paramnesia

hub and OOC thoughts for SanglantRomantique , Omnesvidentes , and brokenmirrorbaby NSFW/18+ // Mun over 21 // Potentially Triggering Content

[paramnesiax]

I really, really want to play in a legit Sabbat game. Like, my ST brought it up last night and my entire brain just started chanting “SABBAT GAME SABBAT GAME SABBAT GAME”

I DO have a Sabbat Ghoul version of Modern!Morgan in one of our online games which I’m super excited for but like... I really want to play her as a Toreador Antitribu beause I’m curious about what that timeline looks like.

This is why I love alternate universes/timelines. It is so much fun to see how a character changes and what new goals they develop... It’s a lot of why I mostly just play alternate versions of Morgan in like, every game I’m in -- because I love to see the ways this character can morph and change.

I’d really like a chance to do more Victorian!Morgan games because I haven’t had the chance to play her in the long term outside of like, tumblr... Because I’m super interested in playing her arc in a regular game. 

But yeah, the different Modern!Morgan variants are so, so very different and I absolutely love it. 

Gangrel!Morgan ended up becoming the fucking Baron of Arkham -- against her will. The anarchs got together and voted her into the position almost entirely to piss of the Prince of Boston who VERY MUCH a high clan/low clan supremacist Ventrue so they figured making a Gangrel their Baron would be a massive spit in her face. It was she took it literally as a fucking declaration of war. But in trying to clear out the Camarilla who had been sent to the city, halfway through combat with one of the coteries discovered that MOST of them had been blood bound to the Prince and actually absolutely DESPISED her... So she offered to find a way to break the bonds if they joined the Anarchs. She converted all but ONE of the Camarilla members in her city to the Anarchs by freeing them from the Prince. And then when the Sabbat took over Boston, she IMMEDIATELY made her city a haven for any fledgelings who might want to run away from the Sabbat there... She HATES being Baron because she doesn’t think she’s AT ALL suited to leadership  because of what happened with her ex and the fact that she’s kind of having some issues w/psychosis and hallucinations after diablerizing the piece of shit... But she’s actually really, really fucking good at it!

Brujah!Morgan is the Childe of the Baron of Santa Marta and literally decided she wanted to become a Brujah to  piss off the Prince because she had been totally fucking her over. She’s ended up with a ghouled alien clone who she will literally do anything for and is just the MOST self-sacrificing, stupid as fuck, “I will put myself in danger to save others” version of Morgan in existence... Like, she’s literally fucking put effort into perfecting Celerity JUST so that when something bad happens she can run off and deal with it BY HERSELF before anyone can stop her  so that she doesn’t have to worry about them getting hurt.

Tremere!Morgan is the Childe of the Tremere Primogen of Seattle, and is currently having to try to NOT get recruited by the Sabbat. She’s like, the ONLY Camarilla version I have of Morgan (but she’s ABOUT to become an Anarch lmao...) And became a vampire because she didn’t want to leave her husband. She’s ALSO the Morgan who has committed THE MOST Diablerie but that’s because she was *literally* forced into it by a Toreador with Entrancement who decided he wanted to die via diablerie and then did it as part of a Blood Hunt against a Toreador who was trying to have her killed (bitch hired a fuckign sniper to KILL HER FRIENDS at her Presentation Party!!!) And because she wants to be better at protecting her friends, has decided to put all of the effort she possibly can into better learning Thaumaturgy. 

I love this character so fucking much and I love seeing her in different worlds and different incarnations...

[paramnesiax]

((the dog has been barking for...literally...over an hour. there’s another dog somewhere who is upset and has also been barking for an hour so she keeps barking in response.))

[paramnesiax]

Kindred History in a Nutshell:

[Some Kindred do something good] Some Asshole: Is anyone going to fuck this up for absolutely stupid, petty reasons?

[paramnesiax]

okay so this is @rosasanguinem I’m going to be shifting this over to a sort of base of operations for my VtM roleplay blogs (specifically, Laci, Morgan and Laurent/Louis).

[sanglantromantique]

...I am going to try to collect myself for a moment.

Are ALL Tremere complicit in this? Are the neonates? Is this the elders and that stupid...council?

It can't be morally acceptable to simply wipe out an entire clan, right?

I'm... very upset right now. This is incredibly disconcerting to me.

[pathogenix]

oh good, someone told you!

whether they're complicit or not, the blood bonds forced on them keep the baby warlocks from speaking out or doing anything to enact change. if the upper leadership could be wiped out and the clan started fresh from the neonates it might be salvageable but frankly it would be safest to nuke them all.

[sanglantromantique]

I am... very not comfortable with the idea of "nuking" an entire clan. That's so many people and... if they're blood bound I just...

[pathogenix]

that's why you're the toreador, and I'm the one who accomplishes things 😎

[sanglantromantique]

...why is everyone so okay with just...killing people!?

[pathogenix]

it's what I am at my core: a monstrous killer. I can't act against my nature any more than you can act against yours.

[sanglantromantique]

How are you okay with that? It doesn't bother you? I don't... get it. Even when I was at my most monstrous I felt some guilt.

[pathogenix]

I remember feeling guilty for everything as a new fledgling, but I grew out of it. now guilt comes from acting in a way inconsistent with the Self rather than comparison to outside standards of behavior.

[sanglantromantique]

And that's who you want to be? That's your ideal Self?

[pathogenix]

yeah I'm cool with it. do what you're good at, right?

[sanglantromantique]

...I suppose. Maybe monsters are necessary in some way.

[pathogenix]

we'll see which of us is standing after gehenna. that's the true test, isn't it? perhaps we'll discover we were both wrong.

[paramnesiax]

I would like to think the world ISN’T going to end but...

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan clenched her fists, unable to make eye contact with him, almost flinching away from the contact.

“Do you know what happens to my kind when we’ve been around too long?” She asked, glancing up at him from under her eyelashes. Her voice was strangled as she forced the words to come.

“We…we start to slip. We fade away – either we start to lose our memories, or we become entirely consumed in them. After awhile, we completely lose touch with reality. Most have five, six hundred years before it starts… It–”

She couldn’t force her lips to make the sounds anymore, a lump rose up in her throat, cutting off any attempt at speech. Morgan hung her head, clenching her fists tightly as tears slid down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“I had heard rumors but never really took the time to investigate.” Cain whispered. “Is that what has you worried?”

Cain shook his head. He knew that a lot of near immortal races suffered this affliction but there were also others like him that tended to be exceptions.

“Are you starting to lose the past or present? Is this scaring you because of our plans for the future?”

“I don’t know.” Morgan’s voice wavered, fighting back the urge to sob. “I can’t tell the present from the past half the time I just…”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I keep seeing and hearing things. When you knocked on the door, I wasn’t even sure if you were really there or I was imagining it.”

“I don’t understand…” She whimpered. “I’m barely even 400. This shouldn’t be happening yet.”

[cainoftao]

“So, have you ever talked to those who lived long enough to survive this in the vampire community?” Cain asked. “If you don’t know anyone, do you want me to find someone who has?”

Cain gave Morgan a kiss on the forehead. “If nothing else, we can always call that Shaman back.”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan shook her head again. “No, I don’t – most either make a deal with the fae or with a demon or…” She let her voice trail off, hoping he would catch her drift and she wouldn’t have to explain that most who made it to this point decided to greet the sun. “I’m too young for this.” She muttered. She had expected at least another century. “I don’t even know how long I have left from this point. It was so sudden and it just keeps getting worse.”

[cainoftao]

“Old age hits everyone at some point. We just need to adapt and cope. If you want, I’ll stick by your side so I can keep you grounded.” Cain offered.

“Either way, in the morning I’ll put in a call for the Shaman to make an appointment. I know we discussed this before but I think that you need to consider the reversal.”

[paramnesiax]

She grimaced. "I don't know what that would even do at this point..." She rested her face in her hands, sighing heavily. "It's not just because I'm a vampire it's like... My mind just can't handle how long I've been alive. It's like I've been through too much or seen too many things..." It wasn't just that -- Morgan didn't want to be human again. She didn't want to be vulnerable in that way, to lose the strength that she had now. She didn't want to be weak again, she didn't want be at risk like that. She pulled away and got to her feet, walking towards the sliding door to the balcony. "I don't want to be human again." Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. She looked out at the city again, noting the faintest hint of light at the horizon. It would be morning probably within the hour at this time of year.

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan shook her head. “No, her room is on the opposite end of the house…” She turned around, glancing about the space. People were already heading back slowly, with sheepish looks on their faces, clearly embarrassed by the mistake. Morgan tried not to laugh, but failed, chuckling softly. “At least I’m not the only one on edge…”

“Alright. If we can’t trust or use either Maggie or Klaus, who would you lean on if I wasn’t here? We need eyes we can trust inside this place.” Cain watched the sheepishly embarrassed faced, looking for a mask to drop.

“If possible, someone in this hall or wing.”

"In the past, I would have told you that any of the servants are trustworthy -- no one works for me that isn't descended from the children I saved when I took the throne or someone else who was in great need."

She sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. "I thought I could trust Maggie because of the same thing -- I saved her but clearly my judgement was off."

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan clenched her fists, unable to make eye contact with him, almost flinching away from the contact.

“Do you know what happens to my kind when we’ve been around too long?” She asked, glancing up at him from under her eyelashes. Her voice was strangled as she forced the words to come.

“We…we start to slip. We fade away – either we start to lose our memories, or we become entirely consumed in them. After awhile, we completely lose touch with reality. Most have five, six hundred years before it starts… It–”

She couldn’t force her lips to make the sounds anymore, a lump rose up in her throat, cutting off any attempt at speech. Morgan hung her head, clenching her fists tightly as tears slid down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“I had heard rumors but never really took the time to investigate.” Cain whispered. “Is that what has you worried?”

Cain shook his head. He knew that a lot of near immortal races suffered this affliction but there were also others like him that tended to be exceptions.

“Are you starting to lose the past or present? Is this scaring you because of our plans for the future?”

“I don’t know.” Morgan’s voice wavered, fighting back the urge to sob. “I can’t tell the present from the past half the time I just…”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I keep seeing and hearing things. When you knocked on the door, I wasn’t even sure if you were really there or I was imagining it.”

“I don’t understand…” She whimpered. “I’m barely even 400. This shouldn’t be happening yet.”

[cainoftao]

“So, have you ever talked to those who lived long enough to survive this in the vampire community?” Cain asked. “If you don’t know anyone, do you want me to find someone who has?”

Cain gave Morgan a kiss on the forehead. “If nothing else, we can always call that Shaman back.”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan shook her head again. "No, I don't -- most either make a deal with the fae or with a demon or..." She let her voice trail off, hoping he would catch her drift and she wouldn't have to explain that most who made it to this point decided to greet the sun. "I'm too young for this." She muttered. She had expected at least another century. "I don't even know how long I have left from this point. It was so sudden and it just keeps getting worse."

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan practically lept up from the bed – her whole body suddenly tensed for battle once again. “What in the hell?!” She snarled, snatching up what was left of her robe from the floor and drawing it around herself. Normally, Morgan would’ve gone to the door herself but given everything that had gone on lately, she looked to Cain for instruction. “What should we do?”

“We dress for fight or flight, I’ll check the hallway first, then, we wash rinse and repeat until safe.” Cain replied as he pulled his jeans back on. “Quickly, get dressed in something you can move in and be ready to follow.”

Morgan nodded, an almost stern expression on her face. She moved quickly, almost silently towards the closet – pulling on undergarments as quickly as she could before slipping into one of her few pairs of pants and a longsleeved black shirt. For good measure, she threw on a pair of low-heeled boots, not wanting to be barefoot should they have to escape to the outdoors.

She walked quickly back to Cain’s side. “Alright,” She said curtly “I’m ready.”

[cainoftao]

During her change of clothes, Cain himself had finished getting his jeans, boots and shirt on. As she approached him, he had turned his senses to the hall outside the room. Humans and vampires alike were running wild, flooding the Floorplan of the house with panic that would have had beheaded chickens telling them to calm down if they could still communicate. But, that also meant the fire was contained, not spreading nor in their neck of the court. Cain double checked the door for heat anyway.

“Good. Now, do you remember the rules from my office that got us here? Live them if you want to stay alive.” Cain had more to say but his ears picked up on the rapid popping of what he assumed was gunfire. It lasted a few minutes but it held his attention as he tried to pinpoint the location. Holding a finger up to Morgan for quiet, he focused and didn’t speak until it died out. “What is on the first floor, Southwest of us?”

[paramnesiax]

“If you say run, I run.” The sound of panicked footsteps pounded out a frantic beat all around them, Morgan’s ears kept catching on heartbeats as the scurried past. “To to southwest?” She asked. “The kitchens – there’s a door to the outside on the west side of the room, leading to a garden.”

[cainoftao]

“Probably figured that the kitchen would create a larger explosion than fire bombing random rooms to spread the blaze.” Cain muttered out loud, streaming his thoughts. “Stay within 15ft of me at all times.”

Opening the door slowly, Cain checked the hall. People milled about, but no one seemed to be moving purposefully in their direction. Motioning for Morgan to follow, Cain lead them towards the source. “They’re expecting panic to herd us to the Northeast, away from the danger. We leave through the Southwest. Away from the bottle neck of death.”

Slogging through the teeming bodies wasn’t difficult, most people knowing better to stay away from the few heading towards danger. “Do you smell popcorn?”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan followed closely, easily weaving her way through the crowd of people. “Right.”

She furrowed her brow. “…Yes, I do. That’s odd…”

A servant darted past them, singed but otherwise unharmed. “FALSE ALARM!” She shouted, “EVERY BODY GET BACK TO THE KITCHENS, SOME IDIOT EXPLODED A PACKAGE OF STOVEPOP”

[cainoftao]

The servant made Cain halt midstep. Sighing, he signaled Morgan to stop. “Turn around. We’re targets.”

Turning, he paused again three steps later. “Is Maggie’s room near here?”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan shook her head. "No, her room is on the opposite end of the house..." She turned around, glancing about the space. People were already heading back slowly, with sheepish looks on their faces, clearly embarrassed by the mistake. Morgan tried not to laugh, but failed, chuckling softly. "At least I'm not the only one on edge..."

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan clenched her fists, unable to make eye contact with him, almost flinching away from the contact.

“Do you know what happens to my kind when we’ve been around too long?” She asked, glancing up at him from under her eyelashes. Her voice was strangled as she forced the words to come.

“We…we start to slip. We fade away – either we start to lose our memories, or we become entirely consumed in them. After awhile, we completely lose touch with reality. Most have five, six hundred years before it starts… It–”

She couldn’t force her lips to make the sounds anymore, a lump rose up in her throat, cutting off any attempt at speech. Morgan hung her head, clenching her fists tightly as tears slid down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“I had heard rumors but never really took the time to investigate.” Cain whispered. “Is that what has you worried?”

Cain shook his head. He knew that a lot of near immortal races suffered this affliction but there were also others like him that tended to be exceptions.

“Are you starting to lose the past or present? Is this scaring you because of our plans for the future?”

"I don't know." Morgan's voice wavered, fighting back the urge to sob. "I can't tell the present from the past half the time I just..."

She shook her head. "I don't know. I keep seeing and hearing things. When you knocked on the door, I wasn't even sure if you were really there or I was imagining it."

"I don't understand..." She whimpered. "I'm barely even 400. This shouldn't be happening yet."

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

The night was quiet – quieter than it had any right to be in a city so big. Somewhere in the distance, traffic could still be heard, but in the apartment everything seemed hushed. The strange quiet unnerved Morgan. It felt like the tense silence before the storm broke, she could almost feel the clouds gathering on the horizon. She wrapped her arms around herself as if they could protect her from the supernatural chill.

Things were changing more quickly than ever before – she could feel the fabric of reality shifting all around her, day by day. Something was coming through, pressing against the edges of reality, trying to shape itself on this plane. She was more sensitive to these things than most; even as a human she had been intricately tied to the supernatural world, able to see things that others couldn’t, hear the things that went bump in the night.  It was part of the reason she had been so successful as the ruler of the Garnet Court – a position she had since abdicated to her close friend, Abigail. A part of her regreted the decision, that she could no longer decide the direction in which vampire society would move, that she couldn’t continue the work she’d begun herself. That there was some chance that it could all be undone without her watching over it.

But she knew in her heart she couldn’t rule anymore. Every waking moment, memories pressed on her consciousness, invading her perception. Sometimes, she couldn’t even tell what was past and what was present. Morgan shook her head, turning away from the window, turning away from the bright lights of the city and to the darkness of her penthouse apartment. Maybe the change wasn’t coming from the outside, maybe it was internal. Maybe the threat, this thing that pressed on the edges of reality – was her own impending loss of sanity. She knew it had to happen eventually, it happened to every vampire. Few made it to five hundred with their faculties intact, even fewer made it past that. With all the trauma she’d experienced as a human, it wouldn’t really be surprising if she was slipping sooner, would it?

She shuddered, a lump rising in her throat. Morgan didn’t want to slip, she didn’t want lose herself to the past the way so many others had… She could barely admit to herself it was happening, she hadn’t even shared the full reason for her abdication of the throne with Cain, who she barely kept anything from since they’d become Mated. As far as she knew, there was nothing they could do about it – unless she wanted to involve the infernal courts or the fae.. Both of which were options that held more danger than succor. Demons were fickle – their deals often went awry… And with the fae? Even worse. No, those weren’t really options. Those were the hope of fools and she was wiser than that.

Morgan heaved a heavy sigh, sinking down to the floor and pulling her knees up to her chest. Her robe pooled on the floor around her.  The quiet may have offered peace, a rare commodity for the former Queen these days, but it was an uneasy peace. She let her head fall forward, resting it on her knees and closing her eyes. Deep down, she felt the urge to call for her Mate – slowly but surely the peace was fading. Thoughts, memories, wild imaginings pressed at the veil of her consciousness. She furrowed her brow, clenching the silky fabric of her robe in her hands, willing them back but failing.

How long could she hold on? How long before she slipped fully from the present and wandered through nothing but dreams of the past, a misty shell of herself? How long, how long?  

Cain could feel the unease seep out of the room as he walked down the hall toward it. He knew the source, something so obvious that he didn’t need to be Mated to know that he was needed. It practically flooded the abode in a fashion that brought Kubrick to mind.

He could tell that Morgan had been scared, that something was eating away at her from the inside, she had a horrible poker face to begin with but the last few days were painful to watch. Cain tried to be around for when she wanted to open up and get his help but so far she hadn’t said a word. He knew her well enough to know this wasn’t the type of thing to push, and to succeed the long game had to be played, however long it took.

He sighed heavily before rapping his knuckles against the hard wood of the door. A symbolic gesture, the wood flimsy enough that he was afraid to sneeze within 20 feet of lest it shattered into a storm of splinters. “Hey, did you fall in?”

She didn’t answer. Morgan couldn’t tell if the sound was in the present or in her head – if it was in her head, she didn’t want to alert Cain to the fact that anything was wrong by talking to no one…

But if it was him, he would only be more worried about her if she didn’t answer. Steeling herself, forcing the storm of memories back as far as she could, Morgan felt safe enough to get to her feet and go to the door.

If she opened it without speaking, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about Cain hearing her talking to no one and not have to worry about him breaking the door down to get to her if she didn’t answer.

When she opened the door, she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or not to see him standing there, a concerned look on his face.

“No I just… Got lost in thought.” She tried to force a smile, it came out as a grimace. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

[cainoftao]

“Too late for that.” Cain’s voice was like that of a weary parent.

“Look, I know you well enough to know this is something that you have to bring to me before I can help with… whatever is leaving you lost in thought but I wish you would. You’re starting to scare me, Milady.” He hoped that the joking nickname would take the edge off and make him seem less concerned than he already was. “Not that I’m counting, but that’s easily the 9th time this week your thoughts kidnapped you, and it’s only Tuesday.”

[paramnesiax]

She kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, love.” Morgan felt a twinge of guilt deep in her chest – she shouldn’t leave him in the dark. He already knew so much already but… She tried to force a laugh, but it didn’t come out quite right. “Maybe we should…sit down in the living room.” She took his arm gently, trying to lead him back down the hall and towards the main room of the apartment. Maybe the familiar setting would help, maybe even lighting the fireplace. It felt strangely cold in the apartment. How would he react, she wondered, to the fact that she’d been hiding this from him? How would he react to the knowledge that, for all intents and purposes, she may as well be dying? They’d only been together a few short years – far too short for beings that had been alive as long as they had. She didn’t want to do this to him, to tell him that just after finding his Mate, he would be losing her. Of course, it would be slow but it would be inevitable. Gods only knew how slow it would be, maybe she had a few more years, maybe a few more decades. It was impossible to tell. When they finally made it to the living room, she sat down on the edge of the couch. Every part of her body language screamed discomfort, betraying the fact that she’d been keeping a heavy secret. She didn’t make eye contact with him and instead, kept her gaze fixed on the patterns in the rug beneath her feet. “I…I don’t know how to start.” Her voice was small and frightened. Frightened of the truth, frightened of how he might take it. Frightened of everything.

[cainoftao]

Her laughter sounded forced and hollow to his ears, telling him how bad she was. He gave her a weak but wry grin before giving her butt a generous squeeze as she gave him the kiss. “As long as you feel up to talking. I don’t want you to feel forced.”

As they walked, even though she held his arm and the walls were just far enough apart that it was comfortable to walk together without being awkward, yet she felt distant. He couldn’t put his finger on it but it felt like she was a million miles away.

Cain could feel her shiver, either at her own emotional problems or with cold, as she lead him down the hall to the living room. Before he joined her on the couch, he built up and lit the fireplace, filling the room with warmth and light. Sitting as close as he physically could on the couch next to her, Cain wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight. “The beginning is recommended but people have been known to use anecdotes in times of struggle.”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan clenched her fists, unable to make eye contact with him, almost flinching away from the contact.

"Do you know what happens to my kind when we've been around too long?" She asked, glancing up at him from under her eyelashes. Her voice was strangled as she forced the words to come.

"We...we start to slip. We fade away -- either we start to lose our memories, or we become entirely consumed in them. After awhile, we completely lose touch with reality. Most have five, six hundred years before it starts... It--"

She couldn't force her lips to make the sounds anymore, a lump rose up in her throat, cutting off any attempt at speech. Morgan hung her head, clenching her fists tightly as tears slid down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan practically lept up from the bed – her whole body suddenly tensed for battle once again. “What in the hell?!” She snarled, snatching up what was left of her robe from the floor and drawing it around herself. Normally, Morgan would’ve gone to the door herself but given everything that had gone on lately, she looked to Cain for instruction. “What should we do?”

“We dress for fight or flight, I’ll check the hallway first, then, we wash rinse and repeat until safe.” Cain replied as he pulled his jeans back on. “Quickly, get dressed in something you can move in and be ready to follow.”

Morgan nodded, an almost stern expression on her face. She moved quickly, almost silently towards the closet – pulling on undergarments as quickly as she could before slipping into one of her few pairs of pants and a longsleeved black shirt. For good measure, she threw on a pair of low-heeled boots, not wanting to be barefoot should they have to escape to the outdoors.

She walked quickly back to Cain’s side. “Alright,” She said curtly “I’m ready.”

[cainoftao]

During her change of clothes, Cain himself had finished getting his jeans, boots and shirt on. As she approached him, he had turned his senses to the hall outside the room. Humans and vampires alike were running wild, flooding the Floorplan of the house with panic that would have had beheaded chickens telling them to calm down if they could still communicate. But, that also meant the fire was contained, not spreading nor in their neck of the court. Cain double checked the door for heat anyway.

“Good. Now, do you remember the rules from my office that got us here? Live them if you want to stay alive.” Cain had more to say but his ears picked up on the rapid popping of what he assumed was gunfire. It lasted a few minutes but it held his attention as he tried to pinpoint the location. Holding a finger up to Morgan for quiet, he focused and didn’t speak until it died out. “What is on the first floor, Southwest of us?”

[paramnesiax]

“If you say run, I run.” The sound of panicked footsteps pounded out a frantic beat all around them, Morgan’s ears kept catching on heartbeats as the scurried past. “To to southwest?” She asked. “The kitchens – there’s a door to the outside on the west side of the room, leading to a garden.”

[cainoftao]

“Probably figured that the kitchen would create a larger explosion than fire bombing random rooms to spread the blaze.” Cain muttered out loud, streaming his thoughts. “Stay within 15ft of me at all times.”

Opening the door slowly, Cain checked the hall. People milled about, but no one seemed to be moving purposefully in their direction. Motioning for Morgan to follow, Cain lead them towards the source. “They’re expecting panic to herd us to the Northeast, away from the danger. We leave through the Southwest. Away from the bottle neck of death.”

Slogging through the teeming bodies wasn’t difficult, most people knowing better to stay away from the few heading towards danger. “Do you smell popcorn?”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan followed closely, easily weaving her way through the crowd of people. "Right."

She furrowed her brow. "...Yes, I do. That's odd..."

A servant darted past them, singed but otherwise unharmed. "FALSE ALARM!" She shouted, "EVERY BODY GET BACK TO THE KITCHENS, SOME IDIOT EXPLODED A PACKAGE OF STOVEPOP"

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

The night was quiet – quieter than it had any right to be in a city so big. Somewhere in the distance, traffic could still be heard, but in the apartment everything seemed hushed. The strange quiet unnerved Morgan. It felt like the tense silence before the storm broke, she could almost feel the clouds gathering on the horizon. She wrapped her arms around herself as if they could protect her from the supernatural chill.

Things were changing more quickly than ever before – she could feel the fabric of reality shifting all around her, day by day. Something was coming through, pressing against the edges of reality, trying to shape itself on this plane. She was more sensitive to these things than most; even as a human she had been intricately tied to the supernatural world, able to see things that others couldn’t, hear the things that went bump in the night.  It was part of the reason she had been so successful as the ruler of the Garnet Court – a position she had since abdicated to her close friend, Abigail. A part of her regreted the decision, that she could no longer decide the direction in which vampire society would move, that she couldn’t continue the work she’d begun herself. That there was some chance that it could all be undone without her watching over it.

But she knew in her heart she couldn’t rule anymore. Every waking moment, memories pressed on her consciousness, invading her perception. Sometimes, she couldn’t even tell what was past and what was present. Morgan shook her head, turning away from the window, turning away from the bright lights of the city and to the darkness of her penthouse apartment. Maybe the change wasn’t coming from the outside, maybe it was internal. Maybe the threat, this thing that pressed on the edges of reality – was her own impending loss of sanity. She knew it had to happen eventually, it happened to every vampire. Few made it to five hundred with their faculties intact, even fewer made it past that. With all the trauma she’d experienced as a human, it wouldn’t really be surprising if she was slipping sooner, would it?

She shuddered, a lump rising in her throat. Morgan didn’t want to slip, she didn’t want lose herself to the past the way so many others had… She could barely admit to herself it was happening, she hadn’t even shared the full reason for her abdication of the throne with Cain, who she barely kept anything from since they’d become Mated. As far as she knew, there was nothing they could do about it – unless she wanted to involve the infernal courts or the fae.. Both of which were options that held more danger than succor. Demons were fickle – their deals often went awry… And with the fae? Even worse. No, those weren’t really options. Those were the hope of fools and she was wiser than that.

Morgan heaved a heavy sigh, sinking down to the floor and pulling her knees up to her chest. Her robe pooled on the floor around her.  The quiet may have offered peace, a rare commodity for the former Queen these days, but it was an uneasy peace. She let her head fall forward, resting it on her knees and closing her eyes. Deep down, she felt the urge to call for her Mate – slowly but surely the peace was fading. Thoughts, memories, wild imaginings pressed at the veil of her consciousness. She furrowed her brow, clenching the silky fabric of her robe in her hands, willing them back but failing.

How long could she hold on? How long before she slipped fully from the present and wandered through nothing but dreams of the past, a misty shell of herself? How long, how long?  

Cain could feel the unease seep out of the room as he walked down the hall toward it. He knew the source, something so obvious that he didn’t need to be Mated to know that he was needed. It practically flooded the abode in a fashion that brought Kubrick to mind.

He could tell that Morgan had been scared, that something was eating away at her from the inside, she had a horrible poker face to begin with but the last few days were painful to watch. Cain tried to be around for when she wanted to open up and get his help but so far she hadn’t said a word. He knew her well enough to know this wasn’t the type of thing to push, and to succeed the long game had to be played, however long it took.

He sighed heavily before rapping his knuckles against the hard wood of the door. A symbolic gesture, the wood flimsy enough that he was afraid to sneeze within 20 feet of lest it shattered into a storm of splinters. “Hey, did you fall in?”

She didn’t answer. Morgan couldn’t tell if the sound was in the present or in her head – if it was in her head, she didn’t want to alert Cain to the fact that anything was wrong by talking to no one…

But if it was him, he would only be more worried about her if she didn’t answer. Steeling herself, forcing the storm of memories back as far as she could, Morgan felt safe enough to get to her feet and go to the door.

If she opened it without speaking, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about Cain hearing her talking to no one and not have to worry about him breaking the door down to get to her if she didn’t answer.

When she opened the door, she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or not to see him standing there, a concerned look on his face.

“No I just… Got lost in thought.” She tried to force a smile, it came out as a grimace. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

[cainoftao]

“Too late for that.” Cain’s voice was like that of a weary parent.

“Look, I know you well enough to know this is something that you have to bring to me before I can help with… whatever is leaving you lost in thought but I wish you would. You’re starting to scare me, Milady.” He hoped that the joking nickname would take the edge off and make him seem less concerned than he already was. “Not that I’m counting, but that’s easily the 9th time this week your thoughts kidnapped you, and it’s only Tuesday.”

[paramnesiax]

She kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry, love." Morgan felt a twinge of guilt deep in her chest -- she shouldn't leave him in the dark. He already knew so much already but... She tried to force a laugh, but it didn't come out quite right. "Maybe we should...sit down in the living room." She took his arm gently, trying to lead him back down the hall and towards the main room of the apartment. Maybe the familiar setting would help, maybe even lighting the fireplace. It felt strangely cold in the apartment. How would he react, she wondered, to the fact that she'd been hiding this from him? How would he react to the knowledge that, for all intents and purposes, she may as well be dying? They'd only been together a few short years -- far too short for beings that had been alive as long as they had. She didn't want to do this to him, to tell him that just after finding his Mate, he would be losing her. Of course, it would be slow but it would be inevitable. Gods only knew how slow it would be, maybe she had a few more years, maybe a few more decades. It was impossible to tell. When they finally made it to the living room, she sat down on the edge of the couch. Every part of her body language screamed discomfort, betraying the fact that she'd been keeping a heavy secret. She didn't make eye contact with him and instead, kept her gaze fixed on the patterns in the rug beneath her feet. "I...I don't know how to start." Her voice was small and frightened. Frightened of the truth, frightened of how he might take it. Frightened of everything.

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan practically lept up from the bed – her whole body suddenly tensed for battle once again. “What in the hell?!” She snarled, snatching up what was left of her robe from the floor and drawing it around herself. Normally, Morgan would’ve gone to the door herself but given everything that had gone on lately, she looked to Cain for instruction. “What should we do?”

“We dress for fight or flight, I’ll check the hallway first, then, we wash rinse and repeat until safe.” Cain replied as he pulled his jeans back on. “Quickly, get dressed in something you can move in and be ready to follow.”

Morgan nodded, an almost stern expression on her face. She moved quickly, almost silently towards the closet – pulling on undergarments as quickly as she could before slipping into one of her few pairs of pants and a longsleeved black shirt. For good measure, she threw on a pair of low-heeled boots, not wanting to be barefoot should they have to escape to the outdoors.

She walked quickly back to Cain’s side. “Alright,” She said curtly “I’m ready.”

[cainoftao]

During her change of clothes, Cain himself had finished getting his jeans, boots and shirt on. As she approached him, he had turned his senses to the hall outside the room. Humans and vampires alike were running wild, flooding the Floorplan of the house with panic that would have had beheaded chickens telling them to calm down if they could still communicate. But, that also meant the fire was contained, not spreading nor in their neck of the court. Cain double checked the door for heat anyway.

“Good. Now, do you remember the rules from my office that got us here? Live them if you want to stay alive.” Cain had more to say but his ears picked up on the rapid popping of what he assumed was gunfire. It lasted a few minutes but it held his attention as he tried to pinpoint the location. Holding a finger up to Morgan for quiet, he focused and didn’t speak until it died out. “What is on the first floor, Southwest of us?”

[paramnesiax]

"If you say run, I run." The sound of panicked footsteps pounded out a frantic beat all around them, Morgan's ears kept catching on heartbeats as the scurried past. "To to southwest?" She asked. "The kitchens -- there's a door to the outside on the west side of the room, leading to a garden."

[paramnesiax]

Beyond The Veil <Morgan & Cain> (cainoftao)

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

The night was quiet – quieter than it had any right to be in a city so big. Somewhere in the distance, traffic could still be heard, but in the apartment everything seemed hushed. The strange quiet unnerved Morgan. It felt like the tense silence before the storm broke, she could almost feel the clouds gathering on the horizon. She wrapped her arms around herself as if they could protect her from the supernatural chill.

Things were changing more quickly than ever before – she could feel the fabric of reality shifting all around her, day by day. Something was coming through, pressing against the edges of reality, trying to shape itself on this plane. She was more sensitive to these things than most; even as a human she had been intricately tied to the supernatural world, able to see things that others couldn’t, hear the things that went bump in the night.  It was part of the reason she had been so successful as the ruler of the Garnet Court – a position she had since abdicated to her close friend, Abigail. A part of her regreted the decision, that she could no longer decide the direction in which vampire society would move, that she couldn’t continue the work she’d begun herself. That there was some chance that it could all be undone without her watching over it.

But she knew in her heart she couldn’t rule anymore. Every waking moment, memories pressed on her consciousness, invading her perception. Sometimes, she couldn’t even tell what was past and what was present. Morgan shook her head, turning away from the window, turning away from the bright lights of the city and to the darkness of her penthouse apartment. Maybe the change wasn’t coming from the outside, maybe it was internal. Maybe the threat, this thing that pressed on the edges of reality – was her own impending loss of sanity. She knew it had to happen eventually, it happened to every vampire. Few made it to five hundred with their faculties intact, even fewer made it past that. With all the trauma she’d experienced as a human, it wouldn’t really be surprising if she was slipping sooner, would it?

She shuddered, a lump rising in her throat. Morgan didn’t want to slip, she didn’t want lose herself to the past the way so many others had… She could barely admit to herself it was happening, she hadn’t even shared the full reason for her abdication of the throne with Cain, who she barely kept anything from since they’d become Mated. As far as she knew, there was nothing they could do about it – unless she wanted to involve the infernal courts or the fae.. Both of which were options that held more danger than succor. Demons were fickle – their deals often went awry… And with the fae? Even worse. No, those weren’t really options. Those were the hope of fools and she was wiser than that.

Morgan heaved a heavy sigh, sinking down to the floor and pulling her knees up to her chest. Her robe pooled on the floor around her.  The quiet may have offered peace, a rare commodity for the former Queen these days, but it was an uneasy peace. She let her head fall forward, resting it on her knees and closing her eyes. Deep down, she felt the urge to call for her Mate – slowly but surely the peace was fading. Thoughts, memories, wild imaginings pressed at the veil of her consciousness. She furrowed her brow, clenching the silky fabric of her robe in her hands, willing them back but failing.

How long could she hold on? How long before she slipped fully from the present and wandered through nothing but dreams of the past, a misty shell of herself? How long, how long?  

Cain could feel the unease seep out of the room as he walked down the hall toward it. He knew the source, something so obvious that he didn’t need to be Mated to know that he was needed. It practically flooded the abode in a fashion that brought Kubrick to mind.

He could tell that Morgan had been scared, that something was eating away at her from the inside, she had a horrible poker face to begin with but the last few days were painful to watch. Cain tried to be around for when she wanted to open up and get his help but so far she hadn’t said a word. He knew her well enough to know this wasn’t the type of thing to push, and to succeed the long game had to be played, however long it took.

He sighed heavily before rapping his knuckles against the hard wood of the door. A symbolic gesture, the wood flimsy enough that he was afraid to sneeze within 20 feet of lest it shattered into a storm of splinters. “Hey, did you fall in?”

She didn't answer. Morgan couldn't tell if the sound was in the present or in her head -- if it was in her head, she didn't want to alert Cain to the fact that anything was wrong by talking to no one...

But if it was him, he would only be more worried about her if she didn't answer. Steeling herself, forcing the storm of memories back as far as she could, Morgan felt safe enough to get to her feet and go to the door.

If she opened it without speaking, at least she wouldn't have to worry about Cain hearing her talking to no one and not have to worry about him breaking the door down to get to her if she didn't answer.

When she opened the door, she couldn't decide if she was relieved or not to see him standing there, a concerned look on his face.

"No I just... Got lost in thought." She tried to force a smile, it came out as a grimace. "I didn't mean to worry you."

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan practically lept up from the bed – her whole body suddenly tensed for battle once again. “What in the hell?!” She snarled, snatching up what was left of her robe from the floor and drawing it around herself. Normally, Morgan would’ve gone to the door herself but given everything that had gone on lately, she looked to Cain for instruction. “What should we do?”

“We dress for fight or flight, I’ll check the hallway first, then, we wash rinse and repeat until safe.” Cain replied as he pulled his jeans back on. “Quickly, get dressed in something you can move in and be ready to follow.”

Morgan nodded, an almost stern expression on her face. She moved quickly, almost silently towards the closet -- pulling on undergarments as quickly as she could before slipping into one of her few pairs of pants and a longsleeved black shirt. For good measure, she threw on a pair of low-heeled boots, not wanting to be barefoot should they have to escape to the outdoors.

She walked quickly back to Cain's side. "Alright," She said curtly "I'm ready."

[paramnesiax]

Don’t Make Headlines III: It’s Hard to Tell the Truth (Morgan x Cain) <CainofTao>

[paramnesiax]

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

cainoftao:

paramnesiax:

Morgan pursed her lips. “Why do you have to act like this is so easy when it’s not?” Her tone was halfway between a whine and a snarl, feeling like Cain was trying to minimize what, for her, was a rather large barrier to overcome.

“Simple, years upon years upon years of experience have taught me that once you start this kind of thing, and keep it up, it isn’t as horrible or difficult as you think. Here, I’ll be fair. I buried my first wife at the age of 45, on the edge of the lake where we were married, not 10 feet from where we performed the ceremony for the tribe. I didn’t remarry until 1267, after my youngest child from my first marriage was buried for about 10 years.” Cain’s smile was one of sad remembrance, but it was a rather nostalgic smile just the same. “That was when I betrothed a female Lycanthrope, we’re together until she passed away in 1435, our litter living another 120 years.”

She wanted to tell him he still sounded like an ass but couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Why couldn’t he just accept that, even if it wouldn’t be forever, it was difficult and scary right now? Morgan didn’t want to be told “It’s not as horrible as you imagine”, she wanted to be told “I know it’s scary right now, but you can get through that and it’ll be better eventually.” But no, he was just going to keep going with the “it’s not so bad”. She crossed her arms over her chest and didn’t speak.

“Morgan, look, maybe I’m coming off the wrong way trying to help you. I’m used to giving pep talks and motivational speeches to the pack or things in a more official setting like Congress or courts. Given how you’re closing off to me, I’m going out on a limb and saying that it’s not helping.” Cain sighed as he saw her turn away and cross her arms. Scratching his head he tried to find a better approach.

“I know that I am asking a lot of you. The cliff notes version of your life that you gave me so far is more than proof of that. Like so many of those things you did, I’m sure that the thought of what you are about to do or need to do is scary. Hell, probably down right terrifying. But you got through it. You did it to get to where you are today, proving not only how strong you are, but how brave you can be. We’ll see this to the end, we’ll get through this, and someday in the future you’ll realize that you used to be scared of what is possibly the best thing to happen in your life.”

She sighed heavily. “Look, I know that there’s wisdom in what you’re saying but I need time. I need time…to process, to adjust.”

Morgan covered her face with her hands again. “It’s just too much too soon.”

[cainoftao]

“Hey, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You aren’t dealing with this alone.” Cain wrapped his arms back around her.

There was more for Cain to add to reassure the Queen but alas duty called in the form of a scream, smoke, and banging on the bedroom door. “FIRE! FIRE! WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!”

[paramnesiax]

Morgan practically lept up from the bed -- her whole body suddenly tensed for battle once again. "What in the hell?!" She snarled, snatching up what was left of her robe from the floor and drawing it around herself. Normally, Morgan would've gone to the door herself but given everything that had gone on lately, she looked to Cain for instruction. "What should we do?"