paper houses

S. “I am still so naïve; I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don’t ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?” ― Sylvia Plath

[mountainqoats]

[passionatefragmentary]

Step 4

Once upon a time, I decided I would go through the 12 Step Program by myself, not because I had issue enough with any substance to warrant it, but because if so many people swore by it to fix their lives and rid them of their vices then maybe I could do the same for myself. I bought the books and even found an online meeting group and it took some tinkering to tailor it to my ambiguous and craveless case, but I had declared enough times that my life had become unmanageable, so I was basically a pro at step one before I even started. I breezed past the first three, nervous that I might actually need a dangerous addiction to something besides chaos for this to work, but when it came time to take step four, I was stuck, to say the least. Making a moral inventory of myself had me feeling... hesitant. As an Aries who will consistently blame being a stubborn asshole on being an Aries, accepting my own flaws has never been my forte. I'm content with everything being everyone else's fault and being the universe's favorite cosmic joke, so for some book to have the audacity to tell me that I have character flaws?! Unacceptable. I stared at the pages for a while, hoping the words would fall out of focus and I could pretend I'd never made this wayward attempt. And then I dwelled on it, like with everything, until suddenly it was 4 hours later and I was clearing my search history to hide from myself that I'd looked up my ex, and then found myself in statuses and photos from 2014 with an utterly different life, trying to pinpoint when things went belly up. And while I probably knew all along, I think that was the point where I could admit that I did have a problem; no, I don't gamble or pop pills to mask my problems, moreover I am my problem: a wrapped present with the bow tied too tightly. It still wasn't enough of a revelation to get me to write out my inventory, but one step at a time, right?

[wnq-writers]

Your touch Haunts me, Like a shadow Or a Sin.

 Folium Flavium

[squirrelbro]

Visit Original Link

[passionatefragmentary]

“Not again,” I scream, over-analyzing everything. The circle of us won’t break it’s pattern. I am your stubborn hypocritical lover guarded by thorns of my past. You have been wounded, bled out. The winds of your ego, the waves of my tears made the most perfect almighty storm that we’ve seen this year. You are the only man who makes me feel like this. I am your weakness, I am your protector. But who will protect you from me? Experience gathered, we’ve learned from our past. So don’t worry darling, this too shall pass.

[darksky-marianasilva-deactivate]

[la-vita-e-bellisima]

[passionatefragmentary]

001: Hypocrates/Marina & the Diamonds you say that love is not that easy, and that’s the lesson that you teach me. so hypocritical, overly cynical. i’m sick and tired of all your preaching. you tell me one thing, and do another, keep all your secrets undercover.

002: On My Bones/Kendall Payne what this year has taught me: nothing is certain. this year has been hard on my bones.

003: Losing My Religion/REM trying to keep up with you, i don’t know if i can do it. like a hurt, loss and blinded fool.

004: Shouldn’t Come Back/Demi Lovato sorry i’m not sorry for the times i don’t reply, you know the reason why. you’ll only let me down. i was only a kid, maybe you shouldn’t come back.

005: Leave a Note/Missy Higgins time blows softly all around us, but we don't feel it now. you made us hollow on the inside, so next time when you're leaving, could you at least leave a note? next time when you're leaving, could you tell us before you go?

[victoriajoan]

[Your poems] will tell all that happened, and more, except how, in your worst moments, they failed you.

Ted Hughes, from Collected Poems (via victoriajoan)

[passionatefragmentary]

weeds | marina & the diamonds “i think my time is up, ‘cause he keeps growing back like weeds.”

affair | hurts “you took my heart for a little while. the greatest mistake i ever made? loving you.”

car crash | anna nalick “you know i couldn’t stay, let me go. i might let you break my heart, if i don’t break it first.”

save you | kelly clarkson “i can tell how much you hate this, and deep down inside you know it's killing me/i can call, wish you well and try to change this, but nothing i can say would change anything/i wish i could save you, i wish i could say to you i'm not going nowhere, i wish i could say to you it's gonna be alright.“

better than nothing | sarah jaffe “what happens to the old girl, what happens to the boy? what happens to the old boy, will he be destroyed? is this what i’m losing? but i feel something. it's better than nothing.”

now the one you love is leaving | lydia “is it a wonder you're lonely? taking chances to feel again. you were so sure that i'd be just fine here.”

straight for the knife | sia ”you looked me straight in the eye and turned the gas on high, held the flame alight, and you wonder why i’m scared of fire.”

good and bad | maria mena “i never claimed to be flawless; i owned up to my faults. yours were subtle, painful betrayal.”

no angel | birdy “remember once the things you told me and how the tears ran from my eyes? they didn't fall because it hurt me, i just hate to see you cry. sometimes i wish we could be strangers so i didn't have to know your pain. but if i kept myself from danger, this emptiness would feel the same.”