"actually, my life isn't over. i'll keep trying."

☆ ⛓️‍💥🚢 SALS ^_^ || 🪭🤖🧪 & 📱🌽 🔛🔝 || 17, they / bug || #1 paintbrusher!! kandi kid, yapper, ii enjoyer, ceo of lightbrushphobia (/hj /lh) || dms open to moots! || read pinned post ⬇️ ☆

[paintytherealest]

im paintbrushing it

anyways im phoenix (or painty if u prefer) im 17, non binary, big autism and some ptsd possibly other stuff too (i have a big attention span problem 💔) No dni list 👍👍 note that i dont rlly check dni's anymore and dont follow them too strictly, but feel free to block me anytime for your own comfort. Moots encouraged to call me gooby or bug/buggy as nicknames :)) or anything else you come up with!

i selfship with paintbrush ii! our ship name is brushcest cuz. i used to kin them and still see them as a big part of my identity. im like idc sharing... if you selfship with them and it makes me uncomfy ill just ignore/block! selfship stuff will be tagged as #brushcest ^_^

also. my main sona is called phoenixbrush theyre based off paintbrush obv. basically just them but with my personality and like wings and stuff

currently fixated on the dynamic between fan, bot and test tube. it is a """ship""" tecnically however it is very much gritty and angsty and toxic and i do NOT endorse anything i have them do in my works to be done irl 👍👍 just to be clear because i have gotten a couple questions about this. posts about them will be under the tag #electromechanics ii (ship name i coined) i highly encourage any fellow fans of this ship to use this name as well (fanbottube works but sounds a little clunky LOL)

ii is my special interest. i aim to get into animation and maybe post yt videos at some point... i may ramble here occasionally or just forget abt this for like a month again. Feel free to follow if u recognize me from another platform :)

TAKEN ANONS: five cats anon (🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈)

[ribbon-system]

"Is it plural to-" "Am I a system if-" yes. The answer is yes. You are plural. I don't care what you're talking about, that's plural. If you think you're plural, if you want to be plural, if it would be helpful to identify as plural, you're plural. It doesn't matter how clear or different your headmates are, if you switch or not, if you have amnesia or not. If you identify as one person with different modes and you want to describe yourself as plural, then you're plural. The only person who gets to say if you're plural or not is you, and you say that based on what's helpful to you.

[static-soc]

This. This is why I'm no longer anti-endo.

This is the same thing to me as "if you think/feel you are disabled you are allowed to call yourself disabled. If it would be helpful to you then you're disabled." Because holy hell are there a lot of people out here in pain and their ability is much less than someone who isn't disabled but they are white knuckling it through life when a cane would help them feel more stable, but if they use a cane they'd be considered disabled or "stealing from a disabled person" 🙄 (which give me a break, canes are mass produced). For a very long time invisible disabilities weren't considered "bad enough" to get the title "disabled." Those people were forced to still work (and to be so fucking clear, are still are forced to work they just get some accommodations).

I've had to convince many a people to use a damn cane or get compression socks, or to sit the fuck down when they need to and to stop pushing themselves so hard because they felt too ashamed and embarrassed (y'know, internalized ableism but that's another topic) to allow themselves the label "disabled."

It's important to not cut people down when they want to go by plural. Discovering you are plural is not a one and done thing. It takes time. The more we act like it's some sort of closed practice, the less people will be willing to question themselves out of fear of being wrong.

I don't see being plural as the same thing as a gender identity, but the process of figuring out what you are is similar, just much more intense.

The experience of both can be life changing for one person and a flower by a different name for others.

Either way, the pot needs time to simmer and it's okay to add different herbs to it or fully throw it all out and start a new batch if it doesn't fit your tastes anymore. It's also okay if at one point you thought you were a tomato soup kinda person but you figure out you're more a borscht person.

Both have tomato but are completely different and thats beautiful. Yet we'd never have borscht if we only ever allowed there to be single vegetable soups.

- Andy

[mysteriousgreensludge]

Writing utensil twins headcanon: they come from the object version of a conservative Christien family, their mum was one of those 1890s wooden pencil and their dad was a fountain pen. marker is their weird favourite cousin they only got to see on family reunions.

yes, they have mommy issues 👍

[paintytherealest]

this is REALLY COOL

[ask-crammaster-ham]

[basement-deer]

Oh mein gott its the original fucking post

[marz-galacticrocks]

it feels like im looking at the mona lisa

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[123gocat]

THEY TOOK HIM!!!! SPERMATOZOEY ACCOUNT IS DEACTIVITED HELPP NO

[paintytherealest]

WTF NOOOOOOOO IM SO SAD UGH I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR HIS ACC BC I WANTED TO SEE IF HE POSTED ANYTHING NEW wahhhh :((((((((((( i rlly hope he can come back soon ahhhh

[gatys1fan]

EMERGENCY COMMS,, IM CURRENTLY HOMELESS… I take cashapp and applepay

[justanotherjaykist]

He’s talking to Paper btw

[paintytherealest]

hehehehehhee :3333 thats very sweet lol 💝💝

lowkey at first i thoughg this was supposed to be like u referring to mark and i was a little jelly but its ok 🥹🥹🥹🥹 chewing him smiles

[justanotherjaykist]

READ THE TAGS FOR CONTENT WARNINGS!!!!

It’s also payjay but OJ is the worst

[paintytherealest]

PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK ALERT 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 sighing i wish i made a comic but its hardddddd :((((( i rlly like them here tho theyre written very well 💝💝💝💝 oj i fear u are getting cooked tho sorry not sorry. i will DRINK your juice 🥹🥹

[caspercryptid]

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

[shrimpricebowl]

[paintytherealest]

somehow even tho this is rlly unrelated it still kinda hits. ig with where im at rn it makes more sense.

(personal rant/vent ahead feel free to ignore op)

i have 4 fucking days until school is out (in terms of actual school days, not counting sat and sun) and i am only currently passing 1 of my 5 (graded) classes. im not too far gone i think but. ive struggled the whole year and all of hs in general. i WOULD HAVE failed my freshman ela class if my teacher didnt pity me enough to give me some points on a final i didnt do shit on to get me passing. living in general has been an uphill BATTLE for me as long as i can remember and the traumatic relationship i had in 8th only made that worse. its also partly bc of my mom. she never set me up with skills for shit, no work ethic or anything so once this shit wasnt easy enough to do mostly in class anymore i fell off hard. and ive realized one of the CORE THINGS making me want to fucking end it all was just. the fear of not being able to make it. i would rather kill myself than not be good enough to succeed. Academically. Socially. At work. Even with the shit i do for myself. And i turned to instead promising myself that i can kill myself once i have done a little list of things i really want to do.

And. I finally decided today that i'm not just gonna give up on myself like that. I'm not gonna give up on the dreams i have. The shit i want to do to help other people. i REFUSE to give that up and i know one way or another there must be a way for me to be able to finally meet my expectations for myself. I know damn well i havent tried everything in the book yet. I'm not giving up, for myself and also for the people that could be benifitted by me being here. I'm not giving up. It's not an option anymore.

[paintytherealest]

Just kidding chat i need to cut myself until i bleed out and die ^_^ i am never ever ever ever ever ever going to be happy ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is no hope for me i need to keep everthing inside and bleed it out and theyll find my dead fu,ckingcorpse in bed finally at peace this is the ONLY way ill ever be at peace i cannot make new friends i cannot talk to new people theyll hate me they know what i am i will never be able to be myself around them i need to hide hide hide everything and stay silent and die silently

[thisisexorsexism]

“they’re a them” “are they a they?” “They’re a they/them.” I AM PUTTING YOU IN THE EXPLOSION CHAMBER TO HAVE YOU EXPLODED IMMEDIATELY

not all nonbinary people use they/them pronouns you absolute doorknob

Also referring to someone like that is so incredibly dehumanizing?? I’m mad

“Do they use they/them pronouns? What pronouns do they use?” 👍👍

“is that a they? are they a they?” 👎👎

I’m a binary trans guy myself but I have friends who are non-binary, and every time I introduce one of them to someone (especially my family ffs) the response I almost always get is “are they a they?”

also mods please feel free to ignore this if I’m talking for/over nonbinary people in any way I don’t realize :p this is your space not mine

this is exorsexism

[shrimpricebowl]

[paintytherealest]

somehow even tho this is rlly unrelated it still kinda hits. ig with where im at rn it makes more sense.

(personal rant/vent ahead feel free to ignore op)

i have 4 fucking days until school is out (in terms of actual school days, not counting sat and sun) and i am only currently passing 1 of my 5 (graded) classes. im not too far gone i think but. ive struggled the whole year and all of hs in general. i WOULD HAVE failed my freshman ela class if my teacher didnt pity me enough to give me some points on a final i didnt do shit on to get me passing. living in general has been an uphill BATTLE for me as long as i can remember and the traumatic relationship i had in 8th only made that worse. its also partly bc of my mom. she never set me up with skills for shit, no work ethic or anything so once this shit wasnt easy enough to do mostly in class anymore i fell off hard. and ive realized one of the CORE THINGS making me want to fucking end it all was just. the fear of not being able to make it. i would rather kill myself than not be good enough to succeed. Academically. Socially. At work. Even with the shit i do for myself. And i turned to instead promising myself that i can kill myself once i have done a little list of things i really want to do.

And. I finally decided today that i'm not just gonna give up on myself like that. I'm not gonna give up on the dreams i have. The shit i want to do to help other people. i REFUSE to give that up and i know one way or another there must be a way for me to be able to finally meet my expectations for myself. I know damn well i havent tried everything in the book yet. I'm not giving up, for myself and also for the people that could be benifitted by me being here. I'm not giving up. It's not an option anymore.

[milquetoast-zeitgeist]

[nerdygaymormon]

[dunkthebiscuit]

This is why Pride is not just a party. It's a joyful celebration, but it's also a pointed and colourful two-finger salute to a world that stood back whilst so many of us died. And we'll never go quietly, never again.

[justanotherjaykist]

Looseleaf and Paper

[paintytherealest]

PEAK PEAK PEAK ALERTTTTT what do the japanese characters say 👀👀👀 u did very good here with the lighting/shading :))))

[2000swootie]

>"proship dni (i know what proship means)"

either you don't know what proship means, or you're admittting you're pro-harassment.

[batmanbeyondrocks]

Black Menswear modelled by Black Men

Creative Director Rock Mitchell

[kowabungadoodles]