humanoid bean

IDK wtf to put here ummmmmm

[sunflowers-and-scales]

“this character did not act in the most objectively logical way possible!” is not ! actually valid literary criticism

[sunflowers-and-scales]

i have trust that the media literacy enjoyers will find this one idk

[acceptableduraz]

[gondorrevealparty]

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

[gondorrevealparty]

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

[thembocoles]

Getting traded and finding out on tumblr

[fakedinosaurbones]

getting optioned to AAA on an improvement plan

[byjove]

Elliot Page does not play Achilles in The Odyssey like transphobes were preemptively angry about but Homer just told me he updated the Iliad and Achilles is canonically transgender now and not just subtextually transgender like in the first draft.

[willgrahamscock]

how it feels to be surrounded by perverted mutants

[willgrahamscock]

STOP REBLOGGING I MEAN MUTUALS

[willgrahamscock]

oh come onnnnnn

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[pukicho]

are you the founder of the tumblr dialect and language, dear and almighty pukicho?

I probably contributed a little bit to the speech patterns people use on this site, which is such a very very bad yucky terrible thing for everyone.

[depsidase]

[phantomrose96]

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

[loki-zen]

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[emo-fagwolf]

trans men can't hornypost or appreciate one another if we're all silenced or dead btw. if the activism posting annoys you, good.

[fagdog-barks]

if people posted about tmas the way y'all post about tmes everyone would rightfully call it out and label them as violent transphobes. bomb that explodes only tmas? bomb that makes everyone thinks all tmas are rapists? we should kill all tmas? you hope all tmas are violently dismembered and tortured? etc etc? yeah, all of that is bad, nobody should be saying shit like that. obviously. oh but if you change it to tmes, it's funny actually!

[the-future-is-chrome]

yall its 2026 can we stop calling it “women’s healthcare”. there are people who exist that need uterus, vulva, vagina, and breast related healthcare and aren’t women. PLEASE stop forgetting about trans people and intersex people for the love of fucking god

[trilobite-memorial]

person A getting attacked with a machete

person B getting attacked with an axe

person A : see? you are not being attacked with a machete. you are machete violence exempt! you are privileged because you are not being stabbed by a machete!

[ph0be6656]

This pisses me off

[asundergrowth]

[nyxiemeow]

[windoftime]

[the-vampire-roaming-the-woods]

I don't like getting into discourse here, however...

I'm fucking tired of the hate-fueled revisionism on the trans Community. Yeah, obviously, the term that literally means trans-attracted trans person is exclusively about trans women, sure, yeah, don't mind that isn't what it has meant since it's beggining...

[qqchurch]