Suburban Smartass

Owen. 25. Kinda cool. Kinda lame. Kinda just going with the flow for now.

[teathattast]

[stolentweets]

[rebel-in-tartan]

BYE

[dailytwitterposts]

[owenroarty]

A few whiskey drinks with a few good friends.

[owenroarty]

Finally got the ladies shined up this weekend 💦💦

[seee-what-you-dont-see]

if you’re not gonna sing pop punk with me in my car then i don’t think it’s gonna work out

[ruinedchildhood]

[samdashh-deactivated20210615]

all I want in life is financial stability, consistent kinky sex, and good food.

[tresbongout]

[astrangerreplay-deactivated2019]

[owenroarty]

Gloomy weather vibes

[16bithoe]

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

[kidkendoll-deactivated20240714]

The four you the next week

[in-hearts-affliction]

Neck Deep // Gold Steps

[biomic]

[pizza]

[owenroarty]

dunno if any of my followers on here on nerds like me.

but hey if you are, feel free to check out my new twitch! Twitch.tv/odigity

[ultrafacts]

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

[maggiemunkee]

I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.

[vitiateoriginator]

that is one sadistic bird 

[mentalhealthfemme]

I am slightly afraid now.

[syndonic-deactivated20160709]

I love birds?

[toshio-the-starman]

African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.

I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.

Parrots are awesome.

[whatswrongwithblue]

I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.

He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.

Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble. 

Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours. 

If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!” 

If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.

But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all. 

[buggery-approved]

Parrots are people.

[countess7-deactivated20210515]

@oneshortdamnfuse

[theofficialvincenzo]

African Greys are like the greatest animal on the planet

[outragedbird]

When I was a kid, we had a rescued african grey called Dodi, and once I was arguing with my mum about my bed time, and the parrot (who had some very foul mouthed previous owners) just shouted at me “for fuck sake go to bed!” also whenever we hoovered he’d call us “yoooou dusty cunts” best thing was he had a scottish accent