[ indefinite hiatus ] PEGI 18. Not spoiler-free. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't tell me what's it all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
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From the author: It should be obvious because Hakuouki franchise in general isn’t suited for younger audience but just to be sure, please be at least 18 before reading it <3 This fanfic series may contain lots of sensitive topics (including blood, gore, death, smut and so on) so isn’t recomended for readers who may feel hurt by these. But if you are still here and want to enjoy some dark themes with pretty boys and a bit too clever Reader/MC, please have a seat ^^
Chapter 12: Hikikomori
You have a feeling it’s been months since they’ve thrown you into the dungeons – commonly named „the room” by them. Without the calendar on the wall, you’ve completely lost track of time. The only things defining the flow of time for you have been sunsets, sunrises and regularly delivered meals.
Is this what the prisoners feel when they have to go through the process of resocialization? Right, if they sentenced you to death, you’d probably be feeling more like a prisoner soon-to-be getting rid of by the country on an unknown date. At least you’re in a situation where you don’t need to fret for your life anymore.
However, even though you used to complain a lot about your job, now you have to admit that without it, you just don’t know what to do. Because how much can you actually rest? When working, humans find a goal in their life and the feeling that their doings hold any meaning. The problem appears the moment you work from dawn till dusk, with no breaks for lunch, or in the company of such annoying coworkers that one may as well off themselves.
And if you are to be completely honest with yourself, you really miss it – or just any – job now. Maybe you’re a typical workaholic, who knows. In the end, even when you were doing something for free, you always give it your all, not rarely bringing unnecessary stress on yourself.
Shame that instead of noticing your good intentions and put them to use, Hijikata decided to depart to the other side of the world – for your nineteenth centuries’ calculations, at least. Osaka may not be as far away as Tokyo (or rather Edo); still, getting there requires much more time than in your world.
You sigh heavily, massaging your aching neck. You’ve tried to change positions during sitting to avoid muscle atrophy. But it’s not like you’ve had that many options to choose from – the room’s small and if you wanted to walk from one side to another, you’d only make a few steps.
Finally, your boredom reaches its peak, winning against your fear of getting punished. It’s not like anyone may use any reprimands on you right now – the NPC Hijikata and the NPC Sannan are in Osaka on a mission anyway. Without them, it may be a bit less lively here but it doesn’t seem like any of the captains are going to be harsh on you… even Okita.
That’s why, you look through the window and – after making sure no one’s around – you go sightseeing. Most of the places are already quite well-known to you by now but you suffer from a lack of company – and this has been rather sparse, as when the vicecommander headed south, the captains have been slacking off with their watch; it wasn’t once or twice for them to leave you alone, probably thinking you won’t try stepping out of the room anyway.
From the author: It should be obvious because Hakuouki franchise in general isn’t suited for younger audience but just to be sure, please be at least 18 before reading it <3 This fanfic series may contain lots of sensitive topics (including blood, gore, death, smut and so on) so isn’t recomended for readers who may feel hurt by these. But if you are still here and want to enjoy some dark themes with pretty boys and a bit too clever Reader/MC, please have a seat ^^
Chapter 11: Sabishii
It's been half an hour since your gaze has been glued to the screen. Only this is lighting up your small monotone room; everywhere that the light doesn't reach, remains drowned in the dark.
You blink, then rub up your tired eyes. Not good, you're starting to drift away. You should finally finish and save it, instead of reflecting on it all the time. Nothing good will come out of waiting.
"...I've tried, I've really tried," you say, typing simultaneously. How pathetic it sounds, when you read it out loud. "But I can't anymore."
You swallow down. A pressure blooms in your chest that you can't exactly describe. But with every breath you take, the more pain you feel. Is that what it feels like to have your heart broken?
You shake your head, still writing. You can't just give in to the overwhelming feeling of being hopeless. Not when you are creating something so important.
"I'm sorry for everything; for all those days, months, years being... well, me. I've messed it up so badly; I've disappointed you. I'm so sorry." The invisible rope tightens around your throat as the tears are running up to your eyes; and yet, you continue on. "I haven't thought that there'll be a day when I'll finally write to you, you know? I've hated you for so long. And now... It seems like it didn't make sense. Because the one who's been a magnet for trouble is me. It's because of me the things always ended up the same way."
You take a deep breath. Do it. Finish the letter; this shitty tearful confession no one's going to read out. Don't be a coward.
"Do we have any influence on our future? I don't know." Your fingers keep on tapping nervously on the keyboard, creating a word by a word, a sentence by a sentence. "The only thing I know is that you're the best that's happened to me. I fucking miss you terribly."
Author's note: I think it's obvious since Baldur's Gate 3 in general isn’t suited for younger audience but just to be sure, please be at least 18 before reading it. This fanfic series may contain lots of sensitive topics (including blood, violence, gore, death, smut and so on) so it isn’t recomended for readers who can feel hurt by these things. But if you are still here and want to enjoy some dark themes, please take a seat ^^
Chapter 7
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Now, when you are already past your first night, the task of setting up a camp seems much easier. However, before you start doing it, you come up with an idea. When you look at the corpses scattered around the gate, you think first of the fire starter – there’s no hiding it. But next you come to conclusion that you should search them through before it – maybe goblins don’t wear elegant outfits and aren’t known for wearing jewelry but it doesn’t mean they have nothing useful with them.
In darkness, this can pose a big challenge though – you don’t have that good eyesight, even for a half-drow. That’s why you are determined to hurry up to make it before dusk – and you commanded your party to do the same.
You don’t find anything interesting among goblin corpses – only primitive weapons typical for them, some food and a few coins. From the worg – that used to sunbathe on top of Astarion – however, you manage to gather some alchemical ingredients. Not very valuable, but you still can make a potion basing on them – just in case you’ll be in need of additional support, though you hope it’ll never come to this. Somehow, for a reason unknown to you, you aren’t so confident in your skills anymore…
Anyway, the day has finally ended. The sun has hidden below the horizon, giving its seat to the moon. The sky – once baby blue – has darkened and begun glittering with stars impossible to ignore.
You are wondering whether this is what the sky in Baldur’s Gate looks like – dark and grim but intertwined with shining pearls as if the sea depth itself. You sigh voicelessly. And yet, your gaze doesn’t move from the sky.
You’re still lost. You don’t have many memories from Baldur’s Gate but you can swear you’ve reached it. You foggily see narrow streets and humble buildings, nothing like your homeland. You remember as if it was yesterday how you set off for the city with the heart in your mouth.
They say the escape is never a solution – the thing was though, for you it actually was. Long time ago you’ve decided to never come back home. You couldn’t. You didn’t want to. That life was meant for a canary in cage – not for you.
Author's note: I think it's obvious since Baldur's Gate 3 in general isn’t suited for younger audience but just to be sure, please be at least 18 before reading it. This fanfic series may contain lots of sensitive topics (including blood, violence, gore, death, smut and so on) so it isn’t recomended for readers who can feel hurt by these things. But if you are still here and want to enjoy some dark themes, please take a seat ^^
Chapter 6
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Your discussion about the medallion with the rest of your companions didn’t do much for you – apparently, nobody had an idea what could it be doing neither what to do with it. Astarion proposed selling it; Shadowheart told you to keep it until you learn if it was useful; and Gale for an unknown reason wanted to take it for himself, which got him a huge opposition from the rest.
In the end, you are fed up by this endless discourse and decide to do what you should – meaning, leaving this place full of rusty druids and non-ending prayers repeating over and over. As much as the ritual may seem innocent at first glance, after everything you have learned, you can’t look at it anymore. The olive- and pistachio-green-colored auras coming from the statue remind you of the rotten green and cold shade of mint now, while the gathered ones – of a cult.
But before you manage to get to the stone stairs, a sound reaches your ears. Something akin to… a melody?
“Can you hear that?” You prick up your tears to try and guess what is the meaning of the song but to no avail. The sound is very silent; and yet, you can tell where does it come from.
You turn to right, not paying attention to your companions. If they are to object because it should be none of your business, they may as well go and wait for you at Zevlor’s, right?
Besides, it is not like you asked to be put as their leader. It was them that chose you and have been following you ever since like obedient ducklings. Thus if they intend to complain about your decisions, they may just wait at the camp or in the other landmark. Marauders are not needed, they will only slow you down.
You walk down the slope and find yourself at the beach. On the shore, you see a lonely boy – must be a son to some of those tieflings. His hair is dense, as for his clothes, they look neat but poor.