rip

[parkerwtf-blog1]

really really sad that this rp is closing bc I love all your charas and loved all of you. if you have kik/Skype or any social media hmu ok ok ily all and am so sad!!! :(

[parkerwtf-blog1]

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[parkerwtf-blog1]

ok ok i’m going to sleep and as i said in a previous post i’ll be restricted to mobile until sunday (possibly monday?? but i dont know) 

but yeah i have a kik and a skype i think??? so if u want those hmu so i can figure them out!!

i’ll pick up all my chats and ish when i’m back. i’ll miss u lovely people while i am gone

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

He leaned his head on Parker’s shoulder, swallowing hard and laughing softly, “I can’t quit football, Parks. You know that. I need it…” Ashton shrugged, “It was so cute and helpless. I feel bad…”

“i don't really get why you need it, but i figured that would be your answer. was worth a shot” he laughed, “i can tell. i’m worried you might start crying about this dog.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

Ashton knew that Parker was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. He just sat on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest, “I’m sorry.” He started rambling, “I’m just… I don’t how to handle anything anymore. I’m just trying to live and be happy, and I’m not. I’m not fucking happy. I miss my mom, I fucking never see you except for summers, I kill myself over football, and I can’t even lead a normal life. It sucks. It sucks so bad.” He looked at the ground, “And I failed two of my classes last semester, and I’m so… I saw a puppy on the way home from Rosie’s yesterday and it was on the street and I wanted to bring it home but I didn’t and now I’m just… Everything is so hard.”

“i really do think your meds would help you feel better.” he sighed, moving to sit next to his friend, placing his hand on his shoulder. “i know you do, i’m sorry. her loss though, right? come on, you act like i didn’t come to at least half of your football games. and with my mom in a vulnerable state, i’m sure we can get more out of her this year.” he smiled, trying to make ashton feel better. “i know you don’t want me to say this, but did you ever thing about quitting football? is it worth all the stress?” he asked, already knowing what the answer would be. “you can make up for those classes, don’t worry. you’re stressing about a puppy? are you serious? why don’t we just go back tomorrow and look for it? if we find it, we’ll take it home.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

“Whatever. I’m sure.”

“okay, you’re fine. don’t take your meds, i don’t care. but i’m not watching as your compulsions take over your life again. i won't.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

blair0k:

“it’s super boring, it’s the kind of shit they teach people in rehab. they think it works, but it totally doesn’t.”

“i thought it was a yoga thing?”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

“Well, it’s my normal. And if you can’t accept that, then fine.”

“that’s not what i meant and you know that.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

Ashton stared at his friend, swallowing hard, “I just want to be fine. So, if I say it enough, I will be.” He shrugged, “You’re not gonna change my mind. I’m not going back on the meds. I want to be normal.”

“that’s not how it works. saying you’re fine doesn’t make you fine.” he sighed, “normal isn’t needing to check three times if you left the water running. you need to go back on your meds. they’re the only thing that’ll to help.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

blair0k:

“i don’t know, don’t question it.” she laughed, “let the ocean speak to you, man. i don’t know how it works. try and meditate.”

“i’m questioning it because i don’t understand it.” he smiled, “meditating sounds boring, i think i’ll pass.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

“Because I want to be good at something. And I’m good at this.” Ashton loved football, but he was never completely sure why he loved it so much. It was fun for him, sure, but it made him anxious. It had always made him anxious, and his coach in college wasn’t very understanding. He didn’t see validity in Ashton’s anxiety and was constantly undermining it. “I’m fine. I don’t understand why that’s so hard to understand.” He ran his hands over his face, “I’m okay.”

“be good at something else. it’s not like you’re an untalented loser, ash. you could be good at a million things if you wanted to be.” he ran his hand through his hair, getting more frustrated as his friend spoke. deep down he knew that ashton probably did think this was a good idea, but he wouldn’t let his friend make a bad decision for a stupid coach. “you’re NOT fine.” he yelled, letting his temper get the best of him. “everyone can see it, ashton. you’re not fine in any sense of the word. why can't you get that through your thick head?”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

“It’s just a mess.” Ashton shrugged, “I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine.” He stood up so he could pace, not wanted to bounce his leg with Parker next to him. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

“a mess that i don’t get why you’re a part of.” he said, “you can’t honestly think this is a good idea and you’re fine. you’re pacing around, you have to know you’re not fine.” he said, raising his voice slightly. “how am i not supposed to worry about you? you’re not taking your meds, it’d be hard not to worry.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

blair0k:

“you’re thinking too hard, you have to think of nothing. but don’t think about nothing, because then you’re thinking about something.” she laughed.

“wait, what?” he laughed, more confused than he’d been before. “i have no idea what you just said or what i’m supposed to do.”

[ashtonfrck-deactivated20160702]

“I… It’s not a big deal. It’s not hurting anything… I just like to have clean hands. That’s it. It’s not… It’s not a big deal.” Ashton looked down at his hands taking a deep breath, “I’m the starting quarterback… I can’t lost that. I just… My dad was so proud when I told him. I can’t lose that. I can’t be second string again.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

“you’re hurting YOURSELF. it’s not a big deal until they’re so dry that they start to bleed.” he sighed, looking over at his friend. “i know it’s a big deal, but it shouldn’t be more important to you than getting better. does your dad even know you’re not taking your meds? because i can guarantee you he’d be pissed, ashton. you’re not going to be second string over meds, that’s not a valid reason to stop you from starting.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

blair0k:

blair looked over when she heard him laughing and shrugged, “i dunno.” she started laughing herself. “the ocean, it speaks to me.” she joked.

“you got that from just looking at the ocean?” he laughed, focusing on the water in front of them. “what am i doing wrong? i get nothing.”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

ashtonfrck:

“I’ve been doing fine without them, Parks.” Ashton shrugged, sighing softly, “I’ve worked too hard to lose it all now.”

“fine? ashton you just said yourself people think you’ve been acting strange. fine isn’t washing your hand compulsively until they’re red and dry. you left the beach to walk all the way back here to check if you left the damn water running. that’s not doing fine.” he stopped, taking a breath and trying to control himself. he wouldn’t yell at ashton, it would just make everything worse. “worked too hard? so you’re just going to let your mental health get worse all for some stupid football coach?”

[parkerwtf-blog1]

blair0k:

“nope, it’s the perfect thing to look at while you think about nothing.” she laughed quietly. “understandable, yeah.” she said, staying quiet for a few moments before speaking up again. “how come we’re called human beings but they don’t call dogs canine beings?”

he laughed quietly at her next question, not sure where someone thinks of something like that. “what?” he continued to laugh, looking over at the girl. “where’d you even think of something like that?”