A matter of perspective
I have to discuss something that's been going on around Calanthe's character for a while. And that's how we get to see her from two different perspectives in episode 1 (Ciri's) and episode 4 (Geralt/Pavetta's). The loving, strict but decorous grandmother versus the brutal, ruthless queen. My point being it is not a matter of perspective.
The events of episode four happen 13 years before episode one. 13 years. 13 years of life, of loss, of learning. 13 years of change.
She is not kinder to destiny than she was 13 years back, but would anyone? When it was destiny who brought Pavetta and Duny together, and now her daughter is dead. Destiny, the queen calls it, but the one who she blames for it is Geralt, who saved Duny when no one else would. And who now has the audacity, a nearly complete stranger, to come and claim her granddaughter, the most important person in the queen's life. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't accede. She is proud and smart and ready to do whatever she deems necessary to protect her family, just like she was in Pavetta's betrothal feast.
But in all other respects, the queen has changed. She is no longer the totalitarian ruler she might have been thirteen years ago. One evidence for it is the disposition of the Hall:
There is no longer a towering throne, but she is even with the rest of the table, not only to her husband, but to her granddaughter and the druid too. She doesn't allow battle to be mentioned anywhere near Ciri, in contrast to the constant victorious entrances Pavetta might have been exposed to, for in the banquet she wasn't even slightly horrified nor surprised by the queen's display. Which means Calanthe no longer swaggered in covered in blood to the castle. And Ciri was not raised to hate elves or dwarves, as brilliantly pointed out in this meta post. She raises her to be merciful ("Good leaders should always choose mercy"). She wants Ciri to be an even better queen than she was. She knows she has been wrong, and does not want Ciri to make the same mistakes that she did.
What propelled the undeniable change in the queen's behaviour we will never be sure, but I'm certain it is strongly linked to Pavetta's death. When she sees herself with a baby in her arms that resembles her daughter so very much, something changes. "Ciri is all I have left of my daughter." And what she does is not raise another daughter, but raise her grandchild in the memory of her daughter. Teaches her respect, to be kind and just, like Pavetta would have wanted.
Calanthe's story is not black and is not white. Calanthe's story is a story of love and growth and change, with so much more depth than might be initially perceived. And the evidence for it is Ciri. And that is incredibly powerful. People can change.
