No amphetamine today yet and I'm feeling grimmmm. My heart is beating so fast and it hurts so much. Thinking I might try eating today and dealing with the consequences later. Or I could just like not because I look bloated for some reason? Like how?

Stuck between not wanting to eat and not wanting to feel like shit and have some energy.

Edit: decided to have a couple of protein bars because they're the only thing in my cupboard.

[getcultured-deactivated20201101]

I owe my body so many apologies