SHIT MY THEATRE SQUAD SAID.
“ you’re trying to seduce him, not break his neck. ” “ he’s not gay. ” “ be catty. be flirty. be the opposite of your bitter, angry self. ” “ that looks like a trash bag. why are you wearing a trash bag? ” “ can you zip this up for me? ” “ that looks like a dildo. put it down. ” “ is that your evil laugh? you sound like joker on helium. ” “ i need a robin thicke kind of fuckboy. ” “ that british accent offends me & i’m not even british. ” “ if you touch my butt one more time i swear…. ” “ of course the lights seem too dark you’re wearing fucking sunglasses. ” “ HOLY SHIT THIS IS HEAVY. ” “ peter pan didn’t have such nice thighs though. ” “ no, you can’t say that. kids will be around so keep it PG-13. ” “ can someone help be carry this? PLEASE. ” “ isn’t this the song americans use in all high school movies? ” “ you can all be the stars of tonight. i’ll be THE FUCKING MOON. ” “ those sandals are so ugly they make jesus cry. ” “ who’s phone is ringing? i said VIBRATE ON. ” “ i didn’t break it. it broke all on it’s own. ” “ i’m allergic to dust i can’t do this. ” “ i’m not being dramatic. I AM dramatic. ” “ maybe i’m gay? ” “ no fireworks. we’re not americans. ” “ i hope you’re not making out in there! ” “ cinderella wouldn’t say ‘FUCKING HEELS’. neither can you. ” “ did you rip the dress? DID YOU RIP THE DRESS? ” “ you can’t say ‘i love you’ so violently. ” “ who carved a dick into the table? can the dick carver raise his hand? ” “ put your shirt on, you’re not chris evans. ” “ FOCUS AND STOP SINGING HAMILTON DAMNNIT. ” “ he’s her dad, not her daddy. ” “ you can’t say ‘bro’ to a king. ”
