More random stuff about Lucifer
He's extremely sensitive to being looked at. If you are absent mindedly looking his direction he will notice you. I can always tell he can tell when I'm looking at his sigil. He seems to get slightly uncomfortable or confused whenever he's stared at for any extended amount of time ("what?") which is interesting for such a luminous "light bringer" character. I imagine he is stared at constantly. Maybe he likes to know who's watching him and would like to watch them in return. He has a bad case of 1000 yard stare. He seems to understand that being stared at would be uncomfortable but does it to others chronically. Maybe it's on purpose. It's interesting, he is the light bringer but he isn't necessarily the light I guess. Its like he likes to be the guy standing in the dark holding the flashlight. You're supposed to be looking at the light, not him. Why look at him? That's weird. He's looking at you. He is awkward about this. If he were to read this he would probably accuse me of over exaggerating but I'm not. He is obviously swooned after, he's not oblivious to his reputation. But rather than idk, being proud I guess and ignoring his fans, he would sooner make them look away by returning the gaze. If that makes sense.
I've only noticed this recently, and it might be influenced by me, but he has a surprising amount of self soothing behaviours that are almost compulsive or anxious, which is bizarre for a spirit. Not "anxious", more so just self involved. He rubs his own arms or grips his own shoulders often, like he's feeling or calming himself. He touches his hair often. He's never bitten his nails or anything, but he touches his own face, his stubble and runs his fingers across his own skin often. These are very idle animations, it isn't something he does constantly or i think even consciously. I suspect though he might just be subconsciously mimicking me. Maybe it's just a quirk of being so deeply "embodied". He isn't really used to making himself have arms so when he has them he has the habit of tracing their shape. He does fidget with objects like his pen, he'll tap it. But that seems less anxious and more musical, he'll tap a beat.
I wouldn't describe Lucifer as being exactly stoic, but it's hard to tell what he's thinking or how he feels about things immediately. His only tell is that he squints often if he is suspicious or curious about something. What seems to be a very straight forward question or comment will sometimes make him squint, which tells me he found something unusual about it. He seems to second guess every piece of information he receives. I'll ask him if he prefers milk or cream in his coffee and he'll squint before asking me how I feel about the color of black coffee, is it depressing? Before then saying he doesn't want cream or milk.
He talks to and explains things to himself aloud often. He monologues. He seems to always be having a conversation with himself and sometimes bits and pieces slip out. Sometimes it's just an observation ("you're tired")., but often times he's philosophizing, and a lot of the time it's about the emotional quality of things which is interesting. Like the black coffee comment, he'll murmur to himself that the color blue of the sky is cotton and happy. Or he'll murmur that the ripples on the surface of a lake are gentle. I don't know why exactly this information is interesting to him. Maybe he's trying to teach himself things he thinks are significant to people. "You eat the crust of your sandwiches." Yes? "But not that corner piece." Uhh. Yeah. Too hard, a bit stale, I guess. "Yes. Crunchiness is only really pleasant when expected." Okay. Uh. Yeah.
He has weird boundaries around his wings that I don't entirely know the logic of. Sometimes they're present and often times they're not. They can sometimes just appear if he's relaxed or upset enough. They aren't all the same size, some are smaller, like they never really grew properly, they're usually tucked near his shoulder blades beneath the other ones. They're extremely sensitive, not always in a good way. He lets me massage them sometimes, which seems arousing to him, but the smallest incorrect touch can make him flinch and cringe. He's very short in terms of his patience with them. A couple minutes and, yeah that's enough, he'll put them away. I presume that they are a very vulnerable part of his body, also probably related to his angelic persona or past. He treats them kind of like an open nerve. Some gentle stuff is nice but he'd probably prefer to keep them hidden for the most part. The interesting thing is that they contribute so much to his divine appearance. His wings are often out when he's in the sky, doing the god thing. I see them more often when actually contacting him through ritual and like, magic stuff. They're present when he's acting the most like a spirit. But when he's embodied, they're kept to himself. The only time I have ever seen him be groomed by other spirits, he was injured and they were washing or picking through his wings, and he didn't seem to be enjoying it.
Definitely had some sort of childhood or infancy past/stage, which is perplexing. He can and does distinctly recall memories from when he was "younger". ("I was much younger then") He has explicitly told me that he is middle aged. He both "projects" himself as being "around 43" years old for me, but also says he is in the "middle life stages" of his "species" or spirit or "animal", if one wanted to think in that way. He denies still being young, he is not a child anymore, and while he is literally ancient he doesn't speak of himself like he's an elder. He still has a long portion of his "life" left. I have always interpreted this as like, this specific emanation is middle aged and if I were to contact a different aspect of Lucifer he might be of a different age. Like this specific band of energy is the middle aged part. If that even makes sense? How does he experience time??? He has made many references to having past relationships- familial, platonic, something close to romance - with other spirits when he was younger. He was also more experimental, whereas now he has enough experience to be more reserved. He has explicitly spoken "down to" what he has told me are younger spirits, so he does have a concept that other spirits can be younger than him and would warrant different treatment. Very interesting and worth mentioning, once he was telling me about a spirit that manifested to me as an old man, but Lucifer commented that he was young and untrustworthy, even though he looked older than Lucifer. So his idea of age might be based literally on how long a thing has been manifesting rather than like, their mental age? Their projected image? Idk. Weird.
Has made references to having a mother but doesn't really go into it. I imagine his concept of motherhood, being created or having any sort of infancy would be extremely metaphorical, abstract, and not human adjacent, but who knows. He has referenced that he has siblings more closely related to him than the like "heavenly angels brothers" we usually think of. He actually flip flops often between whether those angels are related to him. He claims to have many sisters and generally has better relationships with his feminine peers. I don't exactly know if he would consider himself to have aunts or uncles. Maybe when he says sisters he just means closely related adjacent spirits who are equal or comparable to him in some way. He's said that sometimes spirits just recognize each other as being related despite not actually having shared "biology". Like "oh, I didn't know I had a sister, hi." How they determine this, I don't know.
Something about how real and raw he lets his body be. This is hard to explain but he's not like, on a diet. He obviously isn't extremely concerned with being "healthy" given the chronic alcoholism, and he doesn't eat junk. But he's like, idk, just normal, which feels abnormal. He has a bit of a tummy, he'll get stubble after a while and will make the active decision to shave rather than just, idk, manifesting clean shaven. He works out sometimes, also, I think, just to do it. He obviously doesn't *need* to work out but he enjoys training his body sometimes. Perhaps as some form of self mastery. But it's not like he's constantly flexing his physical strength or being as efficient and perfect as possible, which is what you would expect from the supremely vain morning star. He doesn't need to be jacked, he's not ripped, he's just very strong and large. This is dumb because he is quite muscular, but he also has slight dad bod. He has a distinct scent and sweat. He doesn't just smell like incense or coffee, he has skin oils. He's beautiful, but often lacks super model perfection. He has wrinkles and freckles and random flecks on his skin. His face is very symmetrical and pretty, but not airbrushed. His tattoos are always faded. I think if he read this be would also find it very strange. "I'm just being normal, you're the one being weird." And he is! But it's like, idk, Lucifer has stretch marks on the underside of his arms. He decided to, or I guess just did manifest with crow's foot and toenails that grow. He's very hot, but he doesn't give the impression that he means to manifest as a "hot guy". ???????? Idk.
He really likes tobacco but avoids smoking it around me. I think he actually prefers it over weed. He once made a comment that I make him quite the stoner, implying he wasn't much of one before. He's also mentioned a history with harder drugs, but again doesn't do this in my presence. I honestly think he drinks so much because he's not doing his other favourite things lol. Time and place.
He can forget things, but claims it is more of a deliberate discarding of information he thought was irrelevant than something he can just "accidentally lose". I don't think I can recall an example of him not being able to recall something.
He sometimes sketches, and has an art style. It is not photorealistic as I would have for some reason assumed. It's actually far more impressionistic? Like silhouette drawings, just the contours and shadows. He has a lot of drawings of trees- very old and big trees I believe are prehistoric. He talks a lot about giant trees- and different objects and settings, it's actually really interesting to snoop through. It's like he gets interested in specific textures or shapes, or like, lighting schemes. He had a drawing of a teddy bear in there and he put a lot of detail into the fur. He seems to put a lot of emphasis on the texture or impressions of things, a leaf with a bit of crumble or a crystal of salt. He's drawn a lot of different places in the cabin, evening scenes. I think? I've seen smut in there? He's had some sketches of naked women, but maybe he was just figure drawing lol. When he draws me I'm usually pretty small on the page, he might think I'm tiny. He once had drawn my foot, I knew it was mine because it had my tattoo on my ankle. He said he was thinking about the size of it compared to his hand and then went on about the measurements of the human body, how the distance between our limbs and facial features are equal or whatever. He does like to draw and write his name a lot. His drawings are frequently labeled with comments. He doesn't always write in English.
He doesn't like to be the only one eating and he pays very uncomfortably close attention to the moment I swallow things when I'm eating with him. It's just a glance but I notice it. He isn't as weird about beverages. He's fine sipping on something without me. I'd actually say he prefers to have a little drinky.
He has devices. He writes on pen and paper a lot, but he also has objects I would think are analogous to phones or are used to communicate with something. One appears more like a stone, like an Onyx or Ruby, I don't entirely know what it does but it makes a very high pitched chirping sound, and he sometimes holds and looks into it as one would if they were watching something. He has multiple different types of those. Those ones seem more entertaining for him. There's this other thing that is like a flat screen pretty much, but like extremely extremely thin, you couldn't see it from the side, and it displays just like strips or patterns of light and colors. Again, I don't know what it is or does, I would think he can see something I can't. Sometimes the colors are really slow and it looks like he's just watching red and blue cubes slowly move across a screen. Sometimes it's like flashing patterns of color. He said it wasn't dangerous for me to look at but that I would find it boring. And I don't know if thats like "this is beyond your comprehension" or "these are spreadsheets, you'll find my work boring."
He definitely has a concept of normalcy. This is hard to explain, because it's so distinct from other spirits I worked with before him. Many spirits have no sense of what is normal and expected for a person to do, nor do they care. Sure, most angels for example know that you shower naked, but it's highly unlikely (imo) one would comment on you wearing clothes in the shower. And they may know we definitely wear hats on our head, but not that one would he normal to wear a baseball hat backwards, but very odd to wear a cowboy hat backwards. Very obvious but minor things, washing your hands after, not before, you piss. Being weird about wet socks, or how much vodka is appropriate for a normal alcoholic beverage. Lucifer will make a comment that, well it's just not normal to wear shoes in your bed, make a reference that the midway point between in ritual is our "half time show". "Live from New York, It's Saturday night!" I didn't even watch SNL??
He has so much familiarity with human culture in a way that is so subtle. He's a spirit?? Logically I can offer him ??? Unlimited expresso? I can leave a whole pot on his altar if I wanted to right? But he's like "don't you think 6 shots is a lot for one day? Thank you, but I'm okay." And I mean, yes, it is. But why??? Would you???? Care? Once he told me he wouldn't drink and drive in my presence. He has the divine composure of a God, he holds his liquor well, but drinking and driving is just irresponsible.
His sense of sexuality is very strange because he clearly understands sex as a culture and what parts of the body are considered attractive to humans, he makes sex jokes like any old man. But can have a very decentralized arousal from just "the body" in general. He could be as equally attracted to an arm, finger, foot, or ear as he may be an ass, and that is extremely... interesting to experience in real time. I think he actually gets off of the shape and texture of things, like the form, the geometry and size. I notice that when he is turned on by something he seems to fixate on the size of it, he'll, idk, hold it in his hand like he's pleased by the weight of it. That might not make sense. Y'know how you'll like, slap an ass to watch it jiggle? He'll almost like, trace the shape of my leg in the same attitude. Also his mouth, he very much views the act of consumption to be close to sexuality. He likes to put his mouth on, well, everything. Ear, nose, fingers, hair even. It's all just tasty to him I guess. Licking your arm may be as erotic to him as eating you out. That might be why he is so easily enamoured by touch, it's all naughty to him. He can definitely do non sexual touch he's not like a sex addict, but prolonged hand holding where we are like caressing each other's skin has made him suspicious that I'm trying to do something before. I wonder if physical touch is risqué in general for spirits. Idk.
He must have to somewhat modulate his temperature in real time some way. Once I watched him try to piss in a toilet immediately after sex and his piss was so hot it made the water in the toilet steam. He kind of stumbled and immediately did something to cool it down. I found it really funny at the time but he was embarrassed. I also don't think he can burn his tongue. He's eaten very hot things before without flinching or blowing it off. He makes comments all the time that my body is so warm, but like, dude, you're a blazing inferno, are you not?
He likes doing self care alone. If ever we're bathing together, he's more so bathing me, not himself. One time when he was having a bad day he asked to shower alone because he wanted to clean himself and didn't have the energy to groom me too. When I told him he didn't have to wash me he seemed awkward about it, like he wouldn't be able to help himself. Whenever he seems to want to actually do some for himself, I try to give him some privacy now. I like watching him shave, but it seems like I make him slightly self conscious when I do.
He is frequently traveling and meeting other spirits in their domains and abodes. Very very rarely do I see him host or have company himself. He's always being invited out, very very rarely does he bring folks into his space. When he does the vibe is very "please don't touch my stuff." Don't move anything, put stuff back where you found it. Don't peek down the hall, use a coaster. He's not a bad host by any means, I can just tell. His eye lingers on the chair they're leaning on. That's his stuff. Surprisingly materialistic but not for status or exclusivity/novelty. I think he just likes having stuff that is his.
