[sixpenceee]

Adding varnish to painting makes it come to life. This is so satisfying to watch. (Source)

[bbsanderson]

Paint this on my entire life

[outcast-freaks-deactivated20200]

This is very satisfying to watch

[ironwoman359]

so satisfying 

[orphic-moss]

I watched this like 5 times, it’s really satisfying

[punlich]

One time I used my retail voice on a coworker and she was like, “Don’t use your customer voice on me, I know you’re dead inside like the rest of us, it’s just frightening and weird”

[1980sbusinesswoman]

The other day I asked for a table for two in my customer voice and the waitress squinted at me and I cleared my throat and said “Sorry, still in service mode” and she dropped hers and we swapped stories about our day and my boyfriend was like “You two just became two entirely different people in like .5 seconds…”

[gritsinmisery]

I can be bitching up a blue streak about a customer-from-hell while the store is empty, and when the phone rings swap over to my retail voice practically in mid-sentence. I even have managers and salespeople from other stores in the chain fooled into thinking I’m infinitely friendly and helpful, and my manager’s husband thinks I’m one of the most professional people in the store. One assistant manager’s daughter dubbed me Perky-Pants because she mostly dealt with me over the phone, and was shocked to the core when I dropped an F-bomb at her graduation picnic.

[thesmilingfish]

The acting required in the service industry is beyond the pale. My cousin freaked out when she came to see me at work because I was all smiling and nice while helping someone who was asking inane questions and who basically forced me to walk them to the product and put it in their fucking hand but I was nice as pie until I turned around to walk away and my demeanor changed back to normal and I muttered “what a fucking moron” under my breath as I got back to my cousin. She just looked at me shocked and said “no wonder you’re so exhausted when you get home.” 

[eat-my-dragon-deactivated201611]

this is actually referred to as emotional labor in criminology, and is considered one of the hardest forms of labor

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

The art of bullshit is strong in the service industry 

[destinyrush]

Who asked them anyway?

[screenshotsofdespair]

[straylightjay]

[drakebarmitzva]

sweet dreams are

who am i to

[solace-y]

just the girly things

forcing an earing through a closed piercing

taking off tight clothes and rubbing the indents they left on your skin 

human sacrifice

homemade face masks 

[xmijirux]

Luckily I was able to update Galaxy!Garnet for Ohayocon this past January! This cosplay is incredibly fun to wear, I’m very happy with how it’s come out and the response to it all :) Can’t wait to participate in another years of #28daysofblackcosplay

[scott-conant]

me: haha why do people always yell at the tv when they watch sports? you know the football players can’t hear you, right?

me watching chopped:

[memelovingbot]

you are weak and Smashmouth is coming for you

[kunikidazai]

and they don’t stop coming

[80feetdeep]

make sure u put ur hand behind her head when u slam her against a wall so she doesn’t get hurt

[ruinedchildhood]

[3liza]

a while back, ghostbong bought a very cheap, very used Roomba from craigslist.  "so, you’re going to ‘hack’ this, right?“ said the man at the parking lot rendezvous.  but we just wanted a vacuum.  since then, the addition of the word “robot” to our casual, every-day lexicon is continually jarring, as if even living in the future will give you future-shock.

doing maintenance on the robot.  the robot is stuck on a cord.  the robot ate a sock.  the robot ran out of power before it got back to its charging station.  the robot knocked something over.  it doesn’t help that the Roomba programmers saw fit to outfit the little thing with a series of Artoo-like MIDI scales and honks, to convey the mood of its message: docking successfully produces a tiny fanfare, and getting its brushes jammed on a foreign object makes it cry out in sad distress. do i verbally reassure the robot when i pull a wad of cat hair and bread bag tabs out of its works and set it back down on the floor? you bet i do.

but the larger point is that it is now possible for me to say (or type) out loud and without irony, sarcasm, or any kind of fictitiousness: “the robot knocked over the kitten’s water dish >:I ”

the future is here, and it is me on my knees on the floor yanking hairballs out of a domestic droid while it softly boops at me

[knitmeapony]

Still one of my favorite posts of all time.

[tragiccottonball]

[serenity-is-my-tardis]

PROFESSOR JIGGLY NO

[gothicprep]

@sufari

[gifsboom]

[king-quarian-deactivated2016120]

People who drop you off at home and wait til you actually get inside the house to drive off are beautiful and deserve to live forever.

[sumflora]

someone: Ur skirt is short me: nice