if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

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@paintably
if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point
Source
Slavery…
"Slavery was so long ago. Get over it."
Slavery is literally happening now. Police never stopped being slave catchers. People are supporting it now just like they supported it then.
If you support ICE, you would have supported slavery, because ICE is slavery.
Fun how the bystander effect was coined to cover up how cops are bigoted cowards who let a queer person die and stockholm syndrome was coined to cover that the cops handled a hostage situation so badly the hostages trusted their captors more than the cops.
I need my weird alone time or I will explode
disabled people are often in permacrisis
there's never enough money each month. there's always an unexpected illness. new symptoms pop up or old symptoms flare up. meds have to be managed always and refilled constantly and any refill has the opportunity to go wrong. any regular care has the opportunity to go wrong. any mistake can send your health spiralling. it's always "i just need to get through this bad patch" but as soon as one ends another begins. another crisis begins in the middle of the last crisis. managing one thing leaves another thing to be neglected until that becomes a major issue and has to be managed asap and the cycle starts anew over and over and over
via prev
You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)
everyone stop reblogging this I hate to be reminded of my own good advice
people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.
Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼
A bunch of little guys are fighting in my brain and they're all winning help me
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i need all the help i can get for finals
Hey so
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
So you know.
This might be the real one, y’all.
I could use some luck
I mean as a side-note, I have in fact found overall that reassuring kids young enough to be scared of "illogical" things that either they or you, the adult tasked with their care, are totally capable of handling/beating up/dispersing the Scary Thing is vastly more effective than trying either to convince them that the scary thing doesn't exist, or to convince them that the scary thing isn't scary.
I nannied for a three year old who overnight became deeply scared of owls. We're not sure why. We're not sure she'd even ever seen a real owl. The "owls" that she described did not seem to be based on real birds. Her parents and grandmother, very diligent and reasonable people, spent a week trying to convince her that owls weren't scary and there were no owls in the house because that's not what owls did.
On the first round of "no but if I go to bed there will be owls" I calmly informed her that there were not and never would be any owls in this house because I was there and the owls were afraid of me. And not only were the owls afraid of me when I was there, but I also had the ability to make secret signs that the bad owls would see to let them know that I came to this house every day and if I found bad owls anywhere near here they were In Trouble. So she didn't need to worry about any owls.
She turned this over for a few minutes and then we went and she had nap time.
(She did come back a few days later to say but I meant magic owls, and I said I know, I was also talking about the magic owls, obviously as you have since learned from the Kratt brothers, real owls are just kind of silly birds that puke up mice pellets. She remained satisfied.)
Over the next little while she would occasionally reassert what I had told her about owls being scared of me, and at one point she also added the extra detail that while I could beat up the owls[subtext: magic monsters], she would beat up the bees[again subtext: magic monsters, not the real bees]. I agreed that this was likely so.
A year later she informed me that she had been very silly when she was "little" and scared of owls, but owls were just birds.
I've had similar experiences with other kids and other "irrational" fears and in the end I believe what it comes down to is that when you are Smol, the world is fuckin' scary, and what is really important and really valuable is knowing that when Something Scary Happens, the grownup who is your caregiver will deal with it. That they understand that it is scary - they're not ignoring the danger and thus making it more dangerous, they're not trying to convince you that the danger doesn't exist[1] and so putting you in this place where you don't know whether to trust your own intuitions, all the rest of those things. They're just confirming: if there are Bad Owls, that's still not a problem, because I know how to deal with Bad Owls.
Now obviously yes you also watch nature documentaries or go to the stand with the raptor education stuff with them or whatever else so that they get an idea of what real owls actually are; or in other cases you can ask curious questions about the rest of the fear of, I dunno, under the bed, and see if there's actually something that can be done about it (maybe there's a weird echo in their room that makes it sound like noise is coming from under the bed - you'd be amazed).
But to start with, you go: the monster under the bed isn't a problem, because I am much stronger than the monster under the bed, and I am better at magic, and I have dealt with it.
If you can add, apropos of the post, useful real world details like this one - "not only that did you know that a skeleton would be very weak, because it is just bones and doesn't have any muscles, so because I have muscles I can smash it to bits" - or whatever, that's even better!
This is also actually a very similar process to how CBT is supposed to work for actual reasonable fears that are nevertheless out of proportion or otherwise fucking you over and making you unable to function (because there is literally no bad situation that is not made worse by anxiety attacks, frozen cognition, brain-skips, memory fog, and other distortions of disordered anxiety): okay fine, even if thing is real, what is in your power to do about it, what steps can you actually take, and where do you go with them from here, even if they are small and not overwhelming/going to fix everything, because no matter what the problem is, being frozen in terror of it is always going to be the least useful or effective option. (Even if you do decide you're totally helpless then you might as well go do something fun, because your angst isn't helping either, you know?)
Just altered for Smol Child Brains, and the fact that the most important thing for a Smol Child Brain is to know that whatever happens, your grownup will deal with it.[2]
[1] like yes, the danger doesn't exist, but these are Small Children and the world is very big and complicated and it might exist and it feels emotionally logical for it to exist so even if it really doesn't, it still feels pretty gaslighty when the grownups tell you that it doesn't but you're still sitting there Feeling Afraid about it.
[2] "but what if it's not guaranteed that I deal with it": look, if you DO actually Lose against the universe, there is nothing the small child can do about it either. If you eventually collapse and fail the small child, yes, that will fuck them over. But it will not actually fuck them over worse, at this point in their brain development, to have believed in you without question up to that point and believed you could fight god in the town centre and win, before they find out you couldn't. Just a weird fact of child development.
some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it
Shakespeare is like this
Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away
Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal
hello 😔
doomed
I try not to fall into the "I never liked their work anyway" ditch when an artist/creator reveals themself to be a terrible person
BUT
a feeling I do have and will stand by is "While I enjoyed their work overall I did have some gripes that I overlooked out of affection and whimsy, but now that my loyalty is gone and my affection tainted there is nothing holding me back from enumerating my many grievances, to which the revelations of the creator's shittiness may or may not provide a new and infuriating context."
#such a good summation of this actually#because yeah there’s usually things that were always present#but which were easy to overlook or give the benefit of the doubt#that suddenly become relevant after a revelation about the creator#and it’s really not the same thing as the self-defensive “’I never liked it anyway’
tags via chimaerakitten
"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"
Well actually YES but also:
Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:
- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.
- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.
- I can only have two cookies.
- I can only have low-calorie cookies.
- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.
- I can't have cookies.
- I can't have cookies in the house.
- I'm bad when I eat cookies.
- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.
Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.
I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.
But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.
And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies