A Thousand Splendid Suns Broke My Heart
I just finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.
And I think a part of my heart is still inside that book.
It begins with Mariam.
A girl born as a harami - a word she carried like a wound for the rest of her life.
Her mother Nana once tells her something that feels painfully true throughout the entire story:
“Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman.”
And from the very beginning, you realize Mariam will spend her life paying for things that were never her fault.
All she ever wanted was something small; to sit in her father Jalil’s cinema, to be acknowledged, to be loved.
But when she finally gathers the courage to visit his house and waits outside his door all night, he never opens it.
That moment alone shattered me.
Because later we learn that he was there the whole time. Watching from behind the door.
Years later, in his letter he writes:
“Regret… when it comes to you, Mariam jo, I have oceans of it.”
And I kept thinking about those letters he left at her doorstep. Letters she never read. Words she deserved to hear her entire life, arriving far too late.
Then comes Rasheed.
And Mariam’s life becomes a quiet prison of humiliation, miscarriages, and fear.
There is a moment in the book that completely broke me:
“One last time, Mariam did as she was told.”
Sometimes a single sentence can hold an entire lifetime of suffering.
Then the story introduces Laila.
And with her, another kind of tragedy.
War takes everything from her - her parents, her home, the life she once knew.
But Laila’s story also carries one of the most beautiful things in the book:
Her love for Tariq.
Their childhood friendship, the way they grew up side by side, the quiet loyalty between them.
Tariq, with his wooden leg and gentle heart, who always stood beside Laila.
Their love felt soft and real - the kind that survives distance, war, and time.
Even when Laila believes he is gone, even when life forces her into a marriage with Rasheed, that love never truly disappears.
And when Tariq finally returns years later, it feels like the world has finally given Laila something back.
But before that reunion, another beautiful relationship grows inside Rasheed’s house.
Mariam and Laila.
What begins with resentment slowly becomes something deeper - something like love, something like family.
Mariam, who had been denied love her entire life, becomes a mother to Laila.
Their bond becomes the quiet center of the story.
Two women protecting each other in a house filled with cruelty.
The whispered conversations. The small moments of laughter. Their desperate plans to escape.
Two broken lives holding each other together.
And then Mariam does the bravest thing she has ever done.
She saves Laila.
And in doing so, she finally chooses her own fate.
Mariam, who spent her entire life obeying, finally acts.
Her last words to Laila still echo in my mind:
“Tell Aziza that she is the noor of my eyes and the sultan of my heart.”
I don't think Mariam ever truly knew how deeply she was loved.
But Laila knew.
That’s why years later, when Laila travels to Herat to see Mariam’s childhood home, it feels like something sacred.
A quiet pilgrimage.
Because all that remains there are memories of a girl who deserved so much more.
And when Laila whispers “Goodbye, Mariam,”
it feels like we are saying goodbye too.
Mariam deserved laughter. She deserved kindness. She deserved a life where love came easily.
Instead, she became something else.
A quiet, unforgettable kind of hero.
And maybe that’s why this story hurts so much.
Because Mariam never asked for greatness.
She only ever asked to be loved.