me, my mouth full of tic-tacs: fuck off (sound of tic-tacs scattering on the floor)
The Stonewall Inn
Today's Document
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Jimmy Eat World
Show & Tell
EXPECTATIONS
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titsay
RMH
Fieri Frames

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TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

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Kiana Khansmith
Noah Kahan
KIROKAZE
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Origami Around

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@oyster4pearl
me, my mouth full of tic-tacs: fuck off (sound of tic-tacs scattering on the floor)
Rest in Peace Stan Lee
Thanks for all the great memories.
You did good kid.
Not to make this a vent blog but I rly wish I weren’t constantly worried about money!!!!
“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut
Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this
I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing
so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?
So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”
Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.
i learned that Twitty bird is male
Aoogah is Tweety’s girlfriend and traveling companion
follow @i-was-today-years-old-when for more!
earlier today i saw that big bang theory was nominated for most popular comedy show over brooklyn nine nine and in this essay i’ll discuss why we, as a species, need another plague
Congratulations to Danai Gurira for her People’s Choice Award Action Movie Star
wow the new jurassic world looks so good
This is intense Nelson & Murdock energy
i didnt know im a bad listener till i saw this
when you see a dog from across the street
friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food
me: can i have some
friend who lives hundreds of miles away: yes
Ariana Grande photographed by Mac Miller.
some of you have never had a customer service job and it shows
the internet should be funny animal pictures and thats it!
example