overwatch was shut down for a reason

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[overwatch-chat]

*Junker Town accidentally exploded*

Junkrat: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Junker Queen: Wasn't Mako with ‘ya?

Roadhog: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

[overwatch-chat]

Reinhardt: BRIGITTE! MY FACE IS ON FIRE!

Brigitte, panicking: Oh no, Reinhardt! Are you okay?!

Reinhardt: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Brigitte: But your face is on fire.

Reinhardt: Yes. It's much faster than trimming my beard.

[overwatch-chat]

Sombra: Hey, big guy… Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Sigma: You texted me to satanize the headquarters before you returned.

Sombra:

Sombra: I wrote sanitize, doc.

[overwatch-chat]

Angela: Is something burning?

Fareeha: Just my love for you.

Angela: Fareeha, the toaster is on fire.

[overwatch-chat]

Talon Commander: What's the hardest thing for you to say?

Reaper: I need help.

Moira: I was wrong.

Sombra: Worcestershire sauce.

[overwatch-chat]

[Texts between Lena and Hana]

Lena: I'm learning uksbsjle!

Hana: Same.

Lena: ukeaolei

Hana: Take your time.

Lena: ukraine

Lena: ukaleile

Lena: ikea

Lena: Mini guitar

Hana: There you go.

[overwatch-chat]

Moira: And what do you tell me when you feel like this?

Widowmaker: My illness is chronic but my ass is iconic.

Moira: No.

[overwatch-chat]

Soldier 76: Sorry I ghosted you I wanted to die.

Ana: Not sorry I ghosted you I technically died.

[overwatch-chat]

[Truth or Dare]

Lena: I dare Fareeha to prank call her mum!

Fareeha: Really? She's right there but whatever.

Fareeha, taking out her phone: Siri call mum.

Siri: Calling-- "Mommy"

Fareeha: Wait no-

Angela, walking into the room with her phone ringing: Ugh, can anyone pick it up for me please? My hands are full.

Ana, picking up Angela's phone: Yes daughter...?

Lena: Yikes.

[overwatch-chat]

Moira, watching Overwatch feeding: Have you no control over these idiots?

Mercy, sipping tea: None, whatsoever.

[overwatch-chat]

Lena: How can anyone say Mei is evil? She's so precious, she must be protected.

Mei: [laughs adorably after freezing and killing an enemy]

[overwatch-chat]

Fareeha: You know, I'm jealous of you.

Angela: Huh? Why?

Fareeha: Your partner is hotter than mine.

Angela: ?? Wait but we're dating??

Fareeha: [walks away]

Angela, realizing everything: COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT.

[overwatch-chat]

Brigitte, shouting: Haanaaaa! When are you coming out of the closet?

Lena, spit takes: Pardon?

Emily: Someone's girlfriend is impatient.

Hana, literally coming out of a closet: LISTEN. WE ARE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK.

[overwatch-chat]

Brigitte: Hana! I found a bunch of video games in my papa's closet.

Hana: Really? What's it called?

Brigitte: Hmm it's Silky's Plus and Sabbat of the Witch?

Hana:

Sombra: And here we see a meka pilot burning eroges that came from the mechanic's closet.

[overwatch-chat]

Ashe: Is that a costume? Or are you just-

Widowmaker: Your type? Yes I'm your type.

Ashe:

[overwatch-chat]

Brigitte: Uh, Angela? Why's the lotion so sticky...?

Angela: Oh my gOD NO BRIGITTE THAT is NOT lotion.

Sombra: And here we see a doctor desperately trying to clean a mechanic's hand that is now doused with lube.

[overwatch-chat]

Hana: Name one time I haven’t acted professional.

Yuna: You’re holding a juice box right now.

Hana: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice!