Incorrect Shadowhunters Quotes

[idontapprovethismission]

alec: hey can you help me with this zipper?

magnus: sure

alec:

alec: up, magnus

magnus: right! sorry

[overheardinidris]

Magnus: you think I’m worried about the train?

Alec, activity bleeding out from a stab wound: ……what else would you be worried about?

[lurafita]

Alec to others: "You have used all the words allocated to you for this week. Now shut up."

Alec to Magnus: *heart eyes while Magnus has been going on for one and a half hours about some paper about magical theorem that some other warlock published recently*

[overheardinidris]

Alec: Do you want me to pretend I can't see you sneaking out right now?

Izzy: if you could, yeah. That'd make this a lot less embarrassing for both of us

[overheardinidris]

Alec: sorry i had to let you go

Magnus: *scowls*

Alec: it’s just, we’ve been cuddling for 12 hours. I need to pee.

Magnus: *scowls harder*

[overheardinidris]

Ragnor: what do they want

Magnus: they want to kill me

Catarina: well you don't have to look so happy about it

[overheardinidris]

Magnus: you deserve an award for putting up with me

Alec: it’s called marriage, sweetheart

[overheardinidris]

Magnus: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

[overheardinidris]

Izzy: We're losing, we need a plan.

Jace: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually agree with that.

Clary: Okay, does anyone have a plan?

Alec: I have a plan.

Izzy: It can’t involve self-sacrifice.

Alec:

Izzy:

Jace:

Clary:

Alec: I no longer have a plan.

Izzy: That’s what we thought.

[overheardinidris]

Magnus: Running out of coping mechanisms. Might have to start believing in god.

[overheardinidris]

Alec: How Jace got so buff? Oh that was easy, actually.

Alec: Every time he did something reckless I forced him to do one push up

[overheardinidris]

Alec: How can you tell if someone is flirting with you?

Magnus: They touch you a lot while talking.

Alec: That never happens.

Magnus: *brushes his arm* I’m sure it does!

Alec: I can’t think of a single time that’s ever happened.

[overheardinidris]

Clary: It wasn’t me!

Jace: Or me!

Simon: Not me either!

Izzy: I tried to stop them!

Alec: I literally saw you do it and all of you were giggling

[overheardinidris]

Alec, slightly delusional from blood loss: You have… beautiful eyes..

Magnus, flustered: He's lost his mind!

[overheardinidris]

Alec: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Clary: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

[overheardinidris]

Alec: Where’s Max?

Izzy: Around.

Alec: Around?

Alec: You don’t have any idea, do you?

Max, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

[overheardinidris]

Maia: Do you cook?

Izzy: I made a cake once.

Alec: Yeah, it was good.

Izzy: Really?

Alec: Don’t make me lie twice, Izzy.