palerose

A girl living in her own world.

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Please check out my Etsy store!!

I could really use the funds and I really want to try and make this work.

I have digital 2024 calendars, planner templates and more! I also plan on making physical products soon - I’ve already began making scrunchies.

I’m selling stuff for cheap so please if you could, show the page some love.

https://stationeryboutiquex.etsy.com

ALSO! I’m going to be doing digital realistic pet portrait commissions too, so if anyone is interested please send me a message for details!

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GUESS WHO’S BACK LOL.

So a lot has happened since I moved into my own place, and after a year and a half of it I’ve moved into a house with my bf, his sister and one of our friends.

Ummm so they kinda force fed me into a weight I hate even tho I’m still considered underweight - but I’m miserable and getting back to it.

I managed to get to a LW of 34kgs… but yeah now it’s ruined. I’ll post some pics if Tumblr lets me.

Um yeah so looking at these pics and knowing I don’t look like that now really sucks and is a big motivator for me to get back on track.

I also now have a kitten, his name is Luca.

And I have an Etsy store because I want more money so I can live alone again and ⭐️ve in peace.

Please support me if you can:

https://stationeryboutiquex.etsy.com

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Sort of took a break from tumblr because I was busy moving into my own apartment. But now that that’s done I can be much more active on here.

I’ve hardly been eating and I’ve bought a bunch of low calorie and healthy things to sustain me. I have a bunch of snacks that I’ve accumulated over time but not eaten because I don’t wanna waste food. But apart from that literally I have to eat is low calorie stuff.

I think the reason I’m not losing weight any quicker is because even tho I restrict to less than 500 calories without fail (usually having around 350 plus burning most of them off anyway) is that most of what I eat is processed and not good for me. Even tho I hardly eat, what I do eat hasn’t been very healthy. So imma do my best to eat healthier and hopefully that will cause some extreme and rapid weight loss.

Also I bought baby garden and vegetable risotto, and a whole pouch of it is 91 cals. I’m really hoping it tastes nice, even if it just tastes bland I have spices that I can add to it to make it taste better. If it ends up being nice then it’ll definitely become a go-to dinner.

I’m so glad University is starting back up again soon, I’ll be so busy studying that I won’t be tempted to eat. But for the next couple of weeks I’m going to be so busy with work that I won’t eat much anyway and I’ll burn a shit ton of calories off.

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Guys!! Please recommend ana books to me!!

I’ve already read wintergirls and I loved it, I’m currently reading a sample of “thinspo” (I have to go buy an itunes gift card so I can purchase it) and I was wondering what the other good ana books I could read on iBooks are?

Thanks in advance

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I be reading books where the main character has an ed and hide the fact that I’m reading books where the main character has an ed as if I’m on tumblr.

Like I am secretly reading.

Vibes

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Guys! My dad is going to help me pay some of the rent for a studio apartment all to myself, right near uni. It’s not on campus so it’s cheaper, and it means I won’t spend all of my money that I’ve been trying so hard to save.

Im so excited. I won’t be forced to eat at dinner, I can just have soup or something low cal and no one can call me “pathetic” which is exactly what I was called today by my bf’s parents for leaving some food on my plate and hardly eating… but I still ate more than I wanted to (thankfully it was just two kinds of salad) but stiLL I felt so shit I went for a 45 min walk straight after.

But yay to being able to live alone!!!

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Sorry I’ve been inactive, I’ve been working so much!! I’ve been keeping my net cals under 300 this whole time tho, don’t worry!

Currently having some plant based halo top icecream as I watch YouTube. Tomorrow I’ll have a coffee way before I need to go to work so I hope to get through the day, thankfully I leave at 1:30pm tomorrow… so I can go for coffee afterwards with my mum.

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New vape fluid has a cooling affect on the mouth, and makes me not wanna eat.

Winning

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Didn’t have anything with calories until i was on break at work, after been up since 4:54am…. And it was green tea with honey.

Omg I wish I was skinnier already. I’m currently sipping Pepsi max and vaping so I don’t have anything else tonight- even tho it’s only 10:05pm.

Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with my dad, so I think in the morning I’ll just have a 0 sugar monster and my vape, do some cleaning up, and then go meet up with my dad. Then I have to go for dinner with my bf and his family, for his dad’s partner’s birthday. Im the designated driver, so I won’t be having any alcohol which saves me a shit ton, and if I decide later on in the night once we’re home to start drinking, I can just mix vodka and pepsi max - but we’ll see.

I keep having negative net caloric intakes, but I still feel so guilty and that I eat too much - even when im able to stay below a 400 cal net intake, which I might be able to do tomorrow… that’s if I can bring my own salad to wherever we’re going for dinner tomorrow.

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Wrist check at work.

Only had a 14 cal monster energy drink this morning. It’s only 8:57am, but I’m working until 2. Going to have a Pepsi max on my break, and hopefully I won’t have anything else until dinner, since I have to eat with my bfs family.

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Yesterdays intake - tho it’s only 12:07am

The vape my friend got me for my bday arrived today, so I got to try it out when I went to the city!

I have a headache tho, so I’m not entirely sure if it’s nicotine free? Online it says 0mg, but on the bottle it has in huge writing “WARNING CONTAINS NICOTINE” and then underneath it in tiny writing it only says “may contain”. So idk what’s going on with that but oh well.

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Todays net intake: -690 cals.

I went for such a long hike today, it was so nice - a lot of work tho and I should have brought water.

My bf is making me take more vitamins, hence the piss coloured water - it tasted good tho. And no calories. And at least he isn’t trying to force me to eat.

Tomorrow I’m meant to be going to out into the city with friends to get ramen… I’m going to go, but I’ll just get a drink.. and I’ll bring a packet of mini rice cakes with me instead.

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Did kinda shit. I starved all day, literally having one and a half coffees and a Pepsi max, then had a Thai salad for dinner (which I didn’t even eat all of) and then I had a tiny piece of cake, because it was my birthday and my parents bought it for me.. and I never see my parents and it was vegan, so of course I had to try some.

And that’s all, aside from a lollipop… but omg I’m a failure. I feel like such a failure. I literally hate how I look. I think for dinner I just want salad every night, or soup.. unfortunately I’m going to the city with friends to get ramen… and I really don’t want to miss out because I’ve never had ramen and there are some nice vegan options… but wtf I am so fat and never deserve to eat ever wtf.

I need to be skinny.

On a happier note, I made this using a website that lets you design your cute own tea.

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So much for only having 100 calories. I had some vegan chocolate to celebrate my birthday (which is in like 20 mins officially, but also I had my chem exam today so I thought it was fine)

How the fuck do I lose weight quicker wtf wtf wtf I am so fat and need to be b o n e s right now.

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Todays intake. I felt really lightheaded all day.

I have an exam tomorrow, but I’m going to do better tomorrow.

Here’s the plan:

Breakfast: MCT Coffee with soy milk: ~25 calories.

Lunch: monster ultra fiesta: 14 calories

Dinner: low calorie vegan French onion soup ~60 calories.

That would equal 99 calories. If I find that I need it, I’ll have 5 ritz crackers (73 calories).

If I feel really bad I’ll allow myself up to another 100 calories, since I have my chemistry exam.

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Dinner tonight was 5 ritz crackers (73 calories) and a vegan protein shake with water and vanilla soy milk (130 calories).

Had the zero sugar monster at like 2pm.

I’ve been really good today, fasted until dinner. I’m still drinking the shake and I’m hoping it’ll last me for a while. But I’m thinking of having a vegan vanilla rice pudding pot later (95 cal) since I’ve only had 301 calories and I’ve burnt off 272, I might play some just dance later, but I’ve been feeling crap all day and I have my chemistry exam tomorrow.