I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful
I CANNOT stress enough to the history blogs innocently reblogging this post that it is NOT about historical figure julius caesar, it IS about a shitty dumbass bastard cosplayer in a wildass video game
I think this might be the most beautiful meme I've ever seen. I just spent five minutes extolling all its virtues to my husband:
It doesn't even mention Julius Caesar or the Ides of March.
It's from a very different segment of the play
It's not even the famous part of that segment that everyone knows by heart
The "I'm just sayin'" attitude of all the Seinfeldians in the screenshot (although if memory serves, what they're actually saying is, "not that there's anything wrong with that")
It just comes at the whole situation in such an oblique fashion
I don't think I've ever seen an Ides of March meme do anything like this before
WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN! I DIDNāT EVEN HAVE ROOM FOR NOTT PUBLIC MELTDOWN OR PUMAT SOL OR DISASTER LESBIAN BEAU OR JESTER CRASHOUT OR FRUMPKIN OR THE GENTLEMAN WORKING FOR VESS OR THE AEOR DROP OR LEYLAS TYPHROSā
me and the lads were talking about Essek getting a familiar and @artofcarmen suggested a cat that comes out looking like a cat-sized moorbounder, which made me go "i'm drawing Essek with a tiny moorbounder kitten familiar now or so help me god"
listen, thanks to the various brainworms that convo had inspired (and thanks to @beckpoppinscosplay in particular) i now completely subscribe to a headcanon that moorbounder cubs make tiny crocodile peeps
I took it a bit more literally partially cause this is highly truncated and thrown together just for the hell of it, but I couldn't resist trying my hand at a lil smthsmth
@zmeess
[ Xet means "discord" in Undercommon ]
āI need your help.ā
Caleb blinks, hardly half a step out of his own teleportation spell and still fighting to right his center of gravity again. Essek stands a few paces away with his hands twisted together and a curious frown on his lips, brows creased together in obvious concern. Since the drow isnāt immediately primed with a spell or other such defense, he canāt be in danger which is in and of itself reassuring, but then that begs the questionā
āHelp with what?ā Caleb asks, shaking the residual magic off his fingers. āIs everything okay?ā
āOf course,ā Essek replies immediately before his frown deepens. āWell, Iām okay, but notā I just need your help.ā
Caleb blinks again and nods. āAlright.ā
Essek relaxes slightly when he doesnāt ask any further questions and gesture with his chin, indicating for Caleb to follow as he quickly pads away.
Trailing behind his fellow wizard, Caleb follows at a slower pace, watching Essekās stiff-backed posture as they cross the threshold into Essekās lab and move beyond it. Not something magical or scientific, then. It leaves few other options; maybe still magic related, but outside a controlled environment like his lab? Theyāve discussed a few such experiments in the past, though usually under the assumption theyād be together for such dealings.
Essek continues ahead, ears pinned to the sides of his head and betraying his obvious upset. Something severe enough to make him anxious, or at least visibly on edge. Caleb frowns, unwinding his scarf as they go and trying not to let his own worries get the best of him. Not many things get Essek so undone, especially to the point of him asking for help readily which only worsens Calebās own nerves.
They eventually stop within Essekās trance room, oddly enough. Plush, giant pillows and sprawling blankets line the floor, many shoved up against one corner where Essek typically tucks himself away to meditate. The room itself is rarely neat, but it seems in more disarray than usual as Calebās eyes wander across obviously thrown pillows and twisted quilts, the carpet under his shoes hidden entirely from sight. A few pale globules hover high above their heads, filling the space with more light than itās likely ever seen. Essek crosses the room to the open door of his closet, confusing Caleb further.
āSchatz,ā he says slowly, āIām not really sureāā
Essek turns sharply, gesturing for silence, and Calebās teeth click with the haste in which he shuts his mouth. The drow motions him forward and he approaches slowly, mindful where he sets his feet.
They enter the modest, albeit still open expanse of Essekās wardrobe where only a dim candle lights the space. Caleb squints against the darkness, resisting the instinctual urge to throw up his own orbs of light, and trusts Essekās guiding hand to lead him. Itās near the back corner they finally come to a full halt. He doesnāt immediately see the issue that ails his drow companion even in the low light, glancing around to find nothing but hanging clothes and finery.
When Essek speaks again, itās in a whisper and with a soft sort of urgency.
āI havenāt been able to coax her out, and Iām worried sheās stuck.ā
Caleb responds in the same quiet tone. āIām sorryāwho?ā
Tugging his hand, Essek guides Caleb down to his knees and points into the depths of the deepest shadows. Caleb leans down, peering past a few dangling robes and still seeing nothing; heās beginning to wonder if his lover might be suffering from some sort of illnessā
When he finds two bright, round eyes staring at him.
Caleb blinks. The eyes blink back.
āEssek,ā he says slowly, āwho is this?ā
āXet,ā Essek sighs. āI havenāt had the chance to tell you about her yet.ā
āAnd sheās what, exactly?ā
āA moorbounder.ā
He sits back on his heels, looking to Essek with no small amount of incredulity. The drow waves a dismissive hand while not taking his eyes off the creature watching them from the corner.
āSheās hardly a threat,ā he assures mildly.
āEssekāā
āSheās not!ā He scowls, finally meeting Calebās gaze. āDo you truly think Iād take a dangerous beast into my own home?ā
Caleb shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. āI stopped putting limits on the things you would do a long time ago, dear.ā
Essek pauses, seeming to absorb this statement before shrugging one shoulder.
āBe that as it may, we can discuss my decision-making later. You have more experience with cats than I do; what are your suggestions?ā
Caleb exhales a fond sigh, lips quirking up in a smile despite himself. He peers back into the shadows and finds those two eyes still in the same spot, unmoving save for the occasional slow blink.
āWell, do you know why sheās in there?ā
āShe likes how dark it is,ā Essek explains readily.
āAnd I assume youāve tried using food already?ā he asks.
āOf course, but she wasnāt interested.ā
Caleb hums in contemplation, rubbing his beard. āCats donāt like to be rushed, so it might be best to just let her come out on her own.ā
Essek looks back up at him with a frown. āBut what if sheās stuck?ā
āAre you in the habit of keeping traps in your own closet, Schatz?ā
āNo, of course notāā
āThen if she got herself in, sheāll be able to get herself out,ā Caleb soothes. āSheās going to need food or water, eventually.ā
Essek chews on his bottom lip, one fang catching against dry skin. āAre you sure?ā
He nods, reaching out to take Essekās hand. āFrumpkin used to do the same thing and in far worse places. If he can get himself out from a stack of hay bales, Iām certain she can find her way out of a closet.ā
Essek still seems uncertain, but letās Caleb help him back to his feet. Caleb reaches out to gently grasp his chin once theyāre standing, directing Essekās gaze to him.
āSheās a moorbounder,ā he reminds lightly. āI think she can handle the dangers of your wardrobe. And more importantly, you have a story to tell me about how you acquired said moorbounder.ā
Essek chuckles, the tension in his posture finally relaxing somewhat. āAh, I suppose I do, donāt I?ā
It takes a bit of coaxing, but Caleb manages to urge Essek out of the closet and get them situated midst the comforts of his trancing room. Essek glances to the dark entryway whenever he thinks Caleb isnāt looking, the anxiety of a newfound parent writ in every line of his face, but stays put per Calebās instructionāor rather insistence. Itās amusing to see someone so lauded as the Shadowhand be nervous over something as simple as a pet. At the same time, however, it brings a pleasant warmth to Calebās chest and twists up something tight within his sternum, nestled just behind his ribs.
He holds Essekās hand and strokes his thumb over the drowās knuckles while listening to him recite the mysterious story of Xet the moorbounder cub.
Apparently, Verin had come across an abandoned litter out in the Barbed Fields during one of his treks between Rosohna and Bazzoxan. Most of the cubs had been lost alreadyābetween fighting each other and the various beasts of the fields, it was a wonder any of them were still alive at all. Regardless, Verin and his companions had gathered the remaining kits to bring back to Bazzoxan with the intent of handing them off to a proper caretaker, hopefully to have them raised as future mounts.
Everything seemed taken care of until Verin returned to his rooms a few days later and found none other than the runt of the litter perched on his desk. Essek retells this portion of the story with an amused smirk on his face, taking obvious pleasure from Verinās described struggles to separate himself from the cub. He tried returning the kit to its siblings only to find it back in his room a day after; he attempted to pass it off on one of his fellow soldiers and nearly broke his ankle by tripping over it asleep on his doorstep; Verin even went to the lengths of trying to sell it to a traveling party of mercenaries, and he found it curled up within his saddlebags at the end of the day. For some inexplicable reason, the runt had taken a liking to Verin and seemed intent to stick with himāwhich wouldnāt have been a problem if it wasnāt under a year old. Still practically a babe, it needed care and attention a leading soldier of Bazzoxan couldnāt provide.
Thus, came in Essek.
Verin had sent a weary message to Essek via one of the mages posted under him, requesting his presence with little more than a plea for help. Essekānever one to turn his nose up at an excuse to escape the suffocating clutches of the courtāhad teleported that same day.
Whatever attracted the small cub to Verin apparently carried over to Essek, and she hadnāt been shy to make it known. Within ten minutes of his arrival, sheād darted out from her hiding place under Verinās bed and clawed up the back of Essekās mantle, uncaring of the holes she left behind once she found her perch on Essekās shoulders. The matter had been decided per Xetās preference, and now, Essek had himself a new companion.
āItās been about a week since,ā Essek says now. āSheās been acclimating well, for the most part. Feeding has beenā¦ interesting.ā
Caleb hums in sympathy. āPray tell, what do growing moorbounders eat?ā
Essek huffs, cheeks flushing. āWell, thatās been part of the problem. Theyāre supposed to eat any kind of meat, and Verin had told me it should be tender so their teeth can finish growing in. Xet is apparently very particular in her choices compared to other kits her age.ā
āIs she now?ā Caleb asks, fighting back a grin.
āHer siblings eat whatever gets placed in front of them, but the only thing sheāll take from me is fresh black-scaled trout.ā He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he continues, āAnd it canāt be the whole fish, oh no. If I donāt pick out the bones and grind it into a paste with extra newt-liver, she doesnāt touch it. I have to take out the fish eyes myself because apparently those are her favorite, andāā
Caleb bites his lip, struggling not to laugh and failing when he letās out an aborted snort. Essek stops mid-rant to shoot him a sharp lookāalbeit one somewhat ruined by the blush still on his cheeks.
āWhat?ā he demands.
āIām sorry,ā Caleb snickers, āitās justāshe sounds very much like a cat is all.ā
Essek sighs, accepting the placating kiss Caleb presses to his palm. āShe does, doesnāt she? But sheās also very sweet and itās nice having the company.ā
Caleb smiles against Essekās skin, taking care to kiss each finger and knuckle of the drowās hand. He knows better than most the benefits of having an animal companion when itās just yourself and your own thoughts. While it certainly can be frustrating beyond reason and a blight on the worst of days, it also brings a certain tender-hearted joy that few others experience; an understanding between beast and humanoid that weaves itself through history time and time again.
Weaving their fingers together, Caleb studies the gentle downward slope of Essekās brow, taking in the delicate curve of his mouth and the familiar flash of concern in his eyes. Heās looking back to the closet again, scanning the shadows carefully, and Caleb canāt help but admire the lingering, ripe-plum hue to his skin. It snags a familiar snare in Calebās belly, sparking with heat both unexpected, but not unwelcome.
Before he gets the chance to act upon it, Essekās ear twitches at the same time a squeaky, high-pitched chirp cuts through the quiet.
āOh, finally,ā Essek sighs in relief.
Peeking out from just beyond the doorframe, a single, bright yellow eye studies them from afar. Essek shifts to his knees and makes a soft crooning sound, holding out his arms. Caleb watches in fascination asābetween one blink and the nextāXet darts out from the closet to barrel directly into Essekās chest. Itās a chaotic scramble of lithe, black limbs and a tail that snaps like a whip before she finally settles, curled up in Essekās arms as if she was always meant to be there.
Calebās experience with moorbounders begins and ends with the adult variety. Heās never seen a young one, let alone a runt from a half-dead litter.
The difference isā¦ striking.
Xet is somehow both squat and lean at the same time, her skin bunching together in thick, leathery folds gathered around her shoulders and round belly. A scruff of pale, scraggly fur wraps around her neck like some unkempt mane and her ears make up half the size of her head, set wide apart with matching tufts of more white fur sticking out. Her eyes are a familiar, bulbous yellow like her adult counterparts, but her tusks are barely an inch, sticking up unevenly from her bottom lip. When Caleb meets her eyes, she chirps againāsounding almost like a strange reptileābefore sticking out her forked tongue at him.
Caleb stares at her, and then stares a little harder.
āThatās a baby moorbounder?ā Caleb asks, eyebrows raised.
Essek blinks at him and simply says, āWell, she is a purebred.ā
Also- I canāt find it right now, for some reason- but the āhappycat has run out of happyā was referencing not just the format of ā[thing]cat is [thing]ā but specifically another meme with an identical cat smiling (āhappycat is happyā). Possibly itās the same cat.
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