"Go do something else. Damn, just let me murder in peace!"
"I lost my clothes in a crypto bet last night."
"I was literally just wearing an entire Ravenclaw pajama set that I got for Christmas last year because apparently people think I'm way more into Harry Potter than I actually am."
"I'm too sexy for therapy. Therapists can't handle this much sex. My sexiness is too sexy for mental health."
"Our connection has just been really lost over the past years, and I just don't understand why my trust is just gone, and I don't feel like I can tell you the truth anymore."
"Oh, you want me to spend money? Hahaha. No thank you."
"I know the freaks come out at night, girl, and I don't want to be one of them."
"I just wanna make a house and be cute. The American dream!"
"Why just cry at home when you're not invited to the party when you can just force yourself in?"
"Who needs real life when you have delusion?"
"Someone that dresses like this for Halloween is the type of person that thinks drinking White Claws is a hobby."
"Weed? What? No, I'm sorry, I believe in Jesus."
"I feel like I look terrifying in the worst way possible."
"Don't gatekeep me right now. I'm just trying to have fun. Let me enjoy myself, okay?"
"There are things you can do on the internet to get things you need. Because it's the internet."
"I already forgot what song I was singing."
"Am I stalling because I'm scared? Maybe."
"Do it one more time. Do it again, please. One more time for the family, please? One more time for the kids? Can you do it for the kids? Do it for Obama?"
"I didn't even wanna go to prom with you in the first place. I was just asking because I was being nice."
"All you need in life is someone that knows how to work wires and then suddenly your cat will come back to you."
"Have you seen those Furby snake things? Who though that was okay?"
"I'm afraid of everybody who has ever invested in a Furby."
"It knows what it's going to eat for dinner tonight, and it's me."
"Who needs to spend millions of dollars recreating Squid Game when you could watch a guy with a couple thousand dollars in his bank account scream at a Furby instead?"
"I don't think I should be saying the word abort around children. Is that not allowed? Honestly, probably not in this political climate."
"My niece does not like me."
"I probably shouldn't be calling a baby a bitch."
"You sound like a drunk toddler who can sing."
"The world is dying and ya'll still going to the beach."
"Yes, I did take an edible and watch a bunch of performance art videos."
blakekathryn
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
