I haven’t posted here in ages, feels like years to be honest, but I just felt the need to vent a little. I started a master’s program in counseling psychology and it’s been going pretty well, but I have this assignment coming up where we had to record mock sessions and I feel like mine are shit. I went in feeling confident and like I did pretty well, but while watching them afterwards to transcribe them, I fucked up so much. I feel like I’m going to get ripped to shreds by my prof and whoever gets to watch and critique my videos. I’m already beating myself up over it enough, reading a bunch of critiques is just gonna make things worse. I feel like I wasn’t adequately prepared for this mock session, like the prof didn’t go over it well enough and boy did it show when I watched those videos. I feel like I didn’t learn anything in that class other than the reflection technique. If anything, I guess I can talk to my prof if my feedback is shitty enough, but it still wont erase the fact that 3 other people are going to be looking at my videos. I know it’s only my second semester, but I feel like everyone else is doing better than me with regards to learning the techniques. We’re supposed to start internship in the fall and I honestly don’t know how that’s going to go. In my current practicum I’m doing behavior therapy, that’s all I know, I have no idea how I’ll do with individual clients and doing CBT and shit (which is what I wanted to do in the first place, but they don’t offer many choices for practicum). I hope things get better and I can be more confident in my skills in the future. All these theories and techniques are easier said than done. I know them on paper and if you ask me shit, but applying them is the trickier part and I don’t feel like I’m much real experience with that.
