wonderwall

Jia Rong, twenty four. online dashboard of my life.

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Books I read

Starting this thread for to better recollect the books I read!

2020: 1) Becoming by Michelle Obama (Lol I took what, 4 months to finally finish this book)

3 key highlights + personal reflections of the book:

1) How much I related to her personal childhood: that Michelle Robinson typically excelled in the boundaries of what a meritocratic school system to be. She was ambitious, and competitive and strived to be the best/excellent at the typical yardstick of success ladder for the first 20 years of her life. After which, scrambling to find meaning and purpose for what she hustled for, thereafter, bumping into a passionate activist like Barack Obama. 

2) Themes of giving back; commmunity work & activism, which kept me interested that wow true community work that she does in her life can be so purposeful and meaningful. Creating her programs, and most importantly, creating her own initiatives and driving it from a First Lady point of view, being an independent voice to champion her ideas along the way even with a strong partner like Obama.

3) Shone a little bit of light on the challenges of politics & the difficult decisions to make. & how people can twist it around and make it politically ugly, even though it is supposed to be centered around the best decisions for the mass public. For me, what an interesting balance to make, to be surrounded by difficult and impactful decisions around you everyday. I do believe such challenging work (compromises, decision making on different impactful aspects) is what I like to be immersed in.

What I loved about the book apart from the highlights

- Her words when she ends every chapter has some sort of ring to it; closes the chapter perfectly with the right amount of food for thought.

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Lookback 2019

Hehe. way overdue reflections of 2019 and new year goals of 2020. Wanted to do this during new year period but, l a z y.

Let me recollect some of my achievements of 2019, given it truly passed by in a WHIZ.

Personal:

1) April 2019: Went for a lovely trip to Cebu Philippines with Theo! Lovely time visiting Oslob whale sharks, and Bohol island.

2) Completed my series of Clear Aligners! very happy about it even tho some would say not much difference, but a good spend of time and $$.

3) June 2019: Spain + Morocco Trippin’ with Theo, Bea and ZS!! :) What an adventure and we got to see and experience such different things. Desert Camping, riding camels, Alhambra, visiting Gaudi’s La Sagrada Familia being some of the many high points of the trip! 

4) Bintan trip with Theo - very very lovely and relaxing stay at The Residence Bintan. The villa was absolutely beautiful & would totally go again.

5) Nov 2019: Yunnan trip with mom and dad! Was an unexpectedly a really good trip, pretty much free and easy and private time throughout. Good memories shared with them and also lots of eye openers for me. Extremely beautiful sceneries, like Yulong Snow Mountain, Lijinag and Dali ancient cities being a few of my favourite places.

Career:

1) I guess one of the highlights/lowlights got to be the part where I job/role-search. This came with alot of anxiety, stress, confusion and of course nerve wrecking. Achievements in terms of progressing with certain opportunities like EDB, Mckinsey, and also discovering more of the industry and what kind of roles are suitable for me. Missed opportunities being Mckinsey, Woodmac & new energies roles. 

2) This brings about a closure of a chapter in my career, my 3 years spent in Reliability and completion of my Shell Graduate Program!! Definitely thinking there can be more I can do, but I did experience and learnt alot during this time here. What I am hoping is being able to actively apply what I have learnt there into my new role as well. Good times when I gained competency and confidence in my role, but at the same time was when I found even then I was not fulfilled/satisfied with the job/role hence my search began. Good milestones include conducting and chairing several big scale workshops, leading Quality piece and hence gotten TA recognition, and managed to author in a global Reliability newsletter to share a piece of my work.

3) Hopefully, new opportunities will come by with my role in E&S. In the few weeks I’ve been here, challenging is an understatement. However have also found alot of excitement in supporting new projects, understanding more of the market outlook, improving in my stakeholder management skills, and exposure to so many more businesses and work outside of site/Bukom. Learning and development is definitely something I think is more related to what I desire to do and the skills I want to strengthen for my career. Wising myself all the best, and may I be confident, brave, resilient, tenacious & gain strength to work towards my best in this role. <3 #selflove

4) NXplorers was an eye opener for me, in terms of where I would like to volunteer my time i.e. mentoring science and math to kids. Also a good exposure to colleagues from various paths as well!!

Let’s see what 2020 will bring. Positivity!! :D

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Vanessa Hudgens - Vanity Fair Oscar Party

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REFLECTIONS

2 Jan 2019

Another once-in-forever check in. Its a funny thing, 2018, I can’t say I’ve had a fantabulous year, I don’t find it jam packed with things I wanted to accomplish, and yet it has passed.

2018 and whats more to come - 

1) Work, careers, aspirations

I find myself becoming comfortable. And I’m too young to get comfortable. Comfortable with getting along trudging day by day knowing my pay would come. Knowing I’m doing OK just getting by. Hell no. I did not work hard and strive to have a mediocre work life. While I do seek out challenges, I wonder if they are big enough to excite me, to inspire me, to let me grow exponentially. I know the kind of career, what kind of work life I desire/aspire, but I don’t know where and how to begin.

Achievements of the year: HCU Cat change, raising ejectors project, scope workshops, Nexus manuf lead, driving investigations & moving threats. Not exactly a whole resume I’m utterly proud of.

Soul searching continues, in search of my next role (remember the 3yr timeline I gave myself to have a better idea of where I want to go and sure about my next step forward in reaching the path I want to go. I’m coming to end of 2 years soon (crazy fast or what) Also open to switching career paths in Shell, also open to exploring jobs externally (but not that aggressive about that yet). The confusion continues, and I am searching for not just facts/insights/opinions, (all the conversations with many did not seem to help), but my own direction & aspiration.

One thing that I do appreciate and do not regret for these are reasons for my choice of employment - culture/community & compensation/progression. Collaborative, like minded, driven colleagues, ample and generous progressive compensation for a life well lived. Appreciate that alot and hence the comfort that I find in my job.

2) Personal development

I did want to do a design project a month - Engineers without borders? Any design community I can join?

Fitness plans come again in new year new me 2019. Classpass subscriptions, regular running, dance classes sound doable no? Gotta keep at it!!

Dance, music, films, continue to be my outlet for my soul...Have considered joining recitals for the past 2 years to bring myself to the next step for leisure classes etc doesn’t really train skill and muscle and technicalities. While I am not that keen on that for this year, really got to ask, whats next? Do I want to step up?

3) Travel

Travel was more significant for me in 2018 than in 2017. Jan Greece trip, Apr Bangkok trip, Jul Bali diving trip, Dec Korea, KL trip!

Feeling very spendy for I consciously know that travel is always a luxury. Either way, some were considered getaways, distractions, enjoyment, social, rather than recharge, and rejuvenation. 

Hope to take adventure to another level this year!! At this point of time, I do choose to take more trips and along with it a bulk of my spending. 

Can’t wait for more adventures in nature, exploring the cultural diversity and richness of Spain & Morocco!! Goal: Mount Kinabalu & another diving trip :))

4) Relationships

Like I’ve told some of my friends, juggling between 4 groups of colleagues-friends and normal personal friends is not sustainable. I need to learn to say no to have more chill me time!

At this point of time. Actually brain is very very tired already. Time to stop here. Good round of thought pouring. :)

[makinginfinity]

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obsession with earrings..I think it might very well be my fav kind of jewelery. Anyone with me?

[conifae]

[lazyangels-network]

Join us and start gaining - Lazy Angels | Queens ; ghlorify

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[20 Oct 2018]

Today I’m feeling, I can stop doing design but design cannot be rid of me.

Soul is alive with design, art, music and dance.

Feeling inspired. For 1 design project a month?

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Rosy morning porthole view.

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Lol, daily Bukom ferry!!

Just a quick update and check in of my thoughts and emotions. its now 19th Oct 1.44am (Friday). What a day to finally log this down. I tell myself I want to write more, rant in this space more so that i can be clearer with my messy thoughts. But its beeen longgg. Today is leave day, that I took for birthday weekend (which I swear to always take to do a raincheck on my life, work and family and friends.) Theo’s plans for the weekend he calls it birthday fundays hehe.

Work

1.5yrs in Bukom, as reliability engineer, shell graduate program. Loads of ups and downs, loads of self created expectations, disappointments and motivation. Loads of doubts, self doubts, confusion on my career choices and moves (and binge watching Suits isn’t going to help). In order of how much worry and confusion it has caused me:

1) Job seek - next role rotation - M&C/E&S/TA?? change of company?

2) Boss/Mentor dramas - seeking out mentors and coaches that I look out too; vice versa opportunities that came at my door; seizing the opportunities vs managing my boss

3) Not be distracted withe above 2 and to focus hard on delivering and performing best at what seems a vague job reliability engineer is

Life

Scrambling to juggle between work, personal motivations and aspirations, family, Theo, friends. This has led to some disappointed situations and points of myself. FOMO doesn’t really help too. I wonder if i end up giving off negative vibes to people around me. 

I struggle the hardest in transitioning with my parents, into work life, into adult life of twenty five. I avoid difficult first-time conversations on work, salary and allowances, boyfriend situations, personal aspirations, all because its the first time I’m ever going to tell them and I know I can’t deal with whatever reactions and responses they gon give me. Anybody get that? First child problems lol. I find myself white-lying and hiding and avoiding topics just so that I won’t end up needing to explain, having to assure them repeatedly. And it doesn’t help that the less I communicate with them, they think the less I care about them. I almost hate having to hear their difficult thoughts as well on marriage and work and supporting the family as though I’m the 3rd parent. Hence feeling more and more distant to them. And I know they too are getting older, and opportunities to care for them and enjoy life with them get lesser. How do I get myself out of this situation?

While the above troubles trouble me most of the time, deep inside me I also can’t wait to move out and start my own independent life. Long gone are the days of USA and university days where life and time seem so much to be in my control.

Beh. Is this what they call quarter life crisis?

Dont mind this negative post, its these thoughts that consume me and make my mind so messy. All the more need to park these in a parking lot here so that I can bathe myself in lovely fulfilling memories daily.

I hope I can find a way to either relieve my worries & seek a better resolution for myself and people around me. This is my birthday wish this year. I appreciate this time for self reflection & this check in, and I do hope for a more positive year ahead. :)

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Fab 10/10 trip will do it all over again!😘 @kiamchai #bali #lalaguna #amed #letsdivetulamben #sunsetpoint #motelmexicola #seacircus (at Bali, Indonesia)

[aestatemagazine]

Daily inspiration. Learn more about the project www.aestate.be

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[15x20]

more like this ♡

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my new fav

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Succulents

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Grad Trippin’ 2016/2017

(Milford Sound)

What a blessing to be able to take graduation trips to conclude my insane, exhilarating, uni helluva ride. Not just for holidaying purposes but also a great time to think back and think ahead! I do love some reflecting and pondering about life lol.

Part 1:

(Khaoyai Sunflower Field)

Went to Bangkok, Khao Yai for 6-7 days with da fam right after RENight in December! Great trip to finally bring my parents out, plan with da sis, unwind and just spend time together & spend/holiday guilt free. It has been quite difficult to choose a location because of certain tensions at home, and money crunches that we have. And also the budgeting and expenses was pretty tricky. Other than that, it was greaatttt. Khao Yai was such an unexpected surprise that got everyone back to nature and back to simplicity, and nature usually is quite hard to reach with limited time and money. So glad to see the rejuvenation on my parents face and wish that we can get opportunities in the future to bring them to more places!

Bangkok shopping was AWESOME as usual. Tbh only my 2nd time to BKK (1st was right before uni started) and i had one aim in mind: eat, massage and shop. hehe. I literally shopped till I dropped and srsly damn shiok hehe. My fav places were New Rod Fai market and Platinum (surprisingly good for me even tho I hear its not so good anymore?) and previously great places like Chatuchak and Union Mall had nothing for me lolol.

I was thinking to myself. Lets srsly go to BKK every year for my shopping fix.

Part 2:

(Scenic Alpine Route)

3 weeks of New Zealand as 2017 started was AMAZING. Its one of those memories I want to keep for a long time, I will relive it again and again in my head, and one of the times that I hope can kickstart the changes I want to see in myself! (New year new me right)

Would love to do a review on NZ another time and the places we visited, things we did in more detail next time hur hur.

I am glad that I went alone with Theo coz it did give me personal space I needed and the time for thinking that I wanted. Learnt alot about myself and not sure if I can put it fully in words, but here’s a try

1) My lost sense of adventure, and my risk adverse attitude

SO many times I find myself over worrying, thinking too much about the activities we were about to do, feeling too scared, almost giving up so easily and stopping before I reached my limits. and every single time I find myself pushing it over rather easily and find that I may not know my limits very well. Of course, every single time Theo encouraged me through, which is also another reminder of how he drives me forward and complements me :)

Never did I think of myself as such a risk averse person but I really am. I always associated myself with pretty good at taking risks but not really. they say Fear is not your enemy, it is a compass to guide you to where you should grow. Time to embrace fear JR!

new year resolution: take courage, take heart to put in my all. 

2) thoughts toward stagnation

I know very clearly how I feel towards stagnation, and its not anything good at all. But i want to distinguish between doing things and stagnation of the mind. I want to learn to be more self aware and to strengthen my mind. How to keep my mind progressing as I am doing nothing. The nature & quietness of NZ reminded me of all these.

I want to focus my thoughts, feel stronger, find calmness in all that I do and treat every problem calmly even if I may not be the fittest to solve it. Put away any self-inferiority self-sabotaging shit that comes ahead when I stress out, get negative.

I want to put aside any self limiting beliefs, thoughts that I have no control over what I do in work, how my life would turn out. Thoughts that I chose the wrong career path, all those unnecessary worries about my career etc. SLAY ALL these thoughts. it’s time to regain control of my life. LOTR style hahaha.

of course beyond all that, keep learning, keep on keep on learning and reading. Establish better, more growth related mindset towards relationships so that listen more and give more with my friends, and family.

new year resolution: I want to start meditation, & proper fitness plan, & also still developing my creative side through 2017.

Think positive at work, and take failures as they may, embrace fears and failures with an open & humble mind.

Listen more, learn actively and passively.

[eletheowl]

❗️ (at Phat Cat Laundry)

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