"That's So Metal"

| Nic | 25 | 🇦🇺| "Known Homosexual"

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[starless-planet]

Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharoah’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharoah’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharoah’s wrath

[thesunpersists]

[kply-industries]

*puts a disk in u*

[imat711yallneedanything]

Thank you

[moveslikekeithrichards]

when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

[redstonedust]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[charlesoberonn]

Reddit too

Not to mention all the youtube shorts creators who do dramatic readings of tumblr posts.

[calebwittebane]

i love it when people trap the warden in minecraft by making a moving piston that makes noise so the warden just quietly stares at it. ipad baby

[calebwittebane]

his touy

[bogleech]

Funny how depending on who's saying it and where, the words "dark fantasy" could mean that the work contains a hardcore questionably ethical kink scenario, or it could mean that at some point there might be some kind of a Skeleton King.

[owa-tagoo-siam]

[programmerhumour]

Once upon a time…

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[thebeanestbad]

[personification-of-anxiety]

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

[triassictriserratops]

[headspace-hotel]

you know how when you go out in the middle of the woods, your phone loses internet service? that is because the trees naturally protect you from the evil dark energy rays generated by influencers and twitter opinions. follow for more information about the beauty of nature

[aroace-polyshow]

truly nothing funnier than having an archive of when you first started getting into a media that has since consumed your entire life

[statictay]

rereading dracula after reading carmilla for the first time really makes me appreciate carmilla's efficiency in securing a place. dracula had to deal with all the logistics of the housing market meanwhile carmilla just crashed her car on someone's lawn and she got a cushy guest room and a girlfriend out of it. carmilla the woman you are

[dailystrugglesofadeletedblog]

all i want is a historic biopic about the lesbian who was alive circa sheridan le fanu time who lesbianed so hard and so wild that when he walked in on her lesbianing he just went “omg vampires” and wrote carmilla

[merinnan]

[rockelyn]

[lechatelierlaw]

OMFG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

"THEY CAN FLY?!?"

[alternativeulster]

the best part of the conclave was watching that mama seagull throw up into her baby's mouth on the livestream. also, the two gulls with the baby were both female, and it was feeding from both of them. all this to say the whole world sat and watched vatican lesbian seagulls raising their baby while waiting for a pope

[u-so-silly]

Karlach deserves all the hugs