okay but im really in the mood for “we’re both shitty people” plots like consider
you’re my sibling’s new spouse but damn when you kiss me it feels like i’m on fire
hi when i saw you at that bachelor/bachelorettes party i didn’t realize it was thrown for you or maybe i did and we slept together and oh shit you’re getting married in literally two days
my twin is dating you and i might have tricked you into thinking she was me just to get some but now i find out that you knew the whole time
why is this couple vigorously making out in front of us — oh shit did you just throw popcorn at them? and now i’m laughing so i look like the asshole that did it
you were the person my ex cheated on me with so i dumped a drink on you but turns out you didn’t know about me either and i came to apologize
walked in on my roommate and you screwing except i know you from class and i freaked out a little
i was hustling you in pool for money but you were hustling me for free drinks so who’s the real winner here?
i was swerving on the road but i’m not drunk it’s because i thought i saw a squirrel and you’re the cop that pulled me over except damn you’re hot, and you’re making eyes at me too
someone give me one or all of these, we good? we good.