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January Blues

There doesn’t seem to be much sense around me. I had two “official” people from a money matters team – to try to make life easier. That is to try and make my life easier.

All I do is repeat myself. I think I’ve been saying the same old lines since 2013. Nothing moves, happens etc etc.

It gets rather tedious.

To be honest – This country, England, Ireland Scotland – from Paki,, to fuck off back…

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January Blues?

Well, three hospitalisations last year – The next one, well lets say I’m taking keep fit classes.

On my last admission, I was pinned down TWICE. For anyone who doesn’t know what a pin down is let me explain. Ladies take note.

Anyhow, it doesn’t matter who you are. As far as the DSM is concerned its all okay. There is no trust.…

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Who reads this I wonder

Perhaps the spiritually retarded.

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Another Day

Well here I am at a a coffee shop, trying to write on a slow machine. It and that amongst other things tires me. I’ll write and then when I save it on a USB stick read it – There’s blocks missing or it sounds arbitratited. I’m pissed at that so I haven’t bothered.

Wonder if anyone reads this blog…..

Working on a fairytale – but I need a smaller crisis. Its germinating out from life – as usual it…

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The Moment

I haven’t exactly felt the need to write not do I feel the need to endlessly chronicle the nuances that are my life. I tend not to think of even these anymore as its hard to have a mind preoccupied with much other than some regugtating nonsense the minds negativity conjours and think shit — Why me. I love wallowing the incessant nose dive into nowehere fun.

NI’m sat at H’s wondering what my next…

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A Good Slag Heap

I’ve just had a brief telephone tête-à-tête with a tatto parlour.

In all honesty, it’s clear to see my tattoo is SHITE. They gave me a junior tattoist who fcked it up. I didn’t complain, nor did I say anything. Everybody deserves a chance.

I’m a little confused. I’m wondering whether I’ve stumbled upon some polite racists.

Its a dog eat dog world and I’m their shit sandwich.

I’ve left a…

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Just saw this and Cried

I got a message from a friend today that had me in a tiz….Really it just goes to show, how incredibly insecure I can get when my friends appear to “break” a friendship.

It made me chuckle really to know the truth of a heart that can sing a little…Like the bluebird in Bukowski.

Anyhows today I went a bit mad on twitter. I accidently named my friend on a video as I was writing to her and got into…

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Yesterday

I got pissed.

I went to Open Mic Night and leant on T and all was fine again.

Back on Bike – Threw a few insults at posh people and legged it.

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The World and Me

I think if I had ever heard about my life through this blog and had I been normal, I think it would be appropriate to feel – that this person leads a very miserable life :-(

Which is not entirely true.

I write because it helps me in the cathartic sense, and its unfortunate that most of these ramblings are complaints or grudges. I think I did write a bit about falling in love – but heck I seem to…

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20 mins !!

Its taken me 20 minutes to get to this page, and I’m not sure it will last for much longer as this PC is tempermental. Not sure what to write as I’m worried it won’t save.

I woke at 12-1pm today, my meds knocked me out so much. Yesterday I woke at 4pm – to be honest – I don’t like getting up, and I don’t like my days.

I walked into the living room, which was as messy as tyhe kitchen and…

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*sigh*

*sigh* http://wp.me/s34c6x-sigh

Jesus Christ

Second time round on notepad! How funny. Not sure how I managed to delete it – but heck as sods law would have it – I deleted it by mistake probs – must have been in a rush to get ma headphones —-

Anyhow as I said I’ve been meaning to write for a while – perhaps chronicle myself – so that you can get a jist of how I’m coping, managing and admitting to being crap.

The PC is slow,…

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6am

6am http://wp.me/s34c6x-6am

I awoke today with having slept on the sofa – again.

It’s incredibly bright out there today, and I’m feeling okay. I had to check the bank just in case the money had gone through and I needn’t worry about the bills. Unfortunately its all still zilch.

I’m at a standstill in life – although I do know what the best option will be for me for now and that is to keep active by getting a voluntary job…

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Tribal Movement?

Not sure on this — Its very male orientated..Why do men have cars whilst women have?? Are driven?? Take this from an anthropological view point…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hNRtl3Mmao

Not sure I agree with old stereotypes.

Can you be a lady when you want to be? A title should be earnt — Not given out — for nothing but bullshit. Just have to look at the feudal system to see if that has…

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Hurrah!!!

Hurrah!!! http://wp.me/s34c6x-hurrah

News is officially rubbish to all on all counts.

I sat with S after having met her beautiful daughter this morning, just talking about her birthday, plans etc etc. We were the loudest contenders in an otherwise very posh italian scots cafe – Somewhere in Barrowlands. I cycled furiously as S forged ahead – the wind in my hair and I felt as if the bike had wings — Although it was probably a…

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LinkedIn http://wp.me/s34c6x-linkedin

I nearly fell about clutching my belly in agnony and tears over an article from the “fierce tigers” of my once favoured Guardian. They have a way with words – such poetry to my ears.

There are many many groups on LinkedIn that call themselves at the pulse of media – Production Base itself, lets itself down by an ever boring discussion thread which doubles as a Job Centre site. Shame really.

Besid…

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Nausea

Nausea http://wp.me/s34c6x-nausea

Nausea

Well here I am out the nuthouse for the second time this year and to celebrate I ordred elle crapolicous Dominos Large Pizza and scoffed the lot down my unhungry belly for no ther than any reason but to comfort myself.

The slop in hospital must have some serious crap in it and I dare not puke up in case they wanted to add bulimia to an ever increasing list of personaly defects.

I have a…

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Livid - still

Livid – still

Well we’ve approached and seated ourselves into 2014, and frankly there are no absolutes. Frankly with my two hospital admissions all I can recall in my head is that “The lady doth protest too much”.

I’m currently in an unhealthy relationship tempered by a reunion with a fellow friend of the mental sorts. Me and S are very connected and when the maddness kicks in – we’re going to have to…

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