sweet shoosh

17

[luxlisbonbby]

5am

[rahabq]

[glorianas]

CAILEE SPAENY as PRISCILLA PRESLEY

PRISCILLA (2023)

[mintflavoredart]

Refaat Alereer: If I die, let it be a tale

[outtamyhead444]

You just need to remind yourself that there were days where the thought of waking up plagued you. Look at how far you’ve come.

[lipsticklesbia]

i will never stop thinking about this poem my greek professor showed us

[outtamyhead444]

“Monelich, I feel so used”

WHO IS MONELICH?? WHAT IS A MONELICH? SUFJAN WHO ARE WE TALKINF TO

[outtamyhead444]

[outtamyhead444]

i can move mountains with the words i wish to say from the accumulated sorrows of my past. it is rational for me to be scared but on this lonesome, moon lit night, i feel nothing but terror over the futuristic celestial bodied sky. i know, i have overcome this entropy before, i know i will overcome this entropy again and, i know i will be in this entropy in the future. the cycle will repeat itself because that is me. that is me and my foolishly large and foolishly constant brain. i know that death was fed to me off a rusted knife that bore the taste of iron and copper. i know that after that lick, my tongue was sliced and a scar stuck out. i know that from the on, this fear of mine had risen and has overcome my frail self. i cannot go back and hope for him to not pass. i cannot go back and hope for myself to heal differently. i cannot go back. and so i whisk away through winds of torture against my own self. i know this will cause my chest to feel broken, the weight of millions stepping upon it and yet i do it; i think about it and suddenly my world is far, far away. my life is no different than a grain of sand in comparison to my thoughts, so who am i to not feel the ever crushing urge to cry? if i am what i feel, who am i to not feel an ounce afraid of myself as well?

[outtamyhead444]

over

and i try to talk to you

in my sleep and in my dreams

and when i wake up after years

it’s like you’re here again

(god i wish you were here again)

i’m not blaming you for anything

but it hurts, the not knowing

at all about who he truly was

Maybe Buckley was right saying

“I didn’t know him at all”

Because did i really know you?

the glue to my family the glue to my loved ones

i felt it know and i’ll feel it still

the pulling and the longing

for what once was and what once will

i’m not mad at you anymore

how could i be?

you’re far away now and i’ve had time to think

i’m growing older day by day

and i’m getting lovelier in every way

i’m doing well and i wish you could see

i’m graduating soon almost turning 18

my hair is growing and i’m losing your memories

i would fight for your presence but i’m afraid i’ll turn right wing

it’s too much i know it’s too much for me

but too much for her when she was 13

when i walk to your house i see your window

and through it sits a bed untouched

i stare at it and my gaze goes low

the weight of it all leaves me crushed

there lies a stuffed animal i fell asleep on one morning

when things were softer and brighter and there was none of this hopeless longing

i still say hi to you in my head when i arrive

unbeknownst to the fact you have died

[outtamyhead444]

this detrimental feeling that you are bad

will lead you to collapse through entropy

in reality it’s not your fault

and i doubt it’ll ever be

you’re too soft, too human

i can see it in your eyes

you’re too much, you’re spilling

lips trembling with lies

it’s not natural it’s not cynical

for you to behave this way

nonetheless, nonetheless

i’ll love you either way

[outtamyhead444]

in any case

your brother now knows

of how hard it was for me

to finally let you go

yes he was a friend who died

i was too young to understand

i was the survivor who cried

while you were buried beneath land

i consider it sometimes

and feel agonising guilt in me

because why would i die

instead of live my whole life free

[outtamyhead444]

yes fentanyl did take a few lives from my life alex g, how could you have ever known

[outtamyhead444]

i cannot connect with this who i love for they have not lost before; they do not suggest that life is so fleeting, something that you are never able to overcome or grasp with your hands, no matter how hard you hold onto it, it will always leave. they will always leave. they do not have that wondering thought in the back of their brains that asks the question: when will it be time for me to bury you? when will it be time that i see your ghostly pale face for the last time before you are beneath me?

they do not understand because they have not experienced it- and i wholeheartedly hope they never will.

[elissbabby]

[infinity-squared-comics]

A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.

A farmer walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.

The farmer responds. “can’t you see I’m hauling this load of hay? How selfish must you be, asking me to set aside my own burden to help you”.

The farmer leaves.

A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.

A noblewoman walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.

The noblewoman responds. “Help you? You seem to be managing well on your own. How lazy must you be, asking for me to help a burden you can very well carry”.

The noblewoman leaves.

A girl stands alone in a field. The weight of the world is placed on her shoulders.

A knight walks past. “please. help.” The girl says.

The knight responds. “Whoever would I help you? Every man is given a burden to carry. How weak must you be, asking your burden be relieved”.

The knight leaves.

A girl stands alone in a field. Tears flow down her face. Her back is breaking. Her arms are so weak. She hasn’t felt her legs in days. The weight of the world is still on her shoulders. She lets it go. She is crushed.

News of the girl’s death reaches the capital.

“What a shame” said the farmer. “if only I could have helped”.

“What a shame” said the noblewoman. “if only I could have helped”.

“What a shame” said the knight. “if only I could have helped”.

A great memorial is erected in the capital, honoring the girl who gave so much.

“So selfless” said the farmer.

“So driven” said the noblewoman.

“So strong” said the knight.

“If I had met the girl” says the farmer, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. It would be easy for me to stow it in my cart”.

“If I had met the girl” says the noblewoman, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. I carry so little, it’s the least I could do”.

“If I had met the girl” says the knight, “I would’ve taken the weight from her. I am strong and noble, I could surely carry such a burden more readily than she”.

The girl is still dead.

[outtamyhead444]

Did you know

Did you know

Your brother is a sweet soul now

He struggles but he’s getting there

He reminds me to eat

To take care of myself

I am happy he’s better

We were both on the same boat

When you decided to swim away