It's Been Some Time... I Can Explain...
So...It's been a few months since I've blogged but I have an excuse. I was busy doing things for the government. Seriously. I joined the Army. I was doing great until my depression got the best of me and pushed me to self harm. I won't go into much more detail than that. Just know I'm ok now. Maybe I'll write a post about it or I'll put some journal entries up here from while I was there.
In this one I wanna cover how to live a normal life while being LGB...to get into that, I'll have to tell you about someone I met while I was in the Army so this post will be about what happened and why I'm no longer a member of the U.S. Army (still a soldier for life tho!!!).
*sigh* here we go...get your fuckin popcorn. incoming wall of text...
So I shipped out to Ft. Leonard Wood on March 7th of 2018. Apprehension and fear only begins to cover the plethora of emotions that filled my being as I stared down that bus standing in front of the MEPS. 'After almost 2 years of trial and error, it comes down to this. I've been trying so hard for so long to get to this point. Now it's time to put up or shut up' I thought to myself as I joined my fellow soldiers in the single file procession into the door of the bus. As I stood in the shadow of this vehicular behemoth, my trance was broken by an all too familiar sound. I looked to where the sound came from and saw my family huddled around my mother who was sobbing uncontrollably. I looked to my liaison who nodded in approval. I walked over to my mom and said, what could likely be, my last words to her until I had my boo- well... new balance on the ground at my new home for the next 24 weeks. Ft. Leonard FUCKING Wood. We hugged for what seemed like 3 seconds I planted a big kiss on her cheek, told her I would be ok, and joined my fellow future soldiers on our chariot to combat.
The ride to the airport was quiet. I guess that's to be expected of a bunch of kids on the way to what could be only described as hell on earth. Attempts at small talk were made. I saw some laughs shared as I tried my hardest to soak in as much music as I could while simultaneously meditating and praying for health. I would be without music for at least 9 weeks. I had to get as much of it as possible while I could. Before I knew it, the bus was stopped in front of the delta airlines terminal. That's my stop. I said my farewells as I stepped off of the bus. I grab my planet fitness duffel bag and took a deep breath as I entered the automatic doors. My journey begins!!!
The plane ride was uneventful...kinda. I was taking two planes two hours to the west. One from my home to NC then from there to MO. There, we would board a charter bus that would take us three hours outside of St. Louis to the base. As I was waiting in the airport in Charles-...something North Carolina, I had a nice conversation with a well traveled guy who was on his way back home from his beach house. I also met one of my closer friends through this whole ordeal (we will call him Red).
It seemed that I had only shut my eyes when I was woken up by a plain clothed man telling me to grab my bags and like up in 4 ranks outside of the USO. It was time to go. As I stood at ease in my first of many formations, I checked my watch. It was almost 10p. I was so ready to get on that bus and sleep more. When I got to the charter, sleep was everything but present. I managed to catch 15-20 minutes of sleep MAX between anxiety attacks. Hopefully our drill sergeant would have mercy on us and allow us to sleep when we get there.
I finally arrived at the St. Louis airport around 7:45p. My orders tell me to head to the USO and standby until a member of command arrives. I find the nearest person in Ops and ask for directions. When I arrived there, i checked in my bag and found a nice place to catch some sleep. I heard the stories about how the drill sergeants tend to keep you up until the wee hours of the morning. I prayed they would have some mercy and usher us to our beds as I drifted off into a tumultuous sleep in my oversized leather recliner.
Spoiler alert: My prayers weren't answered.
We arrived at the base at 12:37. The drill sergeant was calm. Too calm. I was suspicious but since she's not yelling now, I was going to do everything in my power to keep her from doing so. She got on the bus and introduced herself followed by "i want all of my MPs and 37F to the left, everyone else to the right. When I say 'ready move' you will reply 'yes drill sergeant' then execute the command do you understand?"
"YES DRILL SERGEANT!!!" we screamed as we grabbed our bags and followed our first official order. We spent a majority of the night filling out paperwork and forfeiting contraband (basically, if you can't have it in jail, you can't have it in BCT). We filed up to the barracks of the 43rd AG Reception Battalion at 3:30am. We were given linens and taken to a pitch black room where we were told to find a bed and sleep for 45 minutes. "Be on the steps at 0430 in full PTs, shaven, with your license and social security card." The drill sergeant barked as he shut off the lights and locked the door. I wasn't scared yet. I knew that this doesn't even begin to compare to where I would be a week from then. I shut my eyes and scrambled for every last bit of sleep I could muster.
I'm gonna end this here. Part 2 is coming soon. I promise.
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