Lessons of Yesterday (yes, literally Saturday, 9/14) from Gentlemen of the Road Tour Experience
1. I have reached the age where festival going is no longer a desirable full day experience. This is why festivals in a city atmosphere with liberal re-entry policy are ideal for the needs of seeking A) shade; B) seating; C) AC; D) cheaper than festival pricing beverages; E) enhanced food options that can be enjoyed while seated not in dirt; F) fffing bathrooms that are NOT port-a-potties. Too often have I found that people using port-a-potties are too drunk to use port-a-potties in a civilized fashion involving regard for other people actually having to use them.
2. Only buy tickets for festivals if the headliner(s) are worth the cost of admission. Everyone else in attendance must be gravy on the top or icing on the cupcake. My sweet tooth needs a break, let's stick with gravy. Ideally you want lots of gravy supporting act options, but ultimately if gravy calls in sick for whatever reason there's no refund on your overpriced ticket. At least make sure you can be assured to either get your money back or get a reschedule by ensuring the person you want to see most is under some level of obligation NOT to stand you up by being the main headliner. It's just wiser. If money is no object to you, then you can ignore this rule.
3. Girls are less likely to respect your personal space at a concert. Especially if it is a females are in a large pack and even worse so if drunk and talking like they jumped off the Clueless movie screen. I don't get it Ladies. WHAT THE F*CK?! Did no one teach you the rules of concert going?! Not every guy wants you to lean on them or help you stay standing straight just because they are taller than you and a male. No girl wants you standing flesh to flesh with them while sweating as you turn your backs on the show so you can discuss "which guy in the band is hottest and that you should scream when they come up on the jumbo tron to show he's your man" but BTW - YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OF THEIR NAMES SO YOU HAVE TO CALL THEM "YOUR GUY" OR "YOUR MAN". This applies to you regardless of your financial standing or level of intoxication.
4. And also, there's no crying because you got "almost lost" because you're drunk and had to leave the middle of the pit to go to the bathroom. Suck it up and walk it off. You get drunk and you gotta pee - that's cool, go break the seal. Don't realistically think you're gonna find your friends in a giant sea of people, especially if you don't find some kind of physical markers to guide you back. Let's be a little more responsible and realistic shall we. Just cause your drunk, you don't have to be stupid. Stupid drunks can be amusing, but usually piss off those around them who are not equally as intoxicated. Don't be that guy or girl.
5. I don't care how much better your outfit looks with your hair down. No one wants your hair up in their radius. Bring a hair tie. PERIOD. Always. PERIOD. Even if you don't think you're gonna use it. Yes, at a concert things get close and everyone is up in your business, but that doesn't mean ya gotta be up on the others around you literally - unless you're in a mosh pit. There's a separate code of ethics for that.
6. Feathers are out. Flower head bands are in. Not only can we all wear brightly colored jeans, but guys are completely within fashion reason to wear brightly colored shorts.
7. 3 best things I packed in my bag - wet wipes, handheld paper fan, and a crank flashlight. Instant grossness elimination throughout the day. Everyone anywhere near me also reaped benefits and verbally confirmed appreciation for the fan. Flashlight kept me from not being hit by the speeding cars on the dark beach road where the shuttle dropped us off.
8. Sometimes you do in fact need 2 shirts from a favorite band's merch table, even when they are overpriced. Try not to feel too guilty. Try to tell yourself they help your band and their support system to live a good life that will allow them to make more music for many years to come and when they come back, you will have great "old school" fan shirts to sport years from now.
Full Concert Review Complete With Photo and Video Coming Soon!
