Time is money, money is power, power is pizza. @owllovealways - Tumblr Blog

*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

glitterhunny-blog

rachelsgreen

my exact reaction when people tell me they’ve never seen Friends.

scared to go back.

My depression is the worst when I'm in Auburn. It's a mixture of being busy, tired, not taking care of myself, not eating balanced meals, not being close to my boyfriend, not being close to home or my family, not being able to hug on my dogs every day, and just being so damn alone. I have great friends, but there's always going to be so much time that I spend on my own and that time is so covered in aloneness and sadness. My mind is quiet, yet uneasy. I feel nothing toward everything, but anxious about it all too. I'm scared to go back. This spring is when my depression hit me and I haven't felt the same since. I've seen a few therapists, but I just don't really trust any of them anymore. They've made me get to the point of not trusting them so it's hard to find a new therapist or a new person to write me a prescription for antidepressants. I've been unmedicated while I've been home this summer, because all my vices listed above serve as distractions for me. Working this summer, all the girls I interned with kept me from being alone and I always had girls to talk to throughout the day and people to go to lunch with to take breaks. I'm really thankful for the distracted peace I'm able to have while I'm home, but I'm really scared to go back. I'm scared to go back to being away from my family. So far away that they can't hug me or tell me how it's all gonna be alright. They can just calm me down over the phone and sometimes that's just not enough. Sometimes I can't even verbalize what's going on over the phone. Sometimes I don't even know something's wrong until someone points it out to me. The really bad thing I do that I hate is that I can be completely fine or act completely fine around other people so no one knows I'm miserable. I hate telling people about my problems and so it all just makes me feel sadder and more weighed down and more miserable. I don't really know what purpose any of this served, if not just a journal entry to reestablish my progress in my battle against mental illness. This bout of depression has lasted 6 months so far. The severity has gone up and down throughout. I have a hard time writing anymore because I have a hard time truly feeling and you have to be able to feel and connect with your emotions to write well. Depersonalization depression is not for the weary hearted, but I can't help but feel extremely weary.

#personal #mental illness #depression #anxiety #depersonalization #depersonalization depression #does anyone still use tumblr

forever90s

my depression may make me weak but I'm strong because I have it and continue to push through. this week has been so bad, so painfully bad. I just want to feel like myself again.

#personal #depression