Life Is Good And So Is My Dog @pantslesspotatoes - Tumblr Blog

dystophoria-blog

ART: Alex Ruiz

apolonisaphrodisia

Amazing crib carved out of walnut by Garrick Andrus

Via Tentacles / Steampunk Tendencies

scary-stories

I was a part of Queen's Guard in England. (Part II)

Please forgive me for splitting this account in parts- it couldn’t all fit in one post. First write-up is here.

I was hesitant to call the police after that crazy whatever-she-was left my apartment, but my girlfriend wouldn’t have it. Police were at our place in about 20 minutes. Took our statements, woman’s description, and told us to immediately call should anything else happen. But my mind was set on something else. My commander. He told me not to talk to her. And I did. And now I’m waking up in bed with her, and how the fuck did she even get into my flat, shit man, too many thoughts. The next day I went to my commander’s office.

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scary-stories

I was a part of Queen's Guard in England - One of the rare jobs where you aren't allowed to move, no matter what stands in front of you.

This happened to my brother-in-law two years ago. I am telling the story exactly the way he told me it. He appeared very genuine when telling it, and, you know what, after all that’s happened to me, I have no reason not believe him. And as for you, well, you be the judge.

I was in the English army, you know? Two tours in Iraq, one in Afghanistan. My mom absolutely hated the life I chose, and I can’t really blame her. But you know what? The fucked up part is that the biggest horror I’ve ever experienced wasn’t in one of those shitty eastern places, no, it was in the very center of European “civilization”, London.

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little-black-cat-paddington

Lurking about on Caturday

anxietyproblem

crumpled-talia

Literally has been me lately

booksandbrainsandsoftthings

Not sure who needs to see this, but if a Service Dog starts backing into you, pushing you away from their handler, or they sit down at a leash distance from their handler

You Should Move Away.

They are performing a task known as "spacing" or "blocking" that helps reduce or prevent anxiety in their handler.

They are NOT "asking for pets" or being disobedient or asking to be spoken to. All you have to do is stay back from the dog and handler.

This is not a capslock PSA because I'm not sure how many people that don't have a SD actually know this is a trained task.

naamahdarling

I did NOT know and this is both very cool that SDs can be trained for this, and very important that we all know how to respect it.

auckie

When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING

Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.

auckie

The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating

tchaikovsky is proud

tinker-tanner

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

cwunch

moosefeels

apprentice and master baker makin biscuits

ifyouhadmefuckyou-deactivated20

@venomrevenant

lynati

Apprentice carefully studies the technique.

tmp-art

“I met the night and they purred"

Based on this post

nightmarecorruptedfairy

This is precious and exactly what owning a black cat is like. Especially if you happen to also have black blankets and pillows, Doubly so for the fluffy ones