In Love With Jim Halpert

She/her, future marine biologist I like the aristocats.

[dappermouth]

For weeks now, I’ve been hearing my neighbors from across the ravine hollering to their young daughter, Natalie. I’ve never seen these people, but the sound carries pretty clearly.

“Nat, get out from under the car, it’s time to go.” “Natalieee! Don’t go peepee in the road sweetie!“  “Oh my god, Josh–get Natalie! She’s running after a deer.”

I’ve been over here like “damn, this kid is wild…bold…fabulous…”

I finally went over to the other side of the ravine today, and in doing so I discovered that Natalie is, in fact, a beagle. I’m crushed.

[ugly]

Pre-nap me: gosh I'm just a lil bit sleepy I could use me a lil nappy nap

Post-nap me: why.... Why do I exist in this world.... How do I know what is real... What is the truth.... I'm so thirsty

[badgobboz]

He cant see beyond the cheese

[voicesbyzane]

What the FUCK is happening in these god damn games

[deceptipup]

young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care

[raccoonfootproductions]

One visual gag I’ll never get tired of is a character being framed by countless weapons pointed at their face.

[boxobuttons]

I declare this a “character being framed by countless weapons pointed at their face“ master post.

[chulacabra]

[morningelvis]

twitter PLEASE stop showing me mark hamill’s likes

[with-a-rare-device]

Nonbinary one-piece swimsuits inspired by unisex 1920s swimwear. Fashion AND function. Sizes XS - 5X. Fully funded on Kickstarter!

Beefcake Swimwear is finally available to buy outside of the kickstarter! I would like one in each style, please.

[glumshoe]

HOLY SHIT

[gayelectro]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[arorea]

I LOVE THIS???

[ryanbergara2]

🎶 mr. mothman, moth me a man 🎶

[ghosthaunts]

🎶 make him a cutie with a massive wingspan  🎶

[atissi]

museum gift shop: its that vase you saw

me:

museum gift shop: but really small

me: holy shit

[immentallydeficient-deactivated]

the CIA is one of the most evil organizations in human history

[dagwolf]

the colorado institute of art is not *that* bad.

[wizardhecker]

They’re talking about the Culinary Institute of America dumbass

[m--ood-deactivated20181217]

dont say nothin just reblog if she looks like who you know we all think she looks like

[prideofyunmeng]

IT’S SPAGHETTI TACOS GIRL

[paxamericana]

hillary clinton told a joke at the al smith dinner tonight. it’s a very simple joke. and these two CNN panelists have completely misunderstood it at every turn. it is making me so god damn angry.

[paxamericana]

the gist of the joke is “when i look at the statue of liberty, i see all the things that make our country great [blah blah blah.] when donald trump looks at the statue of liberty he sees a 4. maybe a 5 if she loses the torch and the tablet.”

and this fucking moron is saying that the joke is funny because the statue of liberty looks like the number 4.

which is not what that joke is saying at ALL.

[paxamericana]

her follow-up to this joke was:

“you know what i think a good number for a woman is? forty five”

(because if she’s elected, she will be the forty fifth president)

and this dipshit on CNN is chuckling like “yeah, i think forty five is a good age too”

[weresehlat]

When sexists don’t understand they’re the butt of the joke because they’ve never heard a joke at their expense imo

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

guy: *says females instead of women*

me:

[lesbiancousin]

painting a gay bar as a safe place for straight girls avoiding straight men is wild to me bc ideally it would be a safe place from the straights for gay ppl but we can’t have anything can we

[lesbiancousin]

i think people here are misunderstanding what im trying to say. this isn’t a fuck you to every straight girl who’s been to a gay bar. i myself wouldn’t blink at the idea of bringing some of my straight friends to a gay bar for a fun night out. what im criticizing is this new wave of articles and think pieces urging straight women to take refuge in places that are ultimately meant to be safe places for gay people from straight people themselves. if you want to write about a need for more women’s spaces and women’s bars where women can feel safer, im all for it. but don’t try to rewrite or infringe on what a lgbt space is meant for - a space for lgbt people themselves

[thegenderdetective]

You really hate women don’t you

[lesbiancousin]

you’re talking to a whole lesbian buddy

[urparty]

tiny brain: brooklyn nine nine isnt cop propaganda

average brain: brooklyn nine nine IS cop propaganda and that means u cant watch it

giant brain: brooklyn nine nine is absolutely cop propaganda and 1 episode about the treatment of black people by cops in no way fixes that, however i still watch and enjoy it because i am a mature person with critical thinking skills who understands that boycotting every problematic piece of media is a fruitless endeavor. especially because boycotting b99 specifically would mean sacrificing the many other great things it brings to tv, including its humor, its diversity, its strong & well-rounded female characters, its presentation of healthy friendships & relationships, its subversion of harmful stereotypes, and its constant social commentary on political issues such as transphobia, gun control, flaws in the prison system etc which other shows wouldnt DARE touch

[seashellronan]

galaxy brain: BOOOooooOOoooNE!!

[bombing]

some idiot (greasy fingers, low bandwidth internet): hey i love your “shitposts”

me (pristine fingernails, blistering fast wifi, great appreciation for smooth classical jazz): that is not what they are

[penicillium-pusher]

my counselor: how are you doing?

me: good, how are you?

my counselor: good, what brings you in today?

me: im doin real bad karen