all i have to say really is that. you're really the gods'/god's. like you are theirs
i think. the difference between being spoused vs not necessarily spoused but staying together w a god without a formal commitment is that when you're not spoused, you agree on things w ur god as they happen?? but w spousal you've kind of agreed to generally what the god wants, as you are getting spoused.
that's how it feels for me at least
it does feel like giving your life to the god in the way it's no longer "how about you do this" and it's more the god saying "here's where you're going. i'm putting you here" and my agreement was made in advance during spousal as opposed to on the spot
it just feels different. if you were planning on following what your god asked regardless, then there's not a difference in practice between spousal and not being spoused. but the feeling is so different
if loki says "you're going to do this" it means i will be doing it. not like i choose to or i agree to. it will just happen. it kinda feels sometimes like even if i was too scared or hesitant, my body feels pushed to do it almost??? like it really does feel like it just happens.
i guess spousal means letting your gods use their super magic cosmic powers to bring about any outcome for you. there's no waiting until you can bring yourself to follow them?? there's no "do you want to do this?? not yet?? alright we can try later". they're just like "this is happening by this time. i'll be with you through all of it" and if u weren't ready well. ur about to be that's for sure
ALSO. you don't get to wander off as much😭. it's like having a set life path. if you wanna be like "hmmm actually what if i went and tried out this other thing" in a spousal they can straight up be like "nope not 4 you. get back here" instead of waiting for you to wander away and back again. u can only wander if you were allowed to wander
i should add they can tell the difference between you not feeling ready vs actually not being ready. and sometimes wandering and indecision and impulsivity is gonna happen in godspousal but the difference is it's because it has specifically been allowed by the spouse.
godspousal is this plus being loved and looked out for. to me. so once you feel able to trust them it doesn't feel like a dangerous trap. listen christians had a point, bc in godspousal sometimes when things get bad or scary you do feel like you can "let go and let god(spouse)". sometimes being human takes over and you just feel scared but that's life
anyways. the gods are using their administrative control to spoil me which sounds like sunshine and rainbows and in a way it is!! but also in godspousal that means when you're panicking and crying bc what if i don't deserve this or what if i get in trouble somehow and pls pls pls i know i want this thing but i'm terrified something bad's gonna happen like it has before why can't i just wait. loki will just say "i know you're scared but you're still going to do what i asked when i ask. i promise i will take care of you. you will be getting spoiled".
it sounds silly but i was tortured as a child so the panic is real and severe okay✋
but trauma be damned loki is in charge and he will not let me run from love ever
so like. if you ever planned on limiting the traumas or tower moments you want to face. maybe don't get spoused
spousal means your gods love you and want to bring you to the ten of cups but it means there is absolutely no avoiding or delaying any tower moments or ten of swords moments or three of swords moments or five of cups moments. there's no "wait but can you just give me the shot when i count down". it happens when the godspouse says so
and if you will allow me to have a bit of an attitude:
i hope we can all be adults and understand that the "in my opinion" and "in my experience" is implied and that i actually can't make y'all do or believe anything. this is one single post. from a little ass self indulgent rambling and word vomit blog. on tumblr. and not at a podium. or a formal essay. or an instructional book. use your context clues. okay?
