im a mess @p1zzag1rl - Tumblr Blog

i’m sorry for making your life more whimsical and serendipitous 🙄

Sometimes I think back on the time I spent working as a barista, and it seems SO STRANGE to me that “coffee shop AU” has become synonymous with narratives that are low on conflict, high on wholesome romance. During the year I spent working at a coffee shop:

A coworker of mine took a bunch of psychedelics, walked through some strangers’ plate-glass door, and threatened them with a bowie knife, leading to his arrest and imprisonment (and, needless to say, a late opening for the coffee shop that morning).

Another coworker, an ex-military type with a young wife and a new baby, decided to smoke up for the first time ever with two other mutual coworkers, in the back of one of their trucks; and ended up having a three-way with them which ended his marriage.

I had a nervous breakdown, stopped being able to eat food or hold conversations, and ended up sleeping on my coworker’s couch for three weeks before she finally called my parents to come collect me.

Multiple store managers were fired for embezzlement. (Reminder: this was within the space of a single year.)

Yet another coworker, who was seventeen at the time, started dog-sitting for a couple of regulars in their (I’m guessing) early 50s, and ended up in an ongoing creepy and incidentally illegal ~relationship~ with them both.

Various employees discovered, in the course of cleaning the bathrooms: couples fucking in the bathrooms; junkies passed out in the bathrooms; drunks puking in the bathrooms; both adults and children weeping in the bathrooms; a woman bleeding all over the bathroom from a gash in her throat (??); a dude standing in the middle of the bathroom floor and pissing in the opposite direction from the toilet, so that when the employee opened the unlocked door she got piss all over her (????).

The owner of the bridal shop across the street was exposed as both abusive toward her employees and also cooking the books, which led to my coffee shop taking on a couple of untrained and weirdly conservative bridal shop workers for a few months while the bridal shop was shuttered and sold to new owners. Later the larcenous former bridal shop owner came down with some horrible disease which caused her to lose both her hands.

There was a regular universally referred to as “Sketchy Steve,” who came in at 7am for a three-shot latte with room for Seagrams 7, and dealt drugs to all us baristas. I actually, at one point (I cannot believe I was this stupid), went inside Sketchy Steve’s house, and allowed him to spend like half an hour showing me his collection of découpaged outlet plates and also soliciting me for sex while I uncomfortably yet studiously declined.

Right before I started, the store manager had walked off the job in the middle of a shift, and ¾ of the employees had walked out after him. None of them ever returned.

Like, working on the front lines of food service was the most operatically sordid professional experience I have ever had, and one of the most surreal; and it is hilarious to me that THAT, of all jobs, is the one that has come to stand for soft-focus domestic romance in fandom circles.

wenamedthedogkylo

This is the Coffee Shop AU we deserve.

lesbiankatebush

they should remake breaking bad but instead of making and dealing meth it’s a suburban white mom who makes soap and the same levels of violence, gore, and drama remain

cacen

tinfoil-crown-deactivated201801

‘Rat Park’ -Stuart McMillen

You’ll never think about drug addiction the same way again after reading this comic.

elodieunderglass

What I found absolutely impressive and stunning about this comic is the way the artist explained the identification and elimination of the confounding factors in the Rat Park study. This is one of the hardest parts of experiments to explain to the public, and I think it was just brilliantly done.

jenroses

This is one of the most important pieces of research done in the last 50 years.

wrigglesandgiggles-deactivated2

Read this!

jerichocaine

A beautiful experiment and so simply explained for even the most naive layman to understand. I love it.

teenscoolest

pr1nceshawn

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

hiddlesherethereeverywhere

THIS IS IMPORTANT

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.

titenoute

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

hxasinthus

“the average person speaks 100,000 words per day” factoid incorrect. the average person speaks 7,000 words per day. hamlet, who literally never shuts up and speaks 1,000,000,000 words per day, is an outlier and should not be counted

myinnerlandscape

fuzzypetal

What if that was your house What if a sheep lives off the grass on your house

saltymommie

Shes my landlord

babybeanqueen

took a quiz to see what about me turns people on! let me know what you got

illuminat4d

“the minute you turn on the charm and start cracking jokes, you’ve got everyone in the palm of your hand.“

kind of sweet, definitely pride myself on my sense of humor 100%

cassioppeia-star

- Depression/ is one of the most common mental illnesses in the world, and it’s also one of the most easily missed. While most people would describe it as a prolonged period of sadness, it’s much more than that, and it’s definitely not one you can “snap out of” as many people erroneously think. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks. Depression can happen at any age, but often begins in adulthood. Depression is now recognized as occurring in children and adolescents, although it sometimes presents with more prominent irritability than low mood. Many chronic mood and anxiety disorders in adults begin as high levels of anxiety in children.

Here are 20 Unexpected Symptoms of Mental Illnesses You Probably Never Knew

- Meditation/ is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.

Meditation offers time for relaxation and heightened awareness in a stressful world where our senses are often dulled. Research suggests that meditation has the potential for more than just temporary stress relief.

Educators, spiritual leaders, and mental health experts have developed dozens of forms of meditation. The variety suggests there is a form of meditation to suit most people, regardless of personality or lifestyle.

Here are a Few Guides to Meditation

2helela2

“Depressed people are less likely to post picture of their faces,”

Even the picture of me isn’t showing my face… that much. Oh and the “black and white filters?”?

I mean… I was diagnosed with depression…

bisexualdemiqueen

I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but I did go to therapy when I was in high school. I feel like I might need it again, I work and I went to school but I just don’t want to be around people. I will continue my education online and I will keep working but I wish I had more energy. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and my engery levels are really low and I don’t have much time to be with my friends. I wish my mom understood better, she doesn’t and before I was officially diagnosed, she would tell me to stop whining. When I was in high school, she thought my depression was me being possessed and not actually depression even though she was depressed at some point in her life. When she realized before, sending me to therapy, she would tell me I had nothing to be depressed about. My depression isn’t being sad all the time, its about having no energy to do what I love and while half of that is also the fibromyalgia, I sometimes don’t feel like eating or sleeping. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I was in a mental institution or if I didn’t have to go to college and have a job which requires me to be around people. I love working with children but some days, I just don’t want to do anything. I used to write when I was deep in depression but now I don’t even want to write. I read fanfiction and I listen to music but sometimes I wish there was nothing I had to do, work, school, having a plan for the future. It’s too stressful.

er0ses-deactivated20191114

i feel weird cause all i post on my instagram are selfies but i think that may be cause i hate my body so much… i haven’t been diagnosed with depression but the intense periods of sadness and anxiety i experiment for even months on end can’t be normal…

kathysannoying

I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder almost a year ago in that time I’ve lost and gained more Weight than I ever have, self care is up and down and I deleted majority of my pictures of myself off my social media but I’ve been on anti depressants since my diagnosis and it definitely helps and when I’m more financially stable I’ll be going to therapy consistently but symptoms still linger it’s a very odd feeling you never just snap out of it and it’s not always sadness it kinda feels like your in limbo all the time it’s like that episode of spongebob when squidward finally moved away. I’m doing a lot better now and things like meds and meditating directly influenced that

cheerful-blu

If u please read and reblog this. U never know. Maybe it will help someone so please consider reading things before just scrolling by it like its a meme u already saw

420lablazeit

i was diagnosed with clinical depression almost five years ago and as much as it seems like it sometimes goes away, it still comes back just as fucking hard. i get stuck in my head listening to the imaginary voice telling me i’m worthless and don’t have the energy to get out of bed and not scroll through my phone constantly. i hate that i get defensive and angry so quickly and can’t express myself the ways i want to because i’m too insecure and self conscious. my mom said it was fake, that my sister and i are just feeling these feelings for attention. this shit sucks man.

butch-of-the-blades

This is so accurate it’s scary

2helela2

Once again i have to reblog.

And also I have to say - You are getting stronger everyday. I believe in you.

littlepartofthechaos

Person reading this

You are not alone and you can do it!

kathysannoying

Seeing myself pop up in this thread telling my story and people rebloging it adding their stories and comments is so nice. I hope it helps anyone who reads it to not feel alone, and see it as a sign to keep going. I love y’all don’t ever forget even at your lowest point I love y’all.

beautifultoafault

Always reblog

twerklina

marisatomay

if you never read “the yellow wallpaper” in 10th grade american lit now is not NOT the time to read it

hundondestiny

im-god-now-fight-me-deactivated

things i always keep in my backpack:

the bible (king james edition)

a copy of the U.S. consitution

a copy of my school’s current rulebook

i do this so that whenever someone at school tries to make a point and then defends it by saying ‘it’s in the constitution!’ or ‘it’s from the bible!’ or something else along those lines, i can pull out my own copy and say, ‘where exactly does it say that?’

also it’s just great to confuse people by pulling a fucking book of school rules out of nowhere in order to discuss what qualifies as a dresscode violation.

im-god-now-fight-me-deactivated

today during lunch a kid and i were debating the gender of god and he said “god’s a man in the bible” and i said “i’m pretty sure god is technically nonbinary or genderfluid, but let me check that” and i unzipped my backpack and the boy said “what’s she doing?” and my friend replied “she’s getting her bible” and i’m not sure how he felt when i set it down on the lunch table and flipped open to genesis but i definitely felt amazing.