How would you read /post/101448441417 ? I have it open but I can't seem to scroll down to read it, I'm terribly sorry if I'm being stupid and wasting your time!!
Are you reading it on a computer or on your phone? If itâs your phone Iâm not sure what might be wrong, but if youâre trying to read it on a computer, you might have problems with the theme? Make sure your cursor is on the dark brown square when youâre scrolling down, because only that part of the theme can be scrolled down on as the rest of the theme is static. I hope that makes sense haha and if thatâs not the problem, Iâm not sure what else I could suggest tbh, sorry...
where is the 'out of this world fic'? o.o has it been deleted? i clicked /post/101448441417/out-of-this-world but that's it. i can only see the summary but i can't scroll up or down. i was disappointed it sounds amazing and i really wanted to read it :(
Iâm not sure why you canât read it, but itâs still there? We wouldnât delete it for sure!!
warnings:Â swearing, homophobia, mentions of existential crisis. (PG)
summary: Dan, an ordinary boy from outer space who is obsessed with stars, receives an odd picture one day. Itâs a photograph of a boy, but not the kind of boy heâs used to seeing. He had a pale skin and blue eyes, meaning he was from planet earth. Extremely mesmerized by the boy, Dan goes on a quest to find him and gets himself into all kinds of adventures he never thought possibleâŠ
a/n: this is extremely lateAfter months of hard working, stressing, and skyping, our long awaited fic is finally done! This of course woudnât even be possible without the help of our incredible beta, Charlie. We really couldnât thank you enough. We also want to thank Brooke, for making the incredible artwork that goes along with this fic, thank you so much for making it even more awesome! And now, without further ado, we present our contribution to the phandom bigbang: Out Of This World.
----
Somewhere in this universe, not so far away, a disturbance rippled through the black nothingness, a seemingly endless path ahead of it. It was like the tiniest wave on the middle of a lake, caused by nothing more than the fluttering of a butterflyâs wings. Passing obstacles along the way were like fish and frogs, lilies and reed, but in reality they were spaceships and satellites, nebulae and comets. The calming sine would have been captivating to anyone whoâd see it, if only the signal would have been strong enough to pick up. However, maybe just that- the fact that it wasnât noticeable- added most to its beauty.
The flux would be meant to travel through space eternally, if fate would not have caused an interruption in the form of a Kappa ship, looking around Muscaâs territory for any spread of illegal information. However, the technology on board was too advanced to even recognise the kind of data the wave was transferring and they let go of shortly after. What could recognise the data stream was a primitive device constructed by a brown haired boy living on a near-by planet.
This is the story of how Dan received a picture of a beautiful boy on his basic, limited, home-built computer and instantly fell in love.
--
Even as a young kid, Dan never really felt he was visible. It wasnât like people didnât see him at all; they just never actually noticed him. It wasnât like they were trying to block out his thoughts in their minds purposely, they were just not listening to him. Even his parents would always pay more attention to his little brother and to his classmates; he had never been more than just a classmate.
Sure, he had some friends he enjoyed spending time with, but it always felt like they were better friends with other people, like he was never really good enough for them. In fact, he knew they didnât like spending time with him as much as with the other kids. As children their age were not that good at blocking out their mind that well yet, he could read their boredom relatively easy. He wasnât important to anyone and nobody ever made him feel special. He didnât even know what it was to feel special.
That was, unless he was looking up at the sky at night, from behind the little window of his bedroom. At those times, he wished he could just spread out his wings and fly up there, wherever there would mean. As far as his sight would go, heâd see bright lights illuminating the night sky and calling them all âstarsâ, by the absence of the knowledge of any other astronomical objects. Those stars were what he lived for. At daytime, Dan was always looking forwards to seeing the sky darken so he could feel whole again. When he had told his friends about his obsession with space, they called him a nerd or a weirdo and quickly changed the subject.
--
Dan never talked about it again, until a new guy was introduced to his class, called Rei. When he first entered the class, Dan was surprised. The boy had a sophisticated air around him: his glasses made him look smart -smarter than most kids their age- and judging from the clothes he was wearing, he came from a rich family.
 Dan wasnât sure what he should think of this new boy, weary of new things like everyone is, but he was sure to find out soon, as his teacher decided to give him a spot at the table right next to Danâs. As he walked in Danâs direction he found out that even the way Rei walked looked intellectual, with a raised head and straight steps. Although Dan wasnât easily impressed, this newcomer certainly seemed different from the other kids -in a good way.
Soon Dan had realised that the thing that made Rei seem so interesting and mysterious was the fact that he did an incredible job at shielding off his brain for a kid his age. Most kids couldnât contain their emotions that well and Dan always picked up large streams of inconsistent thought and memories from all around him. He guessed he also still had to learn how to block all of that unnecessary information from intruding his mind.
Of course, except when it came to Rei. Dan was intrigued by the boy and almost thanked the gods for that Miss Gazzan had decided to place Rei next to him. Surely now he would be able to find out more about the boy, maybe become friends with him and ultimately find out how and why he was able to shield off his mind so well. (Of course, in the end, all Dan wanted was to learn it himself too.)
The best way to become friends with someone was to start talking to them, right? Dan thought. So thatâs what he did. What could possibly go wrong?
âHey, ehm, hi there, my name is Dan,â he grinned slightly, trying to come across as smart to appeal to Rei.
âYou donât have to engage in small-talk with me, your mind is like an open book to me. My parents taught me from a young age how to keep people outside my mind. Itâs not something I can teach you and even if I could, I probably still wouldnât,â Rei stated with unchanged expression.
âIâm sorry,â was all Dan could reply, feeling his cheeks redden as he realised that of course Rei had already picked up on his plan by reading his mind.
--
Contact between Dan and Rei had been stiff from that first conversation on. They didnât have a lot in common and Rei seemed far ahead mentally from Dan and all the other kids in their class. Conversations between them wouldnât go further than the usual small-talk about the weather. Even as soon as it seemed like it was moving toward that direction, both of them made effort to stir the subject towards something more general, to avoid awkwardness.
It wasnât until a few months later when they found a similar interest. The last block before lunch break had come and on this occasion their teacher always read a chapter of a book to the class. As they had just finished the last book yesterday, it was time to start a new one. Miss Gazzan took it out of her bag and showed it to the class before flipping it open. The cover immediately drew Danâs attention, it being almost entirely black, with a few white, light blue, and red dots and a title in large, white letters.
âOut of this World,â read their teacher âis the title of this book.â
âIt is about a young girl who wants to become an astronaut and travel space when sheâs grown up.â
In the first chapter, the girl, called Eli, had become obsessed with space. She dreamt about flying in rockets and spaceships and discovering the universe all the time and decided she couldnât wait until she was old enough to become an astronaut. Her plan was to sneak into a rocket just before it would launch so she could go to space.
Dan already liked the story and listened mesmerised, while Miss Gazzan read the first chapter. Halfway through, Dan realised he wasnât the only one interested in the story: next to him, Rei held a fascinated look in his eyes as he stared at Miss Gazzan. The boy had always looked so rational and stern to Dan, but at this moment, he was showing clear emotions.
Dan could see Rei was touched by the story and it even seemed like he lost his shield for a while, giving Dan direct access to his feelings. This was the moment that gave Dan hope again that they might become actual friends. However, the moment Dan had fully turned his head towards his classmate, Rei figured out exactly what was going on and, to Danâs discontent, shut his mind off again.
Over time, as the story progressed and the girl got found out by the crew of the spaceship, their friendship didnât progress and Rei only became more careful. Again, Dan had given up all hope to become friends with him and gradually started to think that maybe it was just him. Maybe, just maybe, it were his own poor social skills. On his side, he thought he could see Rei flash a little smile at him, one that was soaked with pity. Quickly his facial expression changed back to normal and he pushed his glasses up, as to say it was a mistake.
When the story came to an end, their friendship had in no way become more than it already was, no matter how emotional Rei got every time their teacher read a chapter. It was a shame, as Dan was really interested in his personality and it seemed like they both didnât have many friends. When Rei was introduced to the class for the first time, he had hoped that maybe, just maybe he could become Danâs first real friend.
Time went by and they spoke to each other less and less. While at first, Dan had regretted wasting his only chance to become friends with Rei, slowly he could see that he wasnât the only person at fault. Rei had done just as much effort as him to start a friendship -maybe even less- so he could be blamed just as much.
The only thing that still bothered him, even as months struck by, was that Rei didnât seem that bothered by the fact that he was always alone. Dan didnât like sitting on his own at the cafeteria at lunch, he didnât like walking home without anyone to talk to and he didnât like sitting in class like he was transparent to literally every other person in the same room. Still, Dan was sure the situation was exactly the same for Rei, but to Dan it looked a lot like he couldnât care less.
--
A year later, Dan had long ago moved to a seat on the other side of the classroom and his daily life didnât include Rei anymore. Life had become more peaceful and a bit less lonelier as well for Dan, as he had found some acquaintances in his other classmates. Rei seemed as alone as ever, even though Dan didnât really like to think about it. Hell, he preferred not to think about the mysterious boy at all, since all he did was make Dan doubt his social skills.
They never wouldâve spoken again, if not for fate (or something else Dan didnât believe in) in the form of their new teacher deciding it would be a good idea to give the class a practical assignment. It had something to do with space and wouldnât have been so bad if they wouldnât have had to make their own pairs. Of course, every single one of the classmates Dan got along with, had already chosen someone else to work with, causing Dan to stay left behind.
Cautiously he looked around the room to find the only other person who hadnât found a teammate yet and decided it was his lucky day. The only person left besides himself, was Rei. The boy even had this mystic light from The Great Moon shining upon him, as if this was its way to tell Dan this was meant to be.
Dan felt like he had just arrived in his worst nightmare, but tried his hardest not to be too hard on Rei. For all he knew, maybe Rei had changed over the past year and there was also this slight chance that Rei did feel just as lonely as he did, but just never showed it. Rei had always been good at hiding his feelings and thoughts after all.
As a sign of recognition, Dan locked his eyes with Reiâs and saw for the first time since they knew each other that the boy had a purple shimmer in his dark brown eyes. It may just have been the light, but it caused him to look away nevertheless, as he had suddenly gotten shy at the eye contact, feeling it was too personal. Nonetheless, Rei walked his way, even wearing a slight grin.
âIf this was another plan of you to become friends with me, I have to apologise, it wonât work.â Rei stated sternly.
âNo way this was my plan, I would even rather work on my own than with you.â Dan flinched when he realised he was probably being too harsh to Rei.
âThatâs not what I meant!â he added quickly.
âDonât worry about it.â Rei told him.
Before Dan could reply, he was interrupted by the voice of their teacher, telling the class the what and how of the assignment. They had to build a solaris, a basic out-of-date signal receiver, with attributes they could find at home. It wouldnât be able to receive any signals nowadays as no one was using this kind of old fashioned way of communication anymore.
Dan was eager to start this project, like most of the other kids in their class, but no oneâs enthusiasm could compare to the kind of facial expression that was showing up on Reiâs face. His eyes were sparkling with excitement, his mouth a bit agape and turned up in a small, genuine smile. This was a sight Dan never thought he would ever see, but it pleased him in a kind of way.
The two of them had agreed shortly to go over to Danâs home after class to start working on the project. As soon as they left the building, they spread out their wings and flew wordlessly towards the indigo sky. Dan had seen them a couple of times when they were changing for P.E., but it had never struck him just how beautiful Reiâs wings actually were. When the light of the sun reflected on it from just the right angle, Dan could make out spurs of purple on the otherwise completely pink wings and if he would have lived on earth, they would have reminded him a bit of those of a butterfly.
As they flew over the picturesque landscape, Dan fixed his attention on his classmate flying besides him. It seemed like Reiâs mind had drifted off as he was staring into the distance and Dan wondered once again if Rei really never minded being on his own, if maybe he just had a very lonesome personality. Maybe he just didnât like company at all.
On his side, Rei moved his head towards him and Dan could make out a small smile tugging on his lips. Soon enough Rei realised and let his facial expression turn back to normal, but Dan didnât care. Rei was actually smiling at him and it made a warm feeling spread through him: a feeling of friendship, a feeling that he had actually become somewhat closer to Rei.
Once they were at Danâs home, theyâd started out with the project immediately; partly because they were incredibly motivated and partly because they wanted to avoid the awkwardness that would ensue if they had to make some small talk with Danâs parents. After opening the door to his room, Dan turned to look at Rei and saw his eyes widening.
His room was nothing special nor particularly big, but Rei was clearly impressed by something. He looked at the other boy as Rei walked towards his window and took a good look at the landscape and, in particular, the sky above him.
âYou have a nice room here. It must be fun to look at the stars from your window at night,â Rei said, with an almost inaudible hint of jealousy hidden in his voice.
âYeah it is. I really love gazing at the night sky and this window is a real blessing for me. It is bad at keeping out sounds though, I often wake up in the morning because of the birds chirping in the tree right besides my room,â Dan chuckled lightly.
Rei on the other hand looked like he wanted to do anything but chuckle. The boy looked at the ground and Dan had never seen him look so shy. In fact, he had never thought he would ever be able to call Rei shy, but here they were.
âDid I say something wrong?â he asked cautiously, hoping he hadnât hurt Reiâs feelings somehow.
âNo itâs nothing. I just- itâs nothing,â he stuttered, looking anywhere but directly at Dan.
With a loud sigh he gave in and continued: âThis is something personal and I never intended to tell anyone.â
Dan looked up when he noticed Rei didnât continue and tried to give him a reassuring smile.
âYou donât have to tell me if you donât want to.â he tried to ease him.
âI know,â Rei stated honestly âbut I kind of want to tell you. It might convenience our further collaboration. Besides, you seem like a trustworthy person. And the only person in a long time who I can almost call a friend.â
Rei seemed genuinely nervous and emotional so Dan scooted a little bit closer to him, without breaking eye contact, to encourage him to go on.
âThe truth is, that I- I am deaf. I can hear other peopleâs voices just fine, but Iâm not able to hear birds singing. My parents would be afraid Iâd be bullied for it, so thatâs why they trained my from a young age to be able to block my mind for anyone around me. I guess the mind blocking had disadvantages as well, as I always had a hard time making friends. The other kinds just never trusted me, since they couldnât read my mind.â
âSo thatâs why you decided that you didnât need anyone else? That you could make it on your own?â Dan wondered.
âIt wasnât entirely intentional, it mostly just happened. People didnât accept me and never talked to me, so in return I isolated myself. I never thought anyone would be truly interested in me, that it all was some trick to gain my trust and then bully me. But somehow, I now feel different about you.â Rei swallowed slowly.
Dan felt helpless. Heâd never known that there would be some kind of motive behind Reiâs mind shielding, but at this moment he felt stupid that he never thought of that. It seemed so logical now heâs said it and Dan felt sorry for him. So he did something heâd never done before and hugged Rei, to let him know it was okay. Rei stiffened underneath his touch, but gave Dan a small smile.
It was for Dan as well as Rei the beginning of their first real friendship. They grew closer to each other the more they worked on the project. As expected, Rei was really motivated to get an A* and had even gotten his mother to take some materials from the steel factory she was working at home, so they could use it for the solaris.
After hours and hours of hard work, they did end up with the highest grade of the class and a new blossoming friendship. A friendship that, no matter what, would last over time. Even after a kiss, or two, or some more, and a broken heart, it didnât matter because their friendship was strong enough to endure it and they both knew they never meant to hurt each other.
In fact, their friendship was still going strong when Dan received a cryptic signal on the solaris they built together (and had decided would fit best in Danâs room). It was so primitive that he couldnât even recognise the kind of data it contained, but it triggered his curiosity and he decided to transfer it to his computer.
What his computer showed him, though, was a sight heâd never seen before. It was a picture of a boy just a bit older than himself and one thing was sure: he didnât come from Musca. The general Muscan traits of olive skin, brown eyes and dark hair didnât resemble the boyâs pale skin and piercing blue eyes. It was the most beautiful face Dan had ever seen in his life.
A message popped up on Danâs screen, showing the file name: Phil. The word was completely foreign to him and could basically mean anything to him, but he guessed Phil probably had to be the name of the boy. Such an exotic name did fit they boyâs exotic appearance. Somehow, Dan felt a strong attraction to this strange, but beautiful alien boy.
--
Dan woke up to the sound of his alarm, and slammed his hand on it hard. It was yet another day of school Dan despised so much, he dragged himself out of bed with a frown on his face. Still slow and tired from just waking up, his wings peeled themselves off Danâs shoulders and moved back and forth to adjust for a bit, before he lift himself from the wooden floor in his bedroom. He gathered up his school supplies in a hurry, and then made for downstairs where his parents were already waiting for him at the breakfast table.
âGood morning, Daniel.â The thought came from his mother, and Dan smiled at the both of them. âMorning,â He replied, and sat down. A moment later, his younger brother appeared from the stairs. He was rubbing his eyes and his unclear thoughts about breakfast and homework drifted through Danâs mind, making Dan smile under his hand. Jazz sat down opposite of Dan, and without making any eye contact he grabbed his food from the table. Danâs brother could be fun and friendly if he wanted to, but mornings were usually not included.
Shared conversations mostly from his parents filled his head until finally, the voices of his friends outside made itâs way into his mind.
âDan! Hurry up, weâre gonna be late.â Skye, one of his classmates,yelled.
Shooting from his chair, Dan shoved his final spoon of dried fruit into his mouth and kissed his parents goodbye before flying out of the door. Before joining his friends outside he quickly checked his pockets for Philâs picture, but it was securely stuffed inside one of them. With a smile on his face he zipped his coat up and flew over to his friends. The three of them were standing just outside his garden, and when they saw Dan coming their wings appeared out of their shoulders, and they quickly made their way to school. Dan lived quite nearby, so within five minutes they were already seated in the small building with no more than seven classrooms.
âWelcome class, today I have some maths planned.â His teacher announced to the whole class, and then his mind was clouded with groans and annoyed moans. This was going to be a long day.
When the bell rang a little over an hour later, the canteen was fairly empty except for Danâs table. Philâs picture lay on the surface and all the students were bend over to see it. There were way too many voices inside Danâs head to distinguish each one of them, but all of them sounded mesmerized, impressed, and jealous.
Not everyone saw a picture of an alien every day.
Danâs cheeks were glowing with pride when he had showed it, taking the picture out of his coat to look at it. He had told his friends all about it already, how its data came into the solaris now a little over 2 years ago, and how he hadnât been able to stop looking at it since then.
When he talked about Phil there was a blush spread over his face like he was embarrassed, and without thinking a word his friends all shared a look. The way he spoke about him made it obvious he had a crush on the alien boy, but he didnât want to admit it. He had never met the boy nor seen any other picture of him, let alone know where his home planet was. He was a stranger and Dan was embarrassed about his crush on him.
Therefore he kept his thoughts to himself, and by the end of the break he stuffed the photo in his pocket again and flew back to class. He sat in his chair with his hands folded on the table in front of him and didnât share a thought for the rest of the school day. Not even with Rei, who was shooting him concerned glanced the entire time.
After the final bell Dan still ignored him and flew home alone, where his parents had prepared him some tea. He drank it in silence and a little too fast so his tongue burned painfully when he finished it. But that was all because he wanted to rush to the rooftop, where he liked to lie every night.
The brown roof tiles werenât comfortable, they hurt Danâs shoulders and back and his wings were crying underneath his skin, but since Phil, lying on the rooftop had become the best feeling in the world.
When he used looked up at the sky, whether it was day or night, he saw all those planets before him, and looking at that sight made his stomach tingle. On all those planets and stars lived other species, other aliens and other plants. It all looked different. Even beyond Danâs sight were planets, the amount neverending that even the citizens of Magrathea didnât know all of them. The universe around Dan was so mind-bogglingly big, and when Dan thought of himself as one tiny, little speck inside that universe, it was like nothing mattered anymore. He was insignificant; a little blob of stardust that often tripped over the mess in his room and didnât listen to his mother. It made him feel like he was fourteen years old all over again, when he was completely invisible to the world just like he was to the universe.
But ever since Phil, looking up at the sky gave him hope. One of those dots was the boyâs home, it was where he woke up, did his chores, and went to bed. The thought that he was out there somewhere, and whether it was the big star in the front or one of the tiny stars far, far away, Phil gave him the feeling he wasnât insignificant to the world. Phil, this stranger Dan had never met before, mattered something to him, and it had become Danâs mission to mean something to Phil.
That night consisted of dreaming about being a part of Philâs world until his eyes hurt from looking at the stars. In his hand he held Philâs picture, his proudest possession. He held it up to his face and when he looked away from his stars and into Philâs eyes, a smile appeared on his face.
âWeâre going to be together one day.â He silently thought to himself so no one could hear him. Silence surrounded him and his thoughts for a brief moment, but then he heard his motherâs high-pitched voice echoing through his head. He sighed, and flew down while stuffing the black sphere in his pocket.
After dinner Dan fell down onto his bed with a grin on his face. His hand still clutched the picture tightly, and he held up his hand to look at it. Looking back at him, unchanged as ever, was Phil. His eyes the colour of blue Dan had never seen on Musca before. His planet wore the dull colour of pale red, the cities in the air made of brown stone.
Everything was brown here, the forests, the roads, the shops (honestly, Dan didnât know what tourists liked about this place) and the people. They all looked the same, and with their olive skin and brown hair with equally brown eyes, Dan was in no way considered an exception.
But this Phil, he was an exception. As Dan looked up at the picture above him in the little light the solaris was causing, he saw what he had already seen before a hundred times, but it was still as breath-taking as ever.
The blue orbs in Philâs eyes were staring straight at him, and the black that framed his face made the colours in his lips and cheeks and eyes pop even more. The white of his teeth against the redness of his lips made Dan quiver every time he saw it, and the wrinkles that carved perfect lines next to the outer corner of his eyes took Danâs breath away. Phil was everything he could never be.
But that didnât make Dan want Phil any less. If anything, it made him want him more. And even if his alien, his Phil, was only a photograph that made itâs way into Danâs solaris by (perchance) accident, he was a big part of Danâs life. Dan didnât mean for it to be a big part, not at all, but it had happened nonetheless.
From that day on, the alien was on Danâs mind almost 24 hours a day. Dan woke up with him on his mind, did chores with him on his mind and went to sleep with him on his mind. During school Phil was the only thing Dan thought about, annoying the teacher and his fellow students endlessly. He didnât give a damn though, he was simply in love.
 âWhen are you planning to find Phil?â One of his friends, Naeem asked one day while they were waiting for their group of friends to leave after a day of school.
âSoon.â Dan only answered. He had no idea how to find Phil, to be completely honest. He didnât know where he lived or whether he would be in reach at all. The only thing he knew was that they were pretty much from the same descendant, as the both of them looked very much alike, so it could either be a planet nearby or a strange, unknown and deformed parallel universe. Dan swallowed hard and looked down at his feet.
âIâll find him.â
âYouâre in love with him arenât you?â His friendsâ voice echoed through his head, and Danâs head shot up. He slowly bobbed his head up and down while he felt his cheeks grow dark red. Naeem didnât say anything else, but Dan could feel his eyes on him, silently judging him.
He knew it was stupid, falling in love with someone like that. Dan knew he should have thought it through, but as he thought about Phil again his heart started beating faster and he knew decisions like this arenât made with your head.
Danâs fingers tugged on loose bits of fabric on his shirt until finally, they heard their other friends arrive.
âSorry weâre late, Miss had us do some extra work.â Skye told them tiredly, and Dan nodded. Behind Skye stood another figure, and Dan smiled at him. Rei smiled back, and fixed his glasses with two fingers. âShall we get going?â Echoed through Danâs head as Rei spoke, and they all quickly made their way up into the air.
Within a few minutes all Danâs friends were back home, and Dan flew the last few miles himself. Flying with a bag in his arms wasnât the most comfortable, but Dan had grown used to it as his hometown wasnât connected to the city with a small lane, and Dan simply had to fly.
Arriving at his house, Dan threw his bag onto the floor immediately and flew up to his usual spot, where he lay until his mother called him for dinner just like she did every day.
--
The next couple of weeks flew by, the middays really growing hot and sweaty while the students raced through their final weeks of school. It was hectic, Dan found he didnât have time to think about Phil all the time anymore, and it was tiring.
He had never spent this amount of time on his homework than during these final weeks, but when he stood up from his last exam he found it had been worth it. Not only did his hard work pay off by graduating with distinction, he also finally knew what he wanted to do after school.
Dan was going to become a pilot.
It had briefly crossed his mind before, but it was always more a fantasy than something he would actually be able to do. But now he had been accepted due to his school results, and his fantasy would become reality.
It was one of the best schools on the planet, and Dan gave it his all. Even if it was difficult, he spent every hour of the day if he had to on his assignments, because he knew in the back of his mind that becoming a pilot brought him so much closer to Phil than he had ever thought possible. If he knew how to locate him, he could visit him. He could meet him.
If he worked hard enough, if he studied and he paid attention, his life might get turned around forever. He couldnât really see it just yet, but he knew that when dreams became reality nothing would ever be the same.
In class he learned the entire stellar system by heart, the stars, the planets, the constellations, everything. It wasnât anything like Eliâs story âOut Of This Worldâ, but Dan felt the exact same way as her. He wanted to fly spaceships and travel endless amount of light-years in just a few minutes. He wanted to become an astronaut, but hopefully he didnât have to sneak up to a spaceship like in the story. He would have his own spaceship.
Dan was so obsessed with space, that even when he wasnât busy with anything, he spent entire nights reading planet descriptions, fascinated by all the different sorts and species. For example;
Lyca IV; a small, toxic planet in the âLyca systemâ. Circulates around the Lyca suns 4 times a year (counting in Musca years). There is only one form of life able to survive, and that is the Arcyllis grass, which covers the entire planet in big waves of red. The tall grass doesnât die as the planet doesnât know winters and summers, and it is approximately 300 centimetres high (counting in universal measurements). Visited once by dr. Kaux Verghei, who landed his aircraft but, unfortunately, never returned.
                      [THIS PLANET IS PROHIBITED TO ALL LIFE FORMS, NO EXCEPTIONS]
Earth; a green and blue planet in the relatively small âSolar systemâ. Population similar to ours, but small differences are distinguishable. Light and dark skin/hair colours as well as a various range in eye colour. The species is able to produce sound from their mouths, and they do not appear to have a mind-reading ability, nor do they have wings. Their technology allows them to communicate with one another from different places, using small, undefined products. This technology is however limited to their own planet, and they have never been able to communicate with the life forms around them. Their âozoneâ doesnât allow them to look upon every planet, and so some planets, like ours, remain hidden from their sight. Visited regularly by various travellers and hitchhikers, although never longer than a few days. Planet seems harmless but isolated and therefore difficult to understand. Further inspection is in progress using our newly developed planet-gazers.
Dan read and read and read, turning the pages until deep in the night when his eyes drooped and his head felt heavy. Reading about these planets made his fingers tingle with curiosity, and he couldnât wait to operate a spaceship himself.
 --
A year later, when Dan knew every planet from the top of his head and could name almost all of the species there were, he began taking lessons inside a spaceship simulator. Within a few weeks he knew how to operate the most complex ones, the buttons and handles familiar in his hands.
Besides his busy schedule, Dan still had one hell of a time, and when he wasnât focussed on teaching himself to locate Philâs coordinates, he spent his time hanging out with his friends. They taught him the art of navigating through forbidden stars, and he also came to know the so-called âBabelfishâ, a translation device brought to Musca several years ago by an unknown hitchhiker. Put the device in your ear, and the fish will feed itself on sound waves and movement to turn them into brain waves, therefore producing an instant translation for every language known. Dan hadnât heard from it before, because the inhabitants of Musca donât produce sound waves to translate, but those who were interested had been able to get their hands one some of them, just like one of Danâs friends.
âYou want one, Dan?â Rei said, smiling widely. Rei too had chosen to become a pilot, obviously. He was just as obsessed with space as Dan was, if not more. Besides that, he was smart, and had this professional and serious aura hanging around him every employer wanted to hire.
âFor your boyfriend?â Rei laughed. (If Dan was honest, Rei could also completely drop his seriousness for a while and be a total dick to him.)
âShut up.â Dan rolled his eyes but suppressed a smile. His friends loved joking with Phil, or rather the idea of Phil, and as much as Dan wanted them to stop, they did it in such a way it became extremely funny. Dan just laughed along with them, but he would clutch Philâs picture in his hand tight and promise himself not to take Phil as a joke.
He was real, and Dan really was going to find him.
At the end of the night a small container, which held a yellow Babelfish, was stood on Danâs desk, and he smiled at it. When he was going to find Phil, this thing was definitely going with him.
--
The fourth, and final, year of Danâs study came and went like a breeze. Flying ships was just as easy as putting on your shoes, and Dan could name all the routes and landing places there were.
He had also been working on figuring out how to locate Phil, and he was getting closer. With help from one of his teachers and Rei, he had figured out a lot more than he previously knew.
âYou check the last number of the first row, to know which cluster it is in. 3, for example, is the Hyades cluster, where Lyca is located. The higher the number, the closer the cluster is to Musca.â
Dan nodded and traced his finger over his screen, where two small numbers were printed on the back of the photo he had received from Phil.
â51.507351, -0.127758â
âItâs one.â Dan whispered, his heartbeat rising. Could Phil really be that close?
âOkay, now we know itâs in the Virgo Supercluster. A close, but very big, cluster.â
Dan had heard about it before, knowing some planets that were in this cluster.
âNow, you generate a map of that cluster, and simply type in the first three numbers of each row, so we know which system itâs in.â His teacher said, and Dan nodded. He clicked on the Virgo Supercluster icon, and a large grid with dots loaded on his screen.
After typing in the needed numbers, the map moved to a place far more zoomed in, where the dots became small and bigger planets with one center point.
âSolar system.â Dan breathed, quickly scanning over all the different planets. There werenât that many planets and stars in his system, so he hoped his search wouldnât take long.
Typing in the next three numbers, which should take him to the destined planet, Dan hit enter while holding in his breath. When the map moved again, zooming in on one particular planet, Danâs heart skipped a beat. Planet Earth. The small, green and blue planed Dan adored so much, filled his screen with itâs beauty, and Dan felt his teacher squeeze his shoulder. Earth was a good planet.
âWhat happens when I type in the last numbers?â Dan asked quietly, hovering his fingers over the keys.
âYouâll get to know the exact spot from where the photo was sent.â His teacher answered, and Dan quickly started typing.
When he hit enter, the map zoomed in even more, on a place called âLondonâ. It contained a lot of square lines and dots, and even a big line of blue down the middle. Dan was amazed how complex it all looked, but his teacher was still calm.
âOkay⊠Now I understand you want to travel there, right?â
Dan nodded.
âThen letâs find a decent landing spot.â
His teacher moved closer and took the track pad from Dan, rotating and moving the map quicker than Dan thought was possible, until he stopped at a big, empty spot.
âThis is, if Iâm not mistaken, a âparkâ, and it should be perfect for landing. You will fly a small ship as itâs not far, at most a day of traveling, and youâll land exactly hereâŠâ He pointed on the empty spot, and Dan quickly wrote down the coordinates of the place.
âOkay.â Was all he could think. His mind was blank, and his eyes were dry. He knew where to find Phil. He knew where to find Phil. Rubbing his eyes, Dan still couldnât believe he was actually going to look for him, for his dreams, in maybe less than a week.
Shaking, Dan stood up and after quickly thanking his teacher, he left the classroom and flew home immediately, where he picked up Philâs picture and kissed it. Less than a week. He could be holding him in his arms by a week.
A tear made itâs way down Danâs cheek and after he noticed, he started crying. He couldnât really imagine what it would be like to see Phil for the first time, but the fact that he might be able to feel what it would be like, made him smile until his cheeks hurt.
--
The preparations for Danâs flight had been hard, including a short two day stay in the isolation chamber and an especially for him designed diet, but all of that mattered next to nothing to him compared to what he was going to do today. After being obsessed with space for as long as he could remember, today was the day he would actually travel it. However, not without a purpose: he would fly to earth to visit Phil.
Now he was sitting in his spaceship, alone, and the realisation hit him: he was actually going to make his dream come true. The dream that had seemed so unreal and unachieveable at first, now it became reality. The grey interior of the small spaceship wasnât particularly aesthetic, to Danâs disapproval, but heâd cope. His imagination would be enough to keep him pleased until heâd finally arrive on the blue planet of his dreams. Besides, his one-man spaceship had a big window on the front, right above the control panel behind which Dan was seated and another one above his bed.
 Dan never really knew what to think of goodbyes, he didnât have much experience with them, but right now he really needed to say it. The worst thing was that he wasnât planning on returning anytime soon; it might as well be a permanent farewell. Perhaps the hardest farewell was the one he told Rei. They had been friends for such a long time and maybe they wouldnât see each other again.
âTake care,â Reiâd said to him, trying to keep his cool persona intact. Dan could still see the salty liquid in his eyes that was on the edge of spilling over.
âI will,â heâd replied and pulled him into a hug for what was probably the last time.
As the ship took off and Dan stared into the black distance, he decided that he hated goodbyes. Naturally, his parents had even cried more than Rei and Dan knew that they didn't agree with this. All parents want to protect their child and keep them safe and so did Dan's. Dan himself knew it was for the best though, he would be able to make a new start on a new world and Phil would help him.
This was what Dan hold onto during his ten day voyage to earth. The nothingness that was space was even worse than he thought it would be. Even the isolation chamber couldn't have prepared him for this. It wasn't that much the boredom that he couldn't cope with, he had spent years having no friends. No, the worst thing happened when he looked too deep into the black parts between the stars and found there were even more stars. It made him feel so insignificant that he thought he'd go crazy if he didn't quickly visualise Phil's soothing image in his head.
Space was different from what he had imagined and Dan had a hard time filling his days. His spaceship flew at 4 times the speed of light, so everything around him was one big black blur. This way, he couldnât see much of the stars around him. Only when Dan went to sleep, he put his ship on autopilot and it would slow down, so he could look at the stars when he laid in bed through the window above him. Though, often he closed his eyes quickly (to not get another existential crisis) and fell asleep to dream of Phil.
The thought of Phil really was the only thing keeping him sane, until the blue sphere that was earth appeared in the distance. He had flew by impressive gas planets, marvellous nebulas and giant suns, but nothing looked as beautiful as the planet that was right before his eyes. From now on, this would be the place he called home. This was the place where he would meet Phil and spend the rest of his life with him.
It was almost time for Dan to go to sleep, but earth was so close that he couldnât find himself to care about resting. All he wanted was to reach his landing place, everything else could wait for now. So he neared the planetâs atmosphere and braced himself for the turbulence that would ensue as soon as heâd descent to the surface. From the height he was now, Dan could make out different cities, rivers, deserts, and rainforests. Such a beautiful sight Dan had never thought heâd ever see.
The flight downwards (after Dan had put on the invisible mode of the skycraft) was rocky, but he managed, because from close up earth was even more precious. The so called roads, rails and planes were impressive and for a moment Dan wished he could stay in this dream-like state forever. Everything looked so futuristic, but at the same time not at all. Earth really was something different and new.
During his time training to become a space traveller, he had skillfully learnt how land, but doing it for real seemed somewhat more difficult, causing Dan to have a hard time keeping the ship stable. His coördinates were locked on a strip of nature in the big city of âLondonâ, called Holland Park and it appeared to have darkened on the place already. The view from the front window was marvelous as Dan flew narrowly across high buildings, a bell tower and bridges over the broad river; everything was brightly lit with all kinds of coloured artificial lights.
Dan neared the ground quickly as he approached his goal. This was the trickiest part: not hitting people, trees and moving vehicles as he almost hit the ground. The last few metres seemed like an eternity to Dan, before finally, his spaceship touched earth with a shock and he furiously tried to slow down by pulling the brakes. Only the realisation of âI have finally reached earthâ went through his head before he doze off to sleep.
--
Bright light hit Danâs face, as he woke up with an aching neck and a rumbling stomach and it took a while before it hit him where he was. He had gotten used to waking up to the boring grey interior that was his spaceship, but he hadnât seen natural light in about 2 weeks. When he realised that he was in London, the aching neck was long forgotten and Dan couldnât remember ever being so excited to get up.
After he had eaten breakfast, Dan put some food in his bag, since he had read about earth having some kind of exchange product that you needed if you wanted food. The first thing he noticed when stepping outside of his spaceship was that everything was loud. Musca had always been a very quiet place, since vehicles were otiose. Everyone could fly anyway.
His spaceship had actually crashed on the edge of Holland Park and he could see fast moving vehicles rushing by. Besides earth being loud, Dan decided it was also very fast and, apparently, really bright. Where the sky at Musca had been a sort of indigo or violet, here it was bright blue. The sunlight gave Dan a headache and the only thing he wanted to do now was search for a place that offered shelter from the brightness.
There was a group of trees standing nearby and Dan considered sitting in its shadow for a while, but remembered that he didnât come to earth to lounge, he had a goal. He had to find Phil to guide him through this world of constant stimuli and he had to find him fast, before he got crazy. Approaching the stream of speeding vehicles seemed like a good idea to Dan, they might be able to take him to Phil.
On both sides of the main road where the vehicles were passing, there were strokes of concrete, with loads of people walking on them. Dan had honestly no idea what they were or what was going on, but he decided now was not a good time to realise that he should have done more research on cities and just started walking along with the stream. Everyone around him looked at him weirdly and Dan started feeling uncomfortable so he stopped walking to check if he maybe had some sort of stain on his shirt.
The moment he stopped, however, he felt the air being pushed out of his lungs, as a great force suddenly pressed against his back. Dan tripped over and could only regain balance after grabbing the back of a bench. His heart was beating madly and he couldnât remember a time where he had felt more scared than now. He turned around to see a broad man looking at him angrily and shouting things he didnât understand, despite his Babelfish.
Away. The only thing running through his mind was that he should run, find a place where the angry, shouting man couldnât find him. So thatâs what he did. As fast as he could, he ran away to find a hiding place, while trying to dodge people on his way. Thatâs when he found a kind of stairs inside the pavement, leading somewhere under the ground. It could be his only chance and Dan didnât have to think twice about taking it.
Down the stairs, Dan found a rather large kind of room filled with people, most of them walking even further down. Feeling helpless, Dan couldnât think of something else than just to follow them. After all, maybe if he was in a crowd, the angry man would lose sight of him. For a moment, Dan felt reassured, he was sure he was going to find Phil and everything would turn out alright.
Of course, life wouldnât be that good to him and he encountered another obstacle. There seemed to be some kind of gates and Dan really started to panic now. He had no idea how to get through and if he even should get through. Everyone else around him looked like they had no problem getting on the other side at all, but Dan couldnât figure out how they did it.
Deciding it would probably be for the better to follow the stream of people, Dan started walking towards the gates. Maybe there was some kind of device that scanned your eyes to let you in or maybe they just opened automatically. However, when he neared one of them, it didnât open for him. Dan wasnât one to give up so easily though. The gates probably just didnât work properly.
It would presumably be the best if he just climbed over to get to the other side. The doors were really smooth, making it hard for Dan to climb over them. People shot him all kind of weird glances when he did it, but he assumed they were probably used to it. Technology wasnât always that reliable so it must have happened more often. They really could have made it easier for people to climb over, though, Dan thought.
Struggling at the top of the gate, Dan felt himself lose balance and he fell right off at the other side. It really hurt when he hit his head on the concrete floor, but that wasnât even the worst thing about his situation. In fact, a few people around him started laughing and staring, and some of them even started whispering. All the attention that was on him made Dan nervous and he preferably started running again.
However, the crowded place made it impossible for him to move fast and most people didnât pay much attention to him anymore anyway, so he just continued his way. Dan could see a couple of large stairs descending even farther down and opposite of him a blank wall, meaning that he had to go down to get further. Each of these stairs seemed just as likely, judging from the amount of people taking each stair.
For convenience, Dan just took the first one on his right and walked downstairs, to find a kind of underground train station. Luckily, he recognised this from his research on earth. If he remembered it right, it was called an underground: a very popular form of transportation in numerous large cities across earth, that transported humans in trains.
Finally, Dan was able to recognise something and he felt like he had never been so happy in his entire life. Relief washed through him as a train arrived with loud noise and the people around him started to get inside. This would take him to Phil after all, he was sure.
As the train started speeding, Dan realised he hadnât been able to find a seat and fell over again when he couldnât maintain his balance. Dan couldnât even bother to get up again. In fact, he felt infinite more times like crying than getting up. Earth had been a nightmare for him so far and he felt so miserable. Everything had been going wrong and even now he didnât even know where this train would take him.
Guessing his luck, the train would go to the complete opposite of where Phil was and he would never be able to find him. He could just as well give up and try to fix his spaceship and go back to Musca. At least he understood everything there. At least there were his friends and family. At least he knew people there at all.
As the train slowed down, Dan looked up to who had actually picked him up. A small girl, probably around his age smiled down at him and Dan couldnât help but smile back. She was the first person who had genuinely been nice to him and he wanted to thank her, but she already walked off out of the doors.
A few stops later most people got out and Dan decided it would be best for him to do the same. This whole underground experience made him dizzy and sleepy, so a bit of fresh air would surely do him good. What he hadnât counted on, were moving stairs. He had just avoided getting squeezed between the closing doors of the underground and on his way upstairs when he saw them.
People werenât walking on them, however, they were just standing. It sounded like the perfect form of transportation for someone like Dan who even described himself as lazy. Nevertheless, he couldnât figure out a way to safely step on them, as they were constantly moving, never stopping for someone to get on.
Dan wasnât even surprised when he fell when he tried to get on the escalator. He had seen it coming, but for some reason he couldnât do much more than to accept his faith of constant falling and embarrassment. He could as well become a public clown: showing people how awkward he was and them laughing about it.
He picked himself up when upstairs and dragged his body to the exit, or well at least the direction everyone around him was walking. His day couldnât have gone worse even if he wanted it and it wasnât even half over yet. As the outside light came closer, Dan started to doubt his mental capacity more and more. What person in their right minds would fly to another planet to find someone they didnât even know? Thatâs right: no one.
The headache came back as soon as he stepped outside on the pavement and the loud vehicle noises returned. After a while the buzz started to make Dan dizzy. Big and small vehicles whizzed passed and the chatter from the humans, which he still didnât fully understand, turned his stomach upside down.
The problem was that the noises seemed to get everywhere. They crept under his skin and slipped inside his mind like poison and it made him feel lightheaded. Dan tried closing his eyes to calm down, but then the world seemed to be spinning around 4 times faster, so instead he tried to avoid that from then on.
The humans around him also became a bit too much. They walked in every direction, bumping into him with their bags and hips and someone even stepped on his foot. They smelled of sweat and sunlight because the sun was streaming down on the street like a spotlight. The heat bounced off the pavement and it made Danâs movements slow, wearing him out so fast.
He needed to sit down, so he searched for a spot to sit until he found a nice looking stool, and he let himself catch his breath for a second. But then someone came up to him and handed him a paper, one with numbers and all sorts of variations of those he didnât recognize, so he just gave it back to her.
âIf you donât wish to eat here, Iâd have to ask you to leave. This seat is reserved for our customers.â
Thanks to the Babelfish Dan could understand most of what she was saying, although he didnât understand what âcustomersâ were. He still got up and left.
 He wandered on with more and more noises inside his head, and then turned a corner, which revealed a much larger street with much brighter lights and even more people. His eyes widened and he clutched Philâs picture in his pocket, afraid of losing it.
This strange world was so terrifying, the big streets and lights flashing everywhere. It was overwhelming. Dan managed a few more steps, but then a huge bus stopped right next to him and at least a dozen people got off, which all had to manoeuvre around Dan. The chatter in his ears went straight to the bone and he clasped his hands around his ears to cover the sound.
A muffled noise still made itâs way to his ears, but Dan found that the world was a lot more enjoyable like this. He couldnât hear the vibrant sounds of the city like this, so as he walked further down the road he made sure to keep his hands on his ears.
When the people started staring and pointing, he frowned and stood still for a moment. He remembered the human world being judging, with everyone always doing what was expected, and he briefly wondered if what he was doing wasnât accepted around here.
An old man came up to him and started moving his mouth rapidly; pointing at his hands and ears. Dan frowned. What did he want from him?
ââŠokay?â Dan heard the man say when he slowly removed his hands from his ears, and he frowned again because even though he could understand what the man was saying, he felt like he had missed most of the sentence.
âAre you okay, young man?â The elder man asked again, and Danâs eyes widened. He quickly bobbed his head up and down and as he did so, he dropped his hands. The stranger smiled slightly and placed a hand on Danâs shoulder, stroking his own grey hair.
âThatâs good to know. Have a nice day.â The man squeezed Danâs shoulder and Dan smiled before the man walked away again.
Just pretend to be okay, Dan thought to himself, and with the corners of his mouth turned up, he continued walking. He still had to find Phil, somehow.
--
A little while later, Dan had ended up in a quieter place of London. Only a few people were crossing the road, and the loud noises were distant buzzes now. Dan could finally think.
He pulled Philâs portrait from his pocket and looked at the back, where his directions were scribbled. It must be somewhere close, but Dan had no idea where to start looking.
These streets didnât look like houses at all; the bright neon lights that burned Danâs eyes couldnât be homes of people, right? Dan frowned and walked on, occasionally looking down at Philâs picture again.
Just as he wanted to give up and walk into another part of town, another kind of sound that was new to him distracted him. It wasnât the annoying kind of sound, like the cars rushing by or a lot of people all raising their voices. It was enjoyable, the high and low sounds in a smooth rhythm. Dan slowly turned around to face the sound he was hearing, and his eyes met a small, bright shop.
Several big instruments, wooden with strings or big black boxes, stood by the front windows, and the pleasant sound Dan still couldnât identify filled the streets. As he got drawn closer and closer to it, the sounds got louder, but this time Dan didnât feel the need to cover his ears. He liked the sounds this time, and when he took the final steps into the store, he had completely forgotten about Philâs picture in his pocket.
A small bell rang when he entered, and Dan looked up. It was a small and cosy store, couches and chairs huddled together in one corner to represent a living room, with rugs over the parts of the floor that were visible, and there was almost no place to move as there were tables and racks with what appeared to be âCDsâ and âvinylâ everywhere.
Headphones were scattered around, with about three people using them to listen to something.
Curiously, Dan walked over to one of the tables with CDs, and took some out. The reflective discs took Danâs breath away, and he only grew more curious when seeing them. What did they contain?
Narrowing his eyes, Dan looked at one of the other visitors, and studied them carefully. The woman had one of the headphones on, and connected to that was a long cable.
When Dan followed the cable with his eyes, he saw that it was plugged into a big black box, and Dan furrowed his brows. Where was the disc? Did she use it at all?
Answering his question, the woman stood up from her place and walked over to the black box, where she clicked on a button that ejaculated the small disc from it. She pulled it slowly out, and placed it back into itâs case.
Figuring you had to put the CD in the big box, Dan walked over to an unoccupied one and carefully slid in the disc he was holding. Then he once again, followed the cable that was attached to it with his eyes, and picked up the connected headphones. With his eyes wide from concentration and his mouth a little hung open, he did exactly what the woman did just before. He put the headphones over his ears.
A sound that gave him goose bumps filled his ears, and Dan bit his lip. This sound was a lot more energetic than the sound he heard outside, and because of the headphones it appeared to be playing inside his head. It was overwhelming, and Dan promptly sat down on the floor to concentrate better.
The beat was fast and the notes were high and the whole sound sparked with energy, Dan unconsciously started bobbing his head to it. It gave him shivers all over, and when he closed his eyes the sound seemed to bet only more intense.
The sound consumed him entirely, it pulled him under and he loved it. He hadnât heard anything like this before, but now that he had he felt like he had missed something essential all his life. He smiled and bowed his head down so he could get lost even further than before. Up until a point where he had forgotten all about the world around him, and the store he was in and the other people inside the store, and thatâs why he was so shocked when someone tapped his shoulder.
âI see you like Muse!â A voice burst out above him, and immediately, Dan dropped his headphones to the floor and opened his eyes wide. Still slightly dazed by the sound he just heard, he blinked rapidly a few times and let his eyes adjust to the light before he looked up.
And when he finally did so, a rush of energy raced through his body like he had never felt before. The black hair, the blue eyes, the light skin and the sweetest smile. Everything was right, everything matched. It was Phil.
Feeling his heart almost beat itâs way out of his chest; Dan untangled himself from the headphones and pushed himself up on his knees. With his mouth wide open, staring at the boy in front of him, he pulled his photo from his pocket and held it in both his hands.
It was him. It was definitely him. The hair was a little shorter now and his features appeared to have gotten bigger and more defined, but it was Phil. His nose and his ears and the way his mouth was a little crooked when he smiled. It was his alien boy, right in front of him.
âA-Are you okay?â Philâs mouth moved and Danâs eyes were transfixed on every movement, seeing the muscles move so smoothly. His picture never moved. He had been staring at the same, smiling Phil for so long, he couldnât imagine Phil differently. But now his smile was fading a little, and his brows duck lower, into an expression you could call âconcernedâ or âconfusedâ as Dan had read in the books.
âDo you understand English?â Phil asked again, and this time Dan also listened to his voice. He quickly nodded, his eyes still not torn away from Phil, and he tried to smile a little but with his body reacting like this, that was almost unable to do.
It was like his body was frozen, and he wanted to scream but he just didnât know how. He couldnât speak like humans did, but Phil also couldnât hear him when he spoke to him, spoke like he always used to do on his home planet. Humans didnât hear his words somehow, and up until now Dan hadnât realised that could be a problem.
Blinking a few times, Dan finally came to his senses somehow, and turned his picture of Phil around to show the real Phil it. With his eyes wide and his finger pointed towards the photo and then to Phil and back to the photo, he hoped Phil would get the message.
Phil got the message.
His eyebrows ducked even lower and his mouth turned into a frown, and he slowly reached out to grab the picture of himself. Dan didnât let him though; he moved it out of range and held it close to his chest, as to say the picture was important to him. Doing this made Philâs smile disappear even more, and Dan didnât know what to make of this. Was he angry with him? Or was he confused like before?
âI know you! Phil, you are my best friend, I am in love with you!â Dan yelled, furrowing his eyebrows and focussing so hard on Philâs head his own head started to hurt. His message didnât seem to reach Phil, though, and when Phil was still worriedly looking at him he gave up and let his arms fall.
âWhere did you get that photo? Who are you?â Phil asked more questions and Dan was lost, how could he talk like that? Why couldnât Dan himself talk like that?
Opening his mouth, Dan moved his tongue around and tried to make a noise, but there was no sound whatsoever no matter how hard he tried. He was still screaming only silence. How could he ever tell Phil he had received the picture on his planet, and then travelled all the way to here?
âYou canât talk?â Phil said, and Dan slowly shook his head. âI-Iâm so sorry!â Also dropping to his knees, Phil got a little closer to Dan and raised his hands as if he were to grab Danâs. He didnât, he let them hover for a second before lowering them again, but the fact that he thought about it brought a blush to Danâs cheeks. âIâm sorry⊠I shouldâve known.â Then Phil held his hands up and started moving them rapidly, creating shapes in the air.
Dan looked up with raised eyebrows, and focused on the shapes Phil was making.
Do you know sign language?
Shocked, Dan moved back and looked at Phil wide-eyed. How did he know what Phil was saying? With his hands? Somehow, his mind had translated the shapes to words without Dan noticing, like it was the easiest thing to do. How did that even happen?
âYou want one, Dan? For your boyfriend?â Reiâs words echoed through his head, and suddenly Dan remembered the fish that translated everything. Just focus on what you want to say, and the other will understand, Dan thought.
Hesitatingly, Dan raised his hands, and answered Phil with a simple âyesâ, to start things with. His hands moved fluently and Dan knew exactly what he was doing. It wasnât even like his hands were moving themselves, Dan was in full control all the way through. With a confident smile on his face, he lowered his hands again, and looked Phil in the eye.
âHow did you get that photo?â Phil asked the question again, and this time Dan knew how to answer correctly.
âIt was sent to my planet.âDan signed slowly, and then Philâs brows ducked for what seemed to be the fifth time since they had met.
âYour planet?â
âI am not from here.â
âYouâre an alien?â
âMy name is Dan.â
âDan, how did you get my photo?â
Didnât Phil understand? Dan stared at him for a moment before he raised his hands and started signing again.
âIt was sent to my planet, Musca. I received it through a signal from earth. It has your coordinates on it.âWith his eyes widened hopefully, he studies Philâs face for his reaction.
âI-I donâtâŠâ Phil started, but then he closed his eyes and pressed his thumbs against the sides of his face like his head hurts. âI donât understand how this isnât a joke. Dan, are you lost? Where do you live?â
âI am not lost. I came looking for you, I found you.â Dan signed, and the expression on Philâs face got more complicated every time Dan signed another word.
âF-For me?â Phil pointed at himself with widened eyes, and Dan nodded frantically.
âWhy did you come looking for me?â
âThis photo. A long time ago I received it through my solaris.â Phil frowned. âA data reader. The data I received translated into this picture, along with your coordinates.
âWhen I saw you,â Dan was signing faster now, his hands almost sloppy from excitement, âyou were extraordinary. I had never seen eyes and hair like you have, skin like you have, and you were always smiling at me. Every since I have this photo with me I wanted to meet you, so I became a pilot. I flew here so I could find you, Phil. Iâm in lo-â
âYou became a pilot because of me?â
âOf course.â
âI donât understandâŠâ Phil stepped back, and it took all of Danâs concentration not to take a step closer to Phil. âIâm not that special.â
âYou are to me.â
âDan⊠I donât even know you yet.â Philâs voice sounded off and Danâs cheerful smile fell. Didnât Phil think he was special too? The idea of an alien was so special to Dan, why wasnât it special here? Of did Phil simply not believe him? Dan didnât know.
âIâm sorry, but I have to get back to work now.â Phil said, and walked away from Dan.
Dan watched Phil do his work, lifting heavy boxes full of cdâs and cleaning up the tables. The shop must be closing soon, Dan thought as he stood there. He really didnât know what to do now. He had found Phil, but what after? He couldnât go back. Phil had made Dan into who he was today, and he needed to know that. He needed to know how much he meant for Dan.
I donât even know you yet
The sentence kept repeating itself inside Danâs head as he watched Phil.
I donât even know you
It was as if Danâs world could collapse around him any second. What if Phil meant he didnât want to get to know Dan? That he hated him? Sure, an alien was something you didnât see every day, but maybe humans hated them? Maybe Dan wasnât meant to be on this planet. Maybe Phil wanted to have nothing to do with Dan.
A light tap on Danâs shoulder sent him back to where he was standing with a gasp, and he turned around. An unknown girl with light brown hair and green eyes stared at him with a smile that was a little too bright.
âHi, weâre closing, so Iâm going to have to ask you to leave.â She said, and Dan nodded. With his eyes searching for Phil, but finding nothing, he made his way to the door and stepped outside. Things couldnât get worse, but he didnât leave. He couldnât just give up on Phil because the shop was closing. If the shop was closing Phil must be done with working soon, so he would have time to talk, right?
donât even know you
The annoying sentence was still ringing through his head, and it wouldnât go away no matter what Dan did.
I donât even know you yet
Dan sighed and sat down on the pavement, his eyes on the now dark shop. He would wait for Phil, no matter how hard his head was screaming to give up. Maybe the sentence wasnât too bad after all.
There was movement on the side of the shop, and Dan heard two people talking. Turning around Dan saw two familiar faces, and his eyes widened.
I donât even know you yet
Repeating the sentence one more time, Dan noticed something he hadnât before. Yet. the word was short and seemed unimportant, but it suddenly gave Dan hope.
Looking up, he saw Phil was staring at him and when they made eye contact they both started blushing. The corners of Danâs mouth turned up, and then the most unexpected thing happened.
Phil smiled back at him, and his eyes glowed in the moonlight. Dan walked up to Phil, and threw aside every insecurity he had about him before.
Philâs colleague walked away as they had said their goodbyes and Phil shifted his attention completely to Dan.
âWhy were you still sitting outside?â Phil questioned, âItâs starting to get cold very soon and you donât even have a jacket with you.â
âI was waiting for you,â Dan signed back as his heart ached a bit at what Phil said. Obviously he was worried about Dan!
A loud sigh emitted from Philâs mouth and he turned his head away from Danâs, seemingly looking at a spot right beside it. He rubbed at his temples and with another sigh he reluctantly stated âLook, Dan. I understand that you probably donât mean any harm, but we are still strangers so I would appreciate if you wouldnât act like we know each other.â
âBut I do know you, Ph-â
âNo, you donât, Dan. For some reason, you have a picture of me, but that doesnât mean you know me. You know what I look like, but you donât know what I am like.â
Philâs voice started to sound more and more frustrated with every word he said and Dan started to feel more desperate as the conversation went on. Did Phil not like him after all? On the other side, he had clearly seen a blush on his face when they locked eyes and he did sound worried about him when asking about him still being outside. He felt so confused and didnât know what to say.
When Dan didnât reply, Phil turned slightly away from him and started to leave with a small âSee you later, Dan.â
No. No, Phil couldnât be leaving him here on his own, in this city he didnât know. Phil knew he wasnât from here, right? It really looked like Phil was leaving him here, though, and Dan felt helplessness welling up inside of him. He wanted to shout after him, but figured that maybe wouldnât be the best plan.
Phil had told him âSee you later!â, but what did later exactly mean? Could it be that he wanted Dan to follow him and see him at his house? It seemed logical in Danâs head and he didnât have many other options left (as he didnât know how to get back to his spaceship) so he just went with it. Out of precaution, in the case Phil didnât want to see him just yet, he kept his distance. Although, not so far off he could lose sight of the black mop of hair that grew on Philâs head.
Sometimes it was hard not losing Phil in the big crowds of people heading home after work or shopping, but after a while they went to a much quieter area of London and it was easier for Dan to see where Phil was going. He really hoped he didnât look suspicious to anyone as he didnât want to embarrass himself any further and he didnât want Phil to find out his plan.
Phil walked up the stairs to one of many doors in a large building and opened the door to get inside. Much to his disapproval, Dan had now lost sight of Phil, but he guessed this had to be his home.
Slowly he neared the building as he saw lights being turned on one by one and he could make out the silhouette of Phil against the curtains. Even like this, Phil still looked beautiful. There was a small stroke of plants in front of the building and Dan decided to hide between them for a while. In the mean time he could observe Phil and figure out what would be a good time to knock on his door to let him he was here.
Philâs shadow was mesmerizing and Dan felt he could look at it for ages, just walking around, doing nothing in particular. Since Dan had no idea of how the time on earth worked, he could have sat in front of Philâs house for minutes or hours, he didnât know. However, when the sky was completely black, Dan was alarmed when he saw the lights in Philâs house getting dark again.
Quickly he went to Philâs door and knocked on it as hard as he could. Phil definitely had to hear him, he couldnât just leave Dan here outside his door. That was when a loud thumping was heard, along with the sound of keys turning in the lock and the door opened.
âWho is-â Philâs grumpy voice said and then stopped when he saw Dan standing in front of his door.
A look of complete shock and surprise was written on his face and for a moment he couldnât bring out a word so he just stared at Dan.
He swiftly regained his composure, but stammered âDan? What are you doing here? Have you followed me home? Oh my god, Dan.â
âDonât you want me here?â Dan signed, half surprised, half on the edge of tearing up.
âDan, I told you already-â
Phil stopped halfway through, when he noticed the tears streaming down Danâs face. It was a scenario he thought would only happen in movies and television series: a mute boy he barely knew was standing on the steps of his door, crying and he had no idea what to do.
Dan felt a hand softly pressing on his shoulder, followed by a soft voice saying âOkay, why donât you come in for a bit, Iâll make you some tea and you tell me exactly what is going on.â
He was through the hall of Philâs house, up the stairs and was now sitting on the sofa in the living room, while Phil was making him tea in the kitchen. During his training on Musca, Dan had learned about humans using the warm liquid as a setting to create socializing events. Some kinds even had a calming nature and Dan was sure he could use some of that now.
By the time Phil came back with the tea, his tears had dried and he felt somewhat less miserable, but he was still hiccupping. Phil handed him the cup and the warm exterior felt nice to Danâs hands.
âBe careful, itâs still pretty hot and I donât want you to burn your throat on it,â Phil said with a small smile.
Dan shot him a grateful smile back and started blowing on the liquid to cool it down.
âWhy did you follow me home, Dan?â Phil started reluctantly, afraid to scare Dan away.
âI donât know. I just- I just donât have any other place to go to,â he signed back, his face falling.
âWhy didnât you tell me you were homeless, then?â Phil questioned.
âI am not. I have a home, but not on earth.â
Phil sighed for what felt the millionth time today and said âYou really wonât let go of that story, huh?â
âITâS TRUE!â Dan wanted to shout, when he remembered it didnât work that way for Phil so instead he just shot Phil a pleading look.
âLook, this goes in against everything people have ever told me about strangers, but Iâll let you sleep here on the couch tonight.â
âWeâll figure things out in the morning,â he continued, âand maybe we could even find that spaceship of yoursâ he added jokingly.
In return Phil received a signed âthank youâ from Dan, followed by a glare.
Phil walked up the stairs and after Dan had finished his tea, he laid down on the couch. It took a while for him to finally fall asleep, todayâs adventures playing vividly through his mind. He couldnât remember a day where he had felt this terrible and even in his dreams his embarrassing moments in the underground and the miscommunication with Phil wouldnât stop following him.
--
Bright light shining upon his face woke Dan up the next morning. Waking up in different settings every day really didnât do Dan any good, but soon he remember where he was. He was in Philâs house, in his living room, on his couch and Phil was standing topless in the kitchen, making breakfast.
âGood morning, Dan,â Phil greeted with a tired smile.
âMorning,â Dan signed back.
âI have a day off today, as itâs sunday, so what would you like to do?â Phil asked while shaking something in a bowl.
âI want to go to my spaceship, I donât have food anymore,â Dan replied.
âDan, you can have some cereal too, I wouldnât have let you starve to death!â Phil responded giggling, while pouring a white liquid into the bowl.
âAnd besides, where even is that so-called spaceship of yours?â he added sceptically.
âHolland Parkâ
--
âThe red button is for emergencies, luckily I never had to use it before.â Dan walked around his ship, Phil trailing behind him with big eyes. There wasnât that much space inside, but it was big enough for the two of them.
âThese three handles are for steering, and this one is for speed,â Dan signed and pointed at the black button in front of him. âItâs easy.â
âSo⊠this really is your spaceship?â Phil asked, his eyes still wide from shock and he looked around the inside of Danâs ship.
âOf course it is.â Dan stood up and smiled at Phil. âDo you like it?â
Phil didnât answer. âYou really are from another planet.â
âI told you yesterday, silly! But you just didnât believe me.â Dan smiled hesitatingly, and looked at Phil with expectant eyes. He really hoped he wasnât going to laugh at him again like he did before.
âYouâŠâ Phil swallowed and his blue eyes made contact with Danâs brown ones. âYouâre an A-Alien?â
âIf you insist, Iâm really just another species. In fact, youâre the alien to me!â Â
âB-But you⊠you look just like me?â Phil hesitated, and Dan felt his eyes scan over his body.
Phil had a point, Dan had to admit. On the outside Dan looked like any other human. He had two arms, a face in the same position and he could walk just like Phil could. He had seen worse.
But Dan was different. He couldnât talk like Phil could, and his skin was brown, just like his hair and his eyes. Everyone on his planet had brown features, unlike Phil, whose skin was light and he had blue eyes. On top of that-
âWould you like to see my wings?â
âYour what?â
âMy wings!â Dan signed, as he began taking off Philâs jacket he could lend.
âYou have⊠wings?â Phil had lost the ability to blink all of a sudden and Dan scrunched his nose up. He looked utterly adorable like that.
Dan let his jacket fall to the floor and keeping a good eye on Phil and his movements, he swiftly took off his shirt. It was a bit cold inside the ship, without a shirt, but Dan managed. His blood was full of adrenaline.
âWhat are you doing?â Phil managed to croak out, but Dan didnât bother to answer because he was turning around. The two large tattoos on his back and upper arms came in Philâs view, and Dan could hear him suck in his breath. He smiled, he was so proud of his wings.
Stretching his arms above his head, Dan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It had been a while since heâd used his wings. Slowly, Danâs wings peeled themselves off of his shoulders and started fluttering in the air. A small smile appeared on Danâs face, and then he lifted himself off the ground. At the sound of his wings Dan couldnât hear Phil swallowing hard, but as soon as he turned around with his feet some inches above the ground, he saw Philâs stunned look and let out another laugh.
âWhat do you think?â He signed, his hands a little sloppy while hovering in the air, but Phil opened his mouth and stammered some words all the same.
âI-I donât knowâŠbut itâs beautiful.â
A blush spread on Danâs cheeks as he heard that. Phil was stood on the floor a few inches beneath him, and when a leap of faith hit him, Dan started flying towards him. His eyes were focussed on Philâs blue ones, so he didnât see everything that surrounded them, and just as he was only a couple of inches away, a sharp pain rushed through his body and his knees hit the floor hard.
His shoulder had hit the sharp point of a cupboard. There was no blood, but as his wings stilled, Dan could already see a dark red spot forming a bruise underneath his skin.
Looking up, Phil still looked frightened, but something had changed. He wasnât scared of Dan anymore; he was concerned for Dan. He got down on the same level as Dan and slowly placed a warm hand on his shoulder. âAre you okay?â He asked, his voice full of concern, and Dan slowly nodded.
He didnât actually pay attention to whether he was okay or not, because in that moment Philâs hand squeezed his shoulder and breathing became a second necessity. Slowly, Phil stroked down Danâs arm, and bypassed his wings.
âC-Can I touch them?â Phil whispered, his eyes on Danâs wings, and Dan nodded. Phil moved his hand towards one of the wings, and very carefully, stroked the corners. A shiver went over Danâs body as Phil touched his wings gently. They were very sensitive.
âDid I hurt you?â Phil immediately asked as he saw Dan shivering, but Dan shook his head and moved his wings towards Philâs hand again. This time Phil traced the nerves that made Danâs wings look like dragonfly wings, and goosebumps appeared on his skin.
âYouâre so beautiful,â Phil whispered, and his eyes immediately shot up to Danâs as if he were checking to see if it was okay, but Dan only stared back with his mouth slightly agape and his heart trying to beat itâs way out of his chest.
âYouâre beautiful, too,â he replied in his head, because only there he could find the courage to say it. His hands remained motionless.
They sat like that for what seemed forever, just staring at each other with faint blushes on their cheeks. Inside the spaceship, everything was quiet, and time seemed to stand still. Dan sought eye contact with Phil. Phil noticed, and with a small smile, he looked at Dan too. Danâs heart was beating erratically in his chest and the moment was so intimate.
Suddenly, their peaceful world came crashing down with a bang, as about three different sirens erupted from the cockpit.
âFuckâ Dan cursed inside his head, a voice he hadnât used in a long time, and he rushed away from Phil to see what was wrong. The signals that had gone off were coming from the surveillance cameras and the invisibility mode, meaning there was someone walking nearby while the ship wasnât invisible.
While Dan heard Phil walking up to him from behind, he reacted quickly; turning the invisibility handle immediately, and turning the sirens off again.
âWhat was wrong?â
âThere is someone near the ship and I donât know if they saw it or not. If they didnât, then thatâs good, but it also means we canât leave the ship for as long as theyâre here,â Dan signed quickly, and Phil nodded. They both looked at the person visible on the screen, and watched as they sat down and pulled out a whole lunch packet from their bag. It wasnât a crowded park, but still a park.
âNot our lucky dayâŠâ Phil said with a giggle in his voice and Dan gave him a playful slap on the arm. He moved one finger up to his mouth and signalled Phil to be quiet.
âWe have no choice but to stay here. If we go out weâll appear out of thin air and then weâll surely be in trouble,â Dan signed, and Phil slowly nodded, understanding.
âLuckily we can be extremely quiet,â Phil signed back, and a smile appeared on Danâs face. He had completely forgotten Phil knew sign language too.
After glancing on the screen one more time, Dan pulled Phil away from the cockpit into a much bigger room in the ship. It wasnât ideal, as there was no furniture whatsoever, but it was what they had. They sat down cross-legged on the floor facing each other.
âThis will have to doâŠâ Dan signed, and Phil let out a low chuckle before remembering not to make noise, and his hand shot up to cover his mouth.
âSorry.â
âItâs fine.â Dan smiled, and shuffled a bit closer to Phil when he found the courage. âHow come you know sign language? You never told me.â
âMy brother⊠He is deaf,â Phil signed, and watched the smile fade off Danâs face. âItâs the only way besides writing I can talk to him, so my parents sent me to class for it as soon as I knew how to talk, really.â He looked up as he tried to remember when he had learned it, but it was such a long time ago he barely could. Sign language was just another way of talking now; it didnât even feel different anymore.
Looking back at Dan, Phil realised it didnât feel strange telling him all of this. Normally he would wait a long time before he told friends about his family, but with Dan he felt like he could just tell anything without it being too personal all of a sudden. He could trust Dan, even if he was an alien; Phil knew he could trust him, somehow. It was a new kind of feeling, but he liked it.
âIâm sorry for your brotherâŠâ Danâs big brown eyes were full of sympathy as he looked at Phil again, and Phil smiled back.
âYou donât have to be, my brother is just another person like you and me.â Dan frowned. âWell⊠a-a person like meâŠâ Philâs eyebrows knitted together as he tried to make out his words, but it wasnât going too well. âIâm sorry⊠I shouldnât have said that.â
âItâs okay. I technically am a different species, but our worlds are relatively the same. I once had a boyfriend who was deaf just like your brother,â Dan smiled at the memory, â but on our planet we talk differently so it was never a problem. He just couldnât hear the leaves rustling or the school bell ringing.â Dan smiled reassuringly, and saw Philâs expression soften.
âHow do you talk, then?â
âOur species has shared minds. A part of our thoughts can be shared with others, sometimes one person and sometimes a whole class. I think you can compare it to selective mind reading, where the reader can only read what the other person wants him to read.â Dan explained, âI could be talking to you right now⊠But as you donât have that part in your brain like I do, you just canât hear me. I can yell at you whenever I want!â Dan smiled.
âHave you yelled at me often?â Phil asked.
âIn the beginning I yelled at everything. I had no idea humans couldnât hear me, so I got mad. But then you started talking to me, and you even took your time to understand what I was trying to say. When I had found this way to communicate with you, I never yelled at you again.â
Dan shuffled closer to Phil than before, to the point where their hands were almost touching as they spoke, but Dan didnât mind. He wanted to be close to Phil.
âHow come you know sign language, then?â Phil suddenly asked, and that left Dan speechless for a bit.
âI donât,â he signed, he really didnât know how he was going to explain this one to Phil.
âIâm using a translator to know what youâre saying, and I have no idea how it works, but without thinking about it I can speak the language too. Itâs really small, like really small, and itâs in my ear. I want to show you but once I take it out Iâm afraid Iâll forget everything.â
âThatâs really impressive, I wish we had those in high school so I would never have to take German classes again. Or any other language class.â Phil smiled, and Dan inched even closer, the smile almost permanently on his face.
They sit like that for a long time, just talking. They had barely ever really talked before, only briefly, but Dan didnât actually know Phil. But in here, on the floor of Danâs spaceship, words came easily. They talked and talked until the person outside was long gone, but they didnât plan on moving anytime soon. When it was getting a bit darker, Dan was sitting so close to Phil that if he moved any closer they wouldnât be able to talk anymore.
âCan I ask you something?â Phil spoke up, and Dan nodded quickly. Whatever it could be, Dan would most likely be okay with it.
âHow did you come out to your parents?â
 âI⊠What do you mean?â Dan responded. He didnât really know what Phil was asking. âCome out of what?â Dan wondered if this was another thing his planet did differently.
 The corners of Philâs mouth perked up and suddenly he was laughing. âItâs just a saying,â Phil said, trying to maintain his giggles. âLike when did you tell your parents you liked boys? You mentioned having a boyfriend before.â
âI didnât have to come out,â Dan answered; he spoke slowly because it felt like this was a sensitive subject for Phil. âThere is no difference between having a boyfriend or a girlfriend on Musca.â
âOh.â Phil simply said, his smile gone. âI wish it was like that here.â He signed, letting out a small laugh, but it didnât sound happy. Â
 âWhat happened?â
âHere on earth, liking someone from the same gender is a touchy subject. Even if itâs mostly officially accepted in Britain, itâs still ânot normalâ, and people get called out on it a lot. My-My parents didnât take it well, either.â Philâs smile fell and Dan could see he was holding back tears. âI mean, Iâm talking to them again and I guess theyâve accepted it now, but when I told them I was gay they yelled at me. For years, it was like I wasnât even their sonâŠâ
Phil started crying quietly and Dan didnât answer with words. Instead he inched even closer until their legs are entangled and he can lean forward to wrap his arms tightly around Phil. He held him close, and stroked his back with both hands to calm Phil down. Dan couldnât imagine what it must feel like to have this happening to you, but seeing how Phil reacted it must be one of the worst things ever.
His eyes still wide opened, Dan rested his head on Philâs shoulder and felt Phil do the same. They were almost melted together, and Dan couldnât quite believe it. It was nothing like a romantic embrace, but it was an embrace and Dan didnât want to let go. Ever.
Philâs body felt soft and warm and so comforting Dan kind of wanted to start crying too, but he had to stay strong for Phil.
âThank youâŠâ Phil whispered into Danâs shoulder and Dan could only nod. Without wanting it to, he inched back and retracted his arms from Philâs back so he could reply.
âIâm sorry you went through that. Iâm sorry I wasnât there for you,â Dan signed. He couldâve been there, heâs had Philâs picture for a long time. If he had acted earlier, maybe he couldâve been there for Phil. But he hadnât, and that made Dan feel guilty in the weirdest way possible.
âDonât be sorry. It happened a long time ago.â
Dan nodded again, and glanced up to the surveillance camera, where he could see only darkness. âWhat time is it?â
âAlmost nine in the evening,â Phil said, looking on the screen of his phone, and he smiled a bit. âWeâve been here for almost six hours.â To confirm what Phil had said, his stomach rumbled loudly.
âWant to grab some dinner?â Phil asked, and Dan nodded as fast as possible, before Phil changed his mind.
They left Danâs ship and stepped into the empty park. It was late, the sun was long gone, and post people had left for home. They quickly left the park and walked up to the more crowded part of town, where the restaurants were located. Dimmed lights filled the streets and the soft chatter from the people still outside was almost soothing, spreading a calming atmosphere over the city.
Phil walked close to Dan, so close it almost seemed like he wanted to protect him. So close, Dan could easily grab his hand if only he had the courage. It felt so stupid, not being able to grab his hand even though he had been talking to Phil all day without a doubt in his mind. But this, it was different. Dan couldnât tell what it was, but grabbing Philâs hand wouldnât be the same as talking to him. Like he would be crossing a line he didnât even know was there.
Confused, Danâs eyebrows ducked together and he stared at the ground, walking slightly behind Phil as he struggled with his thoughts. After a while, he felt a pair of eyes on him and he looked up again.
âWhatâs wrong?â Phil asked, using his normal voice again. His hands were unoccupied, but he still chose not to use them.
âNothingâŠâ Dan signed, having no choice but to use his hands as he talked. âJust thinking.â
âAre you worrying about something?â
âCan I hold your hand?â Dan suddenly asked, his eyes widening as he realised it. He quickly looked away, afraid of what Phil would do, but he didnât do anything.
He just smiled and stuck his hand out. And Dan took it with pleasure. The blush on his face didnât go away for the entire remaining walk.
When they were almost there, Dan noticed that more people stared at them like there was something unusual about them, and Dan wondered if it was because of the handholding. Did people think they were a couple? Dan thought of Philâs story he had told before. Was handholding already too much for people?
Dan loosened his grip on Philâs hand to test if he wanted to let go, but he only held his hand tighter. Immediately after, they turned a corner and Phil led them into a cozy restaurant. The small space was filled with decorative flowers, and fairy lights and candles scattered across the place painted the room a warm yellow. It smelled of spices and rich flavours Dan couldnât recognize.
A lady welcomed them, and after glancing at their still intertwined hands, her smile grew even wider. âTable for two?â She asked, and Phil nodded. They were led into the restaurant, apparently to one of the small tables in the corner, and Dan was forced to let go of Philâs hand as they had to maneuver through several tables.
Finally, they could sit down. âWhat would you like to drink?â She asked them, her head turning towards Phil first. After Phil ordered his drink, a cherry coke (no idea what that was), the lady turned her head towards Dan, and Dan just stared back, having no idea what to do.
âWhat would you like to drink, dear?â She asked, and Dan looked at Phil nervously.
âWhat do I do?â He signed, and Phil chuckled. He looked back at the waitress, who now had an understanding expression. âMake that two cherry cokes.â
--
Some time later, Phil had explained the taste of the âcherry cokeâ the best way he could, but when the two drinks arrived and Dan took an experimental sip, he still nearly choked on it. It prickled, the bubbles exploding in his mouth, and it completely caught him unguarded.
Phil let out a loud laugh, and Dan glared at him, the sweet taste of presumably cherry still on his tongue. He took another sip, this time prepared for the bubbles, and actually tried to drink it like a normal person. The taste felt unnatural; too chemical for some reason, and his teeth gritted horribly even if he only bit down a little bit. His mother would absolutely not approve of this drink.
Secretly, he liked it. The sweet taste made him think of Phil somehow, and he took another sip. Phil was still studying him, intrigued by his reaction.
âDo you like it?â He asked with a smile playing on his face.
âKind ofâŠâ Dan signed, but he grinned widely at Phil nevertheless.
That evening Phil had Dan taste countless of foods, from spaghetti to spicey chicken, strawberries to lemon cakes and chocolate. By the time they were finished Dan was tired from eating, but the grin plastered on his face wouldnât go away. They walked out hand in hand, and Dan tried to steal glances countless of times even though Phil noticed every time.
âItâs late. I wouldnât go back to the park if I were you,â Phil said, looking away from Dan. âYou could sleep at mine again?â
Dan nodded and thought back of when he was in Philâs apartment. He became a little nervous thinking about that, but then he remembered Phil didnât exactly invite him that time. This time he did, so it would most definitely be a lot less awkward.
When they walked the all too familiar road to Philâs apartment, Dan didnât once let go of Philâs hand. In fact, when it got colder and Danâs shoulders started shaking, Phil threw not only his jacket over his shoulders, but his arm too. Cuddled up in Philâs embrace, they crossed the last road and entered the building. Philâs apartment was almost at the top, so they climbed the stairs, Phil almost pulling Dan up in the end.
âDonât laugh,â Dan signed, and rested his hands on his knees, panting heavily. Phil bit his lip, obviously holding in his laugh, and grabbed his key from his pocket.
He opened the door and Dan walked in after him, he quickly glanced into the bedroom, and his cheeks heated up. âIâll sleep on the couch again,â he signed, but Phil stared at him like he had lost his mind.
âIâm not letting you sleep on the couch!â Phil gently picked up his coat from Danâs shoulders. âMy bed it big enough for the two of us, you really donât have to worry.â
âI donât want to be-â
âYouâre not a bother!â Philâs two hands found Danâs shoulders and he looked at Dan with that smile again that caused Dan to fall in love with him even more. âYouâre sleeping in my bed. Period,â Phil stated, and Dan blushed.
Phil must have noticed, but he didnât let it show. Instead, he led Dan to his bedroom and dug around in his wardrobe until he had found an appropriate shirt for Dan to use as pyjamas.
âIâll⊠Iâll just turn around,â Phil whispered, and Dan nodded. Dan turned around too, just to be sure, and carefully took his shirt off. He wasnât used to wearing tight clothing like this, tight around his shoulders and restraining his wings more than usual. Stretching his arms above his head and moving his shoulders in circles, he let his wings come off his shoulders for a second. It calmed him down.
In that moment, Phil heard the sound of Danâs wings from behind his back, and couldnât help turn around. His eyes fell on Dan, his bare back facing him and his wings hovering loosely around his body. They were beautiful. Translucent, with splatters of gold all over. Phil stared, unashamed, and his eyes followed the delicate nerves of Danâs wings. They looked so fragile, but so strong too. Phil couldnât take his eyes off.
Only when Dan pulled Philâs shirt over his head in a quick motion and turned around again, Phil froze and stuttered an apology
âI-I Iâm sorryâŠâ His eyes widened and he quickly looked away, the guilt written all over his face. To his surprise, Dan smiled at him, and held his hands up.
âCan I use your bathroom?â
--
Draping the covers over the both of them, Dan looked at Phil laying beside him. His eyes were already closed, obviously tired after such a long day, and his black hair contrasted with the green and blue pillow. Even after what such a long time, Phil still amazed Dan. He had waited so long to meet him, in the meantime just staring at one of his photographs, and now the man was existing, living, right next to him. Danâs breath caught in his throat just thinking about it.
Tired himself, Dan closed his eyes and thought about Phil a little longer. His blue eyes filled his mind and he smiled, unconsciously shuffling a little closer to Phil, whose back was facing him. Dan could feel the warmth radiating from him, and when a cold breeze went through the room he shuffled even closer.
When he did so, he felt his knees touching Philâs legs, and his eyes shot wide open. If he retracted his legs now, would that seem like he didnât want to be close to Phil? And would that offend Phil? But if he kept his knees there, wouldnât it be all way too soon? Wouldnât it be weird?
Dan was panicking inside, and by the time he had to make his decision it was already way too late to retract his knees from Phil. Keeping them there, Dan closed his eyes and let the silence calm him down again. And when he fell asleep next to Phil he might have shuffled even a little bit closer, just to feel his warmth.
--
They woke up from the sunlight blinding their eyes, having forgotten to shut the blinds the day before. Dan found himself with his nose buried into Philâs chest. The colourful patterns on Philâs shirt dizzied him, but then it clicked, and he was wide awake.
âGood MorningâŠâ Philâs sleepy voice sounded above him, and Dan detected a faint chuckle. Dan sort of lifted his hand to wave at Phil, but he let it drop over Philâs chest immediately after again. It was way too soon to wake up. Phil laughed louder at that, his chest shaking slightly, and Dan turned his head to look at him.
Philâs blue eyes locked with his, and Dan blushed, only now truly realising in which position he lay. He slowly pushed himself off of Phil, the cold air hitting his bare arms, and yawned.
âYou canât possibly still be tired?â Phil chuckled, but Dan nodded. He had dreamed of the stars in Musca, and about his family. He didnât miss them, now that he was with Phil, he didnât miss anything from his old life, but he still thought about them once in a while.
The dream was heavy though, and it had made him even more tired.
âLetâs get out of bed, and then iâll make us some coffee.â Phil offered, but Dan shook his head. He wanted to lie in the crook of Philâs neck for at least an hour still. âIâll carry you if you donât come out of bed,â Phil joked.
âDo it,â Dan signed, lifting his hand above his head while he smiled at Phil, challenging.
Phil took his challenge, and while he rolled up his sleeves Dan smiled so his dimples were visible. With a heavy sigh, Phil picked Dan up from the bed and held him close. Dan wrapped his arms around his neck and let himself be carried to the couch in the living room, where Phil dropped him with another sigh.
Dan smiled, his mouth wide open, and looked up at Phil who was rubbing his back and pulling a face like he had just carried Dan all the way up the stairs. âNow make me your coffee.â Dan joked, biting his lip. Phil shot him an annoyed, still playful look but turned around anyway and walked towards the kitchen.
âYouâre not the queen!â He shouted.
Dan gasped so loud Phil could still hear it all the way from the kitchen.
While Phil was making the coffee, which took quite some time, Dan found the time to rummage around Philâs apartment, something he didnât had the chance to before.
The portraits on his shelves all displayed four people. Two older people, presumably Philâs parents, and two younger boys. Dan immediately recognized one as Phil, having his features memorized in such a way he would always recognize Phil. And the other boy had to be Philâs brother.
To the left of the pictures, were countless of boxes Dan had seen in Philâs store. CD boxes, only longer and thicker. On the sides were the titles, which Dan couldnât read, but the colours of the boxes were bright and seems really happy. Just as Dan wanted to pick one off the shelve, Phil came back inside with two steaming mugs in his hand.
 âArenât you impressed of my game collection?â He said, with a smile in his voice. Dan turned his head and frowned. Those were games? âWhy are the games in such little boxes?â He signed, wanting to know. He had only seen games in bigger boxes, or completely other games, like soccer, which wasnât in a box at all.
 âTheyâre virtual games. You play them on the television or your computer. You know what a computer is?â Phil asked, and Dan nodded quickly. Or course he knew what a computer was, he had built one himself!
 âDo you want to play a game?â Phil asked, handing Dan his mug of coffee and sipping on the other one himself. Dan nodded again, and let his fingers skim over the different games. He picked one with bright colours, a red and green figure on the front.
 âMario Kart! Good choiceâŠâ Phil said confidently. He must be really good at this game, Dan thought.
Phil put the disk in a box underneath his television, and the screen lit up. âHow do I play it?â Dan asked, having no idea how this thing would work.
âHere, take this console,â Phil handed him a white rectangle with buttons, and Dan stared at it, confused. âYou press the small button here to start the car, and you turn it like a steering wheel to drive it. Itâs really easy!â Phil pointed at some of the other buttons and told them what they were, but Dan thought he got it. It would be like driving a car but then not actually being in a car. The car would be on the screen.
The idea seemed a bit too abstract for him, but when he saw the small cars on the screen, one above the other, he understood. They both sat down on the couch, Dan close to Phil, and Phil pressed a button which made everything on the screen move. The game had started.
âNow press the button!â Phil said loud, and Dan quickly did so. A couple of grey clouds of smoke erupted from the car on the screen, and it spinned around for a second, but then it drove off. The cars in front of him all went much faster, but Dan was proud he got the car working in the first place, and all with just pressing one button. Flying a spaceship would be impossible in comparison to this.
âYou gotta make the turns, Dan!â Phil shouted, and Dan moved his controller in the air frantically, but his car kept bumping into things and it didnât make any progress at all, he started pressing really hard on the button, maybe it didnât work well enough.
Phil looked at him and laughed. He stopped his car and dropped his controller on the couch. âIâll show you.â He said, now much quieter than before. His cheeks went slightly red as he shifted on the couch, and moved so that Dan was sitting in between his legs and Phil was pressed against Danâs back. He could feel Philâs heartbeat through their shirts, and he blushed hard too. Luckily Phil didnât see that.
Philâs arms hooked around his stomach and he grabbed Danâs hands, which were holding the controller. Danâs heart was beating erratically by now, and then Phil pressed the button again and the game on the screen came to life.
Phil moved his arms in the right directions, moving Danâs hands with him. The car sped up and while Philâs car was stood still on the tracks, Danâs car swiftly moved through the other cars and the obstacles.
Dan watched with big eyes, but his attention was only half devoted to Mario Kart, because Philâs hands felt so warm and comfortable on his that he couldnât help but focus on that too.
Phil moved behind him, and suddenly there was a slight pressure on his shoulder. âYouâre doing so wellâŠâ Phil whispered, so close to his ear that Dan jumped slightly. His voice was so close, and this was all so unfamiliar to Dan. It was so romantic in a way, even while they werenât even together like that.
It was just, Dan had never experienced anything like this. With Rei, it were quick kisses behind the school, and nothing more. Not that Dan didnât like Rei, far from that, but with him he didnât feel the sort of tension he felt with Phil.
With Phil, it was shaking hands and reddening cheeks. Skipping heartbeats and butterflies in your stomach. Phil was lip biting, and hushed conversations in the dark. Dan felt so lost when with Phil, having no idea how to act around him, but it all came so natural it felt like it was meant to be.
When Phil moved closer to him, or accidentally touched his hand for no particular reason, Danâs mind went overdrive and caused him to lose track on what was happening, every time. Again and again, he would blush and stutter because of his shaking hands, and he pretended like nothing was happening, but he was sure Phil had noticed.
Because he had also noticed Phil blushed when he accidentally touched Danâs hand, or told him he was beautiful out of the blue. And after hours of lying awake in bed, over analysing every single detail, Dan had started wondering if maybe, just maybe Phil felt the same way.
That Phil liked him as more than a friend too.
Danâs fingers started sweating slightly as he heard Phil whisper so close to his ear, and his swallowed hard. He couldn't sign anything back because Phil was holding his fingers, but if he could he wouldnât know what to say anyway.
When Danâs car crossed the finish line at last, Phil nuzzled the back of Danâs head with his nose and then let go of him, moving back and taking place next to Dan again. He picked up his controller and selected the next race.
âAre you going to win from me again?â He asked, a playful tone in his voice, and Dan nodded.
This time, it went a lot better. Dan didnât bump into everything, and he actually managed to control his car a little bit. Without Phil behind his back, pressing into him and whispering things into his ear, he could focus on the game a lot better. He still took his turns too slow and fell off the tracks more than he didnât, but he still became 12th eventually.
Frowning, Dan dropped his controller and looked at Phil. âI donât want to play this game anymore.â He angrily signed at Phil, hating the way he couldn't just talk like him at times like these. With signing, it was almost impossible to express anger in your sentences, apart from frowning really hard.
âOne more time?â
âNO.â
âFor good luck?â Phil tried again, and Dan was starting to think he actually enjoyed seeing Dan so frustrated.
Figuring out something else, Dan picked up his controller again and hit Phil on the head with it.
âOkay, okayâŠâ Phil laughed, rubbing the spot where Dan had hit him. He hadnât hit hard, but it still made a good statement.
âLetâs do something else than.â Phil said, and Dan nodded eagerly.
--
An hour later, they were stood in the kitchen covered in flour. There was cake batter all over the counter and Dan had spilled his drink.
Philâs laugh was echoing through the kitchen and Dan almost toppled over from laughing. Gasping noises left his throat and he had never laughed harder before. A streak of red food colouring was smeared over his cheek, and Phil had cocoa powder in his hair.
âCome onâŠâ Phil said in between his laughing, âwe need to beat in the food colouring.â
Halfway down the road of making their red velvet cakes, things went wrong and they accidentally poured half the bag of flour into the bowl instead of the small, desired amount because Phil wanted to pour it out of the bag itself. He was good at measuring he said.
Instead, the bag teared up and everything inside dropped into the bowl and also everywhere around it. It was in their clothes, on the counter, on the floor and everything in between.
After Phil had dusted off the floor and vacuumed it, they tried again, and with Danâs good measurements it finally worked. However, after the incident they werenât able to stop laughing.
Gasps and screams of laughter filled the apartment, and the actual red velvet cake would probably be done in about five hours if they went on like that.
Biting his lip, Dan slowly poured the red into the bowl, and Phil started to blend everything together. After a while, and with a lot of concentration and taking turns blending, the mixture was an even red.
Dan smiled proudly, and lifted his hand up to say something, but Phil high fived him all of a sudden and their hands bumped into each other. Any other day, this would leave a blush on their face and an awkward silence, but now they both just started shaking form laughter again.
âDont⊠drop the bowl!â Phil breathed out, and Dan wrapped both his hands around it to prevent it from falling.
After their laughs had died down a little, Phil glanced in the cookbook, and read the next sentence on the list.
âPour the batter into the cake tray, andâŠâ Phil paused, his smile dropping, âput it into the pre-heated oven.â
They both looked at the oven, and then at each other.
âWe didnât pre-heat the oven,â Dan signed, after setting the bowl on the counter, and Phil shook his head. He was already biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing, but when they looked each other in the eye again they both couldnât help ourselves.
âWeâre terrible cooks! Terrible!â He laughed, and quickly turned on the oven so it would heat up.
Now there was nothing to do but wait. And when they were done laughing they looked at each other, covered in flour and God knows what else, and sat down on the floor.
They both leaned their backs against the oven, feeling the slight heat through the glass door, and Dan rested his head on Philâs shoulder.
âI really hope, when this is done, the cake tastes good,â Phil said, and Dan nodded.
It went quiet, the only sound coming from the oven behind them, and they enjoyed the silence for a while, letting their laughs die down. They sat like that for a few minutes, and Dan starts to feel Philâs constant gaze on him.
He looked around, and found Phil studying his face like it was an artwork. There was a rosy tone on his face and he shyly looked away from Phil again, deciding to focus on the floor.
It was strange, how quickly the atmosphere could change from weightless to tense again. It was like something was bound to happen and they were both expecting it, but not knowing what it was that was bound to happen.
âYou⊠you have somethingâŠâ Phil began, and Danâs head turned to him again. Phil lifted his arm towards Danâs face, and Dan frowned a little. âon your cheek.â
Philâs finger pressed against his cheek and Dan could feel his heart speeding up. Softly, Phil wiped away a little drop of cake batter from Danâs face. It was just cake batter, and Dan felt stupid for thinking like this, but it felt like a whole lot more.
âIâm sorryâŠâ Phil whispered, retracting his hand and wiping the batter on his in flour covered jeans. âI shouldnât have don-â
Dan shook his head, cutting him off and he didnât know why he did that, and he also didnât have anything else to say so when Phil started looking at him, waiting for him to say something, he just stares blankly at the wall and let his face heat up until he was blushing hard.
Hesitatingly, Phil reached up one hand to stroke Danâs cheek again, and he was one hundred percent sure there wasnât anything on there, but he just let it happen and even leaned in a little.
Phil also leaned in, a little more than expected. And the hand that was resting on his cheek moved to his hair, and slowly tangled in the brown strands.
Everything was happening so fast but so slow at the same time, and the world around them didnât exist anymore. There was only Phil. Only the boy Dan had fallen in love with so long ago, when he was young and still so much of a naive teenager. But his alien boy who was so far away was the only one who had stuck with him through all his years on Musca, until he traveled further than thought possible, to visit him. The boy that saved his life had his hand tangled in Danâs hair and before he even knew it, Philâs lips were on his.
Philâs lips were soft and the hand in his hair started tugging a little bit, but Dan was frozen in place, making him unable to kiss back like he wanted to do so badly.
Then suddenly, the feeling of Philâs lips on his own was gone, and he realised Phil had moved back.
Opening his eyes in shock, Dan could barely stop himself from falling over, but luckily managed to edge backwards just in time. He looked at Phil with big eyes, wondering why he had stopped kissing him, when everything that had happened in those few seconds came falling down.
They had kissed. It had been just a kiss, but God Damn, it was a kiss.
Dan couldnât process the things that were happening all of a sudden, because thoughts swirled through his head like a tornado and he became dizzy, having to close his eyes in order to calm down.
He didnât realise Phil was talking until he opened his eyes again.
â...shouldnât have done that. Iâm so sorry I keep doing things-â
The thoughts in Danâs head hadnât settled, and he was still panicking a little, but when he heard Phil talk like this, he wouldnât let everything that he ever wished for escape him just like that.
In a moment of braveness, he raised his hands up to Philâs face, tightly wrapped them around his neck and pulled him forward. Their lips collided roughly, Dan almost angrily moving them against Philâs, and when Phil kissed back just as hard, Dan felt a warmth in his stomach.
 There was open mouthed kissing, and a lot of tongue so rough it probably looked far from beautiful, but neither gave a damn. They were stuck in their own world, bodies curling around one another and the spaces in between got smaller and smaller until their chests were flushed together, Philâs fingers woven into Danâs curling strands of hair and Danâ s arms wrapped around Philâs back.
They were running out of air, and they absolutely didnât want to stop kissing, but they simply had to. Panting, they looked at one another once again, and both noticing the grin on the otherâs face, they started laughing.
âShouldâve done that a long time agoâŠâ Phil said in between his laughs, and Dan can only connect their lips again for another kiss. Â
--
âLook, thatâs Musca, over there!â Dan pointed, and Phil followed his finger. The red haze around the remarkably big star was strong tonight, and Dan smiled.
âDo you miss it?â Phil asked, running the tips of his fingers over Danâs cheek while he looked at him.
âSometimes.â Dan signed. He lowered his gaze as he thought of his family, of his friends. Rei, who had probably long moved on and found a lovely partner. âBut I have you now.â Dan looked at Phil again, and shuffled closer so he could press a kiss to his lips.
