Panic! At the calories

Trigger warning! I do not promote eating disorders.

[pale-sick-and-tired]

[tobethin-istowin-deactivated202]

ana tips

SEEK RECOVERY!

SEEK RECOVERY!

SEEK RECOVERY!

and i know no one is going to listen to that so please for my sake and yours please take care of yourselves, keep yourselves hydrated, take your vitamins, take good care of your hair and nails, keep warm, get a good amount of sleep and stay safe!

[hel7l7]

[miasroadtorecovery]

me before vs. after eating an apple

and that’s on body dysmorphia

[sadlazyana]

My fbi agent watching me download tumblr again after another failed recovery

[skinny-dreams-skinny-memes]

[operationperfection]

I love weight loss pics!!! 😩❤️

[takecare-bewell]

if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘food’ labeling some good, some bad as i assign moral value to this grain of rice i might say ‘numbers’ counting, measuring, tracking calories, sizes, BMIs allthetimecalculating everysinglething if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘beauty’ complete devotion, idolization of the western standard begging for others’ envy i might say ‘attention’ desperately needing someone anyone, to notice me at all to see that i am unwell, to care if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘control’ the sick, sick result of discipline gone sour a curdling obsession i might say ‘guilt’ over being too big too plain too comfortable too needy too me if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘anger’ hating the injustice of living hating everything, everyone including myself i might say ‘pain’ a way to transpose the scars of my soul onto the body aching for congruence if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘minimalism’ my mind whirls like a run-on sentence and i can’t stand being wasteful so no thank you i don’t need anything at all really i might say ‘self-righteousness’ i’m parading the streets, declaring my holier-than-thouness because hey look! i’m better at dying than you if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘expectations’ i’ve been naturally small my entire life and now, but now i lose myself when i grow i might say ‘childhood’ reverting to my prepubescent body no breasts and when sex was just a word muddled with giggles if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say ‘addiction’ a habit that can’t be kicked craving the buzz, the high of manipulating my insides i might say ‘death’ i’m not that happy anyway so why not drive my body to the edge, tempting it to quit? if you asked me what my eating disorder is about i might say nothing because i do not know it’s not like it matters because you don’t ask because you don’t know either

—i don’t know, you don’t know, no one knows // 01.22.18

[thinmoonchild]

this is so beautiful it made me tear up

[coffeenzoloft]

[illbeathinboy]

having an eating disorder means that meal planning/calorie counting/etc and daydreaming about being skinnier become your only hobbies. its your life, its all you think about. everything else fades to the background.

[ifmercuryvanished]

✨Things this blog will never do. ✨ -Tell you what weight you should be at. -Tell you that your body is not good enough. -Shame individuals who are comfortable in their weight. -Promote worshiping “Ana” or “Mia”. -Take an “anti-recovery” stance. ✨Things this blog is for. ✨ -Personal thinspo. -Having a public way to share thoughts. -Supporting others going through a similar struggle. -Providing an open space for a topic that is taboo. -Making meaningful connections with others.

[i-wish-i-was-a-skeleton]

[sadlazyana]

My fbi agent watching me download tumblr again after another failed recovery

[dyingfordiorr]

You ever catch yourself eating three meals a day and you’re like damn it’s about time I

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

✨ trigger a relapse ✨

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[b-b-e-e-s]

[skinnygirlcornerrr]

when I eat too much it makes my stomach hurt.

when I eat too much I lose my progress.

when I eat too much I gain weight.

when I eat too much I am not in control.

when I eat too much I am unproductive.

when I eat too much I look bloated.

when I eat too much I hurt at practice.

when I eat too much I am not perfect.

[thinforspring-deactivated202006]

Its weird

Its weird that you can go through a “recovery” like state and not even think about it. I’ve gained like 10lbs over the past few months and although I still hated my body I didn’t really think much of it, I just let it be. But then ana comes crashing back and I just want to grab every piece of fat on my body and rip it off. I cry again because I think I’ll never be happy. I don’t even want my arm pressing against my side bc I’m so repulsed by how my body feels.

Anyone else get this? It’s like I don’t even try to get better, my mind just stops caring at some point. And then it comes back. It’s like a cycle. Never ending. It’s weird.