The Broken Poet

I just write things.

[paintmeinpoems]

Sleep comes hard to those who become vulnerable to violence in the late hours of the night. 

The dark, a distant reminder of the monsters that lurked through what should have been safe walls. 

-excert from a poem I wrote

[paintmeinpoems]

When I tell you that I know I am fuckable, and not loveable,

It’s because I know I can only be tolerated at night.

When my mouth is too tired to speak,

But not too tired to bring my name from your lips.

When my heart is too tired to fight,

But never too tired to see you.

When my hands are too tired to push you away,

And giving in is easier anyway.

When I tell you I know I am fuckable, and not loveable,

I am not saying it for sympathy.

I am saying it so that you won’t feel bad when you see it too.

-Just thought I'd give yall a full poem for once

[paintmeinpoems]

Your presence only made the bed grow colder at night,

Colder than your heart has become over the past few years.

- Excert from a poem I wrote

[paintmeinpoems]

Most nights,

I dream of a softer version of you,

Even if I know that is a version I would have never met.

- Excert from a poem I wrote

[paintmeinpoems]

when you said no strings you failed to mention that it was okay as long as you were the puppet master,

and I, your helpless doll.

pretty enough on the surface, but tug to hard and she may shatter.

that's why your hands have always been so gentle.

[twicedailyquotes]

“My brain hums with scraps of poetry and madness.”

—

Virginia Woolf

Selected Letters

[paintmeinpoems]

The heart whispers,

while the head screams.

Yet still,

you listen to the soft echoes,

guiding you to sure heartbreak.

[paintmeinpoems]

I wanted it to be you,

and me,

in the end.

My God, I wanted you to want me the way I needed you.

[paintmeinpoems]

Can you fill the void that you created?

Brush my soul softly with your fingertips and mend her broken spirit.

[paintmeinpoems]

In a world full of damsels,

Be a fucking Medusa.

[paintmeinpoems]

I learned early on that i am only lovable when I make sure i'm fuckable.

[paintmeinpoems]

I am so used to losing people that I am afraid.

If I let yo u think i'm friendly,

I may have to mourn you too.

[paintmeinpoems]

I didn't get the mom that held me close and asked why I did that to myself.

Not a soul to tell me that I was destroying my beautiful skin.

In reality the boy does not kiss your scars and tell you that he's here,

he ignores them.

[paintmeinpoems]

When I finally do it,

don't ask them why when I asked you to come talk many times.

When I finally do it,

don't ask them if I suffered when you watched me suffer for years.

When I finally do it,

don't tell then I lit up the room when I was far from the life of the party.

When I finally do it.

Don't tell them how much you missed me when you never wanted to see me while I was here.

When I finally do it don't pretend that I mattered, when we all know I was just another washed up, sad soul.

[paintmeinpoems]

I'm starting to think that I am the darkness.

That I have swallowed so much of everyone else's,

there is no light left for me.

[paintmeinpoems]

Sixteen.

Young, wild, and free.

Supposed to be the best time of your life,

So tell me,

Why do I feel like I have been fighting most of my life?

[paintmeinpoems]

Forget I was ever here,

but I will always be a fragment of you.