It's been years since I last updated this. A lot has changed but 1 thing hasn't. And that 1 thing is, the fact that I feel like tumblr is the only safe place for me to share my thoughts. Since the last time I was on here, I started a family, started a real business and assumed the role of bread winner of the family. It's been a crazy journey to say the least but Im still here. During this journey I've realized that the older a man gets, the less the world cares about your feelings. The only thing that matters is what you got, what you do and how you do it. I look back at my past tumblr journals and realize that I've always been in tune with my thoughts & feelings. And back then, it was semi acceptable because I was young. Girls used to love being around me because I was able to communicate my feelings which made it easy to understand theirs. However, the older a we get, the less women care about how you feel. They start to only focus on how they feel and what you can do for them. That's due to society and a combination of their experiences on their journey. In short, their survival. On the other hand, men get older and our experiences teach us that no one cares about how we feel and to keep our feelings to ourselves. We get older, we try to continue sharing our feelings, those feelings get used against us. So we bottle those feelings, dont share and then those same women begin to use our lack of emotional sharing as a reason why they do what they do. And I get it, because all women share their feelings from birth and experience shut down after shut down while on their journey to womenhood. So when they get to a certain age, they've already mastered the art of compartmentalization. Whereas men, we get older and just want a female we can be vulnerable with, without her taking advantage of it. It's a shitty cycle. One that Im experiencing and one that my daughters will experience. Yes I said daughters. God blessed me with 2 daughters. I guess they're my karma lolll I'll have to try and teach them so that they have the knowledge and tools to move accordingly. But only time will tell... Anyway, Im rambling. Just want to say Im back and Im glad that I can get my thoughts out on here. A place thats familiar. A place that feels safe. I'll be back. Talk to you soon
